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Anonymous #1

Best Friend now not.
    #14643420 - 06/20/11 04:19 PM (9 years, 10 months ago)

So I have gotten off drugs.  Previously my best friend was also my best druggy buddy but over the years - fifteen years - I caught him indiscriminately talking about me behind my back - people would come up to me and act like they knew me, who I had never met.  Sure alot of the shit he talked about was a vicarious way of talking about himself - oh, my friend does heroin, x, acid, smoked dope so much that..... and then I got alot of knowing looks, and I wouldn't even care about that but on three occsassions I got him jobs to be my second manager, and he would stay late drinking with my bosses, and then I would get fired the next day, and he would become the head manager, or I would quit and he would take my position. The main point being that in a pinch he back stabbed me, he talked about me behind my back, and he never walked off a job with me, even though I was the person who got him into management. He always stole my jobs.  How did we stay friends?  I keep my friends. That's how. I also don't judge too harshly, so I let things always ride.

But now, I gave up all dope.  I am almost fifty.  I have been partying since I hit 21.  I really started at age 12, but I changed for about five years at the end of my teens, before returning to drugs.  I got clean a few times.  But now I am at last tired of the stupid things I do when on them.  Actually I have gotten alot worse over the years and now I blackout and wake up in hospitals, jail, etc... Fact is I am not a quitter, but I had to quit. I smoked, drank, tripped, the fuck out of every substance.  I just had to quit. 

So I told my friend I was not partying anymore, and I told him when he stopped using heroin to give me a call.  And he flipped out and has been sending me evil texts and badmouthing me and my wife, and now all of a sudden I see how much he really was two-faced, and actually it was a good move on my part because I now can see through a lot of the crap he put me through. But I am posting because I am really sad because he is really my best friend, and if it wasn't for the fact that we met through drug abuse we might have been friends forever, except for all the rest of the shit.

I don't have a good punchline for this.  Anyone else ever go through this kind of shit?

This is in the relationship section because it's about a relationship - even though nonsexual.


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Re: Best Friend now not. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14643435 - 06/20/11 04:22 PM (9 years, 10 months ago)

:yuno: Y U NO BUTTSECKS HIM!!?


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InvisibleDistorted Vision
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Re: Best Friend now not. [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #14643559 - 06/20/11 04:45 PM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

JesusGoneRogue said:
:yuno: Y U NO BUTTSECKS HIM!!?



:facepalm3:


He may be your best friend but you really don't need him. He sounds like he does anything to get himself somewhere, including fucking friends over. I have many "friends" like this man, I really hope you're ok. And good for you to stop partying, no one really needs it. I say find a better friend that won't betray you for money, or somehow help him stop drugs if you feel that he is important.
Goodluck with stopping drug abuse man, I wish the best for you.


--------------------


"Yo yo just here to spread my clit and show ya'll what a wonderful and free being we are all inside lets take the acid and turn inside into the outside come on over baby lets smell the roses ohh ohh come on we're about to get lit show my undies to your baby I'll hug it down three times go around frown come on we aint a nice clown kiss me upside down down down come on sorry if you cant handle my wokeness come on lets take her panties off write shroomery on my asshole and taste it lick it make if feel like we was 1978 come on baby lets do the locamotion"-Twig dude


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Re: Best Friend now not. [Re: Distorted Vision]
    #14643606 - 06/20/11 04:55 PM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Distorted Vision said:
Quote:

JesusGoneRogue said:
:yuno: Y U NO BUTTSECKS HIM!!?



:facepalm3:


He may be your best friend but you really don't need him. He sounds like he does anything to get himself somewhere, including fucking friends over. I have many "friends" like this man, I really hope you're ok. And good for you to stop partying, no one really needs it. I say find a better friend that won't betray you for money, or somehow help him stop drugs if you feel that he is important.
Goodluck with stopping drug abuse man, I wish the best for you.



:suicidepalm:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Best Friend now not. [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #14646985 - 06/21/11 07:54 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks for the words. He won't give up drugs. He is the one most hooked up person I have ever met.  I always said with a friend like him I knew the whole world.  He was into coke for ten year doing it every night. Then he got into crack. Now heroin.  He's not changing till he dies.


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Invisiblekoraks
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Re: Best Friend now not. [Re: Distorted Vision]
    #14647003 - 06/21/11 08:02 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Distorted Vision said:
He may be your best friend but you really don't need him.



Quite right. And actually, the reverse seems to be true: he needs you. He needs you as a justification (to himself) of his own drug abuse. "See, the stuff I do can't be so bad: my friend does them too!" By quitting drugs, you have taken way his legitimization for his own behavior. And apparently, despite all his drug use, he has never reached a stage where he was able to reflect on this himself and arrive to this insight, so he acts in a very primordial way and takes it out on you. You are now suffering his own frustration. I know this doesn't really help, but sometimes, it's a bit of a comfort to know that you're not the source of the problem, but (sadly) only the victim of someone else's issues.


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InvisibleDistorted Vision
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Re: Best Friend now not. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14647301 - 06/21/11 10:30 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Thanks for the words. He won't give up drugs. He is the one most hooked up person I have ever met.  I always said with a friend like him I knew the whole world.  He was into coke for ten year doing it every night. Then he got into crack. Now heroin.  He's not changing till he dies.



:sad:
I'm sorry to hear this, I say try hard to help him stop and offer that you're there for him. Tell him you actually care for him regardless of what he does, but if he keeps doing drugs you don't want to be dragged back into that kind of life.
My dad is also really stubborn like your friend, and he seems to not care if his death from drugs will hurt the ones that love him.


--------------------


"Yo yo just here to spread my clit and show ya'll what a wonderful and free being we are all inside lets take the acid and turn inside into the outside come on over baby lets smell the roses ohh ohh come on we're about to get lit show my undies to your baby I'll hug it down three times go around frown come on we aint a nice clown kiss me upside down down down come on sorry if you cant handle my wokeness come on lets take her panties off write shroomery on my asshole and taste it lick it make if feel like we was 1978 come on baby lets do the locamotion"-Twig dude


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Anonymous #1

Re: Best Friend now not. [Re: koraks]
    #14649048 - 06/21/11 05:14 PM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

koraks said:
Quote:

Distorted Vision said:
He may be your best friend but you really don't need him.



Quite right. And actually, the reverse seems to be true: he needs you. He needs you as a justification (to himself) of his own drug abuse. "See, the stuff I do can't be so bad: my friend does them too!" By quitting drugs, you have taken way his legitimization for his own behavior. And apparently, despite all his drug use, he has never reached a stage where he was able to reflect on this himself and arrive to this insight, so he acts in a very primordial way and takes it out on you. You are now suffering his own frustration. I know this doesn't really help, but sometimes, it's a bit of a comfort to know that you're not the source of the problem, but (sadly) only the victim of someone else's issues.




Yes, this is the truth of it.  I have been clean at times. Now I had gotten arrested and by terms of probation I have to do a massive amount of community service, AA, and some jail time. And I also totalled my car.

Now I have another car, and he has never been clean, but also never had a car, never done jail time or CS or AA, and frankly where I live it's mandatory life for mere possession of H. And I did it a bit for awhile, but it's not my fave.  And so I guess it's easier for me to have motivation to stop partying.  I mean I am a general druggy - anything will do - until about two months ago. But he is now really doing H, and I just can't watch it.

And I would try to help him. I actually cut him off and blamed it on his H use. So at least that's probably the first time he's ever hear the word 'no' from anyone.  But now he's gone and said shit, I could take anything about me, but he brought in the wife, and insulted her, and that I can't forgive. I know he did it to either get us together to fight for a reconciliation or to put a real end to our friendship.  But he got the latter. 

I just want him to remember he lost something over his drug use, but he takes it very personally like I am judging him as a person.  But then again I am, but not from the drug use alone, but from everything I have been through. He gets major seizures and I have twice had his head in my lap when he was in serious seized up condition, and both times were directly influenced by his drug use - the first time by too much coke and no sleep and the next time from huffing homemade ether. It's a hard thing to be a part of.  If it wasn't something he brought on himself I wouldn't be so adamantly sick of his excuses and behaviour.  I mean, again I am not really judging him by his drug use, but I am judging him as based on the lies he told to excuse himself and how he

finally couldn't tell the difference between the truth and a lie

and that's where he is


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