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Sophistic Radiance
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Registered: 07/11/06
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Loc: Center of the Universe
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wanting to please everybody 1
#14515745 - 05/26/11 02:45 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Does anybody else suffer from this particular neurosis? It fucking tortures me. Unless I'm disrespected in the first place I feel like I owe it to everyone I meet to respect their viewpoints and to be compassionate and considerate of their needs and feelings. I feel bloody terrible if I neglect any of these things and always go out of my way to accommodate others, all the time. I think I got it from my mom.
It's a fucking double-bind because I know intellectually that sometimes it would be best for me to say fuck everybody else and just look after myself, but it's so hard. It makes me feel guilty.
Just felt like getting that off my chest. It's been a fucking rough week.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
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you please me Tchan
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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,893
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I know what you mean man. I want so badly to be the good guy, but it gets pretty hard juggling other peoples convictions.
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F0SS1L
Prehistoric Cyborg


Registered: 08/29/04
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The worst part is after you've already established yourself as that type of person, people think you're being a HUGE ASSHOLE any time you say no to them.
-------------------- That's me on the street with a violin under my chin. Playing with a grin, singing gibberish.
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
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Re: wanting to please everybody [Re: F0SS1L]
#14515785 - 05/26/11 02:53 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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i do try to be nice to everyone. but i also like to voice my own opinion on things at the same time. i always respect opinions that differ from mine as well and hope that mine are also respected in return. i think diverse opinions are good for a community different perspectives are interesting and sometimes eye opening.
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Beanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX


Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 17,257
Loc: Geospatial inversion.
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Quote:
Tchan909 said: Does anybody else suffer from this particular neurosis? It fucking tortures me. Unless I'm disrespected in the first place I feel like I owe it to everyone I meet to respect their viewpoints and to be compassionate and considerate of their needs and feelings. I feel bloody terrible if I neglect any of these things and always go out of my way to accommodate others, all the time. I think I got it from my mom.
It's a fucking double-bind because I know intellectually that sometimes it would be best for me to say fuck everybody else and just look after myself, but it's so hard. It makes me feel guilty.
Just felt like getting that off my chest. It's been a fucking rough week.
Sometimes even going as far as hurting oneself to please others.
Yes, I have the same "problem" . At times it gets frustrating but I just learned ASAP that you should never expect these things back and just enjoy the fact that you're improving someone elses life (without them knowing/acknowledging.
Both emotionally and physically draining really but it makes me 
I can never be angry at people either
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



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Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
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Re: wanting to please everybody [Re: F0SS1L]
#14515796 - 05/26/11 02:55 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
F0SS1L said: The worst part is after you've already established yourself as that type of person, people think you're being a HUGE ASSHOLE any time you say no to them.
i do see this happen quite a bit
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!


Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
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Re: wanting to please everybody [Re: Mello Kitty]
#14515812 - 05/26/11 02:57 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'm always going around worrying that I let people down, even if I barely know those people and owe them nothing. Like earlier today I was seriously biting my nails worried that I let my teacher down emotionally by not turning in an assignment. Like WTF? That's not her problem, it's MY problem.
I agree about different opinions though, I think it's just good policy to try and understand opinions that are different from your own. Understanding is always more interesting than bashing, and I'll come right out and say always better, not a neurosis like the subject of this thread. 
No matter how crazy people might sound sound at first impression, there's almost always a good reason for them to believe the things they believe.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Sophistic Radiance
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Re: wanting to please everybody [Re: Beanhead]
#14515822 - 05/26/11 02:58 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I know what you mean, I always try to find common ground with people I've made enemies with. I've found that some of your best friends can be made from people who used to hate your guts. It makes for a very honest friendship, once common ground has been established.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Sophistic Radiance
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Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
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Re: wanting to please everybody [Re: Mello Kitty]
#14515835 - 05/26/11 03:00 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
ellenallien said:
Quote:
F0SS1L said: The worst part is after you've already established yourself as that type of person, people think you're being a HUGE ASSHOLE any time you say no to them.
i do see this happen quite a bit
I don't think this has ever happened to me, but it's also possible that it has and I just didn't notice it
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
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you are a good person Tchan thats all it is i always thought that from the 1st time we talked. there needs to be more people like you
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Sophistic Radiance
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Re: wanting to please everybody [Re: Mello Kitty]
#14515847 - 05/26/11 03:02 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Aww thanks Ellen It means a lot to me.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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LloydChristmas
getting lost on purpose



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I don't have this problem, but have personally been affected by it. It really can be destructive. I had a family member that would put all others before himself, and that led to pretty much a total breakdown.
You should really stand up for yourself and not let people walk all over you or take advantage of you.
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Samuel L Jackson
Bad Motherfucker


Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 8,395
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take a couple of xanax. you will stop giving a fuck what other people think really quickly.
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
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Quote:
SamuelLJackson said: take a couple of xanax. you will stop giving a fuck what other people think really quickly.
especially if mixed with alchohol
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unam sanctum



Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 6,702
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Not everyone, but quite a few people notice when someone is being nice or helpful for no gain of their own. Even if the person you're trying to please doesn't see it, you never know who else is watching and how you're making an impact on them. It's happened to me before, like if I'm have a bad day and I see someone being sincerely kind or generous it really makes me re-evaluate my outlook .
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Sophistic Radiance
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Registered: 07/11/06
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Re: wanting to please everybody [Re: Mello Kitty]
#14515875 - 05/26/11 03:08 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I actually could REALLY USE some xanax right now. I've been so fucking wound-up about school that I just can't sleep, like at all.
I used to be such a massive fuckup at school, and it bothered me so badly that I've overcompensated, and now I'm giving myself absolute balls-hell trying to be perfect. My mom came by today and I started telling her about my day and then just started bawling uncontrollably, because I didn't get an assignment turned in on time. It's ridiculous.
I thought I was going to take summer classes but I've decided that I need for a few months is some rest, relaxation, camping and hiking. God knows I fucking need it.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
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I used to be like that, but I learned it's an impossible task and some will try to take advantage of you. It's hard to learn to say no when you're like that that, but it can be done and it's get easier to do.
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FlusH
Random person on Internet


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Re: wanting to please everybody [Re: F0SS1L]
#14515997 - 05/26/11 03:36 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
F0SS1L said: The worst part is after you've already established yourself as that type of person, people think you're being a HUGE ASSHOLE any time you say no to them.
Hahaha this is totally true. Especially if you know how to "fix" computers. Man, I can relate with ya OP. It gets easier over time to tell people to fuck off
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Mind Transcribing
Candy Baron



Registered: 11/08/09
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Quote:
Tchan909 said: I actually could REALLY USE some xanax right now. I've been so fucking wound-up about school that I just can't sleep, like at all.
I used to be such a massive fuckup at school, and it bothered me so badly that I've overcompensated, and now I'm giving myself absolute balls-hell trying to be perfect. My mom came by today and I started telling her about my day and then just started bawling uncontrollably, because I didn't get an assignment turned in on time. It's ridiculous.
I thought I was going to take summer classes but I've decided that I need for a few months is some rest, relaxation, camping and hiking. God knows I fucking need it.
Ahh man I know how the overwhelming stress feels.  I've been out of college for a good amount of weeks now, and it's so relieving to feel that stress lifted. I decided not to take summer courses as well, I'm just too burnt out. Before the end of semester I was pretty hysteric and that's not exaggerated in any way.
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