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Offlinedruqs
ALKALOIDOHOLIC
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 8,862
Last seen: 5 months, 8 days
Describe your shower technique...
    #14611245 - 06/14/11 10:24 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i like a shower, who doesn't?

fools in pools!

i prefer shower to bathing on most points, soak in your own filth? no ta!

only bonus to a bath is how a boiling hot one relaxes aching muscles.

everyone develops a nice routine for the perfect clean, might be interesting (shit boring) to here some?




1. lock door, turn shower on to 38°C, apply tooth paste to brush, do a shit, don't flush.

2. smoke my drug of choice just out the reach of the water.

3. vigorously shampoo hair, rinse, apply conditioner.

4. natural soap all over skin, scrub with coarse flannel, rinse

5. perfumed body wash all over, scrub with foamer, rinse.

6. drop water temperature to 20-25°C, brush teeth.

7. zone out.

8. gently rinse out hair conditioner.

9. drop temp to 10-15°C final full rinse.

10. wring-out flannel, clean tub with the jet setting, turn water off.

11. vibrate, fling arms about, lash head side to side, grab towel.

12. towel off, adorn boxer/briefs,  flush toilet, wash hands and exit.


CONGRATULATIONS! you are now clean.

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InvisibleLobsterSauceDiscord
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 19,884
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: druqs]
    #14611274 - 06/14/11 10:32 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Temperature gauge in your shower,what automobile do you have outside? :poshdance:

Get in,apply shower gel.

It goes hair,armpits,chest,back and neck.

Rinse.

More shampoo.

Ass,bits,legs and feet.

Rinse.

Not much in it really.


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InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #14611283 - 06/14/11 10:35 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Get all wet

apply shampoo

grab loufa, apply body wash

put some of that gritty apricot shit on my face

rinse it all off

turn water off

squeege myself with my hands

grab towel and dry

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InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: shLong]
    #14611286 - 06/14/11 10:35 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

but yeah, shit before you shower and clean your asshole

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Invisibleifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO Flag
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #14611290 - 06/14/11 10:37 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

1. brush teeth.

2. turn hot water on. let the shower run a minute while i mouthwash.
(shower should be a sauna after this.)

3. adjust water temperature to something in the warm-hot range.
(if i gotta shit, now's the time!)

4. wash face (10% benzoyl peroxide). wash hair.
(i like to use conditioner once a week because it makes my hair feel silky smooth.)

5. wash legs, ass, arms, stomach, back. in roughly that order. i just use the bar of soap itself.

6. turn off shower. dry off the majority of water with one towel.
(now's when i would flush if i took a shit.)

7. open window and door. fan out the steam.

8. use another towel for drying the rest of myself.


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: druqs]
    #14611297 - 06/14/11 10:40 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

enter shower


fap



work up a lather and clean self



fap



shampoo hair



fap



rinse everything off



final fap


fap
fap
fap
fapfapfapfapfap



rinse again


dry off with towel


fappin in the shower is good :shrug:


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InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: ifoundwaldo]
    #14611299 - 06/14/11 10:40 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Sure are a lot of pre shower teeth brushers...I am the post shower variety

Oh and before I step in I turn the water off and let all the cold water down the drain, turn hot water back on and then commence.

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InvisibleAcidStrippedMind
The Sunshine Fix
Male User Gallery


Registered: 02/03/11
Posts: 1,201
Loc: Appalachia
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: shLong]
    #14611306 - 06/14/11 10:41 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

The gritty apricot shit is where it's at, evertime I use it
:thousandisland:

Stuff smells AWESOME.


--------------------


I am the storm. I am the wonder.

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Offlinedruqs
ALKALOIDOHOLIC
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 8,862
Last seen: 5 months, 8 days
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #14611307 - 06/14/11 10:41 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Jimtown said:
Temperature gauge in your shower,what automobile do you have outside? :poshdance:







lol its just the hot tap has numbers on it!


we have a few golf carts outside as the garages are the other side of my estate :tongue2:

actually, i fukin wish i owned a car!



oh yeh i forgot the optional wank/fap, i would do this first as it can take me forever in the shower for some odd reason....

Edited by druqs (06/14/11 10:43 AM)

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InvisibleBest In The World
Respect The Pipebomb
Male


Registered: 04/21/11
Posts: 1,835
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: shLong]
    #14611315 - 06/14/11 10:43 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

1) bring laptop to the bathroom to play music
2) get in the shower and turn on hot water
3) get out of shower, and while waiting for hot water to turn on, take off clothes
4) get in the shower again and brush teeth
5) then shampoo
6) then conditioner
7) then face cream
8) then body moisturizer
9) shave
10) rinse (dance while rinsing cuz it :feelsgoodman: :laugh:)
11) hop out of shower
12) dry
13) lotion

FINITO! :laugh: overall it :feelsgoodman: x100 :laugh:

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Offlinemongo lloyd
Lone Free Ranger
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 9,353
Loc: UK Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 23 hours
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: Best In The World]
    #14611362 - 06/14/11 10:51 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

turn water on
shampoo
soap
rinse
done


y'all are overcomplicating shit


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Offlinehippielauren
Fuxed Up
Female


Registered: 05/09/10
Posts: 1,034
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: Best In The World]
    #14611381 - 06/14/11 10:54 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

1. turn on warm water
2. undress
3. hop in and shampoo hair
4. condition hair (or else its like straw and tangles easy)
5. wash face then work my way down (i use dove, I gots the sensitive skin :frown:
6. rinse condtioner out
7. brush teeth
8. hop out and dry off
9. brush hair
10. tease husband if i feel like it  :sunny:


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InvisibleBest In The World
Respect The Pipebomb
Male


Registered: 04/21/11
Posts: 1,835
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: mongo lloyd]
    #14611393 - 06/14/11 10:55 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mongo lloyd said:
turn water on
shampoo
soap
rinse
done


y'all are overcomplicating shit




:ilold: hahaha

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InvisibleSpiritualSnorkel
Registered: 06/18/06
Posts: 1,545
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: hippielauren]
    #14611416 - 06/14/11 10:59 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Fill sink with water.
Dip head in sink.
Swirl head around sink.
Dry.
Get my lighter, singe hair from face and nostrils.
Light cigarette.
Apply a mixture of sugar, honey, and olive oil to face.
Exfoliate, rinse.
Apply whiskey to armpits and crotch.
Make cocktail.
Leave stranger's house.

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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: SpiritualSnorkel]
    #14611450 - 06/14/11 11:06 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

:brilliant:


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OfflineSolemente
Male


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,337
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 18 days
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14611473 - 06/14/11 11:11 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Turn on water to warm
grab a beer
fap if I'm feeling frisky
don't really need shampoo since my hair is less than a cm long
wash face, neck, ears, shoulders
movie down to chest, stomach, back
legs and feet, then save balls cock and ass for last.

Then I dry myself off in the shower so I don't get water all over the bathroom floor

fin

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OfflineSolemente
Male


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,337
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 18 days
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: SpiritualSnorkel]
    #14611475 - 06/14/11 11:12 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

SpiritualSnorkel said:
Fill sink with water.
Dip head in sink.
Swirl head around sink.
Dry.
Get my lighter, singe hair from face and nostrils.
Light cigarette.
Apply a mixture of sugar, honey, and olive oil to face.
Exfoliate, rinse.
Apply whiskey to armpits and crotch.
Make cocktail.
Leave stranger's house.



:dudewtf::lolsy:

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InvisibleBest In The World
Respect The Pipebomb
Male


Registered: 04/21/11
Posts: 1,835
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: Solemente]
    #14611482 - 06/14/11 11:14 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Solemente said:
Quote:

SpiritualSnorkel said:
Fill sink with water.
Dip head in sink.
Swirl head around sink.
Dry.
Get my lighter, singe hair from face and nostrils.
Light cigarette.
Apply a mixture of sugar, honey, and olive oil to face.
Exfoliate, rinse.
Apply whiskey to armpits and crotch.
Make cocktail.
Leave stranger's house.



:dudewtf::lolsy:




:ilold:

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Offlinemellowparty
legitimate researcher

Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: Best In The World]
    #14611502 - 06/14/11 11:18 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

get wet, apply detergent, get more wet, get dry


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Offlinedruqs
ALKALOIDOHOLIC
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 8,862
Last seen: 5 months, 8 days
Re: Describe your shower technique... [Re: mellowparty]
    #14611521 - 06/14/11 11:22 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

shit just before taking off cloths

piss on half removed cloths

pass out with tap running bent over toilet

have the police remove you from mcdonalds disabled toilet after the smell of shit overpowers the burgers

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