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Anonymous #1

sexual frustration
    #15570180 - 12/25/11 10:20 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Im a male. Almost 31 now and sexually frustrated. Married for 8yrs and have been with the same girl for 12 yrs this jan. Recently i had a one night stand with a random chick. She was hot, almost 10 yrs younger than me and said she wanted it.(told her the truth about my situation beforehand)It was the first time i have ever cheated.

Now im just frustrated with my current situation. Married/w kid. Not to say i don't love my child or my wife. But  feeling like i could date again and find somebody else. And still be a good father even if i don't have my current spouse.

More and more frequently i find myself checking out chicks and letting it occupy my entire day.
When i was into drugs/weed that was what i thought about. But since i kind of dropped them both. Now i stand here. Which is is increasingly difficult.

IDK where im going with this. Needed to tell someone. Opinions are welcome


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Anonymous #2

Re: sexual frustration [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15570199 - 12/25/11 10:29 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

It seems you are looking for approval of what you've already done. Marriage takes sacrifice and sleeping around with other women is a perfect example. If you've already cheated and are perfectly ok with it than it may be too late. Just make sure you think about your child when all is said and done. Merry Christmas.


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OfflineXUL
OTD Janitor
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Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
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Re: sexual frustration [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #15571363 - 12/25/11 06:09 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Cheating doesnt seem like a good choice but you can still salvage what you have.

Why dont you just get kinky with your wifey? Try some new hottt shit that you never tried before. Something dirty.


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Anonymous #1

Re: sexual frustration [Re: XUL]
    #15573750 - 12/26/11 10:47 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks for the replys.

I know there are sacrifices in marriage as well as rewards. And sex is not a real big issue. Meaning we have sex at least once a week. Its good.

We've been together so long now its kind of like were siblings. Ive built my life around her and honestly i would be a little lost without her.

Its just that feeling when you have a spark with a new person that i may be wanting. Like a surge of lust goes thru your body.

My cousin recently got a divorce and his wife basicly kicked him out on the street. Funny thing was she was cheating..crazy. This made me feel kind of helpless/trapped in my current situation . Because if something did happen, i would have no where to go.

Trying to save enough money just in case something happens or the option to go if i need.

Sorry to lay it on you guys...but therapist aren't cheap


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OfflineBlack_Sunset
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Registered: 11/16/08
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Re: sexual frustration [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15574062 - 12/26/11 12:05 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I'm not much for this kind of advice but perhaps you could plan a vacation or a dinner, you know something different and out of the ordinary for you and your wife. Get a babysitter, take her on a fun date, then go to dinner, even hit a lounge or go dancing afterwards. This seems like an easy way to invite sparks and lust into the relationship

Could just be you guys are stuck in a routine you don't enjoy, that's why you're fantasizing about other things to do with your life.


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Invisiblecateyes
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Registered: 12/16/03
Posts: 2,754
Re: sexual frustration [Re: Black_Sunset]
    #15575299 - 12/26/11 06:17 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Black_Sunset said:
I'm not much for this kind of advice but perhaps you could plan a vacation or a dinner, you know something different and out of the ordinary for you and your wife. Get a babysitter, take her on a fun date, then go to dinner, even hit a lounge or go dancing afterwards. This seems like an easy way to invite sparks and lust into the relationship

Could just be you guys are stuck in a routine you don't enjoy, that's why you're fantasizing about other things to do with your life.




:aweyeah:

Kensho :psychsplit:


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OfflinelillFish
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Registered: 01/18/09
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Re: sexual frustration [Re: cateyes]
    #15578144 - 12/27/11 01:08 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

sounds like a relationship with your wife isn't really what you want. Don't think you should even try to salvage anything either. Maybe you do love her, but she's obviously not important enough. I guess that's what happens when you get married and have a kid so young.


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OfflinePacmanpth
Stranger


Registered: 01/29/11
Posts: 583
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: sexual frustration [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15580411 - 12/27/11 09:06 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
We've been together so long now its kind of like were siblings. Ive built my life around her and honestly i would be a little lost without her.

Its just that feeling when you have a spark with a new person that i may be wanting. Like a surge of lust goes thru your body.






From what I've noticed, the sparks come less from a new person, and more from being less predictable.  People lose their intrigue when you see their routine every day, there needs to be some mystery surrounding a person for the spark to remain in a long term relationship.  Personal transformation also helps.  Your spouse may be inspired to make some significant changes to transform herself into someone you may be much more attracted to, if you do the same (saying this without any knowledge of you, but pretty much everyone, in my opinion, has lots of potential/room for improvement).


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