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Anonymous #1

Re: HOW TO DUMP a GIRL YOU LOVE [Re: Simms]
    #14860516 - 08/02/11 08:24 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

problem is, I really love her and feel like it is my duty to help her v_v

But I am currently writing a long letter explaining my feelings.

I abandoned her last night and she cried for hours. seriously she cried and cried and didnt eat anything, I havnt spoken to her today and I seriously worry for her safety.


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InvisibleTheEnd
Strange Daze

Registered: 09/04/06
Posts: 1,021
Re: HOW TO DUMP a GIRL YOU LOVE [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14862188 - 08/02/11 02:35 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
problem is, I really love her and feel like it is my duty to help her v_v

But I am currently writing a long letter explaining my feelings.

I abandoned her last night and she cried for hours. seriously she cried and cried and didnt eat anything, I havnt spoken to her today and I seriously worry for her safety.




Sounds like you're being the good guy who screws himself over with guilt.

I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say that your girlfriends relationship with her father is either strained or non-existent? If so, you're basically trying to fill the shoes of a father figure AND a boyfriend. No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to fill both sets of shoes. She's gotta work that type of stuff out for herself and not be bringing it into her relationships the way she is. She expects too much of you and makes you feel guilty when you fall short.

I could be totally wrong though and just be talking out my ass. :awenuhuh:


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Anonymous #1

Re: HOW TO DUMP a GIRL YOU LOVE [Re: TheEnd]
    #14862223 - 08/02/11 02:41 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

yeah, well i dont usually feel that guilty. I will feel guilty if she harms herself though


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OfflineBipolarbear
Stranger with candy
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Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 828
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: HOW TO DUMP a GIRL YOU LOVE [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14864144 - 08/02/11 08:43 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

After dating more than my fair share of crazy bitches I have learned the hard way as you will learn that you should never be in a relationship where you are trying to fix the other.  It's not your duty to help her/fix her.  Buy an old car and fix it up or renovate an old house but don't waste your time trying to fix your partner.


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OfflineSHE
Stranger
Female

Registered: 08/02/11
Posts: 1
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: HOW TO DUMP a GIRL YOU LOVE [Re: tripp23]
    #14865397 - 08/03/11 01:17 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Give her the gift of missing you.  In other words, go silent for a few days.  Say you're working on a project (which is true, the project being making her miss you).  Or say whatever.  All's fair in love and war (well, not cheating).  See if she misses you.  See if she gets scared that you have a new woman.  See if she suddenly wants sex because now she is not taking you for granted.  Or, sadly, if she doesn't even notice.  If that's the case, you want to know asap.

Recognize this:  She can't miss you if you're always around.

And definitely stop all that texting.  It's satisfying her, so she doesn't need more.


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Anonymous #1

Re: HOW TO DUMP a GIRL YOU LOVE [Re: SHE]
    #14870739 - 08/04/11 04:39 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

she misses me if im gone for very little amount of time.

she gets terribly jealous

although i know i shouldnt try to 'change' her, I do not believe it is right to give up one other people who have a good will. She is not a bad person as far as Im aware and I do not know if she deserves to be abandoned.

At the same time, she doesnt put any effort into her other relationships. So maybe it is karma?

I appreciate all the advice here. Though really, a lot of people seem to be forgetting that I actually love her. she isnt just a root or something. She isnt just a crazy bitch. She is part of me, like all of the people I love or have loved.

So my main question is about how to leave someone while creating the least amount of pain and resentment. Is it even possible?


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OfflineEnjoywho
Rags to Bitches
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: HOW TO DUMP a GIRL YOU LOVE [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14872323 - 08/04/11 01:13 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Makes complete sense my friend. Ive actually just said bye to my girl today. I love her to death but i know its the right decision. Just do what you feel u need to do op. Love is addicting, ive seen many a junkie lose themselves to dope, and love is no different. Dont forget who YOU are.


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"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Anonymous #3

Re: HOW TO DUMP a GIRL YOU LOVE [Re: Enjoywho]
    #14908179 - 08/11/11 07:40 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Let me guess, you're still together?


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Anonymous #4

Re: HOW TO DUMP a GIRL YOU LOVE [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #14916811 - 08/13/11 04:58 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Gonna offer up the same advice my buddies gave me:

You decision is made.

Now my advice:

You fucking don't man, it takes you down a dark fucking path that blows. You'll realize that though you may not be comfortable with where it's going, when you're ready for it, you've got it. Think of it this way, if she didn't love the way shit was going, you would know, so tell her what you think but work out your problems without fucking up an amazing thing.

This is from experience, I needed it, but realized she was the only thing I could think of when I'd try to think, and the only person I wanted to talk to. Thankfully she loves me enough she took me back, and it's 2 years later and we are just now (we meaning I) getting back to half of how amazing the relationship was. It was so amazing and I fucked it up, I'd take it back in a heartbeat if I could.


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