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Offlineinsipidtoast
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Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience
    #14531049 - 05/29/11 04:33 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Let's get disgusting! This thread is not for the squeemish.

My worst was a barfing experience. I was on a middle school backpacking trip. My tent mate had prepared some instant beef stroganoff for dinner. It didn't sit well with me, so in the middle of the night I woke up with an intense urge to vomit. In the darkness, I frantically reached for the zipper of the door, but it was too late, I was already starting to erupt. I finally found the zipper, but by this time it was too late. I tried my best to contain what amount of throwup my stomach had already decided to expell within my mouth, but there was still some vomit dripping down my face and onto my fleece jaket, my sleeping bag and the inside of the tent.

When I finally opened the door to the tent I released the contents of my mouth and a few more surges came welling from within. I also managed to get some vomit on the ground tarp and on the outside of the tent. It was my friends tent, so he was very pissed. All in all, a very embarassing experience for me the next day.

Also at the same campsite. The next day, our teacher sat everyone down before we broke camp and described how he had stepped in some fresh human poop early that morning.


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InvisibleGotlib
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: insipidtoast]
    #14531077 - 05/29/11 04:40 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

I ate a Burger King last night I had the angry chicken whopper with the Jalapeño peppers and the hot sauce. I woke up this morning farting then the urge to go shit, I ran to the toilet sat down and pooped maybe 5 pounds of hot sludgy pudding.
The funny thing is it smelled exactly like the burger I ate hot sauce and all!!!


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InvisibleKillerPicklez
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: Gotlib]
    #14531222 - 05/29/11 05:15 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Several months ago I went camping with my buddy up in the mountains. The purpose of this trip was to eat some mushies and have a bonding experience with nature.

First night we decided just to stay sober. Now I usually am very strict about fasting the day before a mushroom trip but I had some sloppy joe mix that I was just starving to make. So I slammed 3-4 massive sloppy joes and some chips.

Day 2, we decided to dose right in the afternoon while the sun was up. I spent the entire day walking from my tent into the woods to take a shit. Had the shits for what seemed like the entire mushroom trip. Luckily I found a dead tree that made the perfect makeshift shitter. Still was very uncomfortable having to walk into the middle of the woods where no one could see you every 5-10 minutes.

Lesson learned. Stick to fasting when tripping, especially if you are in the middle of the woods.


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InvisibleMicawber
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: KillerPicklez]
    #14531316 - 05/29/11 05:39 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

during my basic training i was taking a shit above a cat-hole
used by about 15 people that week

my ass was a 6 inches from the hole .......
you know that rule where youre not supposed to look in
the hole?
well i fucked up and did:facepalm:
in that hole was the most horrible moving-writhing mix of
-shit
-maggots
-cockroaches
and
-wolf spiders..oh yes...lovely

after that day i was pretty much taking shits standing up
for a while


--------------------
(mik-kaw'-bur) n. one who is poor but lives in optimistic expectation of better fortune:nyan:


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InvisibleKillerPicklez
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: Micawber]
    #14531324 - 05/29/11 05:41 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

:ilold:

that's fucking sick. I dont blame you for standing up after that


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Offlineinsipidtoast
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: Gotlib]
    #14531346 - 05/29/11 05:47 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Butt-Head said:
I ate a Burger King last night I had the angry chicken whopper with the Jalapeño peppers and the hot sauce. I woke up this morning farting then the urge to go shit, I ran to the toilet sat down and pooped maybe 5 pounds of hot sludgy pudding.
The funny thing is it smelled exactly like the burger I ate hot sauce and all!!!




I can't believe people actually eat that kind of food!


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InvisibleGotlib
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: insipidtoast]
    #14532439 - 05/29/11 09:11 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

insipidtoast said:
Quote:

Butt-Head said:
I ate a Burger King last night I had the angry chicken whopper with the Jalapeño peppers and the hot sauce. I woke up this morning farting then the urge to go shit, I ran to the toilet sat down and pooped maybe 5 pounds of hot sludgy pudding.
The funny thing is it smelled exactly like the burger I ate hot sauce and all!!!




I can't believe people actually eat that kind of food!



Neither can I, but you know when your drunk and starving it's 2am and the only joint open id BK you don't really have a choice !!!


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Offlinecanid
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: insipidtoast]
    #14636807 - 06/19/11 10:34 AM (9 years, 10 months ago)

my worst was getting giardiasis, 170' in a redwood. bad enough for me to leave humboldt, hitch home and loose about 30lb by the time i got over it.

i will tell you; a 5gal bucket it not toilet enough for that scenario.


--------------------



Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.


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InvisibleAliceDee
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: canid]
    #14751093 - 07/11/11 02:31 PM (9 years, 9 months ago)

my first time rafting the grand canyon I went to take a shit in the community shitter box...  it was morning time and I have just woke up with only water in my stomache...  At this point this was also the second day I was holding it because I was afraid of this shitter box and I basically prairie dogging it and realized there was no way I could last the whole trip without going so I mustered up some courage and headed over while everyone was eating breakfast...

As mentioned above your not supposed to look but what do I do? Look directly in there...  Now Im wiping the seat off with antibacterial wipes and suddenly catch the biggest wiff of what was inside the box and I immediately start vomitting and then dry heaving...  Then after im done throwing up i managed to take a huge dump haha... That is the only downside to canyoneering, you can pee in the river all you want but poo gets packed out  :puke:


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Offlineinsipidtoast
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: AliceDee]
    #14752275 - 07/11/11 06:21 PM (9 years, 9 months ago)

Oh man... That's terrible. You had to use one of those community shitter boxes. I'd rather just dig a whole somewhere since I'm always worried about some sort of spider or giant centipede or wasp flying up from the dark smelly depths while I'm doing my business.

Please just hand me a trowel, some TP and a baggie of native plant seeds.


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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: insipidtoast]
    #14752477 - 07/11/11 07:01 PM (9 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

insipidtoast said:
Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience




Well... it wasn't exactly MY experience, and it wasn't quite "wilderness".

When I was a Boy Scout (many many moons age) we went on a Jamboree. For those who don't know, a Jamboree is when different troops gather together for a several day camping experience.

We tipped over a very full outhouse, while the outhouse was in use. This alone would have been bad enough, but we tipped it onto the side that had the door, trapping the poor fellow inside.

To cover our tracks, we started shouting at, and pretending to chase, the "perps".

We did eventually go back and free the guy inside.

Decency prevents me from further describing his condition.


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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Offlineastroblack
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #14759280 - 07/12/11 10:42 PM (9 years, 9 months ago)

I was put in a wilderness therapy program when I was 14. Basically you had to complete 9 phases from a binder and a create a certain number of fires (the main method was bowdrill) to be eligible to leave.
We also got containers full of honey for creating x amount of fires, but most of us would drink/eat our honey straight as soon as we got them.
One day while we were hiking, I had to shit really bad, so I yell at the staff I have to go, tear my pack off, grab my container of honey and take off disappearing for about an hour, squatting over a hole I quickly dug with Winnie the Pooh diarrhea and all the while, still consuming that sweet sweet honey.

Another was the night of the shindig, they fed us peach cobbler. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick to my stomach and took off into the woods puking while I was running.


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InvisiblewildernessjunkieM
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: astroblack]
    #14764120 - 07/13/11 08:34 PM (9 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

astroblack said:
I was put in a wilderness therapy program when I was 14. Basically you had to complete 9 phases from a binder and a create a certain number of fires (the main method was bowdrill) to be eligible to leave.
We also got containers full of honey for creating x amount of fires, but most of us would drink/eat our honey straight as soon as we got them.
One day while we were hiking, I had to shit really bad, so I yell at the staff I have to go, tear my pack off, grab my container of honey and take off disappearing for about an hour, squatting over a hole I quickly dug with Winnie the Pooh diarrhea and all the while, still consuming that sweet sweet honey.

Another was the night of the shindig, they fed us peach cobbler. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick to my stomach and took off into the woods puking while I was running.




Ahhhh....wilderness therapy.....shindig's.....brings back great memories.

My story involves someone else. Straight out of High School I went to work for a hunting outfitter. I was a "Camp Jack", basically my job was to tie up all the lose ends and keep camp running smoothly. Well I had constructed this big tripod out of some decent size pole timbers with a tarp wrapped around it. Then I managed to rig a toilet seat to the thing and dug a decent size hole in the ground. Pretty marvelous engineering if I could brag.

We had a guy come in named "Big John" from Texas. Pretty big guy, loud, obnoxious, everything you might expect from a Texan. He was also a pain in everyones ass. So the unwritten rule in camp, is to never complain about the cooking, especially if you didnt cook it. And if you watch most guides/wilderness professionals, they dont eat until the cook takes the first bite. Well Big John had been bitching about the cooking for about 4 days when the cook finally had enough. That night the cook wasnt hungry, in turn no one else in camp was either :wink:

Later that night I hear a loud crack, and then some repeated yells for help. Big John had gotten the squirts, and made the midnight run to the tripod. As he sat down, the seat busted and in he went. Shit EVERYWHERE. Guess who's job it was to go help dude get out of the hole.....FML.


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InvisibleShroomeup
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: wildernessjunkie]
    #14764813 - 07/13/11 10:59 PM (9 years, 9 months ago)

I once copped a leech on my asshole after backing up against a tree to take a dump. Cause I couldnt get anyone to burn it off for me I ended up just ripping it off which in turn led to quite a lot of bleeding and blood stained jocks.


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InvisibleTomandjerry58
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: Shroomeup]
    #14765063 - 07/13/11 11:44 PM (9 years, 9 months ago)

Cousin told me a story the other day.

Checking on some plants he had going in the woods...... Being out there for awhile he gets the shits and starts going behind a tree. Then goes for some leaves growing on the ground to wipe. Two days later he has the worst poison ivy rash on his ass and dick imaginable. Doesn't tell his girlfriend and gives it to her too.

She thinks it stds and makes them both get checked out and bitches at him the whole time because she thinks hes been cheating.:shitstorm:


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Invisibleopenmind
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: Tomandjerry58]
    #14769349 - 07/14/11 09:29 PM (9 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

preschooler said:
Cousin told me a story the other day.

Checking on some plants he had going in the woods...... Being out there for awhile he gets the shits and starts going behind a tree. Then goes for some leaves growing on the ground to wipe. Two days later he has the worst poison ivy rash on his ass and dick imaginable. Doesn't tell his girlfriend and gives it to her too.

She thinks it stds and makes them both get checked out and bitches at him the whole time because she thinks hes been cheating.:shitstorm:






Poison oak/ivy doesn't spread like that :rolleyes:. Unless he had sex with her shortly after he got the rash and before he washed the area.



The rash itself from poison ivy and poison oak is not contagious and will not spread to others, even the fluid that seeps from the blisters will not spread the rash. What spreads it is when people do not wash the area that came into contact with the plant, urushiol (The itchy rash inducing chemical in poison ivy) is an oily substance and needs to be washed off or else the rash will continue to spread.



But otherwise, no you can not spread the rash simply by coming into contact with it, you have to come into contact with the urushiol.




But man, that's gotta be a horrible thing to go through :crazy: . I can't even imagine having to go through that.




:shineon:

.


--------------------


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Offlinesasquatch
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: openmind]
    #14770653 - 07/15/11 02:34 AM (9 years, 9 months ago)

Last Friday night me and two other guys head to the woods for some awesome hiking and drunkenness! Well we get camp setup and we are starting to drink and a fifth of jager 12 shots of vodka and half a bottle of whiskey later I start feeling BAD lol so I go lay down in the tent with the door open and it hits me!! I jump out of the tent (which in hiensight just made it worse) and I got super dizzy and collapsed face down in the dirt puking! I puked all of my stomach contennts and finally get ok again and stand up to get in my hammock and I slip in puke slinging it all over myself and my buddy!! It was terrible!!


--------------------
BE EASY

In 1965, Leary commented that he "learned more about his brain and its possibilities and more about psychology in the five hours after taking these mushrooms than he had in the preceding fifteen years of studying and doing research in psychology."

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Offlinecanid
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: astroblack]
    #14771482 - 07/15/11 10:46 AM (9 years, 9 months ago)

Wilderness therapy? Was it all like band of the hand? It was, wasn't it?


--------------------



Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.


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Offlineeastcoastremedy
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Re: Describe your worst wilderness pooping and /or barfing experience [Re: canid]
    #14788788 - 07/18/11 10:01 PM (9 years, 9 months ago)

Yesterday, descending mountaineer's route on whitney- barfing up every drop of water I drank. I would clutch a precious boulder and just ralph wherever I could. fucking altitude sickness to the max. it sux.


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