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 BothHands
Dog Coffee
 
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc: 
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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 So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today  4
#15545941 - 12/20/11 03:42 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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He came by my house trying to sell me magazines. We talked for about 5 minutes before we came to the topic of magazines, and I made it clear I didn't have the money to buy any. He kept talking though, apparently he only had 10 minutes of his shift left, and was trying to kill time. Eventually asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner with him. I told him no, and he asked me why. I told him I was gay. He took this opportunity to sit on the chair on my front porch, and ask some more questions. So I asked him if he wanted to smoke a bowl. He said SURE, and we got baked as FUCK. Now he's stoned out of his mind and wondering our neighborhood. 
Anyone have similar stories to share?
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
Edited by BothHands (12/20/11 03:42 PM)
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Pscientist
KushKaptain
Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 2,685
Loc: Sirius X1
Last seen: 15 days, 5 hours
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15545970 - 12/20/11 03:45 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Are you gay or were you just not interested?
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Any information posted on this website from this account is hypothetical and only to be used for legal purposes. 
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Pscientist]
#15546003 - 12/20/11 03:50 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Both.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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 ArtieFartie
Mind Manipulator
Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 2,519
Loc: A Psychedelic Realm
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546031 - 12/20/11 03:54 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Awesome.
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: ArtieFartie]
#15546083 - 12/20/11 04:03 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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No other stories? Doesn't have to be a door-to-door salesman, could be a Jehovah's Witness, or something.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Rexter
Tripper
Registered: 05/03/09
Posts: 10,047
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546094 - 12/20/11 04:05 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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If you can put a witness with weed in the same story with it being a totally awsome story then why not?
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new trade list
my own WCA V: I
"Ha! Marshall you're so funny man You should be a comedian, god damn!" Unfortunately I am I just hide behind the tears of a clown"
Meteloides said:
Stick to naturally occurring substances! Like Shrooms! And DMT! And Datura! And Amanita Phalloides! And Nutmeg! And Hemlock!
That'll expand the shit out of your DNA.
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Mush 4 Brains
about tree fiddy
Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 8,298
Loc: Tacos
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546107 - 12/20/11 04:07 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Actually ya, i have had something like this happen before. I was outside my house hanging out with a few friends on a nice summer day (years ago), when a guy and girl in their mid 20s walked up. They were pushing magazine subscriptions, which i told them i was not at all interested in. We just ended up bullshitting for a while until one of them brought up smoking, and asked if i could get anything. I said no (even though i could) because i felt the situation was a bit suspicious. But my friend said yes, went down the block and grabbed a quarter for them.
They claimed they made decent money for little work and got to fly all around the country/stay at hotels for free(i guess they only stayed in one spot for a few days before moving) I think they said something about having health insurance through the job as well. They both genuinely seemed to enjoy the job. I remember the guy left me a card and said something along the lines of-"When you figure out schools not for you, give this number a call."
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Flower Child
Stranger Danger
Registered: 12/18/11
Posts: 372
Loc: Somewhere by the bay 
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Mush 4 Brains]
#15546133 - 12/20/11 04:11 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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That's really epic.
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Once the game is over, the king and pawn go back in the same box.
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x Ju x
Aubergine Of The Sun
Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,511
Loc: Shpongleland, Canada
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546137 - 12/20/11 04:12 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I was actually thinking about smoking out someone today
A guy was in installing some new laminate flooring and I was the only one home. We were talking and he seemed pretty chill, and look to be around 30 or so.
I was debating whether or not I should ask him if he wanted to smoke a bowl, but I declined. I didn't know if it would come back on me somehow. In retrospect he probably would have appreciated to be a little stoned while laying laminate for 3 hours
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Edited by x Ju x (12/20/11 04:12 PM)
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: x Ju x]
#15546185 - 12/20/11 04:22 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I've actually smoked out some mexican roofers before as well. A bunch of my friends were smoking bowls and hookah on my back patio. I guess these guys just came off their lunch break, because suddenly there were like 20 of them up on the roof. I got a little paranoid for a minute, but they started cheering us on. So we offered them some, and two guys each took a hit.
It's the Christmas season, so I give when I can. I gave a 5$ bill to a charity on the side of the road this morning on the way to go shopping as well.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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NihilisticDelusion
Awake Awaken
Registered: 07/14/11
Posts: 2,042
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546206 - 12/20/11 04:26 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I was the salesman 
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danielx
whatup!
Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546218 - 12/20/11 04:27 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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good thing you didn't get victimized. I don't know where you live, but I don't answer the door to anyone I don't know.
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Long live kratom 
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realfuzzhead
Registered: 03/03/10
Posts: 10,783
Loc: above the smog layer
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546223 - 12/20/11 04:28 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
Both.
funny story both hands
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Haha, that'd be cool if you were.
Quote:
danielx said:
good thing you didn't get victimized. I don't know where you live, but I don't answer the door to anyone I don't know.
I do live in a ghetto neighborhood, but I had a rottweiler. He wasn't going to do anything funny. My rottie was licking his hands to see how he tasted if he decided to do anything dumb.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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NihilisticDelusion
Awake Awaken
Registered: 07/14/11
Posts: 2,042
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546247 - 12/20/11 04:33 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Nonetheless I wouldn't ask to smoke if I weren't 100% certain.
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Yeah, stupid Christmas cheer, making me be nice against my better judgement.
Was dangerous, you're right. But not much I can do about that now.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Pscientist] 4
#15546288 - 12/20/11 04:40 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Pscientist said:
Are you gay or were you just not interested?
crazy as it sounds, gay people tend not to be interested in the opposite sex
at least that's the rumor I heard
I also heard that all lesbians are cute and like to sit around outside doing
school work in their panties until their lesbian friend comes over with a bag
of dildos... but I suspect this one may just be Spielberg movie magic
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NihilisticDelusion
Awake Awaken
Registered: 07/14/11
Posts: 2,042
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546303 - 12/20/11 04:43 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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well we know both hands does it 'cuz she's cute and prolly owns panties and stuff
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546332 - 12/20/11 04:48 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
I also heard that all lesbians are cute and like to sit around outside doing
school work in their panties until their lesbian friend comes over with a bag
of dildos... but I suspect this one may just be Spielberg movie magic
On the contrary, that's 100% accurate and true to life.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546353 - 12/20/11 04:52 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
I also heard that all lesbians are cute and like to sit around outside doing
school work in their panties until their lesbian friend comes over with a bag
of dildos... but I suspect this one may just be Spielberg movie magic
On the contrary, that's 100% accurate and true to life.
I'm totally coming to visit now and guess what... I'm a card carrying
lesbian, I real life member of the Stage Actors Guild
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546391 - 12/20/11 05:00 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I don't know what that is. I might have to tear up my card. Still come over though. He wanted to take me out to Mc Donalds. x_x Maybe you can afford Denny's or something.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Bender B Rodriguez
The Greatest
Registered: 11/20/09
Posts: 550
Loc: Aurora, CO
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546406 - 12/20/11 05:02 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
He came by my house trying to sell me magazines. We talked for about 5 minutes before we came to the topic of magazines, and I made it clear I didn't have the money to buy any. He kept talking though, apparently he only had 10 minutes of his shift left, and was trying to kill time. Eventually asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner with him. I told him no, and he asked me why. I told him I was gay. He took this opportunity to sit on the chair on my front porch, and ask some more questions. So I asked him if he wanted to smoke a bowl. He said SURE, and we got baked as FUCK. Now he's stoned out of his mind and wondering our neighborhood.
Anyone have similar stories to share?
I have a relatable story.
About 3 years ago a Kirby vacuum salesmen came to my house and asked to do a demonstration of the vacuum. I didn't have anything to do that day so I let him in. He showed me the vacuum and we got to talking about other shit and smoking weed came up. He told me he smoked, so I smoked him up. He chilled for a minute, finished the demonstration and left.
The next day I went looking for my pipe and it was missing. I remembered that while the salesmen was here and we were smoking, he kept talking about how amazed he was by my pipe (about $130 pipe) and how much resin was in it. Then after we smoked, he kept asking to go to the kitchen to refill his glass of water, and that's where my pipe was at. After he refilled his cup a few times he was noticably in a rush to leave.
I realized that the damn vacuum salesmen stole my long-time favorite pipe after I smoked him up.
I even tried calling the place he worked a few times but I couldn't find him.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546416 - 12/20/11 05:04 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
I don't know what that is. I might have to tear up my card.
Quote:
Still come over though. He wanted to take me out to Mc Donalds. x_x Maybe you can afford Denny's or something.
I can afford better than denny's, I can afford places that serve stuff not from deep fryers
in actuality, I'm a damned good cook
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Rexter
Tripper
Registered: 05/03/09
Posts: 10,047
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546435 - 12/20/11 05:07 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Prison food by a prisoner 
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new trade list
my own WCA V: I
"Ha! Marshall you're so funny man You should be a comedian, god damn!" Unfortunately I am I just hide behind the tears of a clown"
Meteloides said:
Stick to naturally occurring substances! Like Shrooms! And DMT! And Datura! And Amanita Phalloides! And Nutmeg! And Hemlock!
That'll expand the shit out of your DNA.
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x Ju x
Aubergine Of The Sun
Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,511
Loc: Shpongleland, Canada
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546446 - 12/20/11 05:10 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I can cook a goof stir fry, but that's about the extent of my cuisine credentials.
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546449 - 12/20/11 05:10 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Wow, that's fucked. This guy also seemed like he was in a bit of a rush to leave, but I think that's because he was a little too stoned for his liking. This stuff is killer. I did check the area that he was at though, and everything that would have been convenient from him to steal is still here.
Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
BothHands said:
I don't know what that is. I might have to tear up my card.
Oh, haha
Quote:
Quote:
Still come over though. He wanted to take me out to Mc Donalds. x_x Maybe you can afford Denny's or something.
I can afford better than denny's, I can afford places that serve stuff not from deep fryers
in actuality, I'm a damned good cook
Hahaha, it was a joke, I'm sure you can afford real food. Wasn't going to ask you to come down here and take me to a black tie restaurant though.  I think my mind would melt all over the sidewalk if I saw you in a tux anyway.
But if you've got any vegetarian recipies, you better cook for me!
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Soluminia
The mind is god
Registered: 03/18/11
Posts: 3,978
Loc: CO
Last seen: 3 days, 21 hours
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Rexter]
#15546458 - 12/20/11 05:11 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I was out walking on some trails with a few friends while tripping. Some jogger came by while we were smoking a bowl and we jokingly asked if he wanted to toke. 3 bowl later and this guy is high as fuck he told us he hadn't smoked for about 3 years.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Rexter]
#15546474 - 12/20/11 05:15 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rexter said:
Prison food by a prisoner
I make the best damned peanut butter and roofing tar sammich you ever had
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shLong
Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Soluminia]
#15546482 - 12/20/11 05:17 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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We used to order pizzas at a buddy's house and we got about 4-5 different dudes to come smoke with us over the years.
Bender, are you fucking kidding me? I would've been all over the local Kirby outfit waiting for that fucker.
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shLong
Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: shLong]
#15546485 - 12/20/11 05:18 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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that was their 'tip'
one guy couldnt smoke with us, so we bagged up a nickle for him and sent him on his merry way
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546495 - 12/20/11 05:20 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
I think my mind would melt all over the sidewalk if I saw you in a tux anyway.
But if you've got any vegetarian recipies, you better cook for me!
I have a steak recipe for vegetarians
believe it or not, I own my own tux... it's like this one
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XUL
OTD Janitor
Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546497 - 12/20/11 05:20 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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My first time in the bronx I was wondering around getting wasted and talking to street people. I sat down next to some guy and started talking. He reached in his coat pocket! He pulled out a bible and started telling me how lucky he was to have found God. I agreed and then we proceeded to go to the bar and drink beer.
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TRUMP 2020
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: XUL]
#15546504 - 12/20/11 05:22 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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cathoholics, FTW!
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shLong
Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546513 - 12/20/11 05:24 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
I have a steak recipe for vegetarians
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Rexter
Tripper
Registered: 05/03/09
Posts: 10,047
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546518 - 12/20/11 05:26 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
Rexter said:
Prison food by a prisoner
I make the best damned peanut butter and roofing tar sammich you ever had
With razors and nails too
--------------------
new trade list
my own WCA V: I
"Ha! Marshall you're so funny man You should be a comedian, god damn!" Unfortunately I am I just hide behind the tears of a clown"
Meteloides said:
Stick to naturally occurring substances! Like Shrooms! And DMT! And Datura! And Amanita Phalloides! And Nutmeg! And Hemlock!
That'll expand the shit out of your DNA.
|
Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Rexter]
#15546542 - 12/20/11 05:32 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rexter said:
Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
Rexter said:
Prison food by a prisoner
I make the best damned peanut butter and roofing tar sammich you ever had
With razors and nails too
no way jose... that's strictly reserved for halloween candy
sammiches get arsenic
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546547 - 12/20/11 05:33 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I've never smoked out a Pizza delivery man before, but I've thought about it on several occasions.
Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
I have a steak recipe for vegetarians
believe it or not, I own my own tux... it's like this one
Haha, how does that work?
You have any pics of you wearing said tux?
--------------------
Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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shLong
Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546556 - 12/20/11 05:35 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Pris has been here long enough, he knows the 'pics or it didnt happen' rule.
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shadowplay
Registered: 05/15/10
Posts: 1,337
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546558 - 12/20/11 05:35 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I had a friend who was selling magazines for a while in colorado, and he said it was pretty common for people to smoke him out, or for girls to drag him in to fuck him.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546582 - 12/20/11 05:39 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bothhands said:Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
I have a steak recipe for vegetarians
believe it or not, I own my own tux... it's like this one
Haha, how does that work?
You have any pics of you wearing said tux?
cook the steaks of vegetarian s until desired doneness
there are pics of me in the tux as well as other suits but I do not have
them, some damned eastern european wimmins do and I havent seen them in
several years... maybe if I decide to dress for new years I'll see if
someone will take a pic of me for ya
I can take a pic of the tux though, it's in my bathtub with several other
suits and coats and stuff, the stupid rubbermaid closet rack shit fell and
while I did get ambitious enough to rehang it, handing the fancy duds was
low on the priority list
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1] 1
#15546598 - 12/20/11 05:42 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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You're going to Hannibal me, huh? Feed me to myself?
Jesus, you've always got the strangest excuses. Eastern European women and underpants gnomes.
--------------------
Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546619 - 12/20/11 05:46 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
You're going to Hannibal me, huh? Feed me to myself?
no... I couldnt do that. I can cook vegetables, it's just like cooking real food 
Quote:
Jesus, you've always got the strangest excuses. Eastern European women and underpants gnomes.
dont be knocking Deena or Sovi damn it
 
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546636 - 12/20/11 05:48 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Haha, I didn't say they were fake, just a stranger than normal excuse. You get yourself into some whacky shit.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546653 - 12/20/11 05:52 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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it's because I have an electric mouth, the shit I say is often used against
me, about this time last year I almost had to go home with an amazon of a
black woman because I havent learned to shut the hell up. I'm kinda wishing
I had now...
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546669 - 12/20/11 05:55 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Hahaha, would have been one more story to tell us little whippersnappers.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546703 - 12/20/11 06:03 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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it started all harmless, she was a waitress and I said "if you refill my
coffee I promise I'll love you for a week", she said 'only a week?' and I
said "yeah bit only for an hour at a time with an occasional smoke break"
then it was on, she started rubbing my neck and talking dirty. she was about
28 or so, apparently tired of black men with no job, I told her I'm not
allowed out of the house without adult supervision because I get into trouble
and she's like "I can help you get into trouble"
it all stemmed from me talking shit to a kid that was working with me, he's
19 and never even kissed a girl, lacked self confidence and I told him that
he's got nothing to be afraid of, he's a good looking guy and he just needs
to put himself out there. I really do get myself into a lot of shit, it's
rarely ever bad and it's usually pretty damned funny watching me try and
squirm my way out
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BargainBab
Hey Dere Ho Dere
Registered: 04/04/11
Posts: 1,178
Loc: Callisto
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: shadowplay] 1
#15546743 - 12/20/11 06:12 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I smoked out a mexican we found in front of home depot to do our tiling
We were just shooting the shit, we talked about futurama(we're both fans), dogs, credit cards, just bullshitting. As soon as I figured this guy was cool I whipped out a black and mild stuffed with the good. He was so chill about it when I passed it to him, he hit it without mentioning it. By the time we were done I was baked like fuck, and I had a pretty astronomical tolerance at the time.
He began to just fuck up the tiles so I told him to chill in the living room. It couldn't have been forty seconds before I hear a ruckus. I come back in and he had jumped on my recliner and rode it to the floor while doing the dance singing"B-E-N-D-E-R. BEEEEEENNNDDEERRR!" It turns out he had never smoked weed before in his life
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Oh wow, GOOD Nyborg!
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passifloracaerulea
Registered: 11/13/10
Posts: 10,485
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546749 - 12/20/11 06:15 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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years ago these crazy mormon girls would come around my house every single week to talk with me. i was always out in my greenhouse or in the yard. they tried multiple times to convert me, and i swear they were trying to entice me with new single women each week. these girls were all over me, touching just about everything but my...seriously, it was a bit weird, but they were cute. i married a witch instead who ruined my life.
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shLong
Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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A mexican who has never smoked weed before?
what kind of shitty excuse for a mexi is he?
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x Ju x
Aubergine Of The Sun
Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,511
Loc: Shpongleland, Canada
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: shLong]
#15546799 - 12/20/11 06:25 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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At least his first time wasn't with mexican brick weed. That would have sucked.
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Rexter
Tripper
Registered: 05/03/09
Posts: 10,047
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: x Ju x]
#15546814 - 12/20/11 06:28 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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And ironic
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new trade list
my own WCA V: I
"Ha! Marshall you're so funny man You should be a comedian, god damn!" Unfortunately I am I just hide behind the tears of a clown"
Meteloides said:
Stick to naturally occurring substances! Like Shrooms! And DMT! And Datura! And Amanita Phalloides! And Nutmeg! And Hemlock!
That'll expand the shit out of your DNA.
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shLong
Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Rexter]
#15546831 - 12/20/11 06:30 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Sad story, but I never even seen kind buds (dro, hi grade, whatever you call it etc) until I was 19 or so. (thats 5-6 years of only brick/schwag.)
It didnt even look like weed to me, I thought it was the craziest shit I ever seen.
Edited by shLong (12/20/11 06:31 PM)
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BargainBab
Hey Dere Ho Dere
Registered: 04/04/11
Posts: 1,178
Loc: Callisto
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: shLong]
#15546864 - 12/20/11 06:35 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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 That sucks man, big time lol. When I first started smoking I had copious amounts of cash(it's not like I spending it on pot before then) and a hookup for medical grade and eventually lost that job and that hookup. Now I'm mostly on mids, and every so often reggie comes over
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Oh wow, GOOD Nyborg!
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Cj-B
All the same...I saw it first.
Registered: 07/16/11
Posts: 4,479
Loc: The Library of Babel
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15547658 - 12/20/11 08:55 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
Haha, that'd be cool if you were.
Quote:
danielx said:
good thing you didn't get victimized. I don't know where you live, but I don't answer the door to anyone I don't know.
I do live in a ghetto neighborhood, but I had a rottweiler. He wasn't going to do anything funny. My rottie was licking his hands to see how he tasted if he decided to do anything dumb.
Yay! Someone else with a rottweiler! I loves rottweilers. My family used to breed em.
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"I have no way of knowing whether you, who eventually will read this record, like stories or not. If you do not, no doubt you have turned these pages without attention. I confess that I love them. Indeed, it often seems to me that of all the good things in the world, the only ones humanity can claim for itself are stories and music; the rest, mercy, beauty, sleep, clean water and hot food (as the Ascian would have said) are all the work of the Increate. Thus, stories are small things indeed in the scheme of the universe, but it is hard not to love best what is our own—hard for me, at least."
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Remix
grammer natze
Registered: 08/05/10
Posts: 4,171
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15548285 - 12/20/11 11:23 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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...what if it was really an undercover narc you smoked with. 
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Visionary Tools
Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 7,953
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Remix]
#15548922 - 12/21/11 03:39 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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last day of freedom, I'm tripping on cactus with friends, they order pizza. Guy stares at my friend, friend stares back, friend says "You're as red-eye jedi as I am." they giggled, pizza was parted, and he went on his merry way.
He looked like he had shit to do for the next 32 hours so he didn't partake.
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Visionary Tools]
#15549697 - 12/21/11 09:35 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Cj-B said:
Quote:
BothHands said:
Haha, that'd be cool if you were.
Quote:
danielx said:
good thing you didn't get victimized. I don't know where you live, but I don't answer the door to anyone I don't know.
I do live in a ghetto neighborhood, but I had a rottweiler. He wasn't going to do anything funny. My rottie was licking his hands to see how he tasted if he decided to do anything dumb.
Yay! Someone else with a rottweiler! I loves rottweilers. My family used to breed em.
Rottweilers are my favorite dog ever. I've had them since I was a baby. We've never not had one. They're the sweetest friendliest warmest dogs I've ever known. And they're low energy too, so they don't mind just chillin for hours. If you get a collie or something, you have to exercise them for like 3 hours a day, but rotties love just chillin. Super good with kids too. We routinely have little ones over, and he's so gentle, and has never so much as knocked one over. They're all in love with him.
I love him so much 
Quote:
Remix said:
...what if it was really an undercover narc you smoked with.
Why would an undercover narc be at my place. I've got like a quarter gram of weed in my house, I'm no big fish. I've never sold drugs, and I barely have money to even do them myself. If I had more to be worried about, I'd definitely worry more. But I think I'm fine.
Quote:
Visionary Tools said:
last day of freedom, I'm tripping on cactus with friends, they order pizza. Guy stares at my friend, friend stares back, friend says "You're as red-eye jedi as I am." they giggled, pizza was parted, and he went on his merry way.
He looked like he had shit to do for the next 32 hours so he didn't partake.
Yeah, those pizza delivery guys are usually baked as hell.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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imachavel
I loved and lost but I loved-ftw
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 31,488
Loc: You get banned for saying that
Last seen: 19 hours, 21 minutes
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15549829 - 12/21/11 10:12 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
He came by my house trying to sell me magazines. We talked for about 5 minutes before we came to the topic of magazines, and I made it clear I didn't have the money to buy any. He kept talking though, apparently he only had 10 minutes of his shift left, and was trying to kill time. Eventually asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner with him. I told him no, and he asked me why. I told him I was gay. He took this opportunity to sit on the chair on my front porch, and ask some more questions. So I asked him if he wanted to smoke a bowl. He said SURE, and we got baked as FUCK. Now he's stoned out of his mind and wondering our neighborhood.
Anyone have similar stories to share?
wow that is fucking awesome. you should have given him a hit of acid LOL
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 I did not say to edit my signature soulidarity! Now forever I will never remember what I said about understanding the secrets of the universe by paying attention to subtleties!
 I'm never giving you the password again. Jerk
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: imachavel]
#15549865 - 12/21/11 10:21 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Haha, if I had acid I'd be taking it myself.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Cj-B
All the same...I saw it first.
Registered: 07/16/11
Posts: 4,479
Loc: The Library of Babel
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15549961 - 12/21/11 10:41 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
Quote:
Cj-B said:
Quote:
BothHands said:
Haha, that'd be cool if you were.
Quote:
danielx said:
good thing you didn't get victimized. I don't know where you live, but I don't answer the door to anyone I don't know.
I do live in a ghetto neighborhood, but I had a rottweiler. He wasn't going to do anything funny. My rottie was licking his hands to see how he tasted if he decided to do anything dumb.
Yay! Someone else with a rottweiler! I loves rottweilers. My family used to breed em.
Rottweilers are my favorite dog ever. I've had them since I was a baby. We've never not had one. They're the sweetest friendliest warmest dogs I've ever known. And they're low energy too, so they don't mind just chillin for hours. If you get a collie or something, you have to exercise them for like 3 hours a day, but rotties love just chillin. Super good with kids too. We routinely have little ones over, and he's so gentle, and has never so much as knocked one over. They're all in love with him.
I love him so much
Yup...but not always...I used to have a rottweiler when I was a kid named Ice. Real vicious bastard he was. Everyone that didn't live in the house was absolutely terrified of him and we had to warn any maintenance guys to stay as far away from the fence as they possibly could unless they wanted to get mauled. He died a few years ago though. I miss him. Watching my friends be scared to death of my dog was funny...my current rottweiler already has stoner behavior even though I've never got my dog stoned before. He barks at every sound or person walking past my house and hes always hungry...It never fails to make me laugh.
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"I have no way of knowing whether you, who eventually will read this record, like stories or not. If you do not, no doubt you have turned these pages without attention. I confess that I love them. Indeed, it often seems to me that of all the good things in the world, the only ones humanity can claim for itself are stories and music; the rest, mercy, beauty, sleep, clean water and hot food (as the Ascian would have said) are all the work of the Increate. Thus, stories are small things indeed in the scheme of the universe, but it is hard not to love best what is our own—hard for me, at least."
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PsycologyIsKey
Wonderer
Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 105
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Flower Child]
#15550020 - 12/21/11 10:54 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Flower Child said:
That's really epic.
wut episode is your sig?
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Troublesome..the whole lot of them.
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claraclairvoyant
well oiled machine
Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15550178 - 12/21/11 11:26 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Cool story and cute doggy!! I've always kind of wanted a rottweiler, I had a german shephard when i was a kid though so I think whenever I get a dog that's what it'll be. I wish you could smoke me out 
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Cj-B]
#15550303 - 12/21/11 11:48 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Awe, I've never met a mean rottie before, though I'm sure they are out there. We got ours as a puppy, and socialized him a lot, and raised him with a ton of love, so I don't even know if he's aware that there are even bad people out there.
Quote:
claraclairvoyant said:
Cool story and cute doggy!! I've always kind of wanted a rottweiler, I had a german shephard when i was a kid though so I think whenever I get a dog that's what it'll be. I wish you could smoke me out
We used to have a German Shepard in South Africa too. He was a real sweat heart, and used to let me ride him like a horse. Great dogs. I haven't had one in the US though, where we have much more limited space. In South Africa, he had my rottie to play with, and a giant back yard. I don't know what kind of energy level they have, or if it's suitable for an inside dog. Something you gotta look into before you get a dog. 
I'll smoke you out any day, hun. Come sell me some magazines.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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claraclairvoyant
well oiled machine
Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15550314 - 12/21/11 11:50 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Definitely, I'd have to live on a farm or have a big fenced in yard if I ever got a german shephard. We had a big yard when we had ours, they need it. I'm apartment living now though so it'll be a while til I can have a big doggie 
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Edited by claraclairvoyant (12/21/11 11:51 AM)
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: claraclairvoyant]
#15550330 - 12/21/11 11:54 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Oh, I wasn't saying they are high energy, I really don't know. I had mine when I was like 5 years old, so I can't really judge that to accurately. Maybe they'll do great as inside dogs. Was just saying it's something you need to check beforehand. A collie, for example, will go batshit insane if you don't exercise it for several hours a day, but a Rottie is fine just hangin out.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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