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 adasafa
Stranger
Registered: 06/19/02
Posts: 124
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
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 What to do? 
#1555178 - 05/16/03 10:16 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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Background story: I am a Junior in high school. I have a 1 1/2 year relationship with a sophmore girl. We have spent a lot of time together, hanging out, sex, etc. I have strong feelings for her and she makes me feel good. Thing is, she loves me more than i love her. She thinks i am the one for her, but i am not so sure. She is my first, as i am her first serious relationship.
Problem: After i graduate and go to college, i want to break up with her (but remain friends) to see if there are any other women that will make me happier. But she wants to remain a couple. She also says that if i am going to break up with her in the end, why should she invest more time in the relationship.
i hope some of you more knowledgeable folks will be able to help me out in this life making decision.
Thanks!
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Anonymous #1
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 Re: What to do? [Re: adasafa]
#1556174 - 05/17/03 12:40 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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- Post History Deleted Upon User's Request -
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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness
Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: What to do? [Re: ]
#1556494 - 05/17/03 04:04 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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Hey adasafa,
I think the key here is not to ask whether there is someone else who will "make u happier" but rather why is there a need for u to "be happier"... are u not happy enough ? are u seeking fullfilment in another person ? what would be "happy enough" ? u're quite young so these questions may seem strange to u and u may/may not have considered them yet. Life is a process of self discovery. Perhaps u should explain to your girlfriend that you need time to learn more about yourself and who u are before u can make a commitment to her. Sounds like u care about her, so tell her that u do. Remember, it's not that u want to explore other women (although u think u do), it's that u want to explore yourself. Once you have a better understanding of that not only can u be more committed to a relationship, but also make it a more enriching experience. Nothing in life is garunteed and we all have to make choices and live with em (and put up with the constant "I told u so" nagging of our friends and relatives who always claim to know best ;-). But that's ok and our choices arn't necessarilly "bad" or "wrong". Just be mindful of hurting others and getting hurt yourself. Sometimes we end up hurting others as a concequence of our decisions - it's inevitable. The important thing is intent. One should not conciously intend to hurt another and one should be careful and mindful of ones actions...
btw, She should invest more time in the relationship to see how u develop as a person as well as herself (and trust me u will develop ;-).
DISCLAIMER: I'm divorced and single :-o, I was together with my ex for 7 years, but the imporant thing is that I have no regrets about it (and I'm being honest here - that's the good thing about the net, easy to be honest when u're anonymous). I wouldn't change a single minute of that period of my life (wish I could say the same about the last 4 months of my life tho - but that's another story).
Best of luck !!
--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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adasafa
Stranger
Registered: 06/19/02
Posts: 124
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
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Re: What to do? [Re: lucid]
#1557187 - 05/18/03 12:02 AM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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thanks a lot for you responses. Serious thinking is in hand for me.
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DailyPot
Trip'n Time
Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 2,207
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
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Re: What to do? [Re: adasafa]
#1557572 - 05/18/03 10:00 AM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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You told her already? Ah! Lots coulda changed in the next year or two, theres a decent chance you would've broken up naturally!
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