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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Just don't want to be in this world
#14586901 - 06/09/11 06:05 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I'm not saying I'm going to commit suicide, not at all. This isn't a cry for help, but more like seeing how many people feel the same way as i do. I'm sitting here with great music playing, about to plant a wonderful strain of MJ, and looking for temp jobs.. and i don't want to be here.
I've spent the last 3 weeks in a deep slumber, and i much prefer to be in there than out here. My mind is too much out here, i can never sort out anything on time. My room is a disaster, no motivation to clean it.
And the real shitter is that this is one of the best times in our world to live. And i can't seem to find a place for myself in it. Even on here, i actually know none of you, yet I'm shpleeing to you like this is my own personal therapist, what is that? It's just sad.
I have to find a path, some kind of routine, SOMETHING that will make me want to stay in this waking world more than in my dreams. I do have some pretty fantastical dreams, but then I've had some pretty amazing wakeful moments too. I just feel that i don't belong here. And also motivation, i feel NO motivation to do anything except go back to sleep, to that snowy mountain top i keep visiting, or that autobahn like highway i nearly almost fall off of but never quite do.
I even had a dream ABOUT a dream, being IN a dream last night. Some experiment in shared dreaming, and there were 3 levels. And if you think remembering a dream is hard, imagine remembering a dream WITHIN a dream, all i remember is the last level, a terribly difficult reactionary game with wrist launchers, sorta like volley ball.
No wait the one before was the 2nd level: some strategy survival quest in the mountains of some place not on this earth, very hilly and filled with patches of dead and alive grasses and trees. Had to avoid the other dreamers/questers, or make friends with them, and avoid the critters/monsters that roamed around, all while trying to find the exit.
And i found the exit, and now here i am typing it to you. I'd rather be back in there.. how sad is that?
Long post i know, didn't really help getting it out either.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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LayinUp
Crush yo rating like yo butthole



Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 2,232
Loc: Between the permafrost an...
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14586915 - 06/09/11 06:08 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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sounds like this guy need some
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Escape the box.
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Caine
lab rat



Registered: 01/25/10
Posts: 3,920
Loc: NE
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14586918 - 06/09/11 06:09 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Same boat. I'd love to be able to suddenly will myself into non-existence. It won't happen though so all I can do is till I die
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4runner


Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Caine]
#14586925 - 06/09/11 06:10 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Build a
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Legend
RIP Sasha



Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: 4runner]
#14586946 - 06/09/11 06:17 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I feel you.
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No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind. [url=]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]Are you lost?
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cbt myco
Environmentalist


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 43
Loc: Amurika
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic] 1
#14586947 - 06/09/11 06:17 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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expand on your mj op. try some new tek's to keep yourself busy and focused.
try to learn some tactics of lucidity, to keep yourself happy during the day to be going to sleep at night.
stay positive
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Everything is nothing but a brilliant stringed symphony of vibrations on a subatomic level. I (cbt myco) am a computer virus, designed to make stories based on complete fiction. Therefore, everything I post is for pure entertainment only.
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Kada
Asha'man


Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 12,394
Loc: Buckeye
Last seen: 3 days, 7 hours
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14586984 - 06/09/11 06:22 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Change your life man. Go do something like this:
-------------------- ~The Cultivators Motherload~ "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein "There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama Live long and prosper.
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mushiefeet
Soggy Sock's Rainy Day's



Registered: 01/18/11
Posts: 558
Loc: Washington State
Last seen: 1 month, 12 days
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Kada]
#14587006 - 06/09/11 06:28 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I feel you man lifes a downer.
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limestoneman
The Return

Registered: 04/09/11
Posts: 1,997
Loc: Middle TN
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14587219 - 06/09/11 07:21 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Dream within a dream huh?
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Solemente



Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,337
Loc:
Last seen: 3 years, 18 days
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: limestoneman]
#14587234 - 06/09/11 07:25 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
limestoneman said: Dream within a dream huh?
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bbt0009
Stranger Lover



Registered: 11/11/08
Posts: 542
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Solemente] 1
#14587296 - 06/09/11 07:43 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I feel you. Look at my sig this is what i chose... Never look back you might get lost
-------------------- It was all a dream...
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uber_aj
Goodbye Shroomery!



Registered: 11/13/05
Posts: 4,486
Loc: Much love to you all
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14587304 - 06/09/11 07:44 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I know what you mean. Sometimes you just get bored of everything and feel like there's no point. Like fuck it, will I really be happier than I am right now if I get everything that I want? My trips don't even seem like a shadow of what they used to, even the thought of a 6g dose seems like "meh."
What lie do you tell yourself to get out of that thought process? I use, "you just need to get laid."
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: uber_aj]
#14587848 - 06/09/11 09:33 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Well that's a big fuck yeah, but it's way more than that.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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LayinUp
Crush yo rating like yo butthole



Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 2,232
Loc: Between the permafrost an...
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: uber_aj]
#14587869 - 06/09/11 09:36 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
uber_aj said: even the thought of a 6g dose seems like "meh."
damn, what?!
me and the mrs prefer to take a half gram dried dose every two hours for...well we have been doing this now for well over 2 months
i really like the overall effects, it has been working better for me personally than the klonopin that my moron doctor prescribed me.
im so happy to be off the drugs and just taking natural, organic medicine.
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Escape the box.
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DiscoBiscuitsTrip



Registered: 06/05/10
Posts: 1,430
Loc: FL
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14587876 - 06/09/11 09:37 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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sounds like you might be smoking to much pot and being all downer and losing all motivation. go out and do something with yourself, start hobbies like working out, skating, playing an instrument, etc. you are your own worst enemy in this situation.
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Mad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: mushiefeet]
#14587889 - 06/09/11 09:40 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
mushiefeet said: I feel you man lifes a downer. 
No, that's you.
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: limestoneman]
#14587891 - 06/09/11 09:40 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Absolutely. It was at my old (or someone's old) highschool gym, very bright after each time waking up, and i can remember LOTs of white/clear cords linking everyone, but then at times no cords at all too. But it was all very organized, peaceful. Had the distinct impression it was of my own free will, not like it was being forced to dream.
I love dreaming, and I've lucid dreamt sometimes. Not in the last 4 or 5 years though. I loved them equally as much as tripping, just different. They were always quick, and i almost always chose to fly over my city. I can still remember the feeling of myself pulling me up into the air through between the trees, and finally above em, and then off i went until i melted and i lost lucidity or i woke up.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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4runner


Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14587906 - 06/09/11 09:44 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I have a friend that loves dreaming more that real life.
Needless to say he is a drain on all of his friends.
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: LayinUp]
#14587921 - 06/09/11 09:46 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
DiscoBiscuitsTrip said: sounds like you might be smoking to much pot and being all downer and losing all motivation. go out and do something with yourself, start hobbies like working out, skating, playing an instrument, etc. you are your own worst enemy in this situation.
Quote:
LayinUp said:
Quote:
uber_aj said: even the thought of a 6g dose seems like "meh."
damn, what?!
me and the mrs prefer to take a half gram dried dose every two hours for...well we have been doing this now for well over 2 months
i really like the overall effects, it has been working better for me personally than the klonopin that my moron doctor prescribed me.
im so happy to be off the drugs and just taking natural, organic medicine.
? That's really weird, .5g every two hours, nonstop?
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: 4runner]
#14587931 - 06/09/11 09:48 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah, and then that drains me (and probably him) even more to know that it drains you. Upside down spin in a downward direction.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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