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InvisibleAdom
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Registered: 09/30/01
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Bill Hicks
    #1565288 - 05/21/03 11:33 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

I love Bill Hicks, any one want to share some of his great quotes? I am also curious about finding some of his material, I have Love and Laughter and one from the UFO tour that loaned out and haven't seen for a month, any suggestions would be appreciated!


Edited by Adom (05/21/03 02:17 PM)


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InvisibleAdom
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Re: Watching TV is like taking black spray paint to your 3rd eye [Re: Adom]
    #1565346 - 05/21/03 11:56 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

* By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. Thank you, thank you. Just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day they'll take root. I don't know. You try. You do what you can. Kill yourselves. Seriously though, if you are, do. No really, there's no rationalisation for what you do, and you are Satan's little helpers, OK? Kill yourselves, seriously. You're the ruiner of all things good. Seriously, no, this is not a joke. "There's gonna be a joke coming..." There's no fucking joke coming, you are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage, you are fucked and you are fucking us, kill yourselves, it's the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show.

* I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, "Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we'll never age, we'll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them." And Eve said, "Yeah... it's just not enough is it?"

* I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.

* Fundamentalist Christianity - fascinating. These people actually believe that the the world is 12,000 years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them.

"Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years."

Well how fucking scientific, okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble. That's good. You believe the world's 12,000 years old?

"That's right."

Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?

"Uh-huh."

Dinosaurs.

You know the world is 12,000 years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point.

"And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big fucking lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend.

"And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O so many years inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat fucking families and their fat dollar bills.

"And oh Scotland did praise the Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord. Thank you Lord."

* I'm so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries, then we go and blow the shit out of them. We're like the bullies of the world, y'know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheepherder's feet.

"Pick it up."

"I don't wanna pick it up, Mister, you'll shoot me."

"Pick up the gun."

"Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister."

"Pick up the gun."

(He picks it up. Three shots ring out.)

"You all saw him - he had a gun."

* People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction.

* Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.

* I was in Nashville, Tennesee last year. After the show I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, I was hungry. And I'm alone, I'm eating and I'm reading a book, right? Waitress walks over to me: "<smack smack smack smack> Hey, whatchoo readin' for?"

Isn't that the weirdest fucking question you've ever heard? Not what am I readING, but what am I reading *for*? Well, godammit, ya stumped me! Why do I read? Well... hmmm... I dunno... I guess I read for a lot of reasons, and the main one is so I don't end up being a fucking waffle waitress.


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OfflineSuperSpun
Not quite surewhat happened

Registered: 03/10/03
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Re: Watching TV is like taking black spray paint to your 3rd eye [Re: Adom]
    #1565428 - 05/21/03 12:32 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

My third eye is broken.


--------------------

Not quite sure what happened


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OfflineAislingGheal
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Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Adom]
    #1566691 - 05/21/03 07:05 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)


"Standup comedian Bill Hicks died somewhat prematurely, in early 1994, of pancreatic cancer. As he neared his final days, he read Huckleberry Finn, worked on his book, and tried to get his father to take mushrooms." - Anton Warner

"Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmmm . . . sounds like every commercial on TV doesn't it?"

"If the FBI's motivating factor for busting down the Koresh compound was child abuse, how come we never see Bradley tanks smashing into Catholic churches?"

"One of my big fears in life is that I'm going to die and my parents are going to have to clear out my apartment and find the porno wing I've been adding to for years. There'll be two funerals that day."

"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to look at a fucking cross? It's kinda like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on." - Bill Hicks

The HateCamel turned me on to Bill Hicks about three months ago, I went and bought Rant In E-Minor and Arizona Bay, I plan on getting more of his cds soon, he's (was) great, too bad he died so young.


--------------------

"I hate having to pick between the lesser of two evils. But I'm glad Obama was elected. McCain was another war monger. I'd rather deal with our country going into debt than trying to take on afghanistan...oh wait FUCK!" - Fungus_tao


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OfflineLearyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!
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Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Adom]
    #1566880 - 05/21/03 08:17 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

On magic mushrooms.............


"I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going 'my God, I love everything'.

The heavens parted. God looked down and rained down gifts of forgiveness
onto my being, healing me on every level, psychically, physically, emotionally.

And I realized that our true nature is spirit not body, that we are eternal
beings that God's love is unconditional. There is nothing that we can ever do
to change that.

It is only our illusion that we are separate from God or that we are alone. In
fact, the reality is, we are one with God and he loves us.

Now if that isn't a hazard to this country?

How are we going to keep building nuclear weapons?

What's going to happen to the arms industry if we realized that we're all ONE?

HAHAHAHA. It's going to fuck up the economy. The economy that's fake
anyway. Which would be a real bummer.

You can see why the government is cracking down on the idea of experiencing
unconditional love."




--------------------
--------------------------------


Mp3 of the month: BLC - I Don't Wanna Go



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OfflineMojo_Risin
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Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Learyfan]
    #1567009 - 05/21/03 09:15 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

only if we could figure out how to get LSD to rain from the sky : )...


--------------------
Fear    attracts  energy  that can expose one to be coerced. Learn to overcome fear and develop enlightenment.


Freedom Equality Justice (3 of 12 Jewels of Life)

Nov.11th Veterans Ron Paul Moneybomb...www.Ronpaul2012.com

Check out campaignforliberty.com


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OfflineLearyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!
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Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Mojo_Risin]
    #1567078 - 05/21/03 09:37 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

I'm working on that Mojo.




--------------------
--------------------------------


Mp3 of the month: BLC - I Don't Wanna Go



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OfflineSheepish
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Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Adom]
    #1567837 - 05/22/03 01:24 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

I love the guy, great sense of humour.

"I've seen a lot of weird shit on drugs, but I've never ever ever looked at an egg, and saw a fucking brain, not once (referring to the This Is Your Brain On Drugs frying egg ad)"

"I've had some bad times on drugs too! Look at this haircut..."

"There's always this one guy in your group that wants to do something to enhance your trip, you know what I mean? 'Hey dude, you're tripping? You gotta play minature golf!' 'Hehehe, that's just what I was thinking man, I'm sitting here watching Jesus fly around on a Unicorn, but yeah, that's just the thing to make my trip...peak... *heavy breathing* So, you guys can use your legs, right? No, it's just that I'm turning into a fish right now, how about I meet you guys there later.'
We got pulled over tripping one night, not a pleasant thing...coooops don't appreciate fish driving around..they frown on that.. The cop's tapping on this window, and we're staring at him in this mirror... 'That's a cute lil cop, how tall are you? Let's catch him and put him in a jar!' *cop taps on the window* 'Sir, can you step out of the car please...' 'I think they found the driver...' 'We don't need a driver, we're playing minature golf!'



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OfflineMurex
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Registered: 07/28/02
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Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Sheepish]
    #1568189 - 05/22/03 03:38 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)


" I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth- I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day. Sorry. Now, where's my commercial? Why don't I get a commercial? Why is it always that other guy that gets the commercial? " I knew we were in trouble with that damn egg commercial, that guy. I knew that was the government's take on drugs, we're fucked, you know. "Here's your brain." I've seen a lot of weird shit on drugs, I have never ever ever ever ever looked at an egg and thought it was a fucking brain, not once, all right? I have seen UFO's split the sky like a sheet, but I have never ever ever looked at an egg and thought it was a fucking brain, not once. I have had seven balls of light come off of a UFO, lead me onto their ship, explain to me telepathically that we are all one and there is no such thing as death, but I have never ever ever ever ever looked at an egg, and thought it was a fucking brain. Now. Maybe I wasn't getting good shit. I admit it, I see that commercial, I feel cheated. Hey, where's the stuff that makes eggs look like brains? That sounds neat. Did I quit too soon? What is that, CIA stash? You see the guy in that commercial, that guy's got a beer gut- "All right, this is it. Look up, man. This is your brain. I ain't doing this again. That's your - " The guy's drunk and doing this fucking commercial. "Here's your brain." That's an egg! That's a frying pan, that's a stove, you're an alcoholic, dude, I'm tripping right now, and I still see that is a fucking egg, all right? How dare you have a wino tell me not to do drugs. (From the audience) "Why did you quit?" Why did I quit? Because after you've been taken aboard a UFO, it's kind of hard to top that, all right. They have Alcoholics Anonymous, they don't have Alien Anonymous. I tell you what, though, going to AA meetings, which I have to do, but going there and hearing people talking about their fucking booze stories, you know. "You know, I love the taste of gin, it's so good, tastes-" Fuck you, I've been on a UFO, fuck off! I went drinking with aliens, you fucker, shut up! "I lost my wife-" I lost an alien culture who wanted to take me to the planet Arcturus, fuck you! I mean, I don't know if I've got the resentment, you know, forgiveness part down in the book, but... (singing) "One day at a time . . ." I just cannot, you know, believe in a war against drugs when they've got anti-drug commercials on l day long, followed by, "This Bud's for you." I got news for you, folks. A-1, alcohol is a drug, and B-2, and here's the real one, alcohol kills more people than all drugs combined each year. So, thanks for inviting me to your little alcoholic/drug den here tonight. You fine, upstanding citizens, you, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Now. You know what, if I was going to have a drug be legal, it would not be alcohol, you know why? There's better drugs and better drugs for you. That's a fact, so you can stop your internal dialogue. Wait a minute, Bill, alcohol is an accepted form of social interaction which for thousands of years has been the norm under which human beings have congregated in the form of social events and... Shut the fuck up. Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you."


--------------------
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?



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OfflineSheepish
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Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Murex]
    #1568639 - 05/22/03 09:42 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

That, by far, is my favourite rant of his.


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OfflineDiscordja
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Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Sheepish]
    #1568679 - 05/22/03 10:17 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

"George Bush says 'we are losing the war on drugs'. Well you know what that implies? There's a war going on, and people on drugs are winning it! Well what does that tell you about drugs? Some smart, creative motherfuckers on that side."


--------------------
Remember, it's only true if it makes you laugh...


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Invisiblestrang

Registered: 04/23/01
Posts: 671
Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Discordja]
    #1568747 - 05/22/03 11:19 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

my sig


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Invisiblestrang

Registered: 04/23/01
Posts: 671
Re: Bill Hicks [Re: strang]
    #1568752 - 05/22/03 11:21 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said, "There is my creation, perfect in every way . . . oh, dammit I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. . . . Now I have to create republicans."
~ Bill Hicks

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
~ Bill Hicks, (1988).

I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . . Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You're dead too.
~ Bill Hicks

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.
~ Bill Hicks

They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the f*cking effort. There is a difference.
~ Bill Hicks

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is mearly energy condensed through a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, life is only a dream and we are the imaginations of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.
~ Bill Hicks

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?
~ Bill Hicks

taken from http://www.allthingswilliam.com/drugs.html


Edited by strang (05/22/03 11:26 AM)


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InvisibleHermes_br
~~~
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Registered: 04/24/01
Posts: 546
Re: Bill Hicks [Re: strang]
    #1568782 - 05/22/03 11:36 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

please keep them coming...

this guy is great  :grin: 


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Invisiblestrang

Registered: 04/23/01
Posts: 671
Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Hermes_br]
    #1569023 - 05/22/03 01:47 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

some more quotes>>>>> http://www.konformist.com/2001/hicks.htm
his website>>> http://www.billhicks.com/

he really is one cool son of a bitch....


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
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Posts: 27,301
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Re: Bill Hicks [Re: strang]
    #1569051 - 05/22/03 01:56 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

I liked this one:

"People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction."

And this one:

"I have never seen two people on pot get in a fight because it is fucking IMPOSSIBLE. "Hey, buddy!" "Hey, what?" "Ummmmmmm...." End of argument."

And this one:

"We gotta come to some new ideas about life folks ok? I'm not being blase about abortion, it might be a real issue, it might not, doesn't matter to me. What matters is that if you believe in the sanctity of life then you believe it for life of all ages. That's what I hate about this child-worship syndrome going on. "Save the children! They're killing children! How many children were at Waco? They're killing children!" What does that mean? They reach a certain age and they're off your fucking love-list? Fuck your children, if that's the way you think then fuck you too. You either love all people of all ages or you shut the fuck up."


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


Edited by silversoul7 (05/22/03 02:01 PM)


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Invisiblestrang

Registered: 04/23/01
Posts: 671
Re: Bill Hicks [Re: silversoul7]
    #1569095 - 05/22/03 02:09 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

i like :
The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That's pretty fucking cruel isn't it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too?

and

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free


Edited by strang (05/22/03 02:13 PM)


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
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Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Bill Hicks [Re: strang]
    #1569110 - 05/22/03 02:13 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it -- and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist -- is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field, and just go, "Show me."


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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InvisibleHermes_br
~~~
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Registered: 04/24/01
Posts: 546
Re: Bill Hicks [Re: strang]
    #1569132 - 05/22/03 02:22 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

thanks, I'll check those sites later ...

how did he die anyways ? cancer ?


Edited by Hermes_br (05/22/03 02:25 PM)


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Invisiblestrang

Registered: 04/23/01
Posts: 671
Re: Bill Hicks [Re: Hermes_br]
    #1569194 - 05/22/03 02:46 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Mid-June 1993, Bill Hicks was diagnosed as having terminal Pancreatic cancer

He began treatment, telling only Colleen and his family. He went into creative over-drive. He finished his 4th album "Arizona Bay" and moved to Palm Beach to be with Colleen
He gave away everything he owned to people he knew, keeping only the 1st car he ever bought.

In Jan 1994 Bill moved back home and into his old room.
He convinced his mother to listen to The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix, burned incense and explained The Tibetan Book Of The Dead.
He convinced his dad to take Mushrooms with him.
He phoned everyone he was ever friends with, and said goodbye.

On Valentines Day 1994, he phoned Laurie Mango and wished her well and said his goodbyes to her.

"That's all I have to say" he told his family and did not utter a single word after that.

He died 2 weeks later on February 26 1994.

from>>>>>>> http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/9552/billfront.html


Edited by strang (05/22/03 02:47 PM)


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