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I was talking to a close friend of mine the other day and he asked for my help with a relationship problem of his. Just so everybody know's he as giving me permission to ask anybody on this form for their input ( He doesn't have Internet, and appreciates all the help he can get). He is getting married in a few months and he is seriously questioning his partners honesty. He feel's like she has cheated on him possibly on several occasions before and after their engagement. One example he gave me was the way she changes her wording constantly when talking about other groups of friends by saying she only went out with her close girl friends, then in a day or two she tells him about how she had fun with.. then she names a guy's name.. then the next day she mentions she was out with only herself. He is also noticing a wierd tension building up between the them and he as asked her about why she changes names in her stories and if there is anything he is doing to annoy her and they do talk about it, but he feels she is just saying what he want's to hear. I personally don't know how to help them, from a third perspective it does look like she has gotten more depressed since they have decided to get married, and he has gotten more depressed since she has been acting this way. I reassured my friend that this could be pre-marriage stress but I don't have the experience to confirm this, and I don't want him to get into something that will turn out to be a mess. If anybody has anything to say that might help them figure out a way to properly communicate to get this figured out, or any word's of wisdom he would be very appreciative.
If you don't trust someone, you shouldn't marry them. Every night I fall asleep next to someone who could (if she so desired) crack me over the head with a hammer or pull a carving knife across my jugular while I slumber. I would tell your friend that without trust you can't have a successful marriage and you're setting yourself up for misery.
-------------------- To call humans 'rational beings' does injustice to the term, 'rational.' Humans are capable of rational thought, but it is not their essence. Humans are animals, beasts with complex brains. Humans, more often than not, utilize their cerebrum to rationalize what their primal instincts, their preconceived notions, and their emotional desires have presented as goals - humans are rationalizing beings.