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Anonymous #1
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I am so hungry, how do I prepare cat? 1
#15645422 - 01/10/12 02:47 PM (12 years, 20 days ago) |
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I have no money. I have been living off of 50cent snacks from the convenience store for two weeks, the clerk looks at me with pitty as I search for the cheapest source of food. I speak loud and strong to hide how weak I feel but she knows I am desperate because last week I paid with quarters , today I paid with dimes. I am forced to walk by the pub on my way home from the store. I can see people eating meat, I can even smell the food, like a dog waiting by the kitchen table. what I wouldn't give for a source of protien right now. My cat looks fat, fed well. Maybe it is time to tap into my animalistic instincts. I wonder how much meat is on a cat. I still have ketchup in the fridge.
Edited by Anonymous (01/10/12 02:53 PM)
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Anonymous #2
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Haha eat the cat hurry!
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Anonymous #3
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Anonymous #2
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I'll ask my Chinese friend how he does it, hold on.
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Anonymous #1
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Would I get in trouble if I posted pics of me killing, skinning and eating my cat?
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Anonymous #2
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Not if it's sexy enough.
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Anonymous #1
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how is it gonna be sexy? I will have to take her out back to gut her and skin her. I would imagine that Id have to remove her head.
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Anonymous #2
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Make the cat wear a dress then do it.
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Anonymous #1
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I am glad you guys think this is funny
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Anonymous #2
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I'm sure the cat will think its funny when you mutilate it in a dress.
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Anonymous #1
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So you dont believe me? Then you have never been this hungry. I feel so weak. like a junky needed his fix
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Anonymous #2
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Get into the dumpster at McDonald's.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: Get into the dumpster at McDonald's.
If they throw it away its not edible.
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Anonymous #2
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Beggars can't be choosers. Especially if they resort to eating our feline friends.
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Anonymous #4
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Go mushroom hunting. Live off nature's resources.
You're on the internet, so I don't see the harm in doing some research.
Go fishing. All you need is a line and a worm.
Only the smart survive.
Hope things get better soon OP
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Anonymous #5
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Work your skills buddy, go out and find some dick to suck for some quick cash! Oh, and while your at it don't take this message seriously, I'm just fucking with you!
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Anonymous #1
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middle of winter here, freezing
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Anonymous #6
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Besides sounding like a troll because you said nothing about eating whatever keeps your kitty fat, I've got some advice for you.
Like another said, dumpster diving can score you some good finds, though I'd suggest doing it at a grocery store, since McDonald's is already not edible.
If your too good for that, better start sucking some dick.
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Anonymous #7
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Try eating baby. Its much tastier.
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Anonymous #4
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OP, Dunkin Donuts throw out there shelf food every 12 hours. They are usually in there own bag.
Normal loot: Donuts of course. Good loot: Cressant rolls and danishes!
I know this because I used to work at one. Just hope they don't come out yellin at ya. Usually at 2 in the morning when they throw it out, the night shift person doesn't give a fuck.
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Anonymous #8
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Just walk into a cafe, order a meal eat it then quickly leave. You would be suprised how little min wage staff care about you just walking off. They don't get paid enough to deal with shit like that.
Bigger the cafe the better.
Another option is to simply walk around outside a large supermarket. You can usually swipe bags from people loading their car, or just find receipts on the ground/bin. With the receipt, make sure it is the right date and then go round and fill a trolley up with exactly the same shit. Walk through the register, show them the receipt and say 'I forgot to buy this single lemon'. Pay 10 cents for the lemon and walk out. Make sure this is done in a really big and busy supermarket, no one will give a shit. Again, they don't get paid enough to bother with confrontation.
Also if you are going to eat your cat, here is a little recipe I found on the internet for you:
Brown Rice Kitten Cassarole
There is notthing tastier than kitten meat. Properly cooked, it tastes like a cross between chicken and cornish game hen. For true kitten meat connosiers, there is nothing better than kitten meat from kittens that were skinned alive. My six and eight year old just love it, and not only that, but I get them to help by holding the kittens as I remove their fur just prior to slitting their little throats (the kittens, not my kids:) We can hardly wait as each new littler is born to be able to make this tasty meal. And, by the way, the meat from newly-born kittens makes for great hors d'oeuvres if you're having any kind of get together, though plan ahead and freeze the kitten meat so you have at least four or five litters worth.
Ingredients 2 (10.75 ounce) cans condensed cream of asparagus soup 10 3/4 fluid ounces milk 1 1/2 cups water 1 pound chopped cooked kittens (use 6 kittens for a family of four) 1 cup uncooked brown rice 2 (14.5 ounce) cans French cut green beans 1 1/2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese 1 cup chopped onion 3 cloves garlic, crushed 1 tablespoon dried parsley 1 1/2 teaspoons dried basil 1 teaspoon dried dill weed salt and pepper to taste
Directions Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Lightly grease a medium casserole dish. In a large bowl, mix the soup, milk, water, chicken, rice, green beans, cheddar cheese, onion, and garlic. Season with parsley, basil, dill, salt, and pepper. Transfer to the prepared casserole dish. Bake 1 1/2 hours in the preheated oven, until rice is tender. If water is absorbed too quickly, add more as needed.
Serving Suggestion Brighten your plates with kitten paws and tails. Use them to garnish the meal like parsley.
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Anonymous #9
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Get some 15 dollar protein mix and scrap metal
At least u have a bed
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Anonymous #1
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I might have to resort to food stamps, I really don't want to but I heard you just walk in and tell them your situation and you walk out with a $250 food card, I can eat like a king with that. I just feel like such a loser. anyone ever have to take welfare?
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Anonymous #8
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I was homeless during my teenage years and used to go to charities to be fed soup, get fed bread and other petty shit. I didn't really give a fuck about dignity or whatever, just wanted to eat. I am not American so foodstamps were not available.
Stop being a dickhead and go get some foodstamps.
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Anonymous #4
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My brother used to claim food stamps to help the familly out. I remember buying lobster with it lmao.
No one is going to judge finincial aid. Unless..... REPUBLCAN
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Anonymous #1
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yah dude, I really should for health reasons too, I gave everything I had at my job for years and got laid off for no damn reason and my unemployment is taking over a month so far to get. The state is the one holding up my funds then I shouldnt feel bad making the state buy me dinner
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Anonymous #10
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No, you shouldn't feel bad about that. You're just trying to survive in a system they created.
real talk
Good luck.
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Anonymous #11
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OP if you are serious about being hungry, I am sorry, I know how you feel I have been there.. but eating your cat.. seriously?
Anyways, hope it all works out for you, if this was just a joke. then thats sad, and you need to get a life.
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Anonymous #2
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I think he's trollin'.
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Anonymous #12
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dont kill your only friend you sick fuck. what did he do to you except give u endless love and companionship?
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Anonymous #13
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Eat that pussy!
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Anonymous #14
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Yeah bakerys are pretty good. In highschool we would raid there dumpsters and take the bags of day old bread. Better than the shit in the grocery store!
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Anonymous #15
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de-skin and just rotisserie that feline over a open fire turning it while it cooks adding bbq sauce or w/e
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Anonymous #16
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You could get locked up, its not that hard if you try.
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Anonymous #17
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wtf happened to moderating shroom anon? they were bitches for a while and now this shit is getting by lol
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Anonymous #18
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I love the idea of eating your cat. If it wasn't illegal, I would send you money to see you do it. I fucking hate cats. Ungrateful fucks belong outside.
For your problem tho, I can share some experience from the road. Dumpster diving requires no diving into dumpsters. Wait behind a fast food joint for no more than an hour to find some kid walking out to the dumpster with a bag of food. It will still be wrapped, and perfectly fine to eat. They have to toss food after too long under the lamps. Just be polite and it sounds like you have no problem looking pitiful. Go to the busiest place you can find.
Just avoid looking scary/dirty/crazy, and walk off at any sign of trouble.
Then move to a CITY with a food bank/church/shul/friends! Get the fuck out of the suburbs!
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Anonymous #19
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: I might have to resort to food stamps, I really don't want to but I heard you just walk in and tell them your situation and you walk out with a $250 food card, I can eat like a king with that. I just feel like such a loser. anyone ever have to take welfare?
There is no shame in that.
But you have to understand the point of them givng you free food.
They dont give you free food so you can go eat for 1 months and become poor again after your run out of money.
They give you food stamps and other things so you can pick yourself up, find a job, and start a living for yourself.
If you sit down with them and be honest I am sure they will give you even enough for rent until you find a job and get paid.
Use it wisely though. Dont waste time.
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Anonymous #20
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Skin,em put it in the oven with bbq sauce!!
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Anonymous #21
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Have sex with the cat and make humanoid kittens, then eat the deformed creatures and keep having sex with the cat!
They pop out 3-7 in a litter, should give you some meat in between eating cup-o-roman
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Anonymous #22
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All i can say is homless shelters soup shelters food stamps get the goverment to help you if you can beg, steal sell drugs beg people eat out of the garbage but dont kill something you owned man i wouls starve before i ate my dog do whatever you can and god bless
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Anonymous #23
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Re: I am so hungry, how do I prepare cat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15723900 - 01/27/12 06:10 AM (12 years, 4 days ago) |
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how can you afford internet or the device to post on the internet, if you cant get more than a few dimes together for food. how is your cat 'well fed' if you can't afford more than 50 cents in food a day? why haven't you eaten the cat food?
obvious troll is obvious
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Anonymous #24
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Re: I am so hungry, how do I prepare cat? [Re: Anonymous #23]
#15723933 - 01/27/12 06:39 AM (12 years, 4 days ago) |
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Tah-ROOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL
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Anonymous #25
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gummo
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Anonymous #21
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Quote:
Anonymous #21 said: Have sex with the cat and make humanoid kittens, then eat the deformed creatures and keep having sex with the cat!
They pop out 3-7 in a litter, should give you some meat in between eating cup-o-roman 
DUDE!! just fuck ur cat!                                                     
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Anonymous #23
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he could also fap and eat his own cum as a free source of protein that wouldn't involve killing his well fed pet.
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Anonymous #21
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I'm not a big fan of the taste of my own cum... 
He can have mine though
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Anonymous #26
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I don't see what everyone has against eating cats and dogs. They are animals just like chickens, cows, and pigs.
Slit its throat with a knife or chop its head off with a hatchet, machete, or axe.
Skin and gut it. Then build a fire, skewer it on a stick and roast it slowly. Easy.
I have personally never eaten a cat, but I have eaten squirrels and mice. Anything tastes good if you are hungry enough.
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Anonymous #21
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Quote:
Anonymous #26 said: I don't see what everyone has against eating cats and dogs. They are animals just like chickens, cows, and pigs.
Slit its throat with a knife or chop its head off with a hatchet, machete, or axe.
Skin and gut it. Then build a fire, skewer it on a stick and roast it slowly. Easy.
I have personally never eaten a cat, but I have eaten squirrels and mice. Anything tastes good if you are hungry enough.
Which is why I eat out ur momma every night
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