Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: MagicBag.co All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck, Certified Organic All-In-One Grow Bags by Magic Bag   Myyco.com Golden Teacher Liquid Culture For Sale

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
InvisibleAmoeboid
seriously deliriously
Male


Registered: 07/02/09
Posts: 1,888
Homosexual parent.
    #15405031 - 11/21/11 08:19 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

My mom is a lesbian. She realized this, presumably, when I was around 12 when her and dad divorced. I think this had a huge, lasting effect on my psychological well-being. I was too ashamed for a long time to have friends over because I thought something horrible would happen if they found out that my mom was homosexual. My cousins weren't allowed to come over when my sister and I were at our moms. My extended family on my fathers side was quite religious so there was a lot of weird tension, which somehow has persisted for a long time.

We stayed mostly with our dad who lived about an hour away from mom and I only got to see her on the weekends. I remember being sad often growing up because it seemed like I had to choose between seeing mom on the weekends and hanging out with my friends.

Being raised partly by a gay parent seemed to have produced a lot of anxiety in my younger self. I've grown up enough to not care about my mothers sexual orientation, but I think maybe there's something lingering psychologically that might have a negative impact on my ability to feel comfortable around people.


--------------------
Philosophically, the contents of the jar gave no advice.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinewithoutawire
hi
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 11,384
Loc: Honolulu, Hawaii
Last seen: 9 months, 13 days
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: Amoeboid]
    #15405491 - 11/21/11 10:04 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

It's good you realize it does not matter what the orientation is of your parent. Some therapy with a professional to process all those feelings will allow you to start to get comfortable with people.


--------------------
:tigerbunny:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineBothHands
Dog Coffee
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 24 days
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: Amoeboid]
    #15405513 - 11/21/11 10:08 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

It sounds like it had more to do with the shunning of your mother by other members of the family.  That made you embarrassed about her, and that led to problems.  If you had actually brought your friends over, they probably would have thought it was the greatest thing ever.  My brother's friends were always talking about how hot my mom was. :ifyoucanawe:


--------------------
Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleAmoeboid
seriously deliriously
Male


Registered: 07/02/09
Posts: 1,888
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: BothHands]
    #15405882 - 11/22/11 12:00 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Probably. They feared it and somehow that fear was inflicted on me, even if it was unintentional.

Quote:

BothHands said:
My brother's friends were always talking about how hot my mom was. :ifyoucanawe:




My friends used to tell me my sister was hot... all the time.
:ifyoucanawe:


--------------------
Philosophically, the contents of the jar gave no advice.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleP-O
#AnyoneButHarper
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/13/09
Posts: 13,636
Loc: Flag
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: Amoeboid]
    #15406273 - 11/22/11 02:56 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

pix please!

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleAmoeboid
seriously deliriously
Male


Registered: 07/02/09
Posts: 1,888
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: P-O]
    #15406687 - 11/22/11 07:24 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

PostiveOutlook said:
pix please!




NEVER!
:crazybaby:


--------------------
Philosophically, the contents of the jar gave no advice.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineXUL
OTD Janitor
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America Flag
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: Amoeboid]
    #15406704 - 11/22/11 07:39 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Amoeboid said:
My mom is a lesbian. She realized this, presumably, when I was around 12 when her and dad divorced. I think this had a huge, lasting effect on my psychological well-being. I was too ashamed for a long time to have friends over because I thought something horrible would happen if they found out that my mom was homosexual. My cousins weren't allowed to come over when my sister and I were at our moms. My extended family on my fathers side was quite religious so there was a lot of weird tension, which somehow has persisted for a long time.

We stayed mostly with our dad who lived about an hour away from mom and I only got to see her on the weekends. I remember being sad often growing up because it seemed like I had to choose between seeing mom on the weekends and hanging out with my friends.

Being raised partly by a gay parent seemed to have produced a lot of anxiety in my younger self. I've grown up enough to not care about my mothers sexual orientation, but I think maybe there's something lingering psychologically that might have a negative impact on my ability to feel comfortable around people.





Divorces are rough. My parents got divorced when I was away at boarding highschool. I didnt really care and I dont really care but honestly I think it did have an effect on me that I did not notice outright.

I hate to see parents get divorced. I hate it so much. But I do love to see families hold strong until the end. Its rare but it happens. My best friends family is together and will probably stay that way as they are getting pretty old now. They are glued by Christianity.

I dont have much to say about lesbians. I knew two once. :shrug:


--------------------
TRUMP 2020

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblecateyes
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/16/03
Posts: 2,754
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: Amoeboid]
    #15406830 - 11/22/11 08:33 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

it's a shame you had hangups about your mother, and your family too... i tole my parents i was bisexual when i was 14 and by 16 they had enough and booted me out... during the entire two year time span they would only call me "sinner", never kensho, not even one slip up... could you imagine living like that? contrary to popular belief lesbians are people too... they have all the emotions and needs as others do... it's really a shame this bothered you this much... you really should seek out some form of counciling because this type of internal conflict might never go away on its own and you need to figure out a way to put this behind you once and for all...

out of curiosity, did religion play a role in your attitude towards your mother? i'll bet you one million dollars Jesus would wrap his arms around your mother and give her a great big hug... sometimes religious beliefs turn people ignorant...

judging someone by their sexual orientation will only mess with your own mind in the long run... i really hope you find a psychologist and sort this out for yourself...

Kensho :psychsplit:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSeussA
Error: divide byzero


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 1 month, 19 days
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: cateyes] * 1
    #15406877 - 11/22/11 08:50 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

> sometimes religious beliefs turn people ignorant...

I tend to believe that ignorant people use their religious beliefs to justify their ignorance.  Take Christianity for example; it takes a lot of digging and a fair bit of stretching to find anything in the Christian bible (old testament or new) that condemns homosexual relationships.  However, the majority of Christians, based upon their religious moral values, will condemn homosexuals.  I find it amazing how quickly hate, the antithesis of their religion, is embraced over an erroneously perceived slight of their religious moral values.


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleAmoeboid
seriously deliriously
Male


Registered: 07/02/09
Posts: 1,888
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: cateyes]
    #15407371 - 11/22/11 10:50 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

cateyes said:

out of curiosity, did religion play a role in your attitude towards your mother? i'll bet you one million dollars Jesus would wrap his arms around your mother and give her a great big hug... sometimes religious beliefs turn people ignorant...

judging someone by their sexual orientation will only mess with your own mind in the long run... i really hope you find a psychologist and sort this out for yourself...

Kensho :psychsplit:




I never really judged my mother because of her sexuality. Other people did and I think that might be what affected me so much. It was part of what helped me to draw in on myself. That combined with moving to a larger schooldistrict in a bigger town completely crushed my ego and ability to open up to others.

That's all in the past. It seems I still have issues, however.

Oh and Jesus died 2,000 years ago. I really don't care who he would or wouldn't have hugged. :P


--------------------
Philosophically, the contents of the jar gave no advice.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJoieDeVivre
Hippie Babysitter
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/13/11
Posts: 5,751
Loc: Gamehenge
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: Amoeboid]
    #15409180 - 11/22/11 04:53 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Homophobic people always try to argue that having a homosexual parent ends up being negative for the child. In today's society they actually are right. There is often a negative affect on the child but the only reason there is a negative impact on the child of a homosexual parent is because of societal criticism which leads to anxiety and self loathing.

I'm sorry that the immaturity of your extended family and societal pressures led to problems in your childhood. I hope you can work through the discomforts you may have. It could be interesting to talk to your mother about how it made her feel as well.


--------------------
Sapere aude

"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results."


UBUNTU- I am because we are.



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male


Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: Homosexual parent. [Re: JoieDeVivre] * 1
    #15411091 - 11/22/11 11:48 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

If it makes you feel any better 95% of the population is fucked up from their parents in some way, shape, or form :shrug: If it wasnt this it would be something else


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: MagicBag.co All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck, Certified Organic All-In-One Grow Bags by Magic Bag   Myyco.com Golden Teacher Liquid Culture For Sale


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* My parents.
( 1 2 all )
Ped 2,785 22 07/20/04 12:57 AM
by MOTH
* An interesting read: (Christians, drugs, and disaster)
( 1 2 all )
MOTH 4,957 25 04/09/04 03:37 AM
by daba
* Liberating My Parents BillyGrass 1,267 6 02/21/04 10:38 PM
by enotake2
* How do I reach out to my parents? I'm desperate.
( 1 2 all )
MOTH 4,591 23 11/15/04 12:39 AM
by MOTH
* Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic*
( 1 2 all )
PuzzledMind 3,593 23 03/17/09 09:46 AM
by TaxCollector
* Parents Who Don't Communicate blo0mz 2,122 10 11/13/06 10:26 PM
by kake
* My parents are always putting me down..
( 1 2 all )
Snape 2,402 21 09/27/04 03:47 PM
by Snape
* Aging parents Renegade8 812 5 06/25/04 07:49 AM
by Barbi

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, Rose, mndfreeze, yogabunny, feevers, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
890 topic views. 0 members, 2 guests and 5 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.025 seconds spending 0.004 seconds on 13 queries.