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Anonymous #1

Lost in love
    #14513637 - 05/26/11 03:39 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Hello,
Im with a girl since 8 years now. You know how it is, at the beginning it was a perfect dream. With years its becomes so common that you loose that love fire but hey, i still appreciate her and never asked myself any question about our future.
2 years ago i took a work opportunity 250km from home, living alone in my cosy flat during weeks. While coming back from Paris by train i meet a wonderful, nice and cute Chinese girl studying in my "week" city. We talked a bit of football and i dated her for a match in the evening(she was reading a football newspaper cause thats not usually the subject i choose to talk a girl lol).
We drank a LOT, i was so surprised a so cute little girl can drink so much ! And then i let you imagine the rest of the night, wonderful.

The next day i was so confused, sharing guilty feeling and love for that girl. I couldn't resist and we continued to date for 1,5 years.
The Chinese girl knew i had a "regular" girl in an other town. I took advices from my friends who told me to dont tell the story to my regular girl. Biggest mistake i think, but hey, thats an other story.

I completely fall in love with the Chinese and after 1 year revealed the whole story to my regular. As soon as i did it, the Chinese asked me for the wedding ! Im not a guy for that and refused during 6 months.
During the last summer she told me she had to go in China for some holidays. 3 Days later she phoned me to announce she will finally never come back ! Sad, Sad, Sad... 3 weeks later an other phone call from her "im coming tomorrow in France, may i stay at your home for some days ?". Woot, hesitating i finally accepted.

We had maybe our 3 better sex days in our entire life. She again told me she wanted to stay with me for the whole life BUT only if i mary her, i refused telling her that we could be in love and build a family without a wedding. She became nervous against me and told that if i refused, an other guy was waiting for her in China. Pressure of her family was so big to mary her that she was afraid to stay in France without an "official family". She called a taxi and told me "adieu".
I had some hard months to try to forget that story moreover cause we were both in love. All was so great with her, we liked the same music, same parties, same way of sex...

The sex part lol. She always wanted more and more and appreciated a lot public places as i do :laugh:. She even asked to blow me in the Eiffel Tower park, which i accepted. We had a rough great sex just in front of the Mont Saint Michel in the sunset. I wont tell all the sex story, it would be too long :laugh:

3 days ago, i received a phone call in the middle of the night. Guess who it was...She still want to live with me in France but announced me she was pregnant since 6 months now (not from me !) and was sad of her Chinese life. She must take care of her parent's boyfriend, and do all the machist things in a house. Shes a clever girl, very open minded with a nice political vision (which is sometimes a totally absent way to think for some Chinese). Absolutely not a girl to stay at home, she could have a brilliant professional career.
She wants me, she wants to come back in France, fully pregnant to live with me... I refused again thinking that future baby should be allowed to know his father and all sort of things. But i feel so sad for her, thats broking my mind, i have troubles to work and loose the need to party with my friends. Im totally lost. I think i lost her cause i simply refused to mary her, should i did ?

I know my English is pretty bad and that big text will be hard to read, but i had to write this. Maybe that helps !


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Invisiblebonnahoo
A Friend
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 371
Re: Lost in love [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14513713 - 05/26/11 04:36 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Elle a peur de vivre une vie sans qqn qui prendra soin d'eux. Elle vient à toi car vous avez partagé des bonnes experiences ensemble et elle sait que tu l'aimes. T'as raison de refuser de l'épouser. Si tu n'est pas pret, ne le fais pas. C'est ta vie, pas la sienne.
J'ai eu une experience comme la tienne il y a qq semaines, mais mon ex m'a demandé d'emménager avec elle. Je l'ai refusé car je n'etais pas pret, je n'avais pas assez d'argent, mais elle ne comprenait pas. Apres ca, elle m'a jeté dans la poubelle. J'ai pensé qu'elle m'aimait, mais apparemment elle voulait de m'ultiser juste pour ce qu'elle voulait.
Maintenant je suis content avec ma décision. Je ne veux pas une femme comme ça... mais tu dois te poser la meme question.
Si elle vraiment t'aime alors elle n'arretait pas de parler avec toi car t'as refuse de l'epouser a ce moment-la.
voici mon avis.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Lost in love [Re: bonnahoo]
    #14513724 - 05/26/11 04:49 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Woooo, your french is really far better than my english, gratz !

Indeed i had that feeling, did she wanted to use me, i really dont think so but maybe im a naive guy :/
If she wasnt waiting for a baby i could have think of mary her again
, i feel its too late now.
Im affraid to have this feeling for my entire life, i miss her, surely the greatest girl i ever met.
Im a pretty active boy with girl, i mean i date girls near of every week, some very cute ones, but im still lost thinking to the Chinese :s
I feel guilty because without refusing to mary her she probably wouldnt have that shitty life in China now. Time will tell !


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Invisiblebonnahoo
A Friend
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 371
Re: Lost in love [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14513816 - 05/26/11 06:01 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

mdr... merci mec :wink:

Yeah I know it's hard to believe that this girl would ever want to use you, but people are deceptive. I thought I knew my ex really well and I thought she would love me regardless of whether or not I lived with her, but all she really wanted was someone to pay half the rent and give her rides to school and work. As soon as she got a roommate she immediately broke up with me. She no longer needed me and now she treats me like shit... I'm not saying that your girl is like this, but it's very possible.

La chatte tends to rob us men of our ability to think logically when it comes to matters like this. C'est la vie.

I know how you feel, I still miss my ex so much, even though I am dating and fucking other girls right now. I would take her back in a heartbeat even though I know that isn't a good thing to do. It will take time for your heart to heal. All you can do is to help speed up time by keeping your mind occupied on other things. I know it's tough man, but hang in there. Try not to talk to her or look at pictures or anything that reminds you of her, I have found that this only makes things worse and you actually lose progress.

Oh and DO NOT feel bad for saying no to marrying her... do not blame yourself for her shitty life in China. You can't think that way. It will destroy you. If she knows you feel bad for her and guilty she will use that against you and have you by the balls.

Good luck though man, I know you can do it, and know you are not the only one going through this right now :wink:
I hope you can understand my english, it's pretty horrible too even though I'm a native, lol...


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Anonymous #1

Re: Lost in love [Re: bonnahoo]
    #14513968 - 05/26/11 07:07 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Haha, thanks for your appreciated point of view.
No worry i fully understand your english, luckily i read better than i write :wink:

By the way, where did you learn your french ?


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Invisiblebonnahoo
A Friend
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 371
Re: Lost in love [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14514351 - 05/26/11 09:54 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I am a French language major, and studied at L'Universite de Caen Basse-Normandie. My french is no where near as good as it should be, I haven't spoken since I left the university a year ago =(
Going for my masters next spring though :wink:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Lost in love [Re: bonnahoo]
    #14514565 - 05/26/11 10:50 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

bonnahoo said:
I am a French language major, and studied at L'Universite de Caen Basse-Normandie. My french is no where near as good as it should be, I haven't spoken since I left the university a year ago =(
Going for my masters next spring though :wink:




:orly:  Man i actually work in Caen lol !


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Invisiblebonnahoo
A Friend
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 371
Re: Lost in love [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14514573 - 05/26/11 10:53 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

YOU DO!? Wow.... how ironic. What do you do there? I love that city, but then again that is where I met my ex and it brings back a lot of good but painful memories.

I bet le Jardin des Plantes is looking pretty nice right now. LOVE that place.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Lost in love [Re: bonnahoo]
    #14514610 - 05/26/11 10:59 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Nice place indeed but i prefer little Britanny 200 km in south.
I actually waste all my weeks for work there. The company is based in Caen but i move a lot :/
I m not use to go to the Jardin des Plantes but think its still there lol.
Im sure you know the Embuscade ?


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Invisiblebonnahoo
A Friend
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 371
Re: Lost in love [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14514871 - 05/26/11 11:55 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Bien sur je connais l'embuscade! =P

I did many morally questionable things under the influence of embuscade, lol... It's just so damn good though, it's hard to say no.
Damn that little red drink! *shakes fist*

Have you ever been to Nordik Impakt? It's not for everyone, but I enjoyed it a lot.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Lost in love [Re: bonnahoo]
    #14514991 - 05/26/11 12:18 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Lol of course i know Nordik :wink: Thats the music i like.
:pm:


Edited by Anonymous (05/26/11 12:19 PM)


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