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Me_Roy
Stranger
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 3,230
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: Azure Essence]
#14886068 - 08/07/11 03:22 PM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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If bad decisions are beyond your control when you get drunk, then getting drunk is a bad decision for you.
Had your regret been deeper, you might have thought again before hitting the bottle.
If you're distracted by your iPod while driving and accidentally bump a kid on a bike and hurt him/her, or course you didn't willfully hurt this person -- you were just looking for the right song. But the responsibility is nonetheless yours.
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luckee8989
Stranger
Registered: 08/03/11
Posts: 175
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: Me_Roy]
#14886808 - 08/07/11 05:57 PM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah you're right. And I have scaled back my drinking.
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Me_Roy
Stranger
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 3,230
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: luckee8989]
#14888135 - 08/07/11 11:26 PM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
luckee8989 said: Yeah you're right. And I have scaled back my drinking.
I wish I knewhow to insert the hug graemlin. Sorry for being preachy. Everyone's trying to be good.
Alright, maybe not everyone...
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withoutawire
hi


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 11,384
Loc: Honolulu, Hawaii
Last seen: 7 months, 15 days
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: Me_Roy] 1
#14888911 - 08/08/11 06:37 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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OP, if you think you've "hashed" things out you haven't. You will feel okay for weeks maybe a little longer. You will think about and it more and more and realize MORE and MORE what bullshit this is. it will eat away at you, and destroy how you feel about her.
Deep down inside you know this is fucked. You know she is using bullshit excuses to justify the worst thing your partner can do to you. You can resolve these things and move on, but you have just masked your feelings and you can only go so long before the truth gets to you.
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: llevitron]
#14888949 - 08/08/11 06:51 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Ive had this happen to me and I agree that it probably was consensual on her part.
Well...I like to look at it this way...if someone says/does something while drunk that they wouldnt do sober...they are still thinking about it when they are sober, even subconsciously but arent dis-inhibited enough to act on it.
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Quote:
MisterMuscaria said: Ive had this happen to me and I agree that it probably was consensual on her part.
Well...I like to look at it this way...if someone says/does something while drunk that they wouldnt do sober...they are still thinking about it when they are sober, even subconsciously but arent dis-inhibited enough to act on it.
@OP, I hope everything works out with you and ur girl. But I would be wary in the future. I think she is pretty good at manipulating you
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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withoutawire
hi


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 11,384
Loc: Honolulu, Hawaii
Last seen: 7 months, 15 days
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When else in life is being intoxicated EVER an excuse for wrong behavior, doing something illegal (teeny tiny exceptions and I'm talking USA), or lying.
Cheating while intoxicated is by far the LEAST excusable thing while intoxicated. You are in a relationship filled with feelings and emotions and all sorts of stuff in your subconscious that comes out and tells you DO NOT DO THIS while you're intoxicated. When it comes to a relationship, this subconscious has to scream more than any other instance.
You think you 'worked it out', but it's going to eat you away. You can't work this out the way you did. This takes a lot of effort, talking, and instances where you are going to be fluttered with emotions of anger and sadness when you are with her in sexual situations, social situations, alone situations, etc. You have to be able to talk about those emotions RIGHT AWAY otherwise they will consume you. Your woman has be prepared to talk the wrath of emotions that you are going to take out on her the next 2-4 weeks as you TRULY cope with your feelings if that's what you are actually doing.
Otherwise anger and jealously and sadness will slow come out in the most random situation. You will start fighting or not getting along, because these awful feelings WILL overwhelm you for brief moments and you relationship will slowly crumble.
The only way to have success is to talk about this a lot more and realize you are going to have to keep talking about it over and over and over for weeks maybe months.
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SabbraCadabra
Stranger


Registered: 08/04/11
Posts: 9
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: withoutawire]
#14889141 - 08/08/11 08:15 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
withoutawire said: OP, if you think you've "hashed" things out you haven't. You will feel okay for weeks maybe a little longer. You will think about and it more and more and realize MORE and MORE what bullshit this is. it will eat away at you, and destroy how you feel about her.
Deep down inside you know this is fucked. You know she is using bullshit excuses to justify the worst thing your partner can do to you. You can resolve these things and move on, but you have just masked your feelings and you can only go so long before the truth gets to you.
I lost every bit of respect I once had for my girlfriend when I found out she had slept with another man, and trying to rebuild that has been the hardest part of all.
So many deliberate decisions go in to cheating - and no matter how much says she is changing her ways, she already showed me how little respect she has for me.
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: SabbraCadabra]
#14889499 - 08/08/11 09:53 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm surprised this thread is still alive. I don't think any unique advice has been offered since like the 2nd page.
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dshow
Nomad



Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: memes]
#14889544 - 08/08/11 10:06 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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It will never endd

Show yourself again OP. Lol
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Big Worm
Perf



Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 7,642
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: dshow]
#14889583 - 08/08/11 10:19 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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ha i honestly doubt OP wants to keep being reminded of this thread or that night.
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Billahat
Orbital




Registered: 07/03/11
Posts: 115
Loc: Space
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: Big Worm]
#14889595 - 08/08/11 10:21 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I would give that nancy a fuckin' good kickin' That's borderline rape and a good ass kicking is totally justified. quote]
Agree, I feel ya I have unfortunatly been there, exactly where you are. It hurts but the pain is only there if you focus on it. If you two are meant to be together then it wont hold you two back from that. Best of luck, let us know how it pans out.
-------------------- ::DEMAPPING & REMAPPING::
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: SabbraCadabra]
#14889977 - 08/08/11 12:09 PM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
SabbraCadabra said:
Quote:
withoutawire said: OP, if you think you've "hashed" things out you haven't. You will feel okay for weeks maybe a little longer. You will think about and it more and more and realize MORE and MORE what bullshit this is. it will eat away at you, and destroy how you feel about her.
Deep down inside you know this is fucked. You know she is using bullshit excuses to justify the worst thing your partner can do to you. You can resolve these things and move on, but you have just masked your feelings and you can only go so long before the truth gets to you.
I lost every bit of respect I once had for my girlfriend when I found out she had slept with another man, and trying to rebuild that has been the hardest part of all.
So many deliberate decisions go in to cheating - and no matter how much says she is changing her ways, she already showed me how little respect she has for me.
You know, you've brought this up in like 8 threads. You need to break up with her.
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dshow
Nomad



Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly [Re: pwnasaurus]
#14891237 - 08/08/11 04:04 PM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
SabbraCadabra said:
Quote:
withoutawire said: OP, if you think you've "hashed" things out you haven't. You will feel okay for weeks maybe a little longer. You will think about and it more and more and realize MORE and MORE what bullshit this is. it will eat away at you, and destroy how you feel about her.
Deep down inside you know this is fucked. You know she is using bullshit excuses to justify the worst thing your partner can do to you. You can resolve these things and move on, but you have just masked your feelings and you can only go so long before the truth gets to you.
I lost every bit of respect I once had for my girlfriend when I found out she had slept with another man, and trying to rebuild that has been the hardest part of all.
So many deliberate decisions go in to cheating - and no matter how much says she is changing her ways, she already showed me how little respect she has for me.
You know, you've brought this up in like 8 threads. You need to break up with her.
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