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Anonymous #1
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I'm seriously thinking that I might be Bi.. What do I do now?
#15323525 - 11/04/11 06:17 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'll try make this as concise as possible. I'm a 20 year old male, and recently I've begun to realise I might be bisexual.. I've started watching quite a lot of gay porn(mostly homoemo) and I've started to develop a crush on this guy at my college. I guess now I just want to know for sure.. I know at the back of my mind I've always wanted to be gay. But I don't want to pretend to be gay If I'm not. I'm thinking the only way to know for sure if to try it with a guy... Sex that is or at least something along those lines. A few problems are that I know no one here.. Literally no one.. I didn't really find anyone that I clicked with in the first year of college when people made friends and now I spend either at my PC in my room or at class.
The few possible step I could take:
- Visit a cruising spot. It's secretive, if I decide I don't like it no one has to know. - Tell my gay friend and ask if he can help.. maybe set me with up with someone. This seems so awkward.. what if I get to that moment of sex or whatever and realise it's just not what I want.. People will surely find out. At least with cruising it's somewhat secretive.
I'm just confused about where to go from here.
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Smitington
Unidentified Flying Object


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 1,408
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Re: I'm seriously thinking that I might be Bi.. What do I do now? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15323642 - 11/04/11 06:37 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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what you are going through doesn't seem normal for a straight male. Sounds like you are gay/bi, big deal. Explore it, whatever you gotta do.
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Darwin23
INFJ



Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 3,282
Loc: United States
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Re: I'm seriously thinking that I might be Bi.. What do I do now? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15325030 - 11/05/11 12:43 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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You should talk to your gay friend. He probably went through the same thing when he was younger and he can offer you support. I think if you're looking at gay porn, you're very likely gay/bi. I can understand maybe looking once or twice out of curiosity, but if you're looking at it for more than that or to get turned on/masturbate to, I think that's gay. I could be wrong though. These things seem to be pretty complicated. If you're comfortable with hooking up with a dude you should go for it. I'm sure it can't be that difficult, gay men still have the same (NSA)sex drive that straight dudes do.
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Take a look at my journal
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sandi
omg


Registered: 04/11/11
Posts: 796
Loc: M6 (Butterfly Cluster)
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Re: I'm seriously thinking that I might be Bi.. What do I do now? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15325171 - 11/05/11 01:50 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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I've never been a fan of asking someone else what they did. All that can do is confuse you. Really, do straight people go "omg, I'm straight, what do I do now?"
Either you have the feelings and will act on them, or not. If you're still not sure and haven't acted on them, don't just go and do something because you are "pretty sure" and think you should try it....when the time is right (and the person) you'll know. If you still think you're confused, they you probably should still cool it...
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Psychopharmakos
Hypha


Registered: 06/01/11
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Loc: USA
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Re: I'm seriously thinking that I might be Bi.. What do I do now? [Re: sandi]
#15327292 - 11/05/11 02:52 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Most people are somewhat bisexual, it is a flowing continuum not discrete blocks and sexual preferences change over time.
My personal belief in the matter is that sex is best when it's in an intimate loving relationship. So I agree with sandi, don't rush into sex. When it's right, it's right...there are a lot of diseases out there man...
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In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful Read, in the name of your Lord, who created. He created man from an embryo. Read, and your Lord, Most Exalted. Teaches by means of the pen. He teaches man what he never knew.
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cateyes


Registered: 12/16/03
Posts: 2,754
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Re: I'm seriously thinking that I might be Bi.. What do I do now? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15328019 - 11/05/11 06:35 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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when i was 14, i was at a party feeling pretty good, not sloppy and talking with a small group boys and girls... i watched this popular, openly gay boy walk across the room towards us, he was looking straight at me and i just smiled, he smiled back... he walked right up to me face to face and gave me this deeply passionate kiss with his tongue in my mouth... instead of feeling repulsed, i was almost immediately turned on by it and went with it... the entire room started hooting and hollering... he ended the kiss with both of his hands on my cheeks and just smiled this intense smile... i went home that night and thought about what had happened through the remaining weekend... i was honest with myself and realized that i had these underlying feelings towards a few male friends from school... from that point on i accepted my bisexual tendencies... i have to be honest though, i have always been more attracted towards girls/women... my relationships with boys/men were generally more friendships but i would occasionally hook up with males in my circle who were bi/gay within my group... even though i cared for them, it was strictly sexual, i've never been in a standing "relationship" with one male... i never got into the gay/bi club scene although i did join two gay/bi groups during advanced school... sex with males was always exciting for me, it's kind of strange that i wasn't more promiscuous... about a year or so out of advanced school i completely gravitated towards women only and today am in a loving heterosexual marriage... sex with females was always more sensual to me... even when i was a young teen i could spend hours and hours hardcore fucking and always loved cuddling... i couldn't really do this with men, i can't explain it... i still consider myself bisexual though because i still find myself attracted to specific men...
there's no way you could pretend to be bi/gay... you either feel it inside or you don't... it's that simple... in reading your post you definitely have at least bi tendencies but you have to try to not get consumed by your feeling or fear what others might think of you because you don't need that kind of head game going on... sexual hangups aren't cool at all... you never said how you feel towards women... someone suggested you should talk with your gay friend... to be honest, i'm fucking stunned you haven't done this already... he's your friend and he certainly understands the sexuality issues involved here... you could hit up a club if you think that's your thing but make sure whoever you hook up with wears a condom... and keep in mind that if you decide to give oral you could catch herpes... herpes of the mouth is terrible to have to live with... hooking up with strangers always unnerved me for this reason...
i wish you the best of luck...
Kensho
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fngbronco
Monkey Man



Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 2,877
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Re: I'm seriously thinking that I might be Bi.. What do I do now? [Re: cateyes]
#15333695 - 11/06/11 11:32 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Cry.
Only joking my friend. One of my good friends is bi, I think he's more just a sex whore/addict, but w/e. He just goes with what feels right. I've never once met someone who makes the bad decision because it's the best, or goes against what feels right at the time. Accept it, if it's not what you thought it was and don't like it, don't do it. We live and learn friend, and the only way to learn ourselves is to make choices.
-------------------- I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need. Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco Pill Divider Agar Tek
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