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The Whale
Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc:
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Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro
#14797613 - 07/20/11 12:41 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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They should mass produce these things and install them into prison cell walls. Regular ejaculations have been shown to be anxiolytic and reduces violent tendencies. Once the statistics come out that prove my device calms America's most dangerous criminals (you know, marijuana users and the like), I shall receive the Nobel Peace prize.
Maybe I'm just confused by my weird boner.
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PurpleKush
Rational Lunatic
Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 3,421
Loc: Above The Law
Last seen: 4 years, 4 days
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: The Whale]
#14797628 - 07/20/11 12:44 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm not putting my dick into anything that has pistons.
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biff
Boom
Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 1,860
Loc: america
Last seen: 23 days, 6 hours
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: The Whale]
#14797633 - 07/20/11 12:44 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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seems like hygiene would be an issue in your theory.
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The Whale
Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc:
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: biff]
#14797636 - 07/20/11 12:46 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
biff said: seems like hygiene would be an issue in your theory.
Prison duty often includes janitor work.
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ToastedTubby
hiring writers
Registered: 02/11/11
Posts: 204
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: The Whale] 1
#14797652 - 07/20/11 12:50 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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sounds like id be face fucking a deaf, dumb, and blind 30 year old cripple. where do i buy this
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PeterPanda209
Who has BitCoins?
Registered: 06/29/11
Posts: 6,016
Loc: •FrEsH CoAsT
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: ToastedTubby]
#14797674 - 07/20/11 12:56 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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As long as it's making those sounds while I shove my junk it I'll for sure get off
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The Whale
Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc:
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: PeterPanda209]
#14797698 - 07/20/11 01:03 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Now we're talking.
I'm thinking of hiring a left-brained Asian fellow to work on the protege, whom I intend to pay only in rice noodles. Mass production will of course commence on good American soil. Since we've learned how to sublimate our sexual desires through the assembly line it's only appropriate that Yankee Doodle machines pump out dick pumps for prison pimps.
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shLong
Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: ToastedTubby]
#14797715 - 07/20/11 01:06 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
PeterPanda209 said: As long as it's making those sounds while I shove my junk it I'll for sure get off
Quote:
ToastedTubby said: sounds like id be face fucking a deaf, dumb, and blind 30 year old cripple. where do i buy this
Hilarious
But yeah, anything that has pistons or rack and pinion = no dick
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Smitington
Unidentified Flying Object
Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 1,408
Loc: Mushroom Kingdom
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: shLong]
#14797808 - 07/20/11 01:24 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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this thread is full of win
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nice1
Not the droid your looking for
Registered: 09/26/09
Posts: 10,449
Loc: earth
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: ToastedTubby]
#14798092 - 07/20/11 02:17 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
ToastedTubby said: sounds like id be face fucking a deaf, dumb, and blind 30 year old cripple. where do i buy this
Oh dear. Thats my first real LOL in a while.
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propensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶
Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: ToastedTubby]
#14798109 - 07/20/11 02:22 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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this thread
-------------------- ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ ̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆
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4runner
Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: propensity]
#14798133 - 07/20/11 02:28 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I would rather have this one, pop in a POV blow job DVD and put a wig on it,
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!
Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: 4runner]
#14798169 - 07/20/11 02:34 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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This idea has been used before, not in prisons but in the home, to calm the violent temperament of housewives condemned to menial labor and inadequate appreciation.
Female Hysteria - Nineteenth Century
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,822
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 11 hours, 56 minutes
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#14798185 - 07/20/11 02:37 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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HAHhahHAHHAHHAhhahahahHAHHa
That video made made my day.
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realfuzzhead
Registered: 03/03/10
Posts: 10,783
Loc: above the smog layer
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: PurpleKush]
#14798191 - 07/20/11 02:39 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
PurpleKush said:
I'm not putting my dick into anything that has pistons.
quote of the day
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Yacub
Psychedelic Redneck
Registered: 09/05/09
Posts: 989
Loc: NOLA
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: realfuzzhead] 4
#14798889 - 07/20/11 04:42 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!
Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Jack-off Device: Simultaneously Futuristic and Retro [Re: Yacub]
#14798896 - 07/20/11 04:43 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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