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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Just don't want to be in this world
#14586901 - 06/09/11 06:05 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm not saying I'm going to commit suicide, not at all. This isn't a cry for help, but more like seeing how many people feel the same way as i do. I'm sitting here with great music playing, about to plant a wonderful strain of MJ, and looking for temp jobs.. and i don't want to be here.
I've spent the last 3 weeks in a deep slumber, and i much prefer to be in there than out here. My mind is too much out here, i can never sort out anything on time. My room is a disaster, no motivation to clean it.
And the real shitter is that this is one of the best times in our world to live. And i can't seem to find a place for myself in it. Even on here, i actually know none of you, yet I'm shpleeing to you like this is my own personal therapist, what is that? It's just sad.
I have to find a path, some kind of routine, SOMETHING that will make me want to stay in this waking world more than in my dreams. I do have some pretty fantastical dreams, but then I've had some pretty amazing wakeful moments too. I just feel that i don't belong here. And also motivation, i feel NO motivation to do anything except go back to sleep, to that snowy mountain top i keep visiting, or that autobahn like highway i nearly almost fall off of but never quite do.
I even had a dream ABOUT a dream, being IN a dream last night. Some experiment in shared dreaming, and there were 3 levels. And if you think remembering a dream is hard, imagine remembering a dream WITHIN a dream, all i remember is the last level, a terribly difficult reactionary game with wrist launchers, sorta like volley ball.
No wait the one before was the 2nd level: some strategy survival quest in the mountains of some place not on this earth, very hilly and filled with patches of dead and alive grasses and trees. Had to avoid the other dreamers/questers, or make friends with them, and avoid the critters/monsters that roamed around, all while trying to find the exit.
And i found the exit, and now here i am typing it to you. I'd rather be back in there.. how sad is that?
Long post i know, didn't really help getting it out either.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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LayinUp
Crush yo rating like yo butthole



Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 2,232
Loc: Between the permafrost an...
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14586915 - 06/09/11 06:08 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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sounds like this guy need some
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Escape the box.
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Caine
lab rat



Registered: 01/25/10
Posts: 3,920
Loc: NE
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14586918 - 06/09/11 06:09 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Same boat. I'd love to be able to suddenly will myself into non-existence. It won't happen though so all I can do is till I die
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4runner


Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Caine]
#14586925 - 06/09/11 06:10 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Build a
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Legend
RIP Sasha



Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: 4runner]
#14586946 - 06/09/11 06:17 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I feel you.
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No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind. [url=]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]Are you lost?
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cbt myco
Environmentalist


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 43
Loc: Amurika
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic] 1
#14586947 - 06/09/11 06:17 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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expand on your mj op. try some new tek's to keep yourself busy and focused.
try to learn some tactics of lucidity, to keep yourself happy during the day to be going to sleep at night.
stay positive
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Everything is nothing but a brilliant stringed symphony of vibrations on a subatomic level. I (cbt myco) am a computer virus, designed to make stories based on complete fiction. Therefore, everything I post is for pure entertainment only.
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Kada
Asha'man


Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 12,394
Loc: Buckeye
Last seen: 2 months, 22 days
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14586984 - 06/09/11 06:22 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Change your life man. Go do something like this:
-------------------- ~The Cultivators Motherload~ "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein "There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama Live long and prosper.
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mushiefeet
Soggy Sock's Rainy Day's



Registered: 01/18/11
Posts: 558
Loc: Washington State
Last seen: 12 days, 4 hours
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Kada]
#14587006 - 06/09/11 06:28 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I feel you man lifes a downer.
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limestoneman
The Return

Registered: 04/09/11
Posts: 1,997
Loc: Middle TN
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14587219 - 06/09/11 07:21 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Dream within a dream huh?
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Solemente



Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,337
Loc:
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: limestoneman]
#14587234 - 06/09/11 07:25 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
limestoneman said: Dream within a dream huh?
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bbt0009
Stranger Lover



Registered: 11/11/08
Posts: 542
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Solemente] 1
#14587296 - 06/09/11 07:43 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I feel you. Look at my sig this is what i chose... Never look back you might get lost
-------------------- It was all a dream...
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uber_aj
Goodbye Shroomery!



Registered: 11/13/05
Posts: 4,486
Loc: Much love to you all
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14587304 - 06/09/11 07:44 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I know what you mean. Sometimes you just get bored of everything and feel like there's no point. Like fuck it, will I really be happier than I am right now if I get everything that I want? My trips don't even seem like a shadow of what they used to, even the thought of a 6g dose seems like "meh."
What lie do you tell yourself to get out of that thought process? I use, "you just need to get laid."
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: uber_aj]
#14587848 - 06/09/11 09:33 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Well that's a big fuck yeah, but it's way more than that.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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LayinUp
Crush yo rating like yo butthole



Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 2,232
Loc: Between the permafrost an...
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: uber_aj]
#14587869 - 06/09/11 09:36 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
uber_aj said: even the thought of a 6g dose seems like "meh."
damn, what?!
me and the mrs prefer to take a half gram dried dose every two hours for...well we have been doing this now for well over 2 months
i really like the overall effects, it has been working better for me personally than the klonopin that my moron doctor prescribed me.
im so happy to be off the drugs and just taking natural, organic medicine.
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Escape the box.
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DiscoBiscuitsTrip



Registered: 06/05/10
Posts: 1,422
Loc: FL
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14587876 - 06/09/11 09:37 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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sounds like you might be smoking to much pot and being all downer and losing all motivation. go out and do something with yourself, start hobbies like working out, skating, playing an instrument, etc. you are your own worst enemy in this situation.
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Mad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: mushiefeet]
#14587889 - 06/09/11 09:40 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
mushiefeet said: I feel you man lifes a downer. 
No, that's you.
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: limestoneman]
#14587891 - 06/09/11 09:40 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Absolutely. It was at my old (or someone's old) highschool gym, very bright after each time waking up, and i can remember LOTs of white/clear cords linking everyone, but then at times no cords at all too. But it was all very organized, peaceful. Had the distinct impression it was of my own free will, not like it was being forced to dream.
I love dreaming, and I've lucid dreamt sometimes. Not in the last 4 or 5 years though. I loved them equally as much as tripping, just different. They were always quick, and i almost always chose to fly over my city. I can still remember the feeling of myself pulling me up into the air through between the trees, and finally above em, and then off i went until i melted and i lost lucidity or i woke up.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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4runner


Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14587906 - 06/09/11 09:44 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I have a friend that loves dreaming more that real life.
Needless to say he is a drain on all of his friends.
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: LayinUp]
#14587921 - 06/09/11 09:46 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
DiscoBiscuitsTrip said: sounds like you might be smoking to much pot and being all downer and losing all motivation. go out and do something with yourself, start hobbies like working out, skating, playing an instrument, etc. you are your own worst enemy in this situation.
Quote:
LayinUp said:
Quote:
uber_aj said: even the thought of a 6g dose seems like "meh."
damn, what?!
me and the mrs prefer to take a half gram dried dose every two hours for...well we have been doing this now for well over 2 months
i really like the overall effects, it has been working better for me personally than the klonopin that my moron doctor prescribed me.
im so happy to be off the drugs and just taking natural, organic medicine.
? That's really weird, .5g every two hours, nonstop?
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: 4runner]
#14587931 - 06/09/11 09:48 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yeah, and then that drains me (and probably him) even more to know that it drains you. Upside down spin in a downward direction.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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LayinUp
Crush yo rating like yo butthole



Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 2,232
Loc: Between the permafrost an...
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14587955 - 06/09/11 09:53 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hrethic said:
Quote:
DiscoBiscuitsTrip said: sounds like you might be smoking to much pot and being all downer and losing all motivation. go out and do something with yourself, start hobbies like working out, skating, playing an instrument, etc. you are your own worst enemy in this situation.
Quote:
LayinUp said:
Quote:
uber_aj said: even the thought of a 6g dose seems like "meh."
damn, what?!
me and the mrs prefer to take a half gram dried dose every two hours for...well we have been doing this now for well over 2 months
i really like the overall effects, it has been working better for me personally than the klonopin that my moron doctor prescribed me.
im so happy to be off the drugs and just taking natural, organic medicine.
? That's really weird, .5g every two hours, nonstop?
yeah. i know it may sound weird. but we only eat about 6grams a day, which really isnt much.
there was a concern of tolerance - but this seems to have worked in our favor
i do not experience any "hallucinogenic" sides effects any more from dosing. the only effect from taking my dose seems to be the slight alteration of my thought processes that i desire more than any body high or random hallucination.
i used to have terrible problems with controlling certain impulses that i think are a result of my upbringing - this is no longer an issue
we are very interested in seeing the potential of psilocin as a long term medicine and will continue to experiment with it
--------------------
Escape the box.
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Terillius
Renaissance Man


Registered: 07/21/06
Posts: 1,301
Loc:
Last seen: 3 years, 12 days
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14587975 - 06/09/11 09:58 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Find something heavy and do squats for 20 minutes while watching Zuzana. Guaranteed that your animal brain will perk right up. You can't just watch either. You have to be doing the work.
http://www.youtube.com/user/charliejames1975?blend=1&ob=5
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Mad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Terillius]
#14587993 - 06/09/11 10:01 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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DrGreenThumb865
Dude, who's got the lighter?




Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 1,967
Loc: Tennessee
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14588001 - 06/09/11 10:02 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Bro get some or 
Sounds like you need some insight. And psychedelics can help, gotta be positive though.
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Newlord
The Evil White Man


Registered: 05/12/11
Posts: 720
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic] 2
#14588012 - 06/09/11 10:04 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hrethic said: I'm not saying I'm going to commit suicide, not at all. This isn't a cry for help, but more like seeing how many people feel the same way as i do. I'm sitting here with great music playing, about to plant a wonderful strain of MJ, and looking for temp jobs.. and i don't want to be here.
I've spent the last 3 weeks in a deep slumber, and i much prefer to be in there than out here. My mind is too much out here, i can never sort out anything on time. My room is a disaster, no motivation to clean it.
And the real shitter is that this is one of the best times in our world to live. And i can't seem to find a place for myself in it. Even on here, i actually know none of you, yet I'm shpleeing to you like this is my own personal therapist, what is that? It's just sad.
I have to find a path, some kind of routine, SOMETHING that will make me want to stay in this waking world more than in my dreams. I do have some pretty fantastical dreams, but then I've had some pretty amazing wakeful moments too. I just feel that i don't belong here. And also motivation, i feel NO motivation to do anything except go back to sleep, to that snowy mountain top i keep visiting, or that autobahn like highway i nearly almost fall off of but never quite do.
I even had a dream ABOUT a dream, being IN a dream last night. Some experiment in shared dreaming, and there were 3 levels. And if you think remembering a dream is hard, imagine remembering a dream WITHIN a dream, all i remember is the last level, a terribly difficult reactionary game with wrist launchers, sorta like volley ball.
No wait the one before was the 2nd level: some strategy survival quest in the mountains of some place not on this earth, very hilly and filled with patches of dead and alive grasses and trees. Had to avoid the other dreamers/questers, or make friends with them, and avoid the critters/monsters that roamed around, all while trying to find the exit.
And i found the exit, and now here i am typing it to you. I'd rather be back in there.. how sad is that?
Long post i know, didn't really help getting it out either.
I feel the exact opposite. My life could not be better. I am making good money doing what I am doing and I have another career lined up that is full of adventure!
Sucks for you bro, but you need to change your attitude. If you hate the world, the world will suck. Conversely, if you love the world, the world loves you back.
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DrGreenThumb865
Dude, who's got the lighter?




Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 1,967
Loc: Tennessee
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Newlord]
#14588079 - 06/09/11 10:20 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Newlord said: I feel the exact opposite. My life could not be better. I am making good money doing what I am doing and I have another career lined up that is full of adventure!
Sucks for you bro, but you need to change your attitude. If you hate the world, the world will suck. Conversely, if you love the world, the world loves you back.
I was wrong about you Newlord, you're alright.
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pouihi
Mary Jane Doe



Registered: 01/04/11
Posts: 2,384
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14589084 - 06/10/11 05:33 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Get a backpack and leave the world you live in.
Doesn't look like routines will work well with you.
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"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite."
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Dank_Trichome


Registered: 03/28/08
Posts: 751
Last seen: 9 years, 2 days
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: pouihi]
#14589108 - 06/10/11 05:45 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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RP needs to get laid.
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Newlord]
#14615143 - 06/14/11 11:44 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Nope bro, sorry to burst your little, or very large bubble, but that's not how it works. You think some dude in Afghanistan/Iraq/any war-torn-country with his arm blown to pieces lying there waiting to die can just "happy" himself out of his situation?
The answers no, by the way: he can't. All he can do is hope, or not hope; but his world is his, and he has only a couple options, as we all do.
As to the attitude change? Nah again. Ask anyone i know or who's known me, and they will tell you i've only ever been as optimistic and upward thinking as they've seen in a person. Nuff said. Karma, Energy, Good Vibrations and all that might exist, but if they do they are not what we think they are.
I do feel a little better today than the posting day, and yes, Trichome, i think you hit it right on the head. Pun intended, i gotta get a fucking girlfriend. Again, pun intended. I had a girlfriend, whom i very much liked, but nothing ever happened past first base. And this wasn't some preteen "LOVE", this was a girl a very much respected and liked, happenened to be religious as all get out, AND had been sexually abused as a child by her father. So no sex was happenening there. No anything except kissing. So yeah, that's one of my faults right now, like the 40 year old virgin said, "I need genital to genital and that's all there is to it"
Almost as drunk as he was now too! Woot for me.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
Edited by Hrethic (06/14/11 11:49 PM)
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Hrethic
A Human, Being


Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Passing through the bulk
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: pouihi]
#14615152 - 06/14/11 11:46 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Damn straight, but that's where my life falls apart. Things i like require routine. Air conditioning, proper plant nutrient levels and mite control, EVEN HAVING POT TO SMOKE, mushroom cultivation: all require routine. So where do i fit in? Maybe i don't, which slingshots us right back up to the top of this post.
Thanks guys, seriously, for posting so much on this, everybody. Just to see that people care enough even to say the obvious, that i need a good plow of the acres, is good to see. Thanks again.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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Dank_Trichome


Registered: 03/28/08
Posts: 751
Last seen: 9 years, 2 days
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Hrethic]
#14615156 - 06/14/11 11:47 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yeah, gfs are great for sex and sandwiches, but can get pretty quickly.
I don't know what your financial situation is, but maybe a weekly prostitue would be helpful.
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DrMambo
hamburger time



Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
Loc: 53rd & 3rd
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Dank_Trichome]
#14615170 - 06/14/11 11:50 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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if a girlfriend ever steps into my sandwich construction, shit's gonna be over mighty quick
-------------------- "Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"
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Dank_Trichome


Registered: 03/28/08
Posts: 751
Last seen: 9 years, 2 days
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: DrMambo]
#14615183 - 06/14/11 11:53 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Are you a sandwich connoisseur too? What do you like?
I'm always looking for new ideas for bomb sandwiches.
I have one of these which makes for great hot sandys.
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DrMambo
hamburger time



Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
Loc: 53rd & 3rd
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: Dank_Trichome]
#14615203 - 06/14/11 11:57 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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we shall exchange blueprints for sammich construction
-------------------- "Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"
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Dank_Trichome


Registered: 03/28/08
Posts: 751
Last seen: 9 years, 2 days
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Re: Just don't want to be in this world [Re: DrMambo]
#14615220 - 06/15/11 12:03 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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