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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells



Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
Loc: next door
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I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn 1
#14762640 - 07/13/11 01:39 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Ive heard a milion times that porn is just a male fantasy. Its unrealistic. I think the same thing when a woman talks about romance. Their perfect relationship filled with chivalry and shmoo shmoo cuddle time. Its the opposite end of the male fantasy, when in reality a normal healthy relationship lies somewhere in the middle. Its a little give and take.
My argument, is as a male, I currently feel the balance is unfair. For all the shmoo shmoo cuddle bs Ive put in, I feel I havent gotten my fair share of slutty sex in return. You women are slacking.
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Gotlib



Registered: 05/01/11
Posts: 7,643
Loc:
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: I_was_the_walrus] 1
#14762700 - 07/13/11 01:47 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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loll
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Gotlib]
#14762707 - 07/13/11 01:49 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I CONCUR.
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sk8fast
Tripping skater



Registered: 08/02/10
Posts: 400
Last seen: 5 days, 21 hours
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14762731 - 07/13/11 01:52 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Its like the opposite with my girlfriend. all she wants is sex but hates the relationship part of it, which is what I want
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Don Juan
Yaqui Indian



Registered: 10/14/09
Posts: 428
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
#14762785 - 07/13/11 02:04 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Sex is fun but dont let it dominate your conciousness.
listen to yourself... You feel as though you been cheated out of something, as if your relationship is unfair.
Sounds like you dont really love your other, but instead just like her around for your sensual pleasures and security.
Love is not you put so many tokens in and then you get a prize that makes you happy.
This is a illusion and you will never get the prize your looking for, and you will always feel as though you've never, to quote yourself "gotten my fair share"
dont have expectaions they only lead to unhappyness.
The male body is full of hormones but don't let them get the best of you.
Or this relationship will fail, and you'll wonder why
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Harley.Hammerhead
Informed Passenger.


Registered: 12/09/10
Posts: 403
Loc: The cold north.
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: sk8fast] 1
#14762791 - 07/13/11 02:05 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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its teh whole princess, im better than you, im a model BS culture that has come around since disney in the 50's.
get a job, i dont care. just dont fucking expect me to follow you around like a fucking dog and worship you. 1/2 of over-expectant wanabee princesses couldn;t even graduate high school, let alone complete a college course and get a degree.
they have to stop smoking the disney crackpipe and come back down to earth.
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Edited by Harley.Hammerhead (07/13/11 02:06 PM)
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me


Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,973
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
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i don't agree. porn is a fantasy sure... but why? that shit is hollow and deprived.
romance... a woman's fantasy? not IMO....
i think this to is a man's fantasy. a much nicer one that the former, but a fantasy none the less.
i believe men look at women more so for the companionship and love that we believe may come from being with one. i believe women look at men it terms of the gains they will receive. for women that may be social, financial, reproductive, or perhaps all of the above.
perhaps i'm jaded.
i'm having a hard time respecting women at this point in my life. perhaps it'll pass.
-------------------- People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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XUL
OTD Janitor



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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: dummy]
#14763179 - 07/13/11 03:13 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I think it depends on the person brah.
My ex was amazing. We had kinky freaky sex all the time and we cuddled and spent so many great times in eachothers company. I fucking loved it dog. I loved cuddling her and staring into eachothers eyes for 20 minutes straight. Holding hands every second of the night when we were sleeping. Smiling and giggling with eachother when there was nothing we should have been giggling about. Taking interest in her girly interests and when she took interest in my hobbies and activites too. That was true love mang.
Too bad it didnt last.
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me


Registered: 09/29/08
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: XUL]
#14763269 - 07/13/11 03:33 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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yeah i've been there... i still see it as a business arrangement. i don't believe women really have hearts.
-------------------- People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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XUL
OTD Janitor



Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: dummy]
#14763306 - 07/13/11 03:42 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
dummy said: yeah i've been there... i still see it as a business arrangement. i don't believe women really have hearts.
I can understand why you would say that. I am kind of on the fence with that one. I know they can be heartless. Convince you to open up and that love is real, then BAM, break the same heart they opened up and leave you for another. Then on the other hand.. I do believe there is love that lasts. Finding that love and the right girl is the hard part.
In my most recent relationship I just made sure not to give my heart away. That way it can not be hurt. Thats my way of dealing with it.
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me


Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,973
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: XUL]
#14763351 - 07/13/11 03:54 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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i've been considering that approach. it seems so very unfulfilling. perhaps on the next one when it comes up...
-------------------- People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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Wise Toad


Registered: 06/08/10
Posts: 2,690
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: dummy]
#14763395 - 07/13/11 04:04 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I agree walrus
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XUL
OTD Janitor



Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
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Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: dummy]
#14763454 - 07/13/11 04:16 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
dummy said: i've been considering that approach. it seems so very unfulfilling. perhaps on the next one when it comes up...
I agree too. But I am torn when it comes to this issue. Completely surrender your heart to a girl and it will be the most passionate, sexiest, and fullfilling relationship ever! But if she leaves you when you love her the most... well. I personally spent 8 months crying and feeling depressed about it. And I still want her and think about her every day.
Its a tough choice. I would like to open up one day again for sure. Its just so damn hard.
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me


Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,973
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: XUL]
#14763500 - 07/13/11 04:25 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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nightly fucking dreams brah.... fml. wtf. wtf. shit. man... wtf? what good is this?
-------------------- People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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XUL
OTD Janitor



Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: dummy]
#14763544 - 07/13/11 04:37 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
dummy said: nightly fucking dreams brah.... fml. wtf. wtf. shit. man... wtf? what good is this?
say what?
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Wise Toad


Registered: 06/08/10
Posts: 2,690
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: XUL]
#14763573 - 07/13/11 04:44 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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sk8fast
Tripping skater



Registered: 08/02/10
Posts: 400
Last seen: 5 days, 21 hours
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: XUL]
#14763577 - 07/13/11 04:46 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I get what dummy is saying, My girl left me because she only wanted sex but I wanted a relationship. It is nonstop constant torture knowing you will never see the one you love again.
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XUL
OTD Janitor



Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: sk8fast]
#14763617 - 07/13/11 04:55 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
sk8fast said: I get what dummy is saying, My girl left me because she only wanted sex but I wanted a relationship. It is nonstop constant torture knowing you will never see the one you love again.
Amen brotha.
But Eventually that torture fades. I still think bout my ex every day, but not as much as I did 5 months ago. I expect that 9 months from now she will be a distant memory. By the time I am 27 I will probably have all but forgoten her. Damn, it actually feels great to say that!
SHIT THAT FEELS GOOD!
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Wise Toad


Registered: 06/08/10
Posts: 2,690
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: XUL]
#14763630 - 07/13/11 04:58 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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The appeal to me has only been in sex, dont think iv ever loved any of them so no pain came of it
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells



Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
Loc: next door
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Wise Toad]
#14763670 - 07/13/11 05:06 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Me and my ex split 7 months ago, and yeah she still pops into my dreams. Shit sucks.
I dont believe all women are heartless, just most of them. The ones that arent, are usually taken. So that leaves me to pick through a bunch of old used up crazy bitches. Most of which have kids. On the other hand, that just leaves me more time alone to be insanely productive.
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Wise Toad


Registered: 06/08/10
Posts: 2,690
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
#14763683 - 07/13/11 05:09 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Productive how?
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withoutawire
hi


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 11,384
Loc: Honolulu, Hawaii
Last seen: 7 months, 15 days
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Wise Toad]
#14764038 - 07/13/11 06:20 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I can tell you that I have experienced romance even though it's rare. Just as rare as UPS woman showing up and fucking your brains out.
I wouldn't call them unrealistic unless you have no hope or desire or actively trying to achieve either or. They are just rare and for the lucky.
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells



Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
Loc: next door
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Wise Toad]
#14764205 - 07/13/11 06:49 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Productive like school. I discovered something else after the split...once I didnt have a reason to go home, I found myself hanging out at work a lot more. More or less just for something to do. Trying to keep busy and not mope. My income went waaay up.
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greys
OTD Sergeant at Arms



Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 44,923
Loc: nunya
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
#14764534 - 07/13/11 07:55 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
I_was_the_walrus said: Productive like school. I discovered something else after the split...once I didnt have a reason to go home, I found myself hanging out at work a lot more. More or less just for something to do. Trying to keep busy and not mope. My income went waaay up.
Sounds like you should have hung out at work more before the split....
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naturesrevolt
StrangerOfAwesome



Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 681
Loc: Missouri
Last seen: 9 months, 23 days
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: greys]
#14765037 - 07/13/11 09:40 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I agree to a point that the disney vision of romance stirs up a LOT of shit, many of my clients come in spouting off about how it should have been versus the humdrum-ness of how reality bites them in the ass. But there is also the flip-side of how once settling down, they thought their mate would let their freak out and get their freak on. I recommend seeing a middle ground of it and discussing expectations with the partner before getting really serious. Also, as others said, don't treat a relationship as a token reward system; because no matter what, you will always give more into a relationship than you subjectively see coming out of it. This of course isn't an invitation to get abused, but stopping the tit-for-tat arguments with most clients is half my battle on why they're on the couch in the first place. Working on seeing each other in the middle and keeping communication about it (no matter how embarrassing) is more key for it than comparing what is going on to what is being portrayed by the media.
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Solemente



Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,337
Loc:
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: XUL]
#14765062 - 07/13/11 09:44 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
XUL said: I think it depends on the person brah.
My ex was amazing. We had kinky freaky sex all the time and we cuddled and spent so many great times in eachothers company. I fucking loved it dog. I loved cuddling her and staring into eachothers eyes for 20 minutes straight. Holding hands every second of the night when we were sleeping. Smiling and giggling with eachother when there was nothing we should have been giggling about. Taking interest in her girly interests and when she took interest in my hobbies and activites too. That was true love mang.
Too bad it didnt last. 
This times infinity
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Wise Toad


Registered: 06/08/10
Posts: 2,690
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Solemente]
#14765146 - 07/13/11 09:57 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Time to sodomize my vast imagination
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naturesrevolt
StrangerOfAwesome



Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 681
Loc: Missouri
Last seen: 9 months, 23 days
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Wise Toad]
#14765180 - 07/13/11 10:03 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Wise Toad said: Time to sodomize my vast imagination
Better put a porno track on with that.
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Wise Toad


Registered: 06/08/10
Posts: 2,690
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: naturesrevolt]
#14765262 - 07/13/11 10:20 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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You bet I will
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Anonymous #2
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Wise Toad]
#14765671 - 07/13/11 11:38 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Women are greedy, materialistic prostitutes.
The sooner you come to accept this, the sooner you can live in the real world and be happy.
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship



Registered: 02/07/11
Posts: 2,857
Loc: Nowhere
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Anonymous #2]
#14765725 - 07/13/11 11:50 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Idk, what you are talking about is an ideal. Porn is some odd sense is an idealization of male sex fantasies. Likewise, romance, as portrayed in movies etc is an idealization of romance. With that being said I disagree with you. I think intese romance exists. I am extremely romantic and I like it. I just don't live in a movie...
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
#14765732 - 07/13/11 11:52 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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You know, these fantasies don't always divide so neatly along gender lines. There are plenty of women who are into kinky, nasty sex, and plenty of guys who are into cuddly, chivalrous, sweep-them-off-their-feet romance. I definitely fit into the latter category. I've written love songs, bought flowers, cuddled all night long, and enjoyed all of it. So before you tell women that these fantasies are unrealistic, I'd rather they be introduced to guys like me first.
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Wise Toad


Registered: 06/08/10
Posts: 2,690
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Silversoul]
#14767002 - 07/14/11 09:53 AM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Silversoul said: You know, these fantasies don't always divide so neatly along gender lines. There are plenty of women who are into kinky, nasty sex, and plenty of guys who are into cuddly, chivalrous, sweep-them-off-their-feet romance. I definitely fit into the latter category. I've written love songs, bought flowers, cuddled all night long, and enjoyed all of it. So before you tell women that these fantasies are unrealistic, I'd rather they be introduced to guys like me first.
once upon a time I was into all of that romance, then it became all about the sex, and finally I just lost interest.
You make some very good points silversoul, its not black and white.
A lot of things can get in the way of a successful relationship beyond the two preferences just discussed, shit can get too complicated too quickly with: friends, drug preferences, work, school, money, interests, lifestyle, marriage, pregnancy, and many other complex choices
I hope to forever avoid them all, not to run away but to find an alternative. I dont want to bring any kids into this hell(my perspective) and I dont want to deal with others on an everyday basis. I spend my time in a psychedelia of sorts and wait for the future, either to be killed by the nightmare that awaits us or to be saved by a technological revolution.
If I can make it that far I will lucid dream for the rest of my days, however long I can extend them
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TigerShark
Meowasaurus



Registered: 05/15/11
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Loc: Mass
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Wise Toad]
#14767339 - 07/14/11 11:19 AM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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i agree dude, there's definitely gotta be a balance between dirty hot sex and cuddling.
dirty hot sex and THEN cuddling is a nice compromise
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: TigerShark]
#14769156 - 07/14/11 06:43 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I disagree. I'm a hopeless romantic looking for that one girl who likes drugs and a dude to treat her right.
I found one, but she had two kids by the age of 19. She was probably halfway legit, but the other half is probably just wanting my money or weed.
I find that compromise, balance, and good communication are all necessary. Things like I wanna have sex with my girl, probably once a day. That doesn't mean I'm going to forget about it. I'm probably gonna make it extra special, and go down on her for a long time. Or if she doesn't want extra sexual attention, I'll give it to her elsewhere. Want me to cook a meal? Clean up the house a bit? I have no problem compromising.
I have a problem with finding a girl who doesn't eventually just turn out to be a using bitch. They seem so legit, but maybe I treat them too right. It seems that greed takes over, or something. They just lose sight or never pick up on the love and passion.
Its probably me projecting passion. I'm sure its really just some bomb sex where I, in my head, imagine she's feeling the same way. Sex isn't just sex to me. I make love, I don't have sex.
I'm such a hopeless romantic its sickening.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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naturesrevolt
StrangerOfAwesome



Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 681
Loc: Missouri
Last seen: 9 months, 23 days
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Joolz]
#14769246 - 07/14/11 07:02 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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You can be a romantic without being stepped on. It involves making a firm stand on not bowing down in complete servitude to your potential mate (which happens alot to romantic people and that's how they end up getting screwed over so much).
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: naturesrevolt]
#14769265 - 07/14/11 07:06 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Oh, I understand this now. I have read a lot since my last relationship, trust me. Its been over a year now of trolololololoing the shroomery, and some of the girl's in Sex and Relations forums have made some damn fine contributions.
I still treat girls ridiculously nice, but I have since understood that you are never to stop standing on your own two feet. I appreciate the thought, really, I do. I just wish I could remember who wrote those fantastic posts about girls and their "shit tests" and such.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells



Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
Loc: next door
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: Joolz]
#14769290 - 07/14/11 07:13 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Sure, and theres women who dont like sappy love poems and shmooing, and just like freaky sex. They exist, but the balance is not in my favor.
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: I think romance is just as unrealistic as porn [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
#14769345 - 07/14/11 07:28 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm not talking about love poems. I'm just talking about being conscious of your girl and continually doing things for her because you want to.
I find that with the right girl, I'll literally do everything in my power to make sure she feels wanted and loved. But, as I said, I now know some bad signs to watch for thanks to the lovely ladies on this board.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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