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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 33,746
Loc: Lost In Space
Funny... yet surprisingly accurate.
    #1501428 - 04/28/03 06:49 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

The Left's Weapons Of Mass Distraction
VIEW FROM THE RIGHT

Adam Sparks, Special to SF Gate Monday, April 28, 2003

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



"Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language." --Ludwig Wittgenstein

Words are power in motion. The war over words and how they're used by our society has become the new battleground of the Left. The primary tool in their arsenal is an effort to change the conventional meanings of words used in our daily communication. The morphing of our language is now the front line of the war on our culture and a powerful means for gaining political ground for the Left.

Just as many sports fans need a program to see who's who or what's what on the field, many citizens need a guide to understanding the Leftist lexicon. So, here's a brief primer into what the Left actually means when they say:

Advantaged, the: 1) Anyone who has a strong sense of self-responsibility, works hard for their money or pays taxes. 2) Anyone who believes in the American Dream. 3) White or Asian American.

Affirmative Action: Getting back at the Advantaged.

Affordable Housing: 1) Tax-supported housing, built by the government, that costs twice as much to build than if built by a typical builder, while simultaneously preventing new, for-profit housing construction. 2) A program that requires the Advantaged to spend their taxes to pay for the lifetime housing of couch potatoes and slackers.

Animal Rights: 1) The concept of the supremacy of animals' rights over those of humans. 2) The application of the U.S. Constitution to animals in their legal defense.

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD): A new disease cured by taking bright kids bored to tears by the poor academic curriculum in our public schools and drugging them to death.

Basic Rights: New rights not found anywhere in the Constitution that include the right for slackers to get free food, free housing, free medical care and conjugal visits in prison, plus permission to deal drugs, defecate in the streets and aggressively panhandle, as well as get enough welfare money to trade their cars in every three years.

Conservative, a: 1) Anyone fighting the socialist aspirations of the radical Left or anyone who is either Advantaged or wants to be Advantaged. 2) A person proud to be an American, and one who holds ideals like honesty and morality and heralds individual rights over group rights. 3) Dumb taxpayers who love America.

Diversity: 1) Making sure we highlight and celebrate our different qualities and our hyphenated countries of origin, while still bashing America and, particularly, rejecting the idea that there is or should be any unity of thought or purpose of America. 2) Making sure we have, in all levels of government and corporations, a proportionate number of people of color and those of different sexual orientations, unless they are conservatives. Conservatives are not a part of diversity.

Environmentalism: 1) A way of stopping America's technological progress, farming practices, new housing and job creation. This is perpetrated by a cabal of both tassled-shoe lawyers (who have never actually stepped foot in a wilderness area) and scraggly neo-hippies. 2) Repeating the mantra that Republicans are "poisoning the air and water" to a gullible public. 3) An attempt by "progressives" to regress technologically by reestablishing the technology of the 19th century here in America.

Fascist, a: 1) Anyone who is not a Progressive (see below). 2) People who believe in America's system of merit and capitalism. 3) Conservatives. (Note: Doesn't include Leftist genocidal tyrants who brutalize their people in nations throughout the world.) 4) George W. Bush.

Fetus, a: Tissue mass in a pregnant woman that often starts moving and kicking at two months of age.

Free Speech: 1) The ability to incite riots against America and its capitalist system by the use of hateful speech. 2) Speech that disparages the goals, purposes or ambitions of patriotic, taxpaying Americans.

Hate Speech: Speech by either the Advantaged or Conservatives that doesn't promote a socialist "progressive" agenda.

Homeless, the: Drifters, druggies, bums, winos, slackers and petty thieves.

Homeless Advocates: Leftists actually paid by taxpayers who lobby for more big government and movement toward a "progressive," socialist-nanny state.

Individual Rights: The concept espoused by confused and hapless taxpayers who actually believe their and their own family's well-being comes before those of Environmentalists, the Homeless and the beneficiaries of Animal Rights. 2) A major doctrine that terrifies Progressives.

Judgmental: As in, "Don't be judgmental." 1) Said of persons who can actually distinguish between right and wrong. 2) Said of those actually trying to use the aforementioned moral code publicly to restore order and decency in American policy. 3) Fascists (see above).

Left Winger, a: This term doesn't exist. Don't speak it or think it. You may have seen the term "right winger," as it's frequently used in connection with both political or religious leaders by the Left and their friends in the media, but you won't see "left winger." To the Left, there are only right wingers, dumb taxpayers and Progressives.

Mean Spirited: 1) Said of anyone who doesn't support brutal dictators around the world. 2) Said of anyone who loves America. 3) Said of anyone who doesn't buy into the entire socialist "progressive" agenda. 4) Said of talk-show hosts.

Multiculturalism: 1) The principle underlying any bashing ceremony against all things American by representatives of nations or ideologies foreign to America. 2) The foundation of being proud to be from a country while simultaneously demeaning America. An idea espoused particularly by persons who like to hyphenate their demographic categorization by using their country or continent of ancestral origin as a part of their identity. 3) The underpinning of any cultural event, ideology or celebration that weakens or denigrates the American spirit of unity. 4) The justification for resegregation both at school and work with separate race-based organizations, distinct graduation ceremonies, etc.

Oreo, an: A racist and derogatory term used by Progressives, but parroted with glee by the media, to indicate a black person who works hard to achieve or who doesn't think like a socialist bum.

Pacifist, a: A person who holds that the defense of no one's life -- or any idea, such as freedom -- is so dear that it rises to the level of "worth fighting for."

People of Color: The current politically correct appellation for minorities. We've come a long way since that very offensive term "colored people."

Poor, the: 1) Those who don't want a minimum-wage job, because they're too good for it, so they take the dole. 2) People who choose to have six children without caring about how they will afford them. 3) People who think America's taxpayers owe them Basic Rights (see above).

Progressive: 1) Socialist. (The word socialist became real unpopular after the fall of the Soviet empire and was quickly replaced by a more easily digested word.) 2) A cruel joke on the American people. A word intentionally meant to deceive the hapless taxpayer into believing that the "progressive" ideology is somehow related to real progress. In reality, progressive and progress are antonyms.

Progressives: 1) Those who advocate the slow, clandestine progress of big government and command-and-control socialism in America. 2) Liberal Democrats.

Racists: 1) Fascists (see above). 2) The Advantaged (see above). 3) White people.

Rich, the: Anyone not Poor (see above), i.e. "This is a tax cut for the rich."

Right Winger: Conservative (see above).


Tolerance: 1) The act of ignoring your inner moral code and just believing that anyone doing anything is OK, no matter what. 2) Does not apply to Conservatives, the Advantaged and Oreos (see above). 3) Applies to dictators committing genocide against their people.

Underrepresented Minority, an: A minority who isn't from a group that does too well in the classroom, like the Chinese or Japanese.

Undocumented Immigrant, an: 1) An illegal alien. Someone who entered the country illegally and continues to remain here unlawfully, frequently working in the underground economy or, alternatively, getting on the taxpayer-supported dole. 2) Anyone of those the Left uses as "useful idiots" to inflict their socialist agenda on America. 3) One of a class of people who must not be denied their Basic Rights (see above).

Victim, a: Anyone of the class of either vicious criminals that have been busted and have been victimized by a mean police officer during an arrest, or an Undocumented Immigrant who has been denied his or her Basic Rights and is now engaging in protests against America.

Working Class, the: Those who are either socialists, collect welfare, are unemployed or have a job but get paid under the table to avoid taxes. This category allows the Left to then say, "This tax rebate doesn't benefit the working class."

If moderates, Oreos and Conservatives -- the dumb taxpayers -- are ever to take back our country, we'll need to first take back our language.

Adam Sparks is a San Francisco conservative writer. He can be reached at adamstyle@aol.com.

The Link


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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InvisibleBuddha5254
addict
Registered: 04/23/00
Posts: 532
Re: Funny... yet surprisingly accurate. [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1501611 - 04/28/03 07:42 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

accurate? when I have more time I'll rip this apart. This is a very right wing fascist document.


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Funny... yet surprisingly accurate. [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1501681 - 04/28/03 08:02 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

The Conservative Dictionary

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While surfing the Web, you may come upon many conservative-oriented pages. They use their own lingo, which can be confusing to outsiders. To aid you in your perusal of right wing web resources, here is a concise glossary of some terms they use. Standard disclaimers apply: "I know all conservatives aren't Nazis, my best friends are conservative, really, blah, blah, blah..."
in totally random order....

ACLU
Bad, because they defend parts of the Bill of Rights

NRA
Good, because they defend parts of the Bill of Rights

Criminal
Someone who breaks the law, unless the law has anything to do with guns, selling arms to Iran, or refusing to pay your taxes. In those cases, you are a...

Victim of society
Any white male, especially a conservative one, who are suffering now more than any other race in all history.

Leech, Welfare bum/queen
Any person on the government dole, EXCEPT for corporations receiving tax write-offs, ranchers and farmers receiving subsidies, and defense contractors.

Libertarianism
Survival of the fittest, and if you don't like it, you don't deserve to survive

Liberal
Anyone who shows human compassion, or reads the New York Times

Christian
Anyone who is a member of the Christian Coalition

Godless Atheist
Anyone who is not a member of the Christian Coalition

The Homosexual Agenda
Gay people exercising their rights to free speech and to petition the government for redress of grievances

Grassroots citizens' movement
Conservative people exercising their rights to free speech and to petition the government for redress of grievances

Republican Party
A political party which welcomes all conservatives, as long as they are pro-life, pro-gun, and anti everything else.

Democratic Party
Communists

Gays, Feminists, Environmentalists, Immigrants, Blacks
These didn't exist until they were invented by liberals back in the 1960's

Washington
The heart of the Evil Empire.

Bureaucrat
A Democrat working for the government.

Public Servant
A Republican working for the government.

Rush Limbaugh
The leading conservative intellectual (do I really need to insert a snide comment here?)

Extremist
Bill Clinton

Moderate
Pat Robertson

Guns and Ammo magazine
Pornography for conservatives

Our Founding Fathers
The true heroes who persevered and founded a nation conceived in liberty, and who also share identical beliefs with Rush Limbaugh.

Religion
What should be taught at public schools instead of science

Evolution
A kooky cult started by Charles Darwin

Jesus Christ
An conservative Republican leader to whom some erroneously attribute the phrases "love thy neighbor" and "turn the other cheek" to.

Ronald Reagan
The greatest President ever.

Abraham Lincoln
Was a Republican when the party began 140 years ago, so he can be forgiven for freeing the slaves and suppressing states' rights.

States rights
The right for individual states to pass conservative laws without interference from Washington. Note: does not apply if states pass liberal laws.

Judicial activism
What liberal judges do.

Sound jurisprudence
What conservative judges do

Pro-lifer
One who is willing to kill to preserve life.

Traditional Values
The classic values and morals that made America great, such as lynching blacks, beating up gays, and keeping the "little woman" barefoot and pregnant.

Pro-family politician
Any thrice-divorced Republican congressman late on child-support payments who is against gay marriage

Criminals Rights
Should be ignored unless said criminal is a member of wacko religious cult or is firearms dealer.

Liberal (2)
A conservative who has been arrested

Liberal media
Anything to the left of the American Spectator, G. Gordon Liddy, or Rush Limbaugh

Public Broadcasting
Rush Limbaugh (historical note: Newt Gingrich actually said this!)

Family Values
A mother and father who vote Republican raising two kids who attend a private school in the suburbs and attend a conservative church.

Subversive elements in society
Bookstores, coffeehouses, art galleries, and anything inside the city limits of a major American city.

RKBA
The Right to Kill and Bomb Americans

Special Rights
Constitutional rights for minorities you don't like.

Islamic Fundamentalism
The greatest threat to the Integrity of our Beloved Nation.(Fact: Limbaugh has said this on many an occasion)

Christian Fundamentalism
The greatest hope for the Integrity of our Beloved Nation.

Religion
Conservative Biblical literalism.

Cult
An institution that is not a RELIGION (see above).

Scholarship
Any work such as The Bell Curve, The American Spectator, or The Limbaugh Letter.

Liberal Ideology
Anything espoused in the work of Stephen Jay Gould, Noam Chomsky, or The Nation.

Big Government
Federal social programs that attempt to construct a more rational, fair society.

Proper Government
Billions upon billons of tax dollars wastefully spent on inefficient and otherwise prohibitively costly defense contracts, subsidies and tax breaks for corporations, and "The War on Drugs."


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Invisiblez@z.com
Libertarian
Registered: 10/13/02
Posts: 2,876
Loc: ATL
Re: Funny... yet surprisingly accurate. [Re: silversoul7]
    #1501712 - 04/28/03 08:10 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

While I disagree with many of those, they are all absolutely hilarious.


--------------------
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." - C.S. Lewis

"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniencies attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson


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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 33,746
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: Funny... yet surprisingly accurate. [Re: silversoul7]
    #1501789 - 04/28/03 08:38 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I agree, most while completely wrong, were funny.

Nice find!


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Funny... yet surprisingly accurate. [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1501793 - 04/28/03 08:39 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

I agree, most while completely wrong, were funny.

Nice find!



Same goes for the one you posted.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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