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Anonymous #1

Fated to be alone.
    #14542446 - 05/31/11 08:07 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I'm truly starting to believe in fate. I didn't use to. I "knew" i could make a choice about something, and depending on what i chose, it would go different. But I'm starting to see that my life is nothing more than an equation. A very complex one, but an unchangeable one.

There are only so many people in the world, but there only so many resources (air, other people, food, land). Some people are simply fated to be completely screwed. Either in one swoop, or very long and semi painfully. I think I'm in that second category. I have food, i have some drugs, some pot that i grew myself, obviously a computer and internet: I'm not saying my life is completely terrible. I'm talking about the future.

I thought at one time that it could be changed, that i could do something and things might turn out different. I don't believe in that anymore. I've lost whatever faith i had, or whatever you call it. I'm destined to be a loser.

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Anonymous #2

Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #14542452 - 05/31/11 08:08 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Have you ever heard of a self-fulfulling prophecy?

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OfflineBipolarbear
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Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #14542486 - 05/31/11 08:16 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

:foreveralone:





no, but seriously Anon #2 has a good point.  Your thoughts are incredibly powerful and able to determine the course of your life.  If your outlook is dire on future prospects then you will return poor results consequentially.  I also wouldn't think about being alone as being a loser.  Use your alone time to hone a skill that would make you more attractive to a potential mate.  And just get out there and date just for the practice.  Seriously it's like going to job interviews that you have no desire of getting just to practice it you will be surprised at how easy and rote it can become.  Join okcupid or something like it and just go out and date even if you aren't really interested in the girl just to get you in the mode.

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Invisibleflameclown
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Re: Fated to be alone. *DELETED* [Re: Bipolarbear]
    #14542505 - 05/31/11 08:21 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Post deleted by flameclown

Reason for deletion: [this post is damn old]


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Anonymous #3

Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: flameclown]
    #14542564 - 05/31/11 08:31 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Awesome to know that I'm a "practise" date for others....as if I myself am not a worthy human being in my own.

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OfflineBipolarbear
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Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #14542598 - 05/31/11 08:39 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Awesome to know that I'm a "practise" date for others....as if I myself am not a worthy human being in my own.





Why do you think he was talking to you?  Do you have really low self-esteem or are you a gargantuan fatty or something?

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Anonymous #2

Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #14542603 - 05/31/11 08:40 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Not all "fat" girls are considered unattractive by all men. Take me for example, most girls I have been with are at the very least volumptuous. I have been w/ skinny girls but they are just not as attractive to me, and I prefer some meat on the bones. Plus I love the big boobs and asses, and usually it's the bigger girls that have the biggest ones :crazy2:. Send a PM my way girl. We'll sort you out.

And black guys. They love fat chicks, especially if they are white. Get you a black man and make a little interracial child so your Grandma will disown you.

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Anonymous #4

Re: Fated to be alone. *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #14542707 - 05/31/11 09:01 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: [this post is damn old]


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Offlinedummy
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Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #14543621 - 06/01/11 12:06 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

if you think you'll be miserable alone then you shall be. find that inner peace and you'll free yourself of the pain.


--------------------
People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.

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InvisibleshLong
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Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #14544691 - 06/01/11 07:37 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Awesome to know that I'm a "practise" date for others....as if I myself am not a worthy human being in my own.



:facepalm:

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Invisiblekoraks
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Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: Anonymous #3] * 1
    #14544726 - 06/01/11 07:56 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Awesome to know that I'm a "practise" date for others....as if I myself am not a worthy human being in my own.



Nah, I think it's a valid remark. No need to disrespect fat girls. But let's be honest: some dates are practice dates, not intended to result in a serious, long-term relationship. And that's regardless of the physical or psychological characteristics of the people involved.

@OP: try to get your head around these concepts:
- Fate only exists if you want it to. I agree with Anon#2: it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- If you want to hide behind your self-imposed 'fate', be my guest. But also be assured that exactly this tendency will make you unattractive to the vast majority of girls, save for a few misguided, self-loathing psychological wrecks with even less self-respect than you have yourself. If you want to be with that sort of girl, then that's a valid decision, and I think you're on the right track. But something tells me that it's not necessarily what you're looking for in your life.
- With 6 billion people in the world, half of them of the opposite sex, odds are that there is at least one for you. Heck, there's probably thousands that could fancy you at one point or another, provided the circumstances are in place (you actually get to meet them etc; there's probably lots of North-Korean and Chinese girls you might have a match with, but whom you'll never meet). There's safety in numbers.
- If you believe that due to the large world population at this moment, the value of a human life, and yours in particular, is very low, then that's a valid belief, but not one that is bound to make you happy. It's also not necessarily a correct belief. What determines the value of your life? Is there a total worldwide life value and do we all get a piece? Or is it something you create yourself? I believe the latter is true: your life is as valuable as you define it to be. If you believe your life is worth living, then it is. Personally, I believe my life is worth living, and I believe I'm a valuable person to some people around me. I don't need to save the entire world to believe that, I only have to treat the people I care for well. If you decide to be helpful to others, to be enjoyable company to the people around you, to love those who love you, then you'll find that it's actually quite easy to be convinced of the value of your life. Your life is worth living if you make it so. You're in control.
- If you manage to build some confidence and self esteem (see above), you'll notice that you'll automatically become attractive. Not to everyone, and it doesn't mean that you'll be instantly humped by hordes of horny women, but you'll find that people enjoy your company. And once in a while, there's a special person among those people, someone you want to spend time with, and who wants to spend time with you. That then is the fruit of building confidence and genuinely having faith in yourself.

You are now far away from that point where you have faith in yourself, and you are the only one who can do something about it. The only thing I can tell you is that I genuinely believe that your life is as much worth living as mine or anyone else's. You have a right to feel happy, and you don't need to feel afraid or guilty of striving for your own happiness. Enjoy your place in a world of unlimited possibilities for initiating contact with the inspiring, loving, wise, entertaining and all-round enjoyable people around you :thumbup:

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14545214 - 06/01/11 11:02 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I'm truly starting to believe in fate. I didn't use to. I "knew" i could make a choice about something, and depending on what i chose, it would go different. But I'm starting to see that my life is nothing more than an equation. A very complex one, but an unchangeable one.

There are only so many people in the world, but there only so many resources (air, other people, food, land). Some people are simply fated to be completely screwed. Either in one swoop, or very long and semi painfully. I think I'm in that second category. I have food, i have some drugs, some pot that i grew myself, obviously a computer and internet: I'm not saying my life is completely terrible. I'm talking about the future.

I thought at one time that it could be changed, that i could do something and things might turn out different. I don't believe in that anymore. I've lost whatever faith i had, or whatever you call it. I'm destined to be a loser.





What needs to be different?  Do you need all desires met to be happy?  To some very poor person in the third world you live in a paradise of bliss. They were never taught that they were entitled to have all dreams and desires fulfilled.

We are all fated to be alone whether you understand that or not.  What you are looking for is some distraction so you don't have to feel what you feel.  Feelings can be changed you know.  It starts with how you choose to look at things and talk to yourself about them. And it takes time so you have to be patient.

I've been "alone" for several years now and imo it keeps getting better. Why oh why did I wait so long to cut all that drama out of my life?:lol:

Good luck bro.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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OfflineHumility
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Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: koraks]
    #14549621 - 06/02/11 06:32 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Koraks that was a really good post.


Being alone is fine; its good even.

Lonliness is something different.  There's a thread somewhere around here on this subject.


In the end IMO its all about self-perception and self-worth.  A *lot* of people out there have passively and actively learned a lot of bullshit about who and what they are and have internalized that information to their detriment.

That's what the whole "be yourself" thing is about.  In the moment of "simply" being yourself and enjoying your life you become many times more attractive to other individuals.


--------------------

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InvisibleshLong
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Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: Humility]
    #14549630 - 06/02/11 06:37 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Humility, tell yo girl to stop ignoring me, I did nothing to her :rofl:


Koraks always has good posts...I wish I had that way with words
Quote:

Humility said:
In the end IMO its all about self-perception and self-worth.  A *lot* of people out there have passively and actively learned a lot of bullshit about who and what they are and have internalized that information to their detriment.





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Anonymous #3

Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: shLong]
    #14552462 - 06/02/11 07:34 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Apparently I'm fated to be alone too....Tried online dating and it was nothing but jerks and people who weren't interested in anything serious or long term, just a short fuck.  So I mean what the fuck, in this thread someone suggested to go online and find some fat chick to practice with.  I guess it just rubs me a long way that people are actually give advice to seek people like me out and treat us like someone who doesn't deserve a serious relationship, that we should be used for practice before they move on to a real prize? Whatever happened to treating everyone like a real person, with respect and decency.

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Invisibleflameclown
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Re: Fated to be alone. *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #14552538 - 06/02/11 07:55 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Post deleted by flameclown

Reason for deletion: [this post is damn old]


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OfflineDrGreenThumb865
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Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: flameclown]
    #14552550 - 06/02/11 07:59 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

If you always do what you've always done
You'll always get what you've always gotten.

I've learned this the hard way, trust me...


--------------------
:mushdance:



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Offlinedummy
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Re: Fated to be alone. [Re: DrGreenThumb865]
    #14554098 - 06/03/11 02:25 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

flameclown said:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
Apparently I'm fated to be alone too....Tried online dating and it was nothing but jerks and people who weren't interested in anything serious or long term, just a short fuck.  So I mean what the fuck, in this thread someone suggested to go online and find some fat chick to practice with.  I guess it just rubs me a long way that people are actually give advice to seek people like me out and treat us like someone who doesn't deserve a serious relationship, that we should be used for practice before they move on to a real prize? Whatever happened to treating everyone like a real person, with respect and decency.




I was the person who suggested finding fat chicks to practice on. I was trying to give honest advice, not be negative to the larger ladies. I could make jokes about ‘rubbing you the long way’ as you put it, but to be serious I want to address this issue head on.

Dating sites are a great way to meet new people, to broaden your horizons. Some people just need a bit of practice on how to properly interact with the opposite sex, my suggestion that those people find someone to practice on is not a bash at bigger chicks but rather a reflection that bigger chicks are generally more approachable and easier to please. They have to be, less guys are ogling at them all the damn time. Seriously, are you going to reject a person right off the bat because they have a silly shirt on, or they don’t wear their hat the proper way? I bet not. I was once outright rejected at a bar because the girl told me my glasses made me look like a nerd. WTF is that about? I took a huge hit to my confidence that night that lingered for weeks. Larger girls just arnt going to say that shit to you because they want to leave their opportunities open.

Lets talk about myself, because there is a ton to make fun of. Im tall, as in really tall. Im also scrawny. I just gained some weight while on vacation, but before that you could see the outline of my pelvis and ribs. It was kinda gross actually. In the same way you’re fat, I’m skinny. The fact that im practically blind without huge bottle cap glasses doesn’t help either. Contact are a no go for me. My first GF was close to 160lbs, which isn’t huge but being as Im tall and skinny, we definitely looked a bit odd together. She was great, but tragically she chose to move away for economic opportunities in another state. She taught me to interact with the opposite sex, I doubt some 120lb hottie would have even considered letting me get farther than slap in the face.

After that experience I went onto Plentyoffish.com and practiced some of the things that I learned on new girls, yes fat girls. I wasn’t looking for a one night fling, I was looking to practice. One girl I took out on many dates, but it just wasn’t working. I had respect for everyone I took out, except for one because she was a complete bitch from the start. Learning to respect your date and speak to them in a way that makes them feel good about themselves is part of the practice. Eventually I refined my approach and limited my search and eventually found a gf. My point is that just because someone is broadening their search and practice with girls they don’t intend on marrying, it’s not necessarily because they don’t intend on treating their date with respect and decency.



Quote:

DrGreenThumb865 said:
If you always do what you've always done
You'll always get what you've always gotten.

I've learned this the hard way, trust me...



good stuf guys :smile:


--------------------
People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.

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