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Offlinemarmarwoohoo
Male

Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 495
Last seen: 11 years, 28 days
Does anybody else know what I mean?
    #14553989 - 06/03/11 01:39 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Normally the feeling I get on adderall is way out of control.
Control seems to be a big issue.
Like it makes me aware of everything that is being over-controlled.
I become just controlled enough so that I can take ideas into certain territories I feel that I have not dared go before.
Things seem to make more sense.
Confusion is more easily managed and accepted.
There is an in the moment quality to things.
I take things very seriously. Everything takes on universal life significance.
I am searching and exploring. Putting myself out there. Becoming, manifesting, in every moment. Being IT, the full felt experience in every moment.
Nothing gets held back.
I can go deeper, and question rather than shy away from fear.
Not everything makes sense, but it becomes ok to not know and still continue on.
Not knowing is another experience to be questioned and worked through. It is still something worth exploring, and because it is what I frequently feel, it is something that I have to work with.
I can take it deep because there is so much of it there. But it lets me feel things in new ways so that I begin to have many experiences that feel somewhat significant. The effect wears off, but the memory and the energy of the experience remains for me to work with if I can access it.
Accessing this flow of memories, stored as feelings I experience quite vividly, becomes the challenge that every moment of my life faces.
I am either in it or not in it.
Not in it is always moving towards it, and in it is always right there.


Edited by marmarwoohoo (06/03/11 01:40 AM)


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Offlinefoliocb
always running
Male


Registered: 07/14/08
Posts: 1,152
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Does anybody else know what I mean? [Re: marmarwoohoo]
    #14554210 - 06/03/11 03:45 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

i feel pretty streamlined on adderal :banhamster:


--------------------
^v^


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OfflineLion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 4 days, 22 hours
Re: Does anybody else know what I mean? [Re: foliocb]
    #14554807 - 06/03/11 09:46 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I can definitely relate to what you're describing!  I used to have a prescription, but I didn't like it.  Then I used it a couple times in pretty high doses to write papers and take exams in university.  Some of the experiences were euphoric like ecstacy and introspective like psychedelics, but overall I just wanted to talk a lot and listen to music.  I once wrote a poem at the peak of a strong adderall experience.

Quote:

O life,
you ephemeral beauty
I can't hold on to you...you slip away
Unsure of how to play with you, I often find myself
hurt
confused and lonely.

Your deepest secrets toy with me
Luring me into the abyss
I like it best when you are sunny
and clarity is felt as the cries of
children playing and a warm meal with friends

Dangling what I could be
in front of my eyes like colored plastic trinkets
Before a baby
I am caught in your alluring gaze and
There seems no end to its shallow depths

Come with me,
My nervous system is excited by
Chemicals you've placed in my hands
To while away the day
In empty play




--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”


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Offlinedeff
just love everyone
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,406
Loc: clarity Flag
Last seen: 7 hours, 48 minutes
Re: Does anybody else know what I mean? [Re: Lion]
    #14555178 - 06/03/11 11:37 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

nice poem :sun:


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Offlinemarmarwoohoo
Male

Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 495
Last seen: 11 years, 28 days
Re: Does anybody else know what I mean? [Re: Lion]
    #14555218 - 06/03/11 11:46 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Lion said:
I can definitely relate to what you're describing!  I used to have a prescription, but I didn't like it.  Then I used it a couple times in pretty high doses to write papers and take exams in university.  Some of the experiences were euphoric like ecstacy and introspective like psychedelics, but overall I just wanted to talk a lot and listen to music.  I once wrote a poem at the peak of a strong adderall experience.

Quote:

O life,
you ephemeral beauty
I can't hold on to you...you slip away
Unsure of how to play with you, I often find myself
hurt
confused and lonely.

Your deepest secrets toy with me
Luring me into the abyss
I like it best when you are sunny
and clarity is felt as the cries of
children playing and a warm meal with friends

Dangling what I could be
in front of my eyes like colored plastic trinkets
Before a baby
I am caught in your alluring gaze and
There seems no end to its shallow depths

Come with me,
My nervous system is excited by
Chemicals you've placed in my hands
To while away the day
In empty play







I really like this! I know the feeling


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Offlinevvitchdoctor
El Duderino
Male

Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 104
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: Does anybody else know what I mean? [Re: deff]
    #14555324 - 06/03/11 12:04 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

touching...


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