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Midnight_Toker
Gone Fishin'


Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 11,589
Loc: Canada
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How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life?
#14987502 - 08/27/11 04:02 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I most definitely wouldn't be the same person had I never smoked my first joint, or taken my first hit of acid. I was always an empathetic person, thoughtful and open minded. At least I thought I was.
I want to talk about my experiences with LSD. LSD changed me as a person. LSD brought me to the brink of insanity. A place where many people don't come back from. I was borderline schizophrenic, trying to fit the pieces of the universal puzzle together. I was sure the answers were there and that I could find them by delving deeper and deeper into my head. I was believing in my delusions, basking in what I thought was the step before total enlightenment and sure I would get there with my next trip.
I became extremely introverted, more than ever, living in my own head, discovering the inner workings of the mind. Molding, shaping my subjective reality with nothing but the power of my will. It was absolutely profound, but unfortunately it was nothing but a facade.
It finally hit me what I was doing to myself one day after a substantially strong trip. I went over to my father's house and had a conversation with him. I ended up trying to explain one of my crazy theories to him. Unfortunately, I can't remember his exact words, I was still pretty fried. I wish I could though, because they hit me like a ton of bricks.
My father is a very, very smart old man. He has a way of getting his point across simply and clearly, yet profoundly, with so much knowledge and wisdom behind his words that it's hard to brush off many things he says. I'm forever grateful to him for whatever he said to me that day, even though I'll probably never be able to tell him so.
I started realizing how much merit I was giving my delusions. I was creating connections, patterns where there were none, based solely on what I wanted to believe. I used to be rational, logical, but I had no trace of those essential traits left.
From that day on I started to rebuild my life. Reshape my mind. I came back to reality. It was harsh, but necessary.
The power of the human mind is absolutely incredible. What I went through was amazing, intense and often hellish, but in the end, my experience did nothing but benefit me. I discounted most of my experiences, but I did manage to salvage some of my more lucid ideas, and they played a big part in shaping me into the person I am now.
What I brought back with me was the gift of self-awareness. The kind I would never have learned in a lifetime, had I not maniacally explored the deepest, darkest crevices of my mind. I brought with me a greater understanding of myself, and I kept the knowledge I had learned of the inner workings of my mind, brain or consciousness. Whatever you want to call it.
I now know deeply and truly why I am who I am, and LSD definitely played it's part in my coming to this realization.
I'd love to hear your experiences on how any drug has influenced your life, be it positive or negative. Just make it from the heart!
Edited by Midnight_Toker (08/27/11 07:20 PM)
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Johnny Depp

Registered: 04/01/10
Posts: 2,201
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: Midnight_Toker]
#14987527 - 08/27/11 04:07 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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.
Edited by Johnny Depp (12/19/14 03:02 PM)
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Midnight_Toker
Gone Fishin'


Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 11,589
Loc: Canada
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: Johnny Depp]
#14987541 - 08/27/11 04:10 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Wow that was a super long post.. Can anyone tell I did a bunch of MDMA and E last night?
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: Midnight_Toker]
#14987978 - 08/27/11 05:55 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Interesting post, Midnight Toker, I've walked a similar path. Some of us get caught up in the head games, some of us aren't aware that we're playing head games, and others are able to brush it off. I also think some users never get a chance to play because they are not presented with the game. Anyway, good for you in that you had the voice of reason in your father to shake you free. Many people aren't that lucky.
My story diverges from yours though. You give the drugs credit for ultimately helping you. I don't think drugs can make me a better person in any way. I'm happy if they give me a good time and leave my personality alone. This mind doesn't need any tweaking, any additional empathy or kindness or understanding. Show me pretty fucking colors, make me laugh, and give me a few WHAT THE FUCKING IS GOING?!!!!! moments and I'm happy.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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ShroomXolomilco
The Man


Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 441
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: joemolloy]
#14987995 - 08/27/11 05:58 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Drugs have shown me that drugs aren't bad at all. Before I did drugs I believed the "drugs are evil, don't do them!" propaganda. Moderation is key. And not being a dumbass.
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Moderation is a bitch. The drugs I don't like too much are easy to moderate and the drugs I love are not.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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Chemical Addiction




Registered: 08/16/11
Posts: 2,020
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: joemolloy]
#14988081 - 08/27/11 06:18 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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before i started using and reading about drugs i had no strong interest in anything, i liked listening to music but even when i'm not high i am extremely interested in ethnobotanicals and synthesized drugs. reading about watching videos about and using drugs is my hobby
-------------------- Vegetation has crawled for miles towards the cities. It is waiting. Once the city is dead, the vegetation will cover it, will climb over the stones, grip them, search them, make them burst with its long black pincers; it will blind the holes and let its green paws hang over everything. —Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea
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Midnight_Toker
Gone Fishin'


Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 11,589
Loc: Canada
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: joemolloy]
#14988194 - 08/27/11 06:49 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
joemolloy said: My story diverges from yours though. You give the drugs credit for ultimately helping you. I don't think drugs can make me a better person in any way. I'm happy if they give me a good time and leave my personality alone. This mind doesn't need any tweaking, any additional empathy or kindness or understanding. Show me pretty fucking colors, make me laugh, and give me a few WHAT THE FUCKING IS GOING?!!!!! moments and I'm happy.
Well.. I don't give the drug credit for helping me solve my problems. All problems were resolved sober and I stayed sober for quite a while. It certainly caused the distress which forced me to tackle said problems though.
Ultimately, if I had never gone through such trials, I don't think I would be the same person. I don't think anything else would have sent me down the road I walked besides a strong psychoactive compound, therefore it played a significant role in my life.
Edit: I see I worded in my OP that LSD did help me along the way. That was a bad choice of wording. I'd rather use the above post to explain my ending sentence in better terms.
LSD did nothing but cause me problems. Once I resolved them though, I became a stronger person. One of those 'whatever doesn't kill me' deals.
Edited by Midnight_Toker (08/27/11 06:55 PM)
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Midnight_Toker
Gone Fishin'


Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 11,589
Loc: Canada
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: joemolloy]
#14988291 - 08/27/11 07:09 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
joemolloy said: This mind doesn't need any tweaking, any additional empathy or kindness or understanding. Show me pretty fucking colors, make me laugh, and give me a few WHAT THE FUCKING IS GOING?!!!!! moments and I'm happy.
Do you consider yourself an already empathetic, kind and understanding person? To what degree? Have psychedelics not played an influential role in your life?
I see the pointlessness in being too empathetic, kind and understanding, but that doesn't stop me. Nothing matters except your own subjective view, so I try not to judge anybody and let them live their life the way they want to.
My extreme sensitivity to my own and others emotions makes me who I am. It may be a disadvantage in a lot of ways, but I wouldn't want to change it for anything. I love feeling other people's emotions as if they were my own, be it the happiest joy or deepest sorrow. Although I realize that, objectively, nothing really matters, I still find solace when I feel a connection with other people.
Edit: I edited my final sentence in the OP. It's not great but I'm kind of hurting from last night. It was hard enough to coherently type that monstrosity of an OP earlier. I'm just saying that I fully agree with you that it wasn't the drug that changed me, I changed myself. It did play it's part though.
Edited by Midnight_Toker (08/27/11 07:23 PM)
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Aldous Huxley
Doin' it for teh lulz


Registered: 02/03/11
Posts: 90
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Quote:
ShroomXolomilco said: Drugs have shown me that drugs aren't bad at all. Before I did drugs I believed the "drugs are evil, don't do them!" propaganda. Moderation is key. And not being a dumbass.
If this is your view, why have you decided to stop completely and not just 'moderate' your drug use to 'special occasions'?
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All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings, and so, give them the power to pull ours
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ShroomXolomilco
The Man


Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 441
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: Aldous Huxley]
#14988437 - 08/27/11 07:36 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Aldous Huxley said:
Quote:
ShroomXolomilco said: Drugs have shown me that drugs aren't bad at all. Before I did drugs I believed the "drugs are evil, don't do them!" propaganda. Moderation is key. And not being a dumbass.
If this is your view, why have you decided to stop completely and not just 'moderate' your drug use to 'special occasions'?
Because I just don't feel like it haha. Simple as that.
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Midnight_Toker
Gone Fishin'


Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 11,589
Loc: Canada
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Quote:
ShroomXolomilco said:
Quote:
Aldous Huxley said:
Quote:
ShroomXolomilco said: Drugs have shown me that drugs aren't bad at all. Before I did drugs I believed the "drugs are evil, don't do them!" propaganda. Moderation is key. And not being a dumbass.
If this is your view, why have you decided to stop completely and not just 'moderate' your drug use to 'special occasions'?
Because I just don't feel like it haha. Simple as that.
I'm rooting for you man. Drugs may be a part of some people's lives forever, but to most, they're just a phase. If you feel you got what you wanted out of them, then why pursue them further? That only leads to addiction.
I think you made a good choice.
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Hygrocybe
Walkin Wonderland



Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 1,227
Last seen: 6 months, 1 day
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: Midnight_Toker]
#14988753 - 08/27/11 08:44 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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You were so close to starting a new religion, you just needed followers.
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ShroomXolomilco
The Man


Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 441
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: Midnight_Toker]
#14988810 - 08/27/11 09:00 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Midnight_Toker said:
Quote:
ShroomXolomilco said:
Quote:
Aldous Huxley said:
Quote:
ShroomXolomilco said: Drugs have shown me that drugs aren't bad at all. Before I did drugs I believed the "drugs are evil, don't do them!" propaganda. Moderation is key. And not being a dumbass.
If this is your view, why have you decided to stop completely and not just 'moderate' your drug use to 'special occasions'?
Because I just don't feel like it haha. Simple as that.
I'm rooting for you man. Drugs may be a part of some people's lives forever, but to most, they're just a phase. If you feel you got what you wanted out of them, then why pursue them further? That only leads to addiction.
I think you made a good choice.
EXACTLY. You worded it perfectly!
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Midnight_Toker
Gone Fishin'


Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 11,589
Loc: Canada
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Still hoping for joemolloy's answer, and everybody is free to contribute their feelings or experiences.
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airclay
Morbid and Wrong




Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 2,788
Loc: Texas
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: Midnight_Toker]
#14990276 - 08/28/11 09:16 AM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I went from coke to pills to tar and finally tar/ice over 6yrs after graduating HS. Lots of mdma and lsd before using tar. I've quit all that 2 years now just having fun in my head w/ things I can grow/extract.
While I do think life could've been much easier had I not let drugs influence me, I wouldn't change anything. My understanding of the world is much richer now. I've come to appreciate simpler things and am much more self aware.
-------------------- Give no fucks, take no orders, smash the prisons and the borders. Circle that A motherfucker!
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Snoogansflip
Ashtronaut



Registered: 04/08/10
Posts: 293
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: airclay]
#14990825 - 08/28/11 11:17 AM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
airclay said: While I do think life could've been much easier had I not let drugs influence me, I wouldn't change anything. My understanding of the world is much richer now. I've come to appreciate simpler things and am much more self aware.
I agree, good sir. Drugs have ultimately gotten me in more trouble than I ever needed, but I don't regret using them. I've also had incredible bonding experiences under the influence of drugs that I wouldn't trade for the anything.
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: Midnight_Toker]
#14992581 - 08/28/11 05:27 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Midnight_Toker said:
Quote:
joemolloy said: This mind doesn't need any tweaking, any additional empathy or kindness or understanding. Show me pretty fucking colors, make me laugh, and give me a few WHAT THE FUCKING IS GOING?!!!!! moments and I'm happy.
Do you consider yourself an already empathetic, kind and understanding person? To what degree? Have psychedelics not played an influential role in your life?
I see the pointlessness in being too empathetic, kind and understanding, but that doesn't stop me. Nothing matters except your own subjective view, so I try not to judge anybody and let them live their life the way they want to.
My extreme sensitivity to my own and others emotions makes me who I am. It may be a disadvantage in a lot of ways, but I wouldn't want to change it for anything. I love feeling other people's emotions as if they were my own, be it the happiest joy or deepest sorrow. Although I realize that, objectively, nothing really matters, I still find solace when I feel a connection with other people.
Edit: I edited my final sentence in the OP. It's not great but I'm kind of hurting from last night. It was hard enough to coherently type that monstrosity of an OP earlier. I'm just saying that I fully agree with you that it wasn't the drug that changed me, I changed myself. It did play it's part though.
Psychedelics can certainly temporarily make one more compassionate, sensitive to the feelings of others, and even altruistic. A few days or weeks after a strong trip can bring about certain feelings of peaceful awe about life. The fact that you have experienced even a temporary shift has the potential to lead to lasting changes. Imagine you went to a different country and absorbed the culture, met the people, and sampled daily life. When you came home, you wouldn't be one of the natives of the land you just left. However, you may have digested, incorporated, and held tight to something from the trip. In the same way, psychedelic drugs probably can lead to change. Of course this change is a double-edged sword and we have less control than we think over the precise nature of the changes. You and I both were sliced badly by playing carelessly with it, but that's not to say that you didn't glean some insights about yourself.
I don't think the drugs have made me more compassionate or sensitive in the long term. Sure, the caapi in my ayahuasca had powerful effects on me for a while, but it electrified my personality grid rather than altering it. Midnight Toker, the best way to take drugs is to not take them. If you are going to use them anyway, they should be severely moderated. After a while, they'll rattle your cage no matter how centered and cemented you think you are.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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rainhawk
Frontier Herbsman


Registered: 05/26/10
Posts: 123
Loc: U.S/ Mexico BORDER
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
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Re: How Have Drugs Influenced Your Life? [Re: joemolloy]
#14992626 - 08/28/11 05:35 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Well, I dont regret taking any. But Drugs have been a great part of my learning process. Even mistakes.
To what I refer to as medicines now, are considered drugs. Some, ive taken, which are drugs. Such as Synthetics.
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