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Romance?
    #14887380 -

Men and women want to connect. To make love to each other and experience orgasm.  Without the orgasm, the sexual act, I wonder how much we would want to spend our time co-habitating?  Have you ever wondered about this?  What is romance? Where does it come from, as in what emotional need or state? Why does it seem necessary to the bonding of men and women?  It seems not to last in many relationships.  Some people seem able to function without it. However most people cannot seem to be happy without it or the possibility of it.  I've been thinking about this lately. What is romance and why is it so important?

Any ideas?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14887396 -

Applying occams razor here the obvious answer is bollocks.

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14888023 -

Icelander said:
Men and women want to connect. To make love to each other and experience orgasm.  Without the orgasm, the sexual act, I wonder how much we would want to spend our time co-habitating?  Have you ever wondered about this?  What is romance? Where does it come from, as in what emotional need or state? Why does it seem necessary to the bonding of men and women?  It seems not to last in many relationships.  Some people seem able to function without it. However most people cannot seem to be happy without it or the possibility of it.  I've been thinking about this lately. What is romance and why is it so important?

Any ideas?



I don't think romance is anything important. Love is only as deep as the compatibility of the needs between two individuals. So your question about sex is that no; and the primary reason is that sex is a need human beings have and if not met humans will find it elsewhere.

The feeling of romance seems to be mostly from the prospect of sex and many sexual experiences to come. When you look at the sexual partner you imagine how in the future they will be there to please you.


--------------------
if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...


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Re: Romance? [Re: AlphaFalfa]
    #14888072 -

Well if it's not important, and I tend to agree, then why all the love songs and romance novels and movies etc. Why all the need for that stuff?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14888158 -

because when two become one then you're never alone
NEVER!

:foreveralone:


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain

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Re: Romance? [Re: AlphaFalfa]
    #14888193 -

AlphaFalfa said:
I don't think romance is anything important. Love is only as deep as the compatibility of the needs between two individuals. So your question about sex is that no; and the primary reason is that sex is a need human beings have and if not met humans will find it elsewhere.

The feeling of romance seems to be mostly from the prospect of sex and many sexual experiences to come. When you look at the sexual partner you imagine how in the future they will be there to please you.


So are you saying people can't connect on a deeper level than being horny? I find that hard to believe.

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Re: Romance? [Re: Kickle]
    #14888624 -

Kickle said:
because when two become one then you're never alone
NEVER!

:foreveralone:



I think this is a tough thread for all the young romantics out there which is most of the young here I'm guessing.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Romance? [Re: Kickle]
    #14888755 -

Kickle said:
because when two become one then you're never alone
NEVER!

:foreveralone:


^ Where does it come from, as in what emotional need or state?

I also think that certain movies and books are another major factor in this. Romance is often portrayed as something that works out, which statistics prove otherwise. No two people will ever feel the same way about each other IMO. At least not for their whole life. No matter how fun something is we eventually lose interest in it, unless our compatibility is really high (the really rare exceptions where it works out).

"I'm the best you could get and you're the best I could get" some comedian on comedy central.

What is romance?

I'm not sure I know the exact definition, so I will make a assumption here. My guess is it's somewhere on a continuum from worship (loneliness) to turn on (mask). At least from my experience. Sort of a been there done that sort of thing. Currently I find it a turn on for some reason. A heat of the moment thing. Beyond that I think it's just a way of sugar coating our sexual desires.

why is it so important?

Death anxiety. :satansmoking:


--------------------
"It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and forget his own." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."  - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it." -Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14888962 -

Icelander said:
Men and women want to connect. To make love to each other and experience orgasm.  Without the orgasm, the sexual act, I wonder how much we would want to spend our time co-habitating?  Have you ever wondered about this?  What is romance? Where does it come from, as in what emotional need or state? Why does it seem necessary to the bonding of men and women?  It seems not to last in many relationships.  Some people seem able to function without it. However most people cannot seem to be happy without it or the possibility of it.  I've been thinking about this lately. What is romance and why is it so important?

Any ideas?


Even without the orgasm we would have an urge to reproduce in order for our species to continue existing. However, without orgasm we would probably be much more picky. I know that for me personally, if I don't find the girl extremely attractive and don't enjoy her personality, I lose all interest as soon as I cum.


--------------------
Live your Life! :heart:

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Re: Romance? [Re: 4896744]
    #14889429 -

More and more I'm noticing people on here doubting human potential..

So what about the idea of having friends? I'll admit that a lot of relationships/acquaintances are phony, but I do have 1 real good friend that I practically consider as my brother. And obviously there are no sexual motives involved, so what do you guys make of that sort of relationship? Are we just using eachother for some type of other nonsexual satisfaction?

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Re: Romance? [Re: Ran-D]
    #14889447 -

We aren't talking about friendship in this thread. I do believe it's possible that you and your one true friend are having an authentic friendship though.


--------------------
"It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and forget his own." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."  - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it." -Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14889460 -

Love is what makes the world go round man, if you have a true connection with somebody then spending time around them is a beautiful thing.  Sex is great too, but it's important to realize that it's not the whole point.  This life is a chance to create something amazing for yourself and having romance is just a huge part of the diversity and storybook quality to our existence.


--------------------
check out my music!
drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss

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Re: Romance? [Re: dustinthewind13]
    #14889495 -

dustinthewind13 said:
why is it so important?
Death anxiety. :satansmoking:


Why does it have anything to do with death? No one wants to be alone. Even if you were immortal you would still want someone next to you.

It may start with physical attraction, but it goes way beyond that. A functioning lasting relationship can rely on a lot of factors: What day the people were born on, what they've experienced in their own life, what they've experienced together, etc etc... Love is a very strong connection/friendship that just happens to have sex as a benefit. And a strong relationship enhances the quality of sex IMO..

You guys might call me a "young romantic", but it's not like I have some cheesy Hallmark mentality. I just think the whole Freudian idea of humans only wanting sex is pretty simple minded.

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Re: Romance? [Re: Ran-D]
    #14889521 -

Yeah, it's more about power than sex imo, if anything.  If you have a romantic partner that sort of liberates you and lets you dream big, at least for me...


--------------------
check out my music!
drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss

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Re: Romance? [Re: g00ru]
    #14889533 -

[idealistic rant/]

and as long as i'm on the subject, fuck labels like "girlfriend" and "in a relationship."  That shit just fucks you up. Love is enough, you don't have to enter into a contract.

[/idealistic rant]


--------------------
check out my music!
drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss

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Re: Romance? [Re: Ran-D]
    #14889593 -

Ran-D said:
Why does it have anything to do with death? No one wants to be alone. Even if you were immortal you would still want someone next to you.



Of course no one wants to be alone but very very rarely is anyone ever alone. There is so much life around us at all points, we just selectively choose the life that we want because it fulfills a drive. And without that drive fulfilled we feel bad. Nothing any more romantic about fulfilling the sex drive than taking a shit IMO, and the inability to shit makes us feel pretty crummy too.


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain

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Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14889608 -

Icelander said:
Well if it's not important, and I tend to agree, then why all the love songs and romance novels and movies etc. Why all the need for that stuff?



Because of our spiritual idea's and mostly the need to reconcile with out god that we are feeling lust which is something intrinsically wrong.

Most romantic song's usually have an element of spirituality.

"I love your soul, I love who you are not your body" Etc.

This is really just denial and an open attempt to be in denial.

Does that mean that romance is all lust? No, it just makes up the majority of what we experience as lust.

It is when you accept this that your lust can evolve into a more stable form, one that takes into account all the imperfections that arises when having a romantic relationship with someone.

It's ironic; what we repress(lust), progresses. It's ironic that in a society that constantly romanticizes relationships suffers from infidelity and broken hearts.

I see things for what they are, no matter how I feel and it makes life better. Does that mean I know what things trully are; no I am probally wrong, but I never let go of a great reason to change to feel comfortable with myself.


--------------------
if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...


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Re: Romance? [Re: Ran-D]
    #14889627 -

Why does it have anything to do with death?

That's a hard one to explain. If you want to know why I think that way I would suggest Icelanders usual book suggestion "Ernest Becker: The Denial of Death". After I read the book I started thinking everything is death anxiety. At first I was skeptic of the idea, but Becker makes a lot of sense IMO. I still believe that life is more complex than only death anxiety. I also think that people are able to connect on a deeper and sincere level. I also also think that who we connect in a romantic way depends mostly on our sexual desires that stem from our death anxiety. I think everything stems from death anxiety. I can however be wrong. I post here to get feedback on my ideas.


--------------------
"It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and forget his own." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."  - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it." -Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Romance? [Re: g00ru]
    #14889735 -

guruu said:
Love is what makes the world go round man, if you have a true connection with somebody then spending time around them is a beautiful thing.  Sex is great too, but it's important to realize that it's not the whole point.  This life is a chance to create something amazing for yourself and having romance is just a huge part of the diversity and storybook quality to our existence.



What is romance?

Btw I don't think you're correct about what makes the world go around.  Did you get that from a Hallmark card?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Romance? [Re: Icelander]
    #14889814 -

To understand the importance of romance, you must ask a woman.  They are the ones who seem to require it.  I have absolutely no romantic feelings on my own, for me it comes as a logical decision based the on the value I place on the female.  If she is worth it, I bring flowers home without being asked, give her chocolate hearts after a homemade dinner.  Not because I have a need to do any of this, but it shows her I appreciate her.
Romance to a women is an act of her lover that shows an unselfish compassion for her comfort and happiness.  Its all about reproduction.  The women doesn't want to breed with an unworthy specimen, unable or unwilling to care for the offspring that naturally comes with a romantic relationship between man and women.  Romantic displays tells the female, on some level, that this guy will take the time out to ensure his mate's and offspring's comfort.

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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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