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Anonymous #1
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I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? 1
#14574942 - 06/07/11 03:04 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Ive only been with this girl for 3 months but I broke up with her today. I really didnt want to because I love her so much and she is so amazing but I felt I had no choice.
She was in an abusive relationship, she split from him around a month or so before we got together. It appears she is still not over it. He called her today and told her he wants his family back (she has a kid with him). She told me she didnt know what to do. I dont know if she would take him back for sure (like she has done on previous occasions) but it is definitely going through her mind (for the sake of her kids maybe?).
I told her I couldnt be with her for this reason. I told her that I didnt want to sit around and wait for her to break up with me and get back with him. She didnt put much of a fight up. Now I feel like I should have stayed with her and supported her, and that this could now push her closer to him. I was away last week and she was telling me how much she loved me and missed me and hated been apart. This really made me happy.
Im really happy that she was honest with me though, she always is and I trust her. But sometimes I just dont feel like she wants to be with me.
Was I wrong?
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Anonymous #2
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14574977 - 06/07/11 03:11 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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no, you were right. She's got a kid with that dude, so she'll keep going back again and again. It wouldn't help you one bit to sit there and go through that shit
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Shroomerited


Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 1,974
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#14575005 - 06/07/11 03:17 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Everything exists in relationship to everything else.
Your relationship is a HUGE part of your life. She just seems like a ton of drama.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Shroomerited]
#14575099 - 06/07/11 03:39 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Then why do I feel so selfish?
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ifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14575225 - 06/07/11 04:00 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Then why do I feel so selfish?
Because you were the only one with the strength to break it off.
You could look at it as either permanent or temporary- depending what she does in the mean time. But for now, she needs some space, and she needs to make a decision about her ex.
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Humility
Working on it



Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#14575562 - 06/07/11 05:19 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Ive only been with this girl for 3 months but I broke up with her today. I really didnt want to because I love her so much and she is so amazing but I felt I had no choice.
She was in an abusive relationship, she split from him around a month or so before we got together. It appears she is still not over it. He called her today and told her he wants his family back (she has a kid with him). She told me she didnt know what to do.
I read this far.
You did the right thing for sure.
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Humility
Working on it



Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Humility]
#14575603 - 06/07/11 05:28 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Also, reading the full story she definitely wanted you to break up with her; she wants her family back together. She may be abused again unless something major has changed since they've been apart. Good luck to her and good job to you.
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells



Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
Loc: next door
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14575765 - 06/07/11 05:59 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Seriously man. If she wants to get back into a shitty relationship and get beaten...I say let her. If shes that stupid she deserves it. Maybe the next black eye will be the one that knocks some sense into her.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
#14575775 - 06/07/11 06:00 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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you fucked up when you gave a shit about a bitch, guy
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DieCommie

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 29,258
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: I_was_the_walrus] 1
#14575892 - 06/07/11 06:23 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
I_was_the_walrus said: If shes that stupid she deserves it. Maybe the next black eye will be the one that knocks some sense into her.
No she doesn't. She can expect it, but she doesn't deserve it. The culture of domestic violence thrives off of your attitude here.
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells



Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
Loc: next door
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: DieCommie]
#14576014 - 06/07/11 06:52 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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You misinterpreted my post. Nobody deserves to get beaten. Not even stupid women. Im saying she deserves the inevitable heartbreak.
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Humility
Working on it



Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
#14576143 - 06/07/11 07:17 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I should note Walrus that I started to write exactly that but I noted that op only stated she was in an "abusive relationship"
Though physical abuse is the most stereotypically thought of form, there exists also mental, verbal and emotional abuse.
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Jwlst
Stranger

Registered: 02/24/05
Posts: 1,338
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Humility]
#14576199 - 06/07/11 07:28 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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From my personal experience girls that date abusive boyfriends think that if you don't abuse them you must be weak or a loser. If you treat them with respect their low self esteem will ensure that they think your pathetic and desperate for caring about them. They also tend to secretly enjoy the drama of the abuse so they have something to be all dr phil/oprah about, as well as the fact their boyfriend "cares" enough to beat/stalk them.
You made the right choice breaking up with her. I think this could go both ways:
1. She will run back to boyfriend because you a pathetic loser who doesn't assert dominance over her by beating her senseless 2. She will constantly instigate crazy fights with you until you really do punch the bitch and then she can return to 'victim status' while seeking out a new partner. If you do not hit her, she will invent a form of abuse 'i.e you are emotionally abusing me by not buying me icecream'. Girls like this thrive on being a victim.
This is all completley biased information from my life and is probaly incorrect, but hope someone can relate/see this point of view.
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Subconscious
Stranger



Registered: 09/19/08
Posts: 2,486
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Jwlst]
#14576276 - 06/07/11 07:40 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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How old are you? Do you also have kids...?
If you're still young and don't have any kids do yourself a favor and move along... you don't want none of that drama. Sorry man.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Subconscious]
#14578017 - 06/08/11 02:15 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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This is actually my second post about this girl and both times ive been told to leave her. Youre right I dont need the hassle, and she needs to sort herself out. Thanks guys.
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Nezzy
The Nez



Registered: 04/30/04
Posts: 270
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14578040 - 06/08/11 02:24 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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You're all good... Right choice.
-------------------- In fact, everything we encounter in this world with our six senses is an inkblot test. You see what you are thinking and feeling, seldom what you are looking at. Shiqin
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The Influence
Free Sheeks



Registered: 03/30/11
Posts: 6,067
Loc: Not Wisconsin
Last seen: 4 months, 3 days
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Nezzy]
#14578107 - 06/08/11 02:53 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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It's like this see, bitches are like apples. If you pick an apple and while biting into it find a rotten spot (her talking of getting back with the babies daddy in front of you like your chopped liver) you dont turn the apple over and look for a better spot to bite, you throw that bitch and get yourself another apple........
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: The Influence]
#14581122 - 06/08/11 06:03 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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A relationship is two individuals who enjoy each others company and are comfortable enough with each other to share intimacy and love. A relationship is NOT what you described. She's a girl who needs someone to carry her, but carrying somebody doesn't work. She needs to decide one or the other, but even then, if I were you, I'd just stay away.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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Fleadh
Eh No....



Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 2,355
Loc: Ireland
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Joolz]
#14585289 - 06/09/11 12:24 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Girls who endure abusive relationships are broken in many ways. Its a horrible thing but you cant save them from themselves.
IF you were to date such a girl you'd want the previous relationship to be over for years, not months and certainly not a single month.
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Friendships have come and gone but I always regret the girls I didn't bang I just dont really care what you think
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason... was I wrong? [Re: Fleadh]
#14590969 - 06/10/11 02:44 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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you guys were right, she calls me up today telling me she told her ex she cannot get back with him, then starts acting like we can carry on where we left off. I tell her no, and she was like "but you broke up with me?", I explain to her again why I broke up with her, and she say I made it up and starts going mental at me. What a psycho, I feel so much better now.
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