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OnlineAsanteA
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Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000?
    #14594505 - 06/11/11 08:01 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)




A young male Bonobo (Dwarf Chimpanzee) to be exact.

Quote:

The Bonobo is sometimes considered to be more gracile than the Common Chimpanzee, and females are somewhat smaller than males. Its head is smaller than that of the Common Chimpanzee with less prominent brow ridges above the eyes. It has a black face with pink lips, small ears, wide nostrils, and long hair on its head that forms a part. The Bonobo also has a slim upper body, narrow shoulders, thin neck, and long legs when compared to the Common Chimpanzee.

The Bonobo walks upright approximately 25% of the time during ground locomotion. Its quadrupedal ground locomotion generally is characterized by forelimb 'palm walking'[citation needed], similar to orangutans and in contrast to the predominant use of knuckles as characteristic of gorillas and the Common Chimpanzees. These physical characteristics and its posture give the Bonobo an appearance more closely resembling that of humans than that of the Common Chimpanzee (see: bipedal Bonobos). The Bonobo also has highly individuated facial features, as humans do, so that one individual may look significantly different from another, a characteristic adapted for visual facial recognition in social interaction.




You can expect the following:

--every now and then, you return to a trashed apartment. Your stuff, thrown around.
--every now and then you and visitors get shit thrown at you.
--every now and then you get your ass kicked. No bad injuries (he likes you a lot) but bruises aplenty.
--objects such as coats not locked away, chair and human legs get humped and jizzed over.
--your appartment will smell and sound like a monkeyhouse.
--you get jumped regularly, sometimes when entering your home or when you least expect it.
--he expects to share the bed with you and your GF (for sleeping) and cant be persuaded otherwise, or no one will sleep that night.

but:

--you get the awesome experience of dealing with a primate on a daily basis.
--most of the time hes very friendly and clearly highly intelligent.
--95% of the time hes completely adorable, the most fascinating pet ever and toilet trained.
--you get to teach it epic tricks like using the toilet end flushing after, getting you a beer from the fridge and sharing a bong with you.

CATCH: you can't lock it up or live elsewhere. He needs full access to your home at all time.

For 100,000, or about $300 a day, would you live with a monkey for a year?
Property damage gets refunded separately, and you can get the 100 thou either after the year is over, monthly, weekly or daily.

.
Would you put up with that mayhem a whole year for $100,000?
You may choose only one
OMG thats so awesome, absolutely!
Yes, for the experience and the money
Yes but mostly for the experience
Yes but mostly for the money
No.
NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!
STAL
OMG the zoo doesnt want him back! Now what?!
You may choose only one
Given the same $$, growing with inflation, he can live out his life with us. (probably 20-30 years)
He can stay until we find him a place to go
Wut?! That crazed ape is out the door right this minute!
See? Thats why I said no.
Buahahaha now you're stuck with him, good luck Jane Goodall! *wootwootwootwoot!!*
STAL


Votes accepted from (06/11/11 08:00 AM) to (No end specified)
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InvisibleDoc_T
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Asante]
    #14594513 - 06/11/11 08:03 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

you get to teach it epic tricks like using the toilet end flushing after, getting you a beer from the fridge and sharing a bong with you.




So it's like having a hairy kid?


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Offlinemellowparty
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Doc_T]
    #14594530 - 06/11/11 08:07 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

is he going to touch my drug stash?


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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: mellowparty]
    #14594534 - 06/11/11 08:08 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

He's going to touch everything.


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OnlineAsanteA
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: mellowparty]
    #14594538 - 06/11/11 08:09 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

I trust you keep drugs and firearms in a gun safe or some other locker he canbt get into


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Offlinemellowparty
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Doc_T]
    #14594540 - 06/11/11 08:09 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Well as long as he shares I guess im okay with it. I guess he wont be much of a mess after a couple of bong rips


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OnlineAsanteA
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: mellowparty]
    #14594543 - 06/11/11 08:10 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Good thinking :bonghit:


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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Asante]
    #14594546 - 06/11/11 08:11 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Bonobos are really horny, I don't know if smoking one up is a good idea.


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OfflineMad_Larkin
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: mellowparty]
    #14594552 - 06/11/11 08:12 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

mellowparty said:
Well as long as he shares I guess im okay with it. I guess he wont be much of a mess after a couple of bong rips




If he was well trained I'd love to chill with a chimp. Teach it to smoke bongs and shit.

:awehigh:


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Offlinemellowparty
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Doc_T]
    #14594555 - 06/11/11 08:13 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Who knows, maybe I'll teach him to roll joints and whatnot.

Quote:

Doc_T said:
Bonobos are really horny, I don't know if smoking one up is a good idea.



I think you think too much. Easy, it may start to hurt.


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InvisiblePsychoslut
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Asante]
    #14594556 - 06/11/11 08:13 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

they are strong as fuck though right so i can make it turn over compost piles and shit.

what if i trained its ass to grow blueberry trainwreck in the woods, then what?


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[quote]KristiMidocean said:
Good now thats clear.WHO FUCKING CARES. If I am fat u all keep pointing it out like its suppose to be a secret.LIke u really have nothing better to do then make fat jokes. If o know its like I do I know yall can come up with NEW AND BETTER SHIT . This shit is old and boring . I left in the first place cause this shit got boring not because of the fat jokes . Fat jokes dont bother me but seriously its old[/quote]


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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Psychoslut]
    #14594561 - 06/11/11 08:15 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Thats too complex for its primate brain :chimpglock:


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OfflineMad_Larkin
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: mellowparty]
    #14594569 - 06/11/11 08:16 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Feed him mushrooms until he involves into a Bigfoot and then he'll be able to do it.


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OnlineAsanteA
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Psychoslut]
    #14594571 - 06/11/11 08:17 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Who knows, maybe I'll teach him to roll joints and whatnot.




Quote:

what if i trained its ass to grow blueberry trainwreck in the woods, then what?




Its an ape, so they arent that dexterous, youy can teach him to plug and smoke a pipe but nothing too complicated.

Quote:

they are strong as fuck though




Burglars leave piece by piece.


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InvisiblePsychoslut
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: mellowparty]
    #14594573 - 06/11/11 08:17 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

he will carry buckets of water and check it for bugs and take pictures of it for my i know i can get it to do it.


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[quote]KristiMidocean said:
Good now thats clear.WHO FUCKING CARES. If I am fat u all keep pointing it out like its suppose to be a secret.LIke u really have nothing better to do then make fat jokes. If o know its like I do I know yall can come up with NEW AND BETTER SHIT . This shit is old and boring . I left in the first place cause this shit got boring not because of the fat jokes . Fat jokes dont bother me but seriously its old[/quote]


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OfflineMad_Larkin
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Psychoslut]
    #14594575 - 06/11/11 08:18 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)



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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Mad_Larkin]
    #14594595 - 06/11/11 08:25 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

not to mention a bonobo would probably rape you multiple times an hour

orgies are like the thangs they do most/best


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InvisiblePsychoslut
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Envix]
    #14594597 - 06/11/11 08:27 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

are they hung?


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[quote]KristiMidocean said:
Good now thats clear.WHO FUCKING CARES. If I am fat u all keep pointing it out like its suppose to be a secret.LIke u really have nothing better to do then make fat jokes. If o know its like I do I know yall can come up with NEW AND BETTER SHIT . This shit is old and boring . I left in the first place cause this shit got boring not because of the fat jokes . Fat jokes dont bother me but seriously its old[/quote]


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OfflineEnvix
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Psychoslut]
    #14594599 - 06/11/11 08:27 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)



--------------------
R . I . P todcasil , acid sloth, big worm , tim b , MF DOOM

Get these hoes out my dimension
continue my ascension
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Offlinedesant
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Re: Would you live with a monkey for 1 year, if it got you $100,000? [Re: Mad_Larkin]
    #14594605 - 06/11/11 08:28 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

Haha i like monkeys, parents of this dude i went to high school with had a chimp, awesome pets, especially if you got big place to live/live in the country


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