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OfflineAnthony917
why dont we do it in the road
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Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 3,243
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Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: DeliciousVinyl]
    #14543003 - 05/31/11 09:59 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DeliciousVinyl said:
yeah talking to my parents after smoking always felt
:feelsweirdman:

i tired to avoid it at all cost


but its been a few years since i've lived with them
so all is well
:gethigh:




i talk to my dad daily when i'm blazed...
at first it was weird, then i became more comfortable with it, and now it's basically the same as talking to him sober


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Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...

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OfflineNormal Flora
Female


Registered: 05/16/10
Posts: 882
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: DrGreenThumb865] * 1
    #14543066 - 05/31/11 10:13 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I have quite a few, but this one is short and I can remember most of it. 

Some friends and I were sitting around, just finished smoking a few bowls. For some reason my hearing is shit when I baked...anyway, we started talking about what it would take to die by smoking weed.  Well apparently what was mentioned was "weak immune system" but all I heard was "weed commune system". After I realized what was actually said I started laughing because they sound exactly the same when you say them.  Everyone just looked at me like I was an idiot, so I started repeating them both over and over to make my point.  When I finally decided to give up and was like "whatevs, you guys suck!"  this Cartman figurine thing that I had hanging from my light fixture (I have this aunt that thinks if she catches me watching a show, I must love the fuck out of it...hence the Cartman thingy.  I also superglued a head dress made with purple feathers to his head) anyway Cartman just fell, for no reason, right into my buddies crotch...who was the one being unnecessarily mean.  While he sat in my papasan chair cradling his balls, we all laughed until we cried.


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OfflineShroom_i
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: DrGreenThumb865] * 2
    #14543230 - 05/31/11 10:49 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Walked 5 miles to the nearest store to get dinner since the power was out. Get an 1/8th of a mile away and some crazy bitch pulls up asking where the state police barricks are. We give her directions, and she offers us a ride.

Theres 4 of us so we decide we could overpower her if need be and hop in.. through the windows... jank.

Anyway, she takes us there, and right before we go in, she asks us if we smoke. Of course.

So she gives us a little baggy for helpin her out.

We're sitting in the parking lot resting, smokin on some blacks, and we see this truck whippp across and stop near us. We figure she needs help again, get up and proceed to walk towards the car.

This is when the Gieco caveman jumps out, which at the time we thought was Jesus, throws his hands up and starts swinging.. at the ground...

So we circle him, making sure he doesn't have a blade, when she screams at him to stop, and tells him we were the ones that "helped her find his sorry ass."

So he stops, we make peace, and he tells us that he thought we were his cousin, and friends, who fucked his "old lady" or some shit.

So we bullshit for a minute, trying to get away from this dirty, awkward man, and the manager comes out screaming about how she called the cops.

We try to talk and she flips, so we start walking away, and they cut us off at the exit screaming at us to get in, they'll give us a ride.


..We do. :facepalm:

We ppoint them in the general direction of where we told them "home" was. (There was no way these fucks were seeing our house) and they start throwing liquor bottles out the windows.

So we almost crash 3 or 4 times because this dumb bitch is turned around in her seat talking to us for a minute at a time, and they start tellin us they can get whatever we need.

Hard, soft, tar, you name it.

Then they ask us if we want to ride to Philly with them to pick up a couple bricks of heroine.

We tell them we'd rather not, get out of the truck, and begin to walk to our real house.

We get ready to pack a victory bowl for surviving.

The bud fell out of my friends pocket when he jumped in the truck.

FUCK.


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Prisoner#1 said:
[quote]destructo_low said:
Prisoner's posts by percentage.

Smart and witty - 9.9999922409044%

Kind and caring - 0.0000077590956%
[/quote]

worthy of a facepalm - 90%[/quote]

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OfflineShroom_i
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: DrGreenThumb865]
    #14543326 - 05/31/11 11:06 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DrGreenThumb865 said:
LOL bet you all were like :shock: Better make a U-turn. :snoop:





I just stared at snoop for like 2 minutes while he kept turning to look at me.

thank you.


--------------------
Prisoner#1 said:
[quote]destructo_low said:
Prisoner's posts by percentage.

Smart and witty - 9.9999922409044%

Kind and caring - 0.0000077590956%
[/quote]

worthy of a facepalm - 90%[/quote]

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Invisibleifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO Flag
Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: Shroom_i]
    #14543390 - 05/31/11 11:20 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Just think if you woulda gone and gotten that heroin.
An even crazier story! :lol:

Funny shit though.


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OfflineMuddinPede
Stranger
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Registered: 04/07/09
Posts: 283
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: ifoundwaldo]
    #14544019 - 06/01/11 01:50 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

420  before last, on my way to the disc golf course.

Hmmm.... I need some Whopper J's before I go. I get to the counter, and order 4 with no onions. The cashier then proceeds to tell me I am at Taco Bell. Soft tacos it is.

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OfflineAnthony917
why dont we do it in the road
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Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 3,243
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Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: Shroom_i]
    #14544027 - 06/01/11 01:52 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

hahah dude thats a crazy story...
lol i dont usually get in cars w/ strangers


--------------------
Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...

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OfflineDrGreenThumb865
Dude, who's got the lighter?
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: Shroom_i]
    #14545114 - 06/01/11 10:29 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shroom_i said:
This is when the Gieco caveman jumps out, which at the time we thought was Jesus, throws his hands up and starts swinging.. at the ground...





:rotfl: :lmafo: :rofl: :bow2: :bow2: :bow2:
Still laughing over this!!!


--------------------
:mushdance:



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Offlinehippielauren
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Registered: 05/09/10
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: DrGreenThumb865]
    #14545193 - 06/01/11 10:55 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

:bonghit:Heres a good one.
One time me and my brothers and sister had just got through gettin stoned so my little brother decides it would be funny to put on his fat suit and run around the arpartment complex screaming STAY AWAY.....
He puts on his ski suit and stuffs it full of pillows like on jack ass and does that. People come out of their houses looking all weird and scared. My older brother and i are rolling with laughter and my younger sis is just shaking her head saying "im way too high for this shit"
My brother comes back covered in dirt and i ask him what happened and some guy had let his dog after him. We laughed so hard for like 20 minutes. Never forget that:smilingpuppy:


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InvisibleshLong
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Registered: 03/04/10
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Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: hippielauren]
    #14545638 - 06/01/11 01:01 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Got really baked, went to the grocery store...

Had to take a piss. I pull up, whip out my shlong and start pissing. Right as I start peeing I hear the door crack open and hear the increase in the ambient noise of the store. I hear two women talking outside the door and "realize" IM IN THE FUCKING WOMAN'S BATHROOM! So I start really pushing the pee out, in a frantic fucking hurry. Get done, zip up and realize I've been pissing in a urinal the entire time:facepalm:

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OfflineDrGreenThumb865
Dude, who's got the lighter?
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: shLong]
    #14545649 - 06/01/11 01:04 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

shLong said:
Got really baked, went to the grocery store...

Had to take a piss. I pull up, whip out my shlong and start pissing. Right as I start peeing I hear the door crack open and hear the increase in the ambient noise of the store. I hear two women talking outside the door and "realize" IM IN THE FUCKING WOMAN'S BATHROOM! So I start really pushing the pee out, in a frantic fucking hurry. Get done, zip up and realize I've been pissing in a urinal the entire time:facepalm:



Dude what was a urinal doing in the woman's bathroom?
:lolwut:

EDIT: Damn I get it now..... That was a stoner moment on my part as well. :facepalm:


--------------------
:mushdance:



Edited by DrGreenThumb865 (06/01/11 01:06 PM)

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InvisibleshLong
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Registered: 03/04/10
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: DrGreenThumb865]
    #14545656 - 06/01/11 01:06 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

(It wasn't the woman's bathroom...lol, the answer was right there in front of me)

Notice the "realize"...I was high, forgive a guy already

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OfflinePoopSoap
Genetically Modified Organism

Registered: 01/24/09
Posts: 603
Last seen: 9 years, 2 days
Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: shLong]
    #14545688 - 06/01/11 01:15 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

while driving home extremely high after eating 2 weed brownies, I stopped at a stop sign and after sitting there for like a minute my friend yells "what the hell are you doing?" I was waiting for it to turn green :lol:

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InvisibleshLong
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: DrGreenThumb865] * 1
    #14545690 - 06/01/11 01:16 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DrGreenThumb865 said:

EDIT: Damn I get it now..... That was a stoner moment on my part as well. :facepalm:



quite the paradox, a stoner moment in a stoner moment thread, well done :awethumb:

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Offlineinsipidtoast
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Registered: 01/17/06
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: PoopSoap]
    #14551986 - 06/02/11 05:42 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

PoopSoap said:
while driving home extremely high after eating 2 weed brownies, I stopped at a stop sign and after sitting there for like a minute my friend yells "what the hell are you doing?" I was waiting for it to turn green :lol:



I'm pretty sure I've done the exact same thing a few years back.

Oh wow that reminds me. I think I've only actually had this happen once. I was driving the back roads to my friends house. We pull up to a stoplight. Stop. Wait. And then the light changes and we realized it just turned red.  :facepalm3:

Also, I can't count how many times I've come to a screeching halt because of friends screaming about a red light that I was about to miss.

Edited by insipidtoast (06/02/11 05:43 PM)

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Offlinelimestoneman
The Return
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Registered: 04/09/11
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: insipidtoast]
    #14552044 - 06/02/11 05:56 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I guess I'll tell the story of how I got the username "Limestoneman".
One night I was invited over to a friends house and I just started smoking weed and he dared me to drink bong water, but he said he would have me drink it cold. So we smoke out of his girlfriend's new bong and get baked as a cookie, and he pours the bong water into a glass mug and puts it into the freezer with a beer and says "when my beer is frosty you drink." So when it got cold we took it out and I started drinking it, and it didn't taste bad at all aside from the nasty sulfur taste in his tap water. I choked on it on the first gulp because my throat was so dry and it was so flavorful that I almost puked. I belted out "IT TASTES LIKE LIMESTONE, MAAAAN" and drank the rest of it. What I was trying to convey was that the taste reminded me of the smell of the limestone that lined the ground of my backyard at my old house. I just thought it was kind of catchy and started using it as a username on forums.
If his tap water didn't taste like rotten eggs to begin with, it would have been delicious.

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OfflinePNW FunGal
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: limestoneman] * 1
    #14553644 - 06/02/11 11:55 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

a couple

first my wedding: so after the ceremony me and my new husband had rolled up these fat cone joints for after it was official. so we are walking around saying hello to the families and shit smoking these fat joints not giving a shit cuz it is my wedding and i will smoke weed if i want!! but anyhow i go say hi to my grandpa, he sees my joint and says " oh hey is that a bob marley you got there? can i hit that" i was all  :awebigvaped:
family time is alot more fun now

secondly me and the new husband are laying around smoking of course and watching its always sunny in philly. so it the episode where danny devito at one point refers to himself as "mantis"
me: mantis is an awesome name,that would be a good kids name huh?
hoosband: no. no, its not, thats a really stupid name.
me: oh yeah huh,that would be fucked up
both laughing for ever!


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[url=https://files.shroomery.org/files/11-17/385464067-cb009a6f.jpg]

[/url]

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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: DrGreenThumb865]
    #14554162 - 06/03/11 03:18 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

A straight friend of mine (and he really was straight) introduced me to all sorts of group weed smoking methods and one was even more gay (as in homosexual innuendo) as the next. Its years ago so I dont remember exactly what but holy crap man, it stopped just shy of using each others mouth as a bong cavity :lol:

I was laughing my ass off on the inside but didnt tell him but oh my God it was so GAY.

I'm gay so I can judge that. I thought several times "dude, if you're straight you REALLY only should do this with girls!"

It was hilarious! He had no idea!


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here

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OfflineDrGreenThumb865
Dude, who's got the lighter?
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: Asante]
    #14555411 - 06/03/11 12:25 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:
A straight friend of mine (and he really was straight) introduced me to all sorts of group weed smoking methods and one was even more gay (as in homosexual innuendo) as the next. Its years ago so I dont remember exactly what but holy crap man, it stopped just shy of using each others mouth as a bong cavity :lol:

I was laughing my ass off on the inside but didnt tell him but oh my God it was so GAY.

I'm gay so I can judge that. I thought several times "dude, if you're straight you REALLY only should do this with girls!"

It was hilarious! He had no idea!



LOL dude that reminds me of the first time someone gave me a shotgun, they put the blunt in their mouth backwards and told me to get my mouth as close as i could to theirs and I was like...
:shock: "Whoa dude hold on... what!" My hesitation caused them to burn their tongue.

Good times, good times :vaped:


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:mushdance:



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InvisibleAsante
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Registered: 02/06/02
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Re: Funniest Stoner Moment [Re: DrGreenThumb865]
    #14555432 - 06/03/11 12:30 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Yes that was one of the things. Shotgun you said :lol:

Thats gay as can be, really. I felt I was taking advantage of his naive stonedness :rotfl:


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here

Edited by Asante (06/03/11 12:31 PM)

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