|
 Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire
 
Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
|
 Insecure about sexuality. 
#1499730 - 04/28/03 01:10 AM (20 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I'm starting to feel weird.
It has occured to me that I relate more to femine things than masculine. And for I have this chick, she keeps telling me I'm gay. I used to date her, and I think she justs wants to think I'm gay to feel better about me dumping her for another chick. But It's got me worring.
I'm really desensitived to sex and gross things. I can picture horrid horrid things, and not feel one way or another about it.
So I don't find homosexuals really offensive...
But the thing of it is... is that I have never wanted to see male porn, and when I dream at night, it's about chicks...
It's been a few years since I've been with a chick. I tend to go for the really young chicks... and they are like "I want to wait" and I say ok, because I try to do the "right thing" I am just starting to feel insecure...
maybe this is normal.
--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth
Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011
|
I_Fart_Blue
Stranger
Registered: 06/25/02
Posts: 3,495
Loc: SItting on the Group W Be...
Last seen: 20 years, 3 months
|
|
Are you attracted to men?
--------------------
"A study of the history of opinion is a necessary preliminary to the emancipation of the mind. I do not know which makes a man more conservative-to know nothing but the present, or nothing but the past." -John Maynard Keynes
|
Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire
Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
|
 Re: Insecure about sexuality. [Re: I_Fart_Blue]
#1499752 - 04/28/03 01:21 AM (20 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
When in comes right down to it, no.
but I still worry.
I just need some pussy probably.
--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth
Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011
|
I_Fart_Blue
Stranger
Registered: 06/25/02
Posts: 3,495
Loc: SItting on the Group W Be...
Last seen: 20 years, 3 months
|
|
Well you're fine either way, but you're probably straight. Nothing wrong with being in touch with your feminine side or anything. It dosen't make you gay. 
I've got a friend who everybody swears is gay. He's big into theatre and movies and what not, and is hardly masculine, wimpy as can be, and he wears hawaiian shirts a lot. In the words of Homer Simpson "The only guys who were Hawaiian shirts are gay guys and big fat party animals". He's no party animal.  But he's as straight as can be.
Why do you worry if you're gay? Would it bother if you were gay, or is it more along the lines of being bothered by not knowing who you are?
--------------------
"A study of the history of opinion is a necessary preliminary to the emancipation of the mind. I do not know which makes a man more conservative-to know nothing but the present, or nothing but the past." -John Maynard Keynes
|
UrQuattro
Paradigm Shifter
Registered: 02/02/01
Posts: 378
Loc: SFCAUSA
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
|
Re: Insecure about sexuality. [Re: I_Fart_Blue]
#1499894 - 04/28/03 02:35 AM (20 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
its fine to look at guys and notice that they are good looking, or to analyze why they are good looking.
but there is a difference between observing that someone is good looking and feeling that they are attractive to you and you can visualize participating in sexual acts with them.
if you have no desire for the latter, in terms of other men, then you most likely are not gay.
but if you do the former, then you are normal... dont worry bout it
--------------------
True wisdom is the knowledge that nothing is impossible except for absolute knowledge.
|
Sheepish
Registered: 04/02/02
Posts: 10,137
Loc: Exile
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
|
|
I wouldn't worry about it. If you're not sexually attracted to guys, then I really doubt you're gay. It's good to be able to relate to feminity sometimes (to understand girls, and they seem to like it when a guy isn't completly macho bullshit...well...some of them). If you're comfortable with your own sexuality, then all these things that supposendly make you gay (being skinny, liking a certain music, having really long hair, wearing make up, not liking sports...and so on) are nothing but stereotypical comments from retarded people who fear it's wrong to not be like every other guy out there.
|
 silversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
|
|
Despite what society tells you, being effeminate isn't the same thing as being gay.
--------------------
 
"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire
|
Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire
Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
|
Re: Insecure about sexuality. [Re: silversoul7]
#1500935 - 04/28/03 02:23 PM (20 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
"Why do you worry if you're gay? Would it bother if you were gay, or is it more along the lines of being bothered by not knowing who you are?"
I don't want to be. I thinks it's gross. (not to offend others)
"but there is a difference between observing that someone is good looking and feeling that they are attractive to you and you can visualize participating in sexual acts with them."
I don't get aroused by men. But some times I find them to be very good looking. However, when I think that, I almost always think, "I wish I looked like that"
I never have random thoughts about homosexual sex. But I could sit and think about it if I made myself. The thought of being with a man is gross to me.
then again, straight sex is kinda gross. Lets face it, penises and vaginas are not the most attractive parts of the human body.
I like titties though.
I always have something that I am freaking out about. I used to be deathly afraid of the end of the world (even though my own death was not frightening to me), now I am homophobic. Several times a week, I convince myself I have a major medical problem too. Usually either cancer or diebeties. I keep thinking I am going blind.
--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth
Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011
|
I_Fart_Blue
Stranger
Registered: 06/25/02
Posts: 3,495
Loc: SItting on the Group W Be...
Last seen: 20 years, 3 months
|
|
Well I think you're straight there buddy.
--------------------
"A study of the history of opinion is a necessary preliminary to the emancipation of the mind. I do not know which makes a man more conservative-to know nothing but the present, or nothing but the past." -John Maynard Keynes
|
Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire
Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
|
Re: Insecure about sexuality. [Re: I_Fart_Blue]
#1501208 - 04/28/03 03:52 PM (20 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah, for the last couple weeks I haven't done anything except smoke pot all day long everyday and eat. I leave my house twice a week for about 2-3 hours. I am not speaking to my friends. (just not, no reason. went to see the movie chicago with one of them night before last).) Zeta-jones = looks like the Camel Turkish girl = hot.)
maybe that is making me question reality or something.
--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth
Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011
|
I_Fart_Blue
Stranger
Registered: 06/25/02
Posts: 3,495
Loc: SItting on the Group W Be...
Last seen: 20 years, 3 months
|
|
Man, that can't be good. Defintely get out some. Expose yourself to the sun. Well, don't expose yourself, but definately try and get out. CZJ = hot. So true. I'ven't seen Chcago yet though.
--------------------
"A study of the history of opinion is a necessary preliminary to the emancipation of the mind. I do not know which makes a man more conservative-to know nothing but the present, or nothing but the past." -John Maynard Keynes
|
Boppity604
Stranger
Registered: 10/19/01
Posts: 1,056
|
|
Larry,
I'm gay. Trust me, you're not.  This country's entire approach to gender-biasing boys into thinking there's only ONE way to be a man (and likewise for only ONE way for girls to be women) is just plain sad.
Orientation has to do with emotional experience and attachment. Just because a straight guy can look at another guy and think he's good looking doesn't mean you're sexually attracted to him. Straight women are "expected" to call each other cute and hug and kiss because "that's what good girls do." Likewise, two straight men can cuddle, hug and even kiss without it being anything relating to being homosexual in nature.
To me it sounds like your anxiety really has to do with worrying about the reactions of other people/friends/family to your ability to be comfortable with feminine energy more than masculine. This doesn't mean you're not straight. I've met some FLAMING heterosexual men who could put most "queens" to shame. Character and demeanor/behavior are not related to sexual orientation.
It's okay if you think homosexuality is gross...that proves to me you are not gay at all. It shouldn't really turn you off though; to me anyone having sex with a consentual partner is not gross be it a man/woman, woman/woman, man/man, etc...but that's just me.
Don't worry yourself too much...you sound like a perfectly normal heterosexual dude to me. And that's fine! After all, some of my best friends are straight.
Love & Light,
Boppity
Edited by Boppity604 (04/28/03 04:09 PM)
|
Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire
Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
|
Re: Insecure about sexuality. [Re: Boppity604]
#1501295 - 04/28/03 04:12 PM (20 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I started my new job today.
I am landscaping my college over the summer work/study.
outside 5 hours day with the chickies walking around everywhere.
--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth
Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011
|
Boppity604
Stranger
Registered: 10/19/01
Posts: 1,056
|
Re: Insecure about sexuality. [Re: Boppity604]
#1501296 - 04/28/03 04:12 PM (20 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Also...it does sound like you may suffer from a panic or anxiety disorder if you constantly find yourself in a hypochondriacal state like you've mentioned. You might want to talk to your family doctor to see if you do. I personally suffered from panic attacks much the same way you've mentioned (always having SOMETHING to worry about) that resulted in me needing some sessions in therapy and I've been able to alleviate all my anxieties through session and meditation.
Best of luck to you...never be afraid to ask for help from someone if you think something might be wrong.
Love & Light,
Boppity
|
UrQuattro
Paradigm Shifter
Registered: 02/02/01
Posts: 378
Loc: SFCAUSA
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
|
Re: Insecure about sexuality. [Re: Boppity604]
#1501975 - 04/28/03 07:49 PM (20 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Don't worry yourself too much...you sound like a perfectly normal heterosexual dude to me. And that's fine! After all, some of my best friends are straight.
ha! 'not that there's anything wrong with that.'
--------------------
True wisdom is the knowledge that nothing is impossible except for absolute knowledge.
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
|
AbFab
me
Registered: 12/16/02
Posts: 363
Loc: Here
Last seen: 19 years, 11 months
|
Re: Insecure about sexuality. [Re: ]
#1503012 - 04/29/03 12:26 AM (20 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
if you are still worried, go into the lions den. go to a bar and kiss a guy. see if anythin that goes on does it for me. i really don't think that you are, but if its bothering you this much, do whatever that you have to do to be sure.
--------------------
The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when your uncool.
|
Asante
Omnicyclion prophet
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,330
|
|
gA, str8.. To complicate the matter further still there's also bisexuality, which means people have the ability to fall in love with a person of either sex.
Femininity/masculinity is beside the point and gives no clue at all. Hawaiian shirts.. hee-hee-hee!  Just like not all str8 people are into porn, not all gA people are too, so this also gives no clue at all.
Nobody here can tell you wether you harbor male-male relationship feelings from what you've written here. Your remark of it striking you as "gross" can be interpreted in two ways.
1...You cannot relate to male-male relationships and feel some repulsion.
2...On the inside you harbor feelings for this kind of thing "but it shouldn't" and you react by strong negativity.
You see? Usually the stronger somebody's repulsion towards something, the more attached they are to it on the inside, perhaps without even realizing this.
Being an Assgoblin myself I can assure you the Gay thing can be beautiful or disgusting, just like the Hetero thing. It's the people and the way they go about things that make it so. Bisexuality is OK too, and perhaps even preferable to either of one, since the ability to genuinely fall in love with a person of either sex signals clearly you've left the hostility-competitive culture behind and are more open to the human race in general
-even if you never get involved in the same sex side of the bisexual capability-
Whatever your pref may be: you feel like getting involved into a male-male sexual relationship is not your cup of tea. That's cool, isn't it? You know what you want and what you don't, just like your choice of breakfast cereal.
But try to lose the feeling that male-male love is gross: it generates and feeds the fire of inner conflict, which makes you a bit less happy. I myself strive to become 100% at peace with EVERYTHING under the sun, and especially the upsetting stuff. I make it a sport to identify with undesirable stances and people, and it usually takes less than a minute now to see where a "Bin Laden, Hitler, Mussolini or Bush" is coming from. I try to find inner peace through accepting any & all things.
When I was hospitalized & recovering from my heart infarction in January i got a test called a "body stress pedaling" or whatever the thingie is called. Now I consider myself to be a 99% pure Assgoblin, but the nurse recording my heartrate/respiration etc. simply was breathtakingly beautiful. No sex thing involved, she just was drop-dead beautiful I couldn't help myself saying: "don't take this the wrong way but I think you're absolutely beautiful." I even thought to myself: "If i were forced to go Hetero I'd pick her!" LOL!
Even if your attraction is not sexual, you are capable of recognising what you percieve as beauty. Males, females, it's all OK. Don't think you're Gay or Bi if you see (or enjoy seeing) an attractive person of the same sex.
It only shows you recognise beauty, and that's just OK, innit?
Hetero, Homo, AC/DC, it's all natural & OK, but my personal hunch is you are very likely not Gay, and it's reasonably likely you won't go male-male should you turn out to be Bisexual.
"Nothing's as important as finding INNER PEACE!!!"
--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
|
Revelation
ॐ
Registered: 08/04/01
Posts: 6,135
Loc: heart cave
|
|
If you want to have sex with girls, have sex with girls. If you want to have sex with men, have sex with men.
--------------------
|
silversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
|
 Re: Insecure about sexuality. [Re: Revelation]
#1504155 - 04/29/03 11:37 AM (20 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
If you want to have sex with girls, have sex with girls. If you want to have sex with men, have sex with men.
That post is profound in its simplicity.
--------------------
"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire
|
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Red Vein Kratom 
Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order 
Isolated Cubensis Liquid Culture For Sale 
Feminized Cannabis Seeds
Edit 
Reply 
1 2 3 all )
Poid
Anonymous
leery11
CosmicJoke
enotake2
InjectTruth