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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14889821 -

Sex without friendship hurts in the long run IME and can not be called romantic.
Friendship is sharing dreams, too.
That makes out romance in a relation - as far as I see.


--------------------
Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
......................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14889937 -

Romance is mostly a visceral thing, geared to function with a minimal set of requirements. This base aspect doesn't really cover the 'higher purpose' of romance. That is the promise of love. It's what everyone really wants from romance deep down, which is complete and unconditional acceptance. This state lets you know you don't need to 'fear the reaper'.

So it has everything to do with death anxiety, and love is the one thing the ego fears as much as death because love disconnects the ego from it's prominence in mind. Love is like death to the ego. Therefore, it's possible for a person to accept the visceral, and fake the love, play the part and achieve the biological aims.

Therefore we end up with loveless mothers and fathers, raising little loveless children, growing up in a mostly loveless societys, learning to lovelessly eek out an existance in the shady half hell creation we have made, all because the ego doesn't want to die. Better to live in hell than die.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love     truth awareness peace I am      I feel      I do     I love  I speak    I see    I know

why there is reality and patterned, law-like consistency at all, rather than noise or non-reality is not a question physics answers. It's a question physics presupposes an answer to in order to provide other answers.

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Re: Romance? [Re: Rahz]
    #14890043 -

Pretty powerful response there.  I'd like to here some comments on this one.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14890074 -

Icelander said:
guruu said:
Love is what makes the world go round man, if you have a true connection with somebody then spending time around them is a beautiful thing.  Sex is great too, but it's important to realize that it's not the whole point.  This life is a chance to create something amazing for yourself and having romance is just a huge part of the diversity and storybook quality to our existence.



What is romance?

Btw I don't think you're correct about what makes the world go around.  Did you get that from a Hallmark card?


Haha I knew you would disagree about that.  Romance is a form of heart connection.  I know you don't think in this system but it really is the best way I could describe it. You don't have to agree with the idea of "Chakras," just think of this as different psychological levels people can bond on.

Friendship is when the heart and maybe power, and other upper chakras are activated. Parent/family relationships are united in the heart and the root chakra, and potentially upper chakras as well like the third eye (imagination).

Romance is when you have a heart connection, probably a power connection, and also a sex connection in ur dick chakra.  So it's love but not the purest kind.  It's fully possible to have love and only unite in terms of communication, imagination, and even mystic union at the crown chakra.  But it's romantic love that is so important to the spread of genes and the species and that's why the birds and the bees are a beautiful thing to experience as a physical being.


--------------------
check out my music!
drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss

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Re: Romance? [Re: Rahz]
    #14890235 -

Rahz said:
This base aspect doesn't really cover the 'higher purpose' of romance.


What purpose would romance serve after a person accepts themselves unconditionally?


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain

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Re: Romance? [Re: Kickle]
    #14890583 -

No purpose.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love     truth awareness peace I am      I feel      I do     I love  I speak    I see    I know

why there is reality and patterned, law-like consistency at all, rather than noise or non-reality is not a question physics answers. It's a question physics presupposes an answer to in order to provide other answers.

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Re: Romance? [Re: Rahz]
    #14890641 -

Even though I don't accept myself completely unconditionally I've made great strides recently and now for the first time the thought of romance leaves me somewhat  dry.  It seems like a huge production where I have to remember all my lines.  Lines I once convinced myself were "real" and not a passion play.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14890671 -

Quote:
It seems like a huge production where I have to remember all my lines. 


See my guidelines on dating and on being yourself.


--------------------

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14891207 -

Oxytocin release @ early age = everyone is hooked. That stuff's better than drugs. I'm not convinced there's really anything more to it.


--------------------
Little left in the way of energy; or the way of love, yet happy to entertain myself playing mental games with the rest of you freaks until the rivers run backwards. 

"Chat your fraff
Chat your fraff
Just chat your fraff
Chat your fraff"

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Re: Romance? [Re: Grapefruit]
    #14891212 -

The chemical soup.:thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Romance? [Re: Grapefruit]
    #14891217 -

Grapefruit said:
Oxytocin release @ early age = everyone is hooked. That stuff's better than drugs. I'm not convinced there's really anything more to it.


This is my favorite answer so far.


--------------------
Live your Life! :heart:

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Re: Romance? [Re: Rahz]
    #14891403 -

Rahz said:
Romance is mostly a visceral thing, geared to function with a minimal set of requirements. This base aspect doesn't really cover the 'higher purpose' of romance. That is the promise of love. It's what everyone really wants from romance deep down, which is complete and unconditional acceptance. This state lets you know you don't need to 'fear the reaper'.

So it has everything to do with death anxiety, and love is the one thing the ego fears as much as death because love disconnects the ego from it's prominence in mind. Love is like death to the ego. Therefore, it's possible for a person to accept the visceral, and fake the love, play the part and achieve the biological aims.

Therefore we end up with loveless mothers and fathers, raising little loveless children, growing up in a mostly loveless societys, learning to lovelessly eek out an existance in the shady half hell creation we have made, all because the ego doesn't want to die. Better to live in hell than die.


That is a pretty damn good answer...

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14891654 -

Icelander said:
Men and women want to connect. To make love to each other and experience orgasm.  Without the orgasm, the sexual act, I wonder how much we would want to spend our time co-habitating?  Have you ever wondered about this?  What is romance? Where does it come from, as in what emotional need or state? Why does it seem necessary to the bonding of men and women?  It seems not to last in many relationships.  Some people seem able to function without it. However most people cannot seem to be happy without it or the possibility of it.  I've been thinking about this lately. What is romance and why is it so important?

Any ideas?


To be honest romance just makes sex that much better. Sex of course is vital to our species. Making sex the most pleasurable experience possible helps further our species future and that is where romance comes in. Its not necessary but it helps, ya know?:super:


--------------------
"Life sucks but in this really beautiful way" - Axl Rose
"Life's a bitch and then you die that's why we get high cuz you never know when you're gonna go." - NAS
"When people don't know what you're about they put you down and shut you out" - Black Sabbath
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" - Gandhi
"Look up at me I am God, look down on me and I am evil, look at me I am you." - Charles Manson.
"Don't question my reality." - Me (as far as I know)

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Re: Romance? [Re: SlashOZ]
    #14891664 -

What is romance?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14891761 -

Icelander said:
What is romance?


I guess i only answered the why it is important aspect.

Romance, to me, is that preference of attraction we feel toward others. Not only are we drawn to them but we feel a need to connect with them on a level deeper than anyone else in a way that we reserve for only them.


--------------------
"Life sucks but in this really beautiful way" - Axl Rose
"Life's a bitch and then you die that's why we get high cuz you never know when you're gonna go." - NAS
"When people don't know what you're about they put you down and shut you out" - Black Sabbath
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" - Gandhi
"Look up at me I am God, look down on me and I am evil, look at me I am you." - Charles Manson.
"Don't question my reality." - Me (as far as I know)

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14891798 -

Icelander said:
What is romance?


Even if I knew I suspect that to verbalize it would not be possible.  At least in any meaningful way. 

I watched a cool show about Death Valley and the creatures that struggle to inhabit it.  The male tarantula has a "romantic" challenge.  He gets to mate if lucky once in 10 years.  The females live 2x that long and are quite choosy and can be mean as well.  The male must impress her with the sound of his legs at the entry to her den.  She may come out to mate or eat him or not at all.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.

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Re: Romance? [Re: SlashOZ]
    #14892461 -

SlashOZ said:
Icelander said:
What is romance?


I guess i only answered the why it is important aspect.

Romance, to me, is that preference of attraction we feel toward others. Not only are we drawn to them but we feel a need to connect with them on a level deeper than anyone else in a way that we reserve for only them.



what kind of attraction?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Romance? [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #14892464 -

LunarEclipse said:
Icelander said:
What is romance?


Even if I knew I suspect that to verbalize it would not be possible.  At least in any meaningful way. 

I watched a cool show about Death Valley and the creatures that struggle to inhabit it.  The male tarantula has a "romantic" challenge.  He gets to mate if lucky once in 10 years.  The females live 2x that long and are quite choosy and can be mean as well.  The male must impress her with the sound of his legs at the entry to her den.  She may come out to mate or eat him or not at all.



Never liked spiders much.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14892591 -

Icelander said:
SlashOZ said:
Icelander said:
What is romance?


I guess i only answered the why it is important aspect.

Romance, to me, is that preference of attraction we feel toward others. Not only are we drawn to them but we feel a need to connect with them on a level deeper than anyone else in a way that we reserve for only them.



what kind of attraction?


reproductive of course.


--------------------
"Life sucks but in this really beautiful way" - Axl Rose
"Life's a bitch and then you die that's why we get high cuz you never know when you're gonna go." - NAS
"When people don't know what you're about they put you down and shut you out" - Black Sabbath
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" - Gandhi
"Look up at me I am God, look down on me and I am evil, look at me I am you." - Charles Manson.
"Don't question my reality." - Me (as far as I know)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14892756 -

Icelander said:
LunarEclipse said:
Icelander said:
What is romance?


Even if I knew I suspect that to verbalize it would not be possible.  At least in any meaningful way. 

I watched a cool show about Death Valley and the creatures that struggle to inhabit it.  The male tarantula has a "romantic" challenge.  He gets to mate if lucky once in 10 years.  The females live 2x that long and are quite choosy and can be mean as well.  The male must impress her with the sound of his legs at the entry to her den.  She may come out to mate or eat him or not at all.



Never liked spiders much.


Well fine then.  Be that way.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.

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