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weedist
Duke of Mania



Registered: 10/19/10
Posts: 1,380
Loc: TN, US
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes
#14577904 - 06/08/11 01:40 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Whats you favorite Chuck Norris joke? Mine is Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares at them till they tell him the information he wants to know.
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 14 hours, 25 minutes
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14577918 - 06/08/11 01:45 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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When Chuck Norris jumps into a lake he doesn't get wet, the lake gets Chuck Norris.
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LayinUp
Crush yo rating like yo butthole



Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 2,232
Loc: Between the permafrost an...
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14577921 - 06/08/11 01:46 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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when the boogyman goes to sleep erry night, he checks his closet for chuck norris
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Escape the box.
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Divinity
Wanderer of Paths



Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 2,732
Loc: Iowa
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: LayinUp]
#14577927 - 06/08/11 01:49 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Chuck norris used bullet time matrix to stop the jfk assassination. JFK's head exploded in sheer amazement
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weedist
Duke of Mania



Registered: 10/19/10
Posts: 1,380
Loc: TN, US
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: LayinUp]
#14577928 - 06/08/11 01:49 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Every time you masturbate, Chuck Norris punches a Mexican baby in the face
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weedist
Duke of Mania



Registered: 10/19/10
Posts: 1,380
Loc: TN, US
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14577992 - 06/08/11 02:04 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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In 1999, Texas Walker Ranger aired in France for the first time. The French immediately surrendered
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Bridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.




Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14578000 - 06/08/11 02:10 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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the "jokes" stopped being funny years ago.
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LayinUp
Crush yo rating like yo butthole



Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 2,232
Loc: Between the permafrost an...
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: Bridgeburner]
#14578216 - 06/08/11 03:53 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
b0red5tiff said: the "jokes" stopped being funny years ago.
fuck this jew
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Escape the box.
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Rectangle 3D
Magical Associate



Registered: 11/16/10
Posts: 755
Loc: Camelot
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: LayinUp]
#14578262 - 06/08/11 04:25 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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chuck norriss doesn't hunt....he kills
Chuck norris will jump through your screen and put a rampage whooping on that rear, then jump back in the screen so he could laugh at you....Chuck Norris Fuck Yeaaa

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weedist
Duke of Mania



Registered: 10/19/10
Posts: 1,380
Loc: TN, US
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: Rectangle 3D]
#14582691 - 06/08/11 11:25 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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There is no such thing as evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live
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stuntmanmike


Registered: 09/16/10
Posts: 836
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14582699 - 06/08/11 11:27 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Chuck Norris is a bitch bear grylss would crack him in the head with a stick and roast him over a fire and then drink his own piss of course
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weedist
Duke of Mania



Registered: 10/19/10
Posts: 1,380
Loc: TN, US
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: stuntmanmike]
#14582716 - 06/08/11 11:32 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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you sir just uncaged the beast dude. bear grylls is a puss compared to les stroud. les stroud does shit all by himself and bear grylls eats candy bars and has his camera men stage shit for him. so if les stroud> bear grylls then obviously chuck norris >bear grylls
Edited by weedist (06/08/11 11:32 PM)
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stuntmanmike


Registered: 09/16/10
Posts: 836
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14582743 - 06/08/11 11:36 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Dude are you fucking kidding me I hate that argument les stroud is basically camping I get more hardcore when I go backpacking bear grylss jumps lava pits and climbs up glaciers and shit is bring a damn candy bar too
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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: stuntmanmike]
#14582753 - 06/08/11 11:38 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Les Stroud > Bear Grylls.
Teddy Roosevelt > Chuck Norris.
/thread.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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weedist
Duke of Mania



Registered: 10/19/10
Posts: 1,380
Loc: TN, US
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: Doc_T]
#14582760 - 06/08/11 11:39 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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YOUR ALL COMMUNISTS!!! lol jk
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stuntmanmike


Registered: 09/16/10
Posts: 836
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14582770 - 06/08/11 11:41 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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NOOOOOOOO its not over I hate les stroud
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weedist
Duke of Mania



Registered: 10/19/10
Posts: 1,380
Loc: TN, US
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: stuntmanmike]
#14582781 - 06/08/11 11:43 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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why man, he gives great tips on how to survive in places. Bear just does stunts
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14582789 - 06/08/11 11:44 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick so hard his foot went back in time and knocked Amelia Earhart out of the sky.
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asm0309
Stranger



Registered: 09/14/10
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14582809 - 06/08/11 11:51 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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i love how bear randomly finds exactly what he needs. "Hey look (insert necessary item) must have gotten (trapped, left, placed by my camera crew) and extremely useful and convenient with the point i was just making"
at least les actually gives tips and is entertaining while bear is just a douche bag with camera crew.
i like when superman goes to bed he wears chuck norris pajamas
and chuck norris doesn't do a push up he pushes the earth down.
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Equipto


Registered: 03/12/11
Posts: 1,280
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: asm0309]
#14582816 - 06/08/11 11:53 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Chuck Norris can't smoke marijuana because Chuck Norris can't take a hit
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weedist
Duke of Mania



Registered: 10/19/10
Posts: 1,380
Loc: TN, US
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: asm0309]
#14582819 - 06/08/11 11:54 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Chuck Norris is Helen Keller's favorite color
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stuntmanmike


Registered: 09/16/10
Posts: 836
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: asm0309]
#14582823 - 06/08/11 11:55 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Bear grylss is an adventure show les stroud is a camping show with tips you will never remember or probably ever need.
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weedist
Duke of Mania



Registered: 10/19/10
Posts: 1,380
Loc: TN, US
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: stuntmanmike]
#14582838 - 06/08/11 11:58 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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i find myself stranded in the wilderness on a daily basis, i do what i want. without him, i would not be here right now typing these words
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14582850 - 06/09/11 12:02 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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They once named a street after Chuck Norris but they had to rename it because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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stuntmanmike


Registered: 09/16/10
Posts: 836
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14582851 - 06/09/11 12:02 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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And I have to jump lava pits climb glaciers and eat dead goats in the tundra every day
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Two_Swarm
1+1=3

Registered: 06/08/11
Posts: 312
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14582879 - 06/09/11 12:09 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Steel Wool fell from Chuck Norris's pubes as his Iron woman cut his hair. Just be careful not to use metal on metal  Just because Chuck Norris invented the lightening hard rod, doesn't mean anything.
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Two_Swarm
1+1=3

Registered: 06/08/11
Posts: 312
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: Two_Swarm]
#14582887 - 06/09/11 12:12 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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HE JUST SAID ROD... Lightening DOES strike twice... oh ye
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sonavapreacha
Stranger


Registered: 02/02/10
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: Two_Swarm]
#14582908 - 06/09/11 12:16 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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And on the seventh day when god said "let there be rest" Chuck Norris said "say please".
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weedist
Duke of Mania



Registered: 10/19/10
Posts: 1,380
Loc: TN, US
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Chuck Norris was going to be chiseled on the side of Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard
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wildernessjunkie
Reshitivest



Registered: 06/13/10
Posts: 8,118
Loc: HTTP 404 Not Found
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Re: Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes [Re: weedist]
#14583066 - 06/09/11 01:06 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Go to www.google.com
Search "Find Chuck Norris"
Hit the "Im Feeling Lucky"
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Rectangle 3D
Magical Associate



Registered: 11/16/10
Posts: 755
Loc: Camelot
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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Bruce lee is the best fighter in history, Chuck never beat him.
Chuck did beat Jet Li tho, who is a legend and could walk and fight on bamboo sticks, chuck seems like the type to get a broken bottle to finish the fight
Speaking of fighters, any paqiao fans in here, who wants to see him whoop mayweather
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