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OfflinePoptart
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Registered: 11/05/08
Posts: 1,821
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding * 8
    #14559967 - 06/04/11 12:54 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I'm at a lose of what to do with myself. I've completely isolated myelf from the rest of society, my daily routine is to wake up eat go to the barnes and noble and read about random shit come back to my apartment read more random shit on the internet. Get stoned and lay in bed. and stare at the wall and listen to myself breathe. This is what my whole existance has come to.

Every day is the same forever. I have adhd and I never really grew up with good social skills which are very crucial in life.

On top of all this I think something in my dick is leaking. About 5 months ago I heard about a penis enlargment teqnique called jelging. Which is basically consists of slowly stretching the penis every day over a period of a couple of months. Its supposed to lenthen the penis sort of like how aborigonal cultures stretch out various body parts. I'm average down there but just decided to experiment out of boredom.

It actually worked and slowly over time i noticed a half an inch in size. Then one day I got overzealus and pulled just a little to hard the next day I woke up and my penis was cold and numb and retracted as if I was in a cold pool.

Its been three months now and my penis seems to be permanetly damaged. I can still get erections but I have a severe loss of sensetivity. and slight discoloration.

I've been to a couple urologists about this and they are pretty clueless and basically are like wow that sucks I don't know what to tell you.

So now my life just feels like a cosmic joke.

This has psychologically really fucked me up in the head. I think I've come to a point where I have just shut down and stopped living.

I used to get really sad about this but now I think I've just shut down and I don't feel anything anymore. I went to the bar last night and drank a

I don't know what to do and I can't see myself doing this much longer. But at the same time I don't think I could ever kill myself. Because even if my dick is broken. I guess living in this crippled state is better than not exsisting at all. I've pretty much accepted that there is no god or higher power and all meditation has done is make me feel detached from my mind. Enlightenment is bullshit. And drugs just provide a good time with interesting thoughts mixed with a bunch of wacked out deluded ideas mixed in with a few good ones.

Holy shit I never would have guessed my life would have come to this. I don't see myself going anywhere. I just keep telling myself to take on more breathe just keep going on more breathe. If that isnt depression I don't know what is. Life feels so fake now. Like everything is just a chemical reaction. I feel like I carry a black hole in me and every where I go I spread depression.

Edited by Poptart (11/02/11 11:03 AM)

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Offlinelimestoneman
The Return
Male User Gallery
Registered: 04/09/11
Posts: 1,997
Loc: Middle TN Flag
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Poptart]
    #14559985 - 06/04/11 12:57 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I'm sorry to hear this.
This topic should be moved to where this guy can get some proper advice. Do we have a personal problems section?

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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Poptart]
    #14559990 - 06/04/11 12:59 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Physical & Mental Well-Being.




but sorry to hear about your situation :frown:  especially teh dick thing.  sounded like a bad idea

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OfflineDevlish2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 3,641
Loc: The Astral Realm 16,376AD
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: limestoneman] * 7
    #14559995 - 06/04/11 01:00 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

You sound emo. Get a fucking hobby and yeah, trying to stretch your dick was a dumb idea.
Unless your dick is a centimeter stub, who gives a shit what your dick size is. Live and learn.


--------------------
[]
Space is the place

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OfflineAnthony917
why dont we do it in the road
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Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 3,243
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Devlish2] * 1
    #14560056 - 06/04/11 01:17 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

yeah dude you're your own worst enemy. maybe you wouldnt feel so shitty if you did something with your life.

realize YOU are the one who's creating this misery. If you're sick of doing the same thing every day, then why not do something else??


btw that sucks about your cock...shouldda left it alone man!


--------------------
Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...

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Offlinelaserpig
Weedmaster_P

Registered: 04/28/09
Posts: 7,468
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: memes] * 5
    #14560058 - 06/04/11 01:19 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Life is arbitrary and meaningless, so why bother suffering? You've got a short span of years with no purpose to achieve and your death guaranteed at the end. Just find your small pleasures, no matter how small they are, and comprehend what it is about them that you enjoy. Change your circumstances, even if only slightly, to make those enjoyments more pronounced. If you can get in that habit, then you can love life, even though no matter what you'll never understand it and it's all probably meaningless in the end.

How you feel is always just a product of momentary circumstances, always susceptible to change. If you've meditated, you know this. Nothing traps you in your mindstate other than maintenance of routine. My question to you is: why maintain a routine which yields suffering? I am not assuming you have superhuman willpower to lift yourself up by your bootstraps. I am telling you that in this finite and arbitrary existence, you have the chance to feel happy or the chance to feel sad. Either way, you're only gonna feel it for a little while before lights out. So why not at least finagle your circumstances a little bit to bring out more pleasure where you can?

People seem to get the idea that they deserve to be sad because they've wasted their life being so sad. They punish themselves for punishing themselves. But guess what? Nobody deserves anything. Shit's random.

There are some things you enjoy. That's a fact. Identify them and move towards them. If that seems like amoral, pointless sense gratification, who cares? You live then you die. Stop withholding permission from yourself to be happy.


--------------------
Weedmaster P knows the truth.

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InvisibleMad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Poptart] * 3
    #14560063 - 06/04/11 01:20 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah, you learned the hard way that stretching your cock is a bad idea.

Seriously though, I have sympathy for your situation and wish you the best of luck.

I have two small pieces of advice:

Do some exercise and go into nature. I guarantee you'll feel better.

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Offlinemarmarwoohoo
Male

Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 495
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Poptart]
    #14560066 - 06/04/11 01:21 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

wow dude that sucks

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Invisibleshadowplay
Female User Gallery

Registered: 05/15/10
Posts: 1,337
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Devlish2]
    #14560070 - 06/04/11 01:22 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I wish I had as much spare time as you do. Learn to play an instrument. If you get that down learn more until you can produce albums yourself or something. Learn a new language. Take some fighting classes. Instead of just reading random shit try War and Peace or something that will make you feel like you accomplished something. Sounds like you just need to make life more interesting.

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OfflineThe Ecstatic
Chilldog Extraordinaire


Registered: 11/11/09
Posts: 33,649
Loc: 'Merica Flag
Last seen: 8 hours, 23 minutes
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Devlish2]
    #14560072 - 06/04/11 01:23 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

sounds like you're the only person holding you back.

Get out of your room and meet some people, and stop trying to stretch your dick. 

It's not just some solid mass that can expand without consequences, there are veins and shit in there yo. :chillin:


:superiority:


--------------------

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InvisibleMad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: The Ecstatic]
    #14560079 - 06/04/11 01:25 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

The Ecstatic said:
sounds like you're the only person holding you back.





QFT

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OfflineDevlish2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 3,641
Loc: The Astral Realm 16,376AD
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Mad_Larkin]
    #14560089 - 06/04/11 01:28 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Your dick ain't going to stretch like this bro.



--------------------
[]
Space is the place

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OfflineEverything
(~} ;-}
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/26/10
Posts: 5,157
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Poptart]
    #14560097 - 06/04/11 01:31 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Your life is depressing because your making it that way, and that is the real cosmic joke right there.
There is so much you could be doing its ridiculous your just going to barns n noble every day. you need to expand your life, and i know it sounds scary but you will be so much happier when you do.

I'd recommend you quit smoking weed for a while. develop as many interests as you can in things. Go to social gatherings and make friends. Just do whatever you can to break free of your everyday mundane life.

the whole penis thing sucks a little though.

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OfflineThe Ecstatic
Chilldog Extraordinaire


Registered: 11/11/09
Posts: 33,649
Loc: 'Merica Flag
Last seen: 8 hours, 23 minutes
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Everything]
    #14560113 - 06/04/11 01:34 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

1. do a little self-exploration and develop some interests/hobbies

2. find like-minded individuals to develop your infantile social skills

3. ???

4. profit prosper


:murray:


--------------------

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OfflineROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Everything]
    #14560118 - 06/04/11 01:35 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Everything said:
Your life is depressing because your making it that way, and that is the real cosmic joke right there.
There is so much you could be doing its ridiculous your just going to barns n noble every day. you need to expand your life, and i know it sounds scary but you will be so much happier when you do.

I'd recommend you quit smoking weed for a while. develop as many interests as you can in things. Go to social gatherings and make friends. Just do whatever you can to break free of your everyday mundane life.

the whole penis thing sucks a little though.





I agree with this entire post.


--------------------

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Offlinedaz01
Learning
I'm a teapot

Registered: 09/30/10
Posts: 4,652
Loc: Scotland
Last seen: 1 day, 1 hour
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: ROFL_my_ WAFFLE]
    #14560165 - 06/04/11 01:47 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, shit :shrug:
As everyone else said, only YOU can fix yourself. Only you.


--------------------
Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute or an hour or a day or even a year but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it will last forever.

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OfflinePoptart
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Registered: 11/05/08
Posts: 1,821
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: daz01] * 1
    #14560433 - 06/04/11 02:52 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I feel like I'm on autopilot though. and I cant change anything.
Like my will was drained from adderall.

Edited by Poptart (06/04/11 03:00 PM)

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OfflinePoptart
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/05/08
Posts: 1,821
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: The Ecstatic]
    #14560468 - 06/04/11 02:59 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

The Ecstatic said:
sounds like you're the only person holding you back.

Get out of your room and meet some people, and stop trying to stretch your dick. 

It's not just some solid mass that can expand without consequences, there are veins and shit in there yo. :chillin:


:superiority:




I realized that stretching my dick was bad several months ago.

But it's not getting any better. And its starting to smell.

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InvisibleMad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Poptart]
    #14560472 - 06/04/11 03:00 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Fucks sake man. Get to a doctor.

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OfflinePoptart
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/05/08
Posts: 1,821
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Living alone, no future plans, and my dick is internally bleeding [Re: Mad_Larkin]
    #14560492 - 06/04/11 03:04 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Mad_Larkin said:
Fucks sake man. Get to a doctor.




I already explained I've been to 2 urologists. a urologist is a doctor specialized in that area.

I'm pretty intuitive and I got the feeling that the doctor honestly didn't know what to do and he basically just had to tell me some bullshit story to get out of his office. Because he was to scared to admit he's never dealt with anything like it before. He basically just said I'll refer you to someone else. But I could tell from the look in his eyes he knew my life was fucked.

Edited by Poptart (06/04/11 03:06 PM)

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