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OfflineDZ74
Stranger

Registered: 09/12/10
Posts: 232
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
How cna I kill my ego?
    #14608122 - 06/13/11 07:05 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I have alot of knowledge on ego death, but no understanding of it as understanding comes from experience.
I couldn't find any shrooms or Cidi n my area (Crack Meth Weed and Heroin all widely available but no Shrooms or Cid :/)
Basically, I have a problem changing myself being the most I can be, I have spurts where I be the best I can be then after that one time spurt once in a blue moon I am followed by a long spiral of self destruction or constant questioning. Sometimes both, I have alot of paranoia and anxiety problems, I use to take ProZac but I stopped taking that shit cus I didn't like the fact of taking SSRI's to feel human when it was really making me feel worse.
I tried converting to "God" or Christianity when I realized that shit too phony for me.
I have an ego that refuses to die and change itself, it kills my motivation when I have it, it ruins my relations to people, and all other aspects of my life. It won't stop, I want it to go away! That stupid ego making me feel like shit!
It won't even shutup at all! I tried to meditate and I can't meditate long enough cus either my mind is going nuts from the racing thoughts or when I get close to "ego death" (or experiencing crazy mental images and CEV's) it feels like it's almost there and I get extremely paranoid.
So how can I destroy this ego once and for all? I know it's causing my problems and I tried throwing it away and it just doesn't go anywhere.
I realize that destroying the ego doesn't make all problems disappear, but they make 'em less of an obstacle of what it is.
I really want to dissolve the ego and eventually learn how to make my subconscious more conscious. Make my dreams become reality in a sense.
Is it possible? Am I crazy? Or is it all bullshit? AAAAH stuck in a thought-loop!


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OfflinexFrockx
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Registered: 09/17/06
Posts: 10,455
Loc: Northeast
Last seen: 26 days, 4 hours
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: DZ74]
    #14608131 - 06/13/11 07:06 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)



After actually reading the op, I would say you need to realize that there is no ego. You are who you think you are.

Edited by xFrockx (06/13/11 07:09 PM)

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OfflineDZ74
Stranger

Registered: 09/12/10
Posts: 232
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: xFrockx]
    #14608153 - 06/13/11 07:09 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

LMAO
I thought about that one too, but no that would be too simple and already pointless like life is already :P


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OfflinexFrockx
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Registered: 09/17/06
Posts: 10,455
Loc: Northeast
Last seen: 26 days, 4 hours
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: DZ74]
    #14608163 - 06/13/11 07:11 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

After actually reading the op, I would say you need to realize that there is no ego. You are who you think you are. But you are exactly where you are at, there's no thinking your way out of that. But you can act to change where that is. Like walking. Or going to the park. Lol.

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Invisiblewaves


Registered: 04/03/10
Posts: 2,213
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: xFrockx]
    #14608181 - 06/13/11 07:15 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I recommend not trying to kill your ego. You need an ego to be a healthy, happy person IMO. Just don't let it get to big.

That being said, try 7+ grams of mushrooms, or 10+ hits of good acid. Should do the trick. For a few hours anyways...

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OfflineDZ74
Stranger

Registered: 09/12/10
Posts: 232
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: xFrockx]
    #14608193 - 06/13/11 07:16 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

But how do I change the way I think I guess? That's where my problem lies


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OfflineDZ74
Stranger

Registered: 09/12/10
Posts: 232
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: waves]
    #14608201 - 06/13/11 07:18 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

TheDukeofLizards said:
I recommend not trying to kill your ego. You need an ego to be a healthy, happy person IMO. Just don't let it get to big.

That being said, try 7+ grams of mushrooms, or 10+ hits of good acid. Should do the trick. For a few hours anyways...




Like I said, I unfortunately live on the side of town where you can get some crack or heroin way easier than ever finding shrooms or cid, it's around here but not on my side of town...


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OfflinexFrockx
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Registered: 09/17/06
Posts: 10,455
Loc: Northeast
Last seen: 26 days, 4 hours
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: DZ74]
    #14608212 - 06/13/11 07:19 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

The easiest way is to change your setting. Find honest work, new friends, i don't know. What is dragging you down in good old real life right now? You don't have to answer. Just let go of it. Eventually, if you really question the way you think, you will find yourself with absolutely fucking nothing to do. At that point, helping people will be a good way to pass time.

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Offline4896744
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Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 5,128
Loc: United States
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: DZ74]
    #14608213 - 06/13/11 07:20 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DZ74 said:
But how do I change the way I think I guess? That's where my problem lies




I assume you are mainly talking about things like your anxiety here? If so, some things you could do are start working out daily, eat healthier, meditate, and possibily some therapuetic trials with mdma. Try taking smaller doses in social settings. It can really help with anxiety.

Also, if you currently do other drugs (especially weed) everyday you should probably stop.


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Live your Life! :heart:

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Invisiblewaves


Registered: 04/03/10
Posts: 2,213
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: 4896744]
    #14608221 - 06/13/11 07:21 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

iThink said:
Quote:

DZ74 said:
But how do I change the way I think I guess? That's where my problem lies




I assume you are mainly talking about things like your anxiety here? If so, some things you could do are start working out daily, eat healthier, meditate, and possibily some therapuetic trials with mdma. Try taking smaller doses in social settings. It can really help with anxiety.

Also, if you currently do other drugs (especially weed) everyday you should probably stop.




good suggestions

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OfflineDZ74
Stranger

Registered: 09/12/10
Posts: 232
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: waves]
    #14608243 - 06/13/11 07:23 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Word, I do smoke way too much weed but I smoke to keep myself from going insane.


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Invisiblewaves


Registered: 04/03/10
Posts: 2,213
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: DZ74]
    #14608263 - 06/13/11 07:26 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DZ74 said:
Word, I do smoke way too much weed but I smoke to keep myself from going insane.




I used to think that was why I did it too. Then I stopped, and I have never been happier. Haven't smoked weed in over a year. Best thing I ever did. I used to smoke all day everyday though for years. I would even wake up in the middle of the night and take bong rips then go back to sleep.

Edited by waves (06/13/11 07:26 PM)

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Offline4896744
Small Town Girl
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Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 5,128
Loc: United States
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: DZ74]
    #14608265 - 06/13/11 07:26 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DZ74 said:
Word, I do smoke way too much weed but I smoke to keep myself from going insane.




Hey man, i've been there with the weed smoking. I guarantee that it will help your anxiety A LOT to quit. You will also have so much more money at your disposal for more productive things. If you are able to actually maintain a responsible habit of smoking like once or twice a week with friends or something then go for it, but everyday and especially multiple times a day will give you some problems.


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Live your Life! :heart:

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Offline4896744
Small Town Girl
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Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 5,128
Loc: United States
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: waves]
    #14608338 - 06/13/11 07:34 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

TheDukeofLizards said:
Quote:

DZ74 said:
Word, I do smoke way too much weed but I smoke to keep myself from going insane.




I used to think that was why I did it too. Then I stopped, and I have never been happier. Haven't smoked weed in over a year. Best thing I ever did. I used to smoke all day everyday though for years. I would even wake up in the middle of the night and take bong rips then go back to sleep.




QFT


--------------------
Live your Life! :heart:

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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male


Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: DZ74]
    #14608605 - 06/13/11 08:23 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

How cna I kill my ego?

With a gun.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male


Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: xFrockx]
    #14608623 - 06/13/11 08:26 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

xFrockx said:


After actually reading the op, I would say you need to realize that there is no ego. You are who you think you are.




Ha! warped minds think alike.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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OfflineSatyapriya
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Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 1,147
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: DZ74]
    #14608700 - 06/13/11 08:39 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DZ74 said:
I have alot of knowledge on ego death, but no understanding of it as understanding comes from experience.
I couldn't find any shrooms or Cidi n my area (Crack Meth Weed and Heroin all widely available but no Shrooms or Cid :/)
Basically, I have a problem changing myself being the most I can be, I have spurts where I be the best I can be then after that one time spurt once in a blue moon I am followed by a long spiral of self destruction or constant questioning. Sometimes both, I have alot of paranoia and anxiety problems, I use to take ProZac but I stopped taking that shit cus I didn't like the fact of taking SSRI's to feel human when it was really making me feel worse.
I tried converting to "God" or Christianity when I realized that shit too phony for me.
I have an ego that refuses to die and change itself, it kills my motivation when I have it, it ruins my relations to people, and all other aspects of my life. It won't stop, I want it to go away! That stupid ego making me feel like shit!
It won't even shutup at all! I tried to meditate and I can't meditate long enough cus either my mind is going nuts from the racing thoughts or when I get close to "ego death" (or experiencing crazy mental images and CEV's) it feels like it's almost there and I get extremely paranoid.
So how can I destroy this ego once and for all? I know it's causing my problems and I tried throwing it away and it just doesn't go anywhere.
I realize that destroying the ego doesn't make all problems disappear, but they make 'em less of an obstacle of what it is.
I really want to dissolve the ego and eventually learn how to make my subconscious more conscious. Make my dreams become reality in a sense.
Is it possible? Am I crazy? Or is it all bullshit? AAAAH stuck in a thought-loop!




Trust me, you do not want to "kill your ego."  As long as you are a member of the physical universe, you will have an ego, and you will need it to survive.  Ego-death is a very beautiful experience and can teach you a lot, but it is only temporary.  Look at it like this:

The ego is your outer self, the part of you that is conditioned by your past through pain and pleasure, it IS the vessel that you ride around in and control all day, more or less.  One of the problems in modern society is that it can go on "autopilot" and therefore we lose a certain level of control over our actions, and more commonly, and understandably, we lose control over our personality.  Its all ingrained in the ego.

The first thing you need to do is to learn how to love yourself, love your ego, because it is a part of you, technically all you've really got.

The second thing you need to do is learn how to reprogram it, and change your habit patterns that keep you where you are now, in a place of suffering.  A 3 day or 10 day Vipassana meditation retreat would honestly be the best thing I could think of that would help you.  Their teachings align with Freudian theories about the mind and the subconscious and the sole purpose of the technique IS to change the habit patterns of your mind, naturally.

It sounds to me like you've already become aware of your ego and its behavior, and how it somewhat "betrays" who you think you really are and how you want to behave.  Same old story.  So in my opinion, tripping on mushrooms and acid could help some, but could also be counterproductive as well, and expensive depending on how much self-therapy you attempt.  Keep in mind that Vipassana is always free and there are meditation centers all around the world and in many states.  check the site:

http://www.dhamma.org/

and check the map:

http://www.dhamma.org/en/worldmap.html

Vipassana totally changed the way I view my mind and live my life, and there is a lot of truth in it, hardly any B.S., if any.  Any questions just email me :mushroom2::peace:


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www.collectivelyconscious.net - Hive mind for the awakened. ॐ Collectively Conscious ॐ is a community-powered, community-verified, alternative news/multimedia aggregation service for global citizens.

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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,847
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: Satyapriya] * 1
    #14608983 - 06/13/11 09:26 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

how do you stop smoking?

to stop ego, just quit the melodrama.
stop pretending that it's an epic movie or legend that you are a role in.
stop thinking your role sucks.
no melodramatic bullshit.

and relax and keep on relaxing and starting again.
discontinuing melodrama can take a long time,
continue tomorrow.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:

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Invisiblenglsnv
Becoming
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Registered: 08/31/10
Posts: 782
Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: DZ74]
    #14609181 - 06/13/11 10:02 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DZ74 said:
I have alot of knowledge on ego death, but no understanding of it as understanding comes from experience.




you should focus on understanding the ego, not on how to kill it.

Quote:

I have an ego that refuses to die and change itself




you change your ego, the ego doesn't change itself.

Quote:

So how can I destroy this ego once and for all?




frock and icelander weren't joking. to destroy your ego is to destroy the physical vessel that is home to your ego. you will have your ego until you die.

Quote:

I know it's causing my problems and I tried throwing it away and it just doesn't go anywhere.




you have to take responsibility for your actions/problems/life. you can't place the blame on something else, like your ego.

when you find yourself thinking anxious thoughts, try to identify the source of the anxiety. realize that you are probably being irrational and that there is nothing to fear. this goes for all thoughts that contradict your super-ego or ideal ego.

relax, these things take time. you're on the right track.

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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
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Re: How cna I kill my ego? [Re: DZ74]
    #14644601 - 06/20/11 06:41 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DZ74 said:
But how do I change the way I think I guess? That's where my problem lies







Mark 12:30-31
New International Version (NIV)
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.

"Love everybody, serve everybody, and remember God."
- Neem Karoli Baba

How many times does one have to hear this message before one has ears to really hear it? If you love people, you don't have to be emotionally attached, you simply will what is good for another, even at your own expense. This is Compassion and it require Detachment and Dispassion. Meanwhile, you acquire balance in your discipline so that others do not take advantage of you.  You don't want to develop co-dependency - always putting others before yourself so that your own needs go unmet. This is not being a martyr, it is pathology: Dependent Personality Disorder. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others, and vice-versa.

"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

Chemically sledge-hammering one's brain is more likely a matter of self-destructiveness than of true Initiation. I've used psychedelics for 40 years, and everyone I know or knew who tripped abandoned their use long ago, and became caught up in the mundanities of everyday life. The guys won't do it for a variety of reasons, mostly I think because they are so encrusted with worldly concerns like college funds for their kids, sports interests, or vices like tobacco and alcohol, that nothing psychedelic remains of them except distant memories. And, several are either pussy-whipped or use their wives as excuses for not tripping. This is because they couldn't integrate family life into a wider context of spiritual life. Or, they failed to identify Psychedelic Experience as real religious experience, and got into their traditional family's religion instead. Religion is a sure way to prevent real religious experience. Perhaps, they married women who embodied their mother's values instead of seeking a more evolved woman. My generation didn't maintain much of the Child of God characteristics from the 60s. Just another  generation of biological beings engaged in established social games - just like their parents' generation.  Curiosity and wonder are gone with their inner child. The egoic-mind is what most people all-to-willfully become, especially the materialistic, status-seeking multitudes.

Want to minimize your egoic-mind? Maximize your inner child. Don't forget how to play, imagine, create, dream. Don't become so practical and down-to-earth that you permanently have your wings clipped. Read Tolle's The Power of Now, because Chapter 2 - The Pain Body - should speak to you.


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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