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Offlinedesant
Pleiadian Revolutionary
Male


Registered: 03/31/09
Posts: 7,038
Loc: Aether
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Funny story time
    #14558742 - 06/04/11 03:03 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Im first!

I was in Amsterdam in 2005 and met this spanish backpacker there in a hostel...

We were all settling down for a evening of E and hash when Spanish dude popped in and tells us he "scored"!

He pulls out his shit - it is a one large white PILL !!

He tells me (crackheads) on the street told him its a gram of cocaine!

He says he paid 50 euros for it!

So we crush it and test the powder. I have no idea what it is and all test say it has no coke in it what so ever.

50 euros down the toilet! :tongue2::rolleyes::crazy2:


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InvisibleMad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
Re: Funny story time [Re: desant]
    #14558749 - 06/04/11 03:06 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah, it's hilarious that you snorted a random white pill without knowing what it was.

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Offlinedesant
Pleiadian Revolutionary
Male


Registered: 03/31/09
Posts: 7,038
Loc: Aether
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Funny story time [Re: Mad_Larkin]
    #14558755 - 06/04/11 03:08 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

actually i didnt snort it

we had a test kit for coke , that and wiped my gum with it - no use - no coke :shrug:


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InvisibleMad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
Re: Funny story time [Re: desant]
    #14558772 - 06/04/11 03:20 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Just playing brah. I would tell you a funny story but I don't have any...

:feelsbadman:

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InvisiblePoid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area Flag
Re: Funny story time [Re: Mad_Larkin]
    #14558801 - 06/04/11 03:38 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

...this was during the Los Angeles
                marijuana drought of '86.  I still
                had a connection.  Which was
                insane, 'cause you couldn't get
                weed anyfuckinwhere then.  Anyway,
                I had a connection with this
                hippie chick up in Santa Cruz.
                All and my friends knew it.  And
                they'd give me a call and say,
                "Hey, Freddy, you buyin some, you
                think you could buy me some too?"
                They knew I smoked, so they'd ask
                me to buy a little for them when I
                was buyin.  But it got to be
                everytime I bought some weed, I
                was buyin for four or five
                different people.  Finally I said,
                "Fuck this shit."  I'm makin this
                bitch rich.  She didn't have to do
                jack shit, she never even had to
                meet these people.  I was fuckin
                doin all the work.  So I got
                together with her and told her,
                "Hey, I'm sick of this shit.  I'm
                comin through for everybody, and
                nobody's comin through for me.
                So, either I'm gonna tell all my
                friends to find their own source,
                or you give me a bunch of weed,
                I'll sell it to them, give you the
                money, minus ten percent, and I
                get my pot for free."  So, I did
                if for awhile......but then that got to be a pain
                in the ass.  People called me on
                the phone all the fuckin time.  I
                couldn't rent a fuckin tape
                without six phone calls
                interrupting me.  "Hey, Freddy,
                when's the next time you're gettin
                some?"  "Motherfucker, I'm tryin
                to watch 'Lost Boys'-- when I have
                some, I'll let you know."  And
                then these rinky-dink pot heads
                come by--there's my friends and
                everything, but still.  I got all
                my shit laid out in sixty dollar
                bags.  Well, they don't want sixty
                dollars worth.  They want ten
                dollars worth.  Breaking it up is
                a major fuckin pain in the ass.  I
                don't even know how much ten
                dollars worth is.  "Well, fuck,
                man, I don't want that much
                around.  If I have that much
                around I'll smoke it."  "Hey, if
                you guys can't control your
                smokin, that's not my problem.
                You motherfuckers been smokin for
                five years, be a adult about it."
                Finally I just told my connection,
                count me out.  But as it turns
                out, I'm the best guy she had, and
                she depended alot on my business.
                But I was still sick to death of
                it.  And she's trying to talk me
                into not quitin.
                Now this was a very weird
                situation, 'cause I don't know if
                you remember back in '86, there
                was a major fuckin drought.
                Nobody and anything.  People were
                livin on resin and smokin the wood
                in their pipes for months.  And
                this chick had a bunch, and was
                beggin me to sell it.  So I told
                her I wasn't gonna be Joe the Pot
                Man anymore.  But I would take a
                little bit and sell it to my
                close, close, close friends.  She
                agreed to that, and said we'd keep
                the same arrangement as before,
                ten percent and free pot for me,
                as long as I helped her out that
                weekend.  She had a brick of weed
                she was sellin, and she didn't
                want to go to the buy alone...


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Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
eggshells
 User Gallery

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Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
Loc: next door
Re: Funny story time [Re: desant]
    #14558804 - 06/04/11 03:40 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I met some dudes in las vegas a few months back. Friends of friends. I stayed at his house like 10 years ago in southern california when the band I was in was touring a few states and having fun. So Im in vegas, I see on his facebook he is too. Im like brah!! Lemme buy you a drink.

I woke up the next day passed out in the back of his friends jeep in san diego. Im like wtf? I guess his friend was leaving that night and I insisted he take me with him so I could hitch hike down into cabo san lucas mexico. Well not the brightest idea I guess...and I had to hitch hike back to vegas.

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InvisibleAbstraKt_I_Am


Registered: 12/21/10
Posts: 1,898
Loc: Abroad.
Re: Funny story time [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #14558833 - 06/04/11 03:59 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I was at a beach. I spent an hour in the woods before hand. Beach was full of people. Nothing but swimming trunks on. Big ass hairy spider dangling from a web does some spider man shit and zip lines up my trunks. Im Arachnidphobic. I drop shorts. Run 400 feet past the elderly, vacationing families and children butt naked. My friends kill the spider but don't hand me my swimming trunks. I wait an hour in chest deep water naked and terrified of something biting my man hood.

Park Ranger/ Police get called because people think I just chose to get naked and hang in the water. I explain. They laughed at my humiliation, thus I get sparred being arrested. Shittiest camping trip ever.


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: Funny story time [Re: desant]
    #14558852 - 06/04/11 04:28 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Alright. So we australian's enjoy our cricket. every summer near the end of the year around christmas theres this thing called " the boxing day test " (boxing day is a holiday after christmas in australia). and on this day there usually is a big cricket game going on at the MCG, Melbourne Cricket Ground, aka EPIC STADIUM, 80,000-100,000 people capacity. Now in the MCG, when the cricket is on, there is a section of the stands known as " Bay 13 ".


This Bay 13 is the rendevous point for all the alcoholics, hooligans and general party animal sorts. throughout the day there is non stop chanting, and cheering. it's like a party in the crowd. heaps of people go to the cricket just to hang out in Bay 13, not even to watch the game, they watch the crowd.


And they are a rowdy sort out in Bay 13. Some of the basic chants are: when someone appears at the top of the steps and walks down to their seat holding one beer or more, more often then not, someone in the crowd will stand up and turn around and point to them , and scream " SKULLLLLLLL " ( that is aussie term for drink, i.e. i think you guys say shotgun a beer or something, anyway drink your beer in one go basically ). and if the rest of bay 13 catches on, everyone turns around and starts chating SKULL  , SKULL , SKULL , SKULL and pointing at them untill they down their beer. ofcourse you have to oblige this chant and skull your beer. some people even just get a beer just for the attention and fun of it. afterwards many lulz and cheers and enjoyed by the crowd.


Another chant they have (and yes this is sexist..) is when an attractive lady walks down from the top of the stairs, the crowd sometimes starts chanting " TITS, OUT, FOR THE BOYZ, TITS OUT FOR THE BOYZS " :lol: and sometimes they actually flash their boobs, except they get kicked out alot now if they do. one time we got this chick with MASSIVE tits man to flash her boobs, everyone chipped in like $5 $10 and we gave her $100. but she got kicked out afterwards, but we snuck her back in with fake passouts and gave her a cap so she wouldn't be picked up by cameras.


Another thing that happens alot in Bay 13 is known as  " the mexican wave ". i'm sure you all know what this is. its the alpha chant. the chant to end all chants. basically the crowd forms a wave that flows around the arena with people jumping up and screaming and whatnot. when you have 80,000 people joining in, shit gets hectic man. the people at bay 13 start the wave and they point to it as it travels around the whole arena, and when its about halfway close to bay 13, everyone starts banging on the chairs with their hands, which doesn't sound like much, but when there is a solid few thousand people doing this in unison it makes this megga RUMBLING sound. fucken awesome man. and when it's about 1/4 away people start a rising kind of ooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHH yell :lol:. Then once the wave hits bay13, shit gets hectic man. people start jumping up in the air throwing their arms up in the air and screaming and yelling, and whatever people have in their hands gets thrown in the air. empty plastic beer cups, torn up bits of paper or cardboard signs, like literally anything dude. shit gets crazy. so much so that you have to look up and ensure you don't get hit with anything. nothing dangerous though, you just get covered in shit basically.


The funniest was this one guy man. rofl. he had like a squeezer thing of sun screen, and during the wave he got so g'd up that he tried to squirt it all in the air during the wave, but it went directly up and STRAIGHT ONTO THE FACE OF HIS BEST FRIEND. LOLLLLLL. and sun screen when it gets on your clothes and hair, that shit doesnt come out. so that guy was covered in shit all day. so funny.



But basically, throughout the day the crowd gets more rowdy and intoxicated, and any trouble makers are thrown out by security. they have cameras watching the whole time and the people in the camera room radio to the cops in the stands who to kick out . i.e.: "fourth row blue shirt red hat" etc. and so as the game progresses on, people get more and more wild, and more people get kicked out. HOWEVER....at the end of the game, when every1 is blind drunk, and just generally doesn't give a fuck anymore, people start getting crazy, because they have the mentality of " well the games over , what is security going to do, kick me out?! "


SO THE SCENE IS SET........



and this one guy man, after the wave had gone around like 10-15+++ times, he got himself a bit too g'd up. he had a full unopened 2litre bottle of coke. now this ewok decides hes going to shake this bottle up, and spray EVERY PERSON IN BAY 13 around him in a 360 degree motion. and mid chant we notice every1 is like spreading out and running away. we look and see people getting like completely drenched by this ewok. like everyone ran and scattered in a 360 degree range of motion, and he was still spraying people atleast 3-4 metres away with coke. and you should have seen the look on this guys face man, he had the biggest smile on his face man --> :awebig: he was so caught up in the moment dude. BUT THEN.....SLOWLY BUT SURELY....THE FIZZ RUNS OUT OF HIS COKE BOTTLE RIGHT.....LOLLLLLL. and his face just turns to :awesurprise: as he realises the situation he is now in . his spray slowly starts to slow down to a trickle, untill its just tipping out of the bottle normally like when your pouring a glass. he has just sprayed shit over about a few hundred people, and there is complete emptyness around him and EVERYONE staring at him. and after about 3 or 4 seconds of this, people were just like, fuck that ay :megacrankey: and THE WHOLE OF BAY 13 started pelting this damn failboat kid with everything they could grab. like so much so that he had to duck down and hide under the seats. it was like one of those food fights you see on tv, except all being thrown at that one guy. anyway security comes to take him away. and out of no where, someone threw an esky --->






one of these things, off the 2nd level. luckily it was empty. it landed and broke about 3 seats dude in one go. that was pretty fucked. it sounds worse then it is though, liek there was no one around who would get hit by it. but yeah. thats one of the many stories of Bay 13. Sorry if it is tl;dr standard. i hope you enjoyed and atleast had some lulz or amazement from that story. :grin:


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,068
Re: Funny story time [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14558868 - 06/04/11 04:44 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

-----------------
Disclaimer: Driving drunk is dangerous to yourself and others. It is something I no longer do, and I deeply regret my past errors in judgement, but I always found this kinda funny.  Please take this story as a warning as I was one of those people convinced that I could handle myself on any amount of alcohol.
-----------------
Ok, 18 years old, a few days before I was supposed to leave for college, 3AM, small-town Massachusetts. I've just crashed my car into a phone pole, drunk, on my way home from a party.  I am in a ditch with a broken axel, smashed out windows, and a car full of empties which I had taken in a bag from the party.  I had agreed to take them and was supposed to ditch them but what can I say, I hate to litter and I was drunk.  After trying to pull out of the ditch unsuccessfully, I realize that I just might be in a spot of trouble, and at some point become worried about the sandwich baggie in my pocket containing about a gram of Vermont outdoors.  This was before minor posession was decriminalized in MA.

I really couldn't tell you my thought process in this moment, but for some reason I decided to stick the baggie up my ass rather than try to ditch it.  It is very possible that I wanted to make sure I'd have it for after the inevitable shitstorm I was about to endure, it was a hasty decision to say the least.  So I walk out to the road, still thinking that I may be able to get out of this somehow, and a policewoman shows up in no time...
-----------------
...I am sitting on that concrete bench at the station, focused on clenching my butt cheeks to keep in the baggie that has slowly been working its way out as I rise and sit to do searches, prints, and paperwork.  When I am instructed to stand so they can photograph me, I feel the baggie slide down my leg, out my shorts, and see it land on the floor by my foot.  Reacting, I reach down, act like I'm scratching my leg and try to pick up the baggie and slip it into my pocket on the sly.  Despite my master deception skills they somehow saw what had happened, and asked what I had just picked up.

Handing over the weed to the male cop in the room, he examined the baggie and took out the weed, bringing it up to his nose and giving it a sniff.  "Pretty good bud." he says to me almost jovially, obviously satisfied with himself, then with more suspiscion, "Where'd you have this? She searched you pretty good."

"In my ass." I tell him, apologetically.  He examines the weed a bit closer.

"Whats this brown stuff?"  I didn't have any brown stuff and told him so,

"I dunno, I hope it's not my shit."  He promptly put down the baggie, left the room, and came back wearing latex gloves giving me the scare of my life as I feared he would stick fingers up my bum.  He didn't, he just picked up the sandwich bag and put it in another bag.  They had been somewhat cool with me up to that point but things got a little wierd after that.  I have nothing against police even if they like to smell my butthash, but they took my deception as a personal offence, not a drunken mistake.
-----------------
So aside from 'don't drink and drive' the other moral to this story is:  If you're gonna stick a baggie up yo' butt and you want to keep it in there, don't be afraid to get your fingers dirty.

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