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occollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod



Registered: 04/10/11
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Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration?
#14507098 - 05/24/11 09:49 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Hello. I apologize in advance if I write a novel, I tend to write a lot on these forums. I'll try to keep it short as possible.
Back in mid 2008, I was "diagnosed" as bipolar type 2, which is the less severe form. I didn't start taking medication until about march 2010 and have been on them ever since. I have felt more stable than when I was not taking them, but here's the thing: During the last couple of months, I've been weaning myself off of medication. I was on 600mg of seroquel, and I'm now down to 150mg. I've had NO problems with the process. I did notice from 400 to 300mg, I would get a little stressed at work, but I work at papa johns, it gets super busy, and everyone gets a little stressed during high peak times. I can handle it well, nonetheless.
Also, I do admit, from the time I was 18 until about a couple months ago, my state of consciousness was a state of HELL. I HATED life, I hated my circumstances, I was under a lot of stress, I wanted to die, etc. The medication got rid of my mood swings but what I found was that it didn't get rid of the fact that I hated life. I still hated my circumstances and wanted to die. About a couple months ago (a little before I started weaning off of my meds) I became depressed one day. I was thinking about suicide and having lots of suicidal ideation. I got an email from someone who stated that they died for 5 minutes and that I'm "not missing out on anything, don't kill yourself, get professional help and you'll be happier." Well that got me interested in near death experiences and out of body experiences, so I researched peoples' experiences with those. I learned that they all visited one of two places: either a really happy place with lots of love, or a really fearful place with lots of suffering. Basically, what christians would consider "heaven" or "hell." Even reading atheist's experiences, they all visit either a happy place or a fearful place. So then this got me thinking "well if we visit either a happy or fearful place in the afterlife, what's the difference in who experiences which? So then I started a thread called, is death a state of consciousness?, and the very last person to respond stated, "the heaven or hell state you speak of relates to one's personal vibration. raise it high enough and you can experience bliss and heaven, drop it low enough and you experience depression, hell, negativity." I found this to be of MOST INTEREST to me.
Before I go further, let me say that reading about NDE's and OBE's has made me question the after life and that if we really do continue with the afterlife, how lond does it last until we are reborn? I figured that I'd better get used to my life because I've got 70 more years to go until I croak. I learned to accept my circumstances, be happy that I'm getting my life back on track and that I'm back in college after being out for 2.5 years and stuff like that.
So now I'm wondering, since I'm having no trouble weaning off my medication, was I really bipolar or did I just have negative, personal life vibration? I know the meds helped my mood swings, which were real, but what the meds have shown me is how the mentally stable life is. It has shown me that I don't need to get stressed and psychotic over the tiniest little things. It has thought me simple biofeedback things that I can do like paying attention to my breath, slow deep breathing, how to sway racing, repetitive, circular thoughts associated with bipolar disorder, and stuff like that. It has shown me what an edge person and downright ASSHOLE I used to be in regards to my old mood swings.
One last thing: The reason I wanted to wean myself off the meds is because one of the side effects of seroquel is "suicideal ideation." and that's what I think caused my suicidal ideation on a couple occasions. After that day when I realized this, I wanted to go off medication. I also want to go off medication because with everything I've stated in this message, I feel that I need to take a few mushroom trips to gain new perspectives on life and also to figure out some questions and answers about my life. I know seroquel basically prevents people from tripping. Back when I was 21 (the year I was "diagnosed.") I was doing LSD and mushrooms a lot, so I'm pretty experienced with psychedelics. I've also been reading a book called, "Take Me to Truth, Undoing the Ego." I'm really interested in "undoing" my ego, and even gaining ego death in my mushroom entheogenic trips.
So what do you guys think? I know for sure that there are people who live with severe bipolar and NEED meds or else they WILL become psychotic, but for those with mild bipolar like me, or those whose disorder seems to to have been come to terms with, do you think that it's possible people can just have negative life vibration for a period in their lives and just have it "diagnosed" as bipolar? Thanks.
Edited by occollegeboi (05/24/11 10:15 PM)
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14508565 - 05/25/11 06:20 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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you raise an important point but it gets clouded with foggy/soft ideas.
the point is that ideation is not a result of medication, but the psychiatric community is not unified on enough of their own theories to ratify that: this speaks to your issue "Am I really Bi-Polar" because the diagnosis is as weak as the psychiatric college that can stand (loosely) behind the statement that seroquel (may) produce suicidal ideation.
all of that is very soft, but the hard evidence is that the dosage you are working with is helping you cope for the time being.
in a completely different area altogether is the soft domain of NDE's and what they are and if they actually mean anything (my suggestion is that they mean less than dreams or nightmares) - and you can line up psychiatrists on both sides of that fence as well.
I commend you lowering your dose, and I recommend you continuing to think about what ideas are (mental objects) and how they fit into your stream of consciousness (i.e. what is association - linkage?). this can be of help to you and to your life, while the experts know little more than you do, except to prescribe what has helped other people who have been equally stressed out.
--------------------
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14508583 - 05/25/11 06:33 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
occollegeboi said: Hello. I apologize in advance if I write a novel, I tend to write a lot on these forums. I'll try to keep it short as possible.
Back in mid 2008, I was "diagnosed" as bipolar type 2, which is the less severe form. I didn't start taking medication until about march 2010 and have been on them ever since. I have felt more stable than when I was not taking them, but here's the thing: During the last couple of months, I've been weaning myself off of medication. I was on 600mg of seroquel, and I'm now down to 150mg. I've had NO problems with the process. I did notice from 400 to 300mg, I would get a little stressed at work, but I work at papa johns, it gets super busy, and everyone gets a little stressed during high peak times. I can handle it well, nonetheless.
Also, I do admit, from the time I was 18 until about a couple months ago, my state of consciousness was a state of HELL. I HATED life, I hated my circumstances, I was under a lot of stress, I wanted to die, etc. The medication got rid of my mood swings but what I found was that it didn't get rid of the fact that I hated life. I still hated my circumstances and wanted to die. About a couple months ago (a little before I started weaning off of my meds) I became depressed one day. I was thinking about suicide and having lots of suicidal ideation. I got an email from someone who stated that they died for 5 minutes and that I'm "not missing out on anything, don't kill yourself, get professional help and you'll be happier." Well that got me interested in near death experiences and out of body experiences, so I researched peoples' experiences with those. I learned that they all visited one of two places: either a really happy place with lots of love, or a really fearful place with lots of suffering. Basically, what christians would consider "heaven" or "hell." Even reading atheist's experiences, they all visit either a happy place or a fearful place. So then this got me thinking "well if we visit either a happy or fearful place in the afterlife, what's the difference in who experiences which? So then I started a thread called, is death a state of consciousness?, and the very last person to respond stated, "the heaven or hell state you speak of relates to one's personal vibration. raise it high enough and you can experience bliss and heaven, drop it low enough and you experience depression, hell, negativity." I found this to be of MOST INTEREST to me.
Before I go further, let me say that reading about NDE's and OBE's has made me question the after life and that if we really do continue with the afterlife, how lond does it last until we are reborn? I figured that I'd better get used to my life because I've got 70 more years to go until I croak. I learned to accept my circumstances, be happy that I'm getting my life back on track and that I'm back in college after being out for 2.5 years and stuff like that.
So now I'm wondering, since I'm having no trouble weaning off my medication, was I really bipolar or did I just have negative, personal life vibration? I know the meds helped my mood swings, which were real, but what the meds have shown me is how the mentally stable life is. It has shown me that I don't need to get stressed and psychotic over the tiniest little things. It has thought me simple biofeedback things that I can do like paying attention to my breath, slow deep breathing, how to sway racing, repetitive, circular thoughts associated with bipolar disorder, and stuff like that. It has shown me what an edge person and downright ASSHOLE I used to be in regards to my old mood swings.
One last thing: The reason I wanted to wean myself off the meds is because one of the side effects of seroquel is "suicideal ideation." and that's what I think caused my suicidal ideation on a couple occasions. After that day when I realized this, I wanted to go off medication. I also want to go off medication because with everything I've stated in this message, I feel that I need to take a few mushroom trips to gain new perspectives on life and also to figure out some questions and answers about my life. I know seroquel basically prevents people from tripping. Back when I was 21 (the year I was "diagnosed.") I was doing LSD and mushrooms a lot, so I'm pretty experienced with psychedelics. I've also been reading a book called, "Take Me to Truth, Undoing the Ego." I'm really interested in "undoing" my ego, and even gaining ego death in my mushroom entheogenic trips.
So what do you guys think? I know for sure that there are people who live with severe bipolar and NEED meds or else they WILL become psychotic, but for those with mild bipolar like me, or those whose disorder seems to to have been come to terms with, do you think that it's possible people can just have negative life vibration for a period in their lives and just have it "diagnosed" as bipolar? Thanks.
yes my friend that is a lot of words.
let's really cut to the chase here. why do you hate life? ok big one. drop it back a bit. what is one thing you hate about life?
we all make our own heaven or hell. sounds like you are attracted to both as am i. hell is for children. wasn't that a pat benatar song?
anyway my suggestion is that you live life with eyes open and with mind open yet with mind shut. you are super analytical, i used to be like that. it sucked. think simply and relaxed. your deep breathing to combat your anxiety. nice. that was the ONE positive i got from your treatise.
anyway my thoughts for now. oh and fuck all those meds you are right this shit is deeper than some med some quack perscribed. not saying you may not need something but that shit is not good. any of it. course now you are hooked to it so dropping back gradual is good.
eat right sleep right think calm why stress watch the panic at papa johns and enjoy it
dude
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: redgreenvines]
#14508594 - 05/25/11 06:41 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: you raise an important point but it gets clouded with foggy/soft ideas.
the point is that ideation is not a result of medication, but the psychiatric community is not unified on enough of their own theories to ratify that: this speaks to your issue "Am I really Bi-Polar" because the diagnosis is as weak as the psychiatric college that can stand (loosely) behind the statement that seroquel (may) produce suicidal ideation.
all of that is very soft, but the hard evidence is that the dosage you are working with is helping you cope for the time being.
in a completely different area altogether is the soft domain of NDE's and what they are and if they actually mean anything (my suggestion is that they mean less than dreams or nightmares) - and you can line up psychiatrists on both sides of that fence as well.
I commend you lowering your dose, and I recommend you continuing to think about what ideas are (mental objects) and how they fit into your stream of consciousness (i.e. what is association - linkage?). this can be of help to you and to your life, while the experts know little more than you do, except to prescribe what has helped other people who have been equally stressed out.

There is great danger in blindly following "experts" in any field but especially the medical one. IMO there really are no experts out there. Anyone my have a piece or two of a puzzle but that does not mean, no matter what they tell you, that they know what the final picture is. This is why doing your own research and making all the final decisions yourself is so worthwhile. I think this gives one the best chance for success.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14508620 - 05/25/11 06:52 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
redgreenvines said: you raise an important point but it gets clouded with foggy/soft ideas.
the point is that ideation is not a result of medication, but the psychiatric community is not unified on enough of their own theories to ratify that: this speaks to your issue "Am I really Bi-Polar" because the diagnosis is as weak as the psychiatric college that can stand (loosely) behind the statement that seroquel (may) produce suicidal ideation.
all of that is very soft, but the hard evidence is that the dosage you are working with is helping you cope for the time being.
in a completely different area altogether is the soft domain of NDE's and what they are and if they actually mean anything (my suggestion is that they mean less than dreams or nightmares) - and you can line up psychiatrists on both sides of that fence as well.
I commend you lowering your dose, and I recommend you continuing to think about what ideas are (mental objects) and how they fit into your stream of consciousness (i.e. what is association - linkage?). this can be of help to you and to your life, while the experts know little more than you do, except to prescribe what has helped other people who have been equally stressed out.

There is great danger in blindly following "experts" in any field but especially the medical one. IMO there really are no experts out there. Anyone my have a piece or two of a puzzle but that does not mean, no matter what they tell you, that they know what the final picture is. This is why doing your own research and making all the final decisions yourself is so worthwhile. I think this gives one the best chance for success.
Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
redgreenvines said: you raise an important point but it gets clouded with foggy/soft ideas.
the point is that ideation is not a result of medication, but the psychiatric community is not unified on enough of their own theories to ratify that: this speaks to your issue "Am I really Bi-Polar" because the diagnosis is as weak as the psychiatric college that can stand (loosely) behind the statement that seroquel (may) produce suicidal ideation.
all of that is very soft, but the hard evidence is that the dosage you are working with is helping you cope for the time being.
in a completely different area altogether is the soft domain of NDE's and what they are and if they actually mean anything (my suggestion is that they mean less than dreams or nightmares) - and you can line up psychiatrists on both sides of that fence as well.
I commend you lowering your dose, and I recommend you continuing to think about what ideas are (mental objects) and how they fit into your stream of consciousness (i.e. what is association - linkage?). this can be of help to you and to your life, while the experts know little more than you do, except to prescribe what has helped other people who have been equally stressed out.

There is great danger in blindly following "experts" in any field but especially the medical one. IMO there really are no experts out there. Anyone my have a piece or two of a puzzle but that does not mean, no matter what they tell you, that they know what the final picture is. This is why doing your own research and making all the final decisions yourself is so worthwhile. I think this gives one the best chance for success.
Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
redgreenvines said: you raise an important point but it gets clouded with foggy/soft ideas.
the point is that ideation is not a result of medication, but the psychiatric community is not unified on enough of their own theories to ratify that: this speaks to your issue "Am I really Bi-Polar" because the diagnosis is as weak as the psychiatric college that can stand (loosely) behind the statement that seroquel (may) produce suicidal ideation.
all of that is very soft, but the hard evidence is that the dosage you are working with is helping you cope for the time being.
in a completely different area altogether is the soft domain of NDE's and what they are and if they actually mean anything (my suggestion is that they mean less than dreams or nightmares) - and you can line up psychiatrists on both sides of that fence as well.
I commend you lowering your dose, and I recommend you continuing to think about what ideas are (mental objects) and how they fit into your stream of consciousness (i.e. what is association - linkage?). this can be of help to you and to your life, while the experts know little more than you do, except to prescribe what has helped other people who have been equally stressed out.

There is great danger in blindly following "experts" in any field but especially the medical one. IMO there really are no experts out there. Anyone my have a piece or two of a puzzle but that does not mean, no matter what they tell you, that they know what the final picture is. This is why doing your own research and making all the final decisions yourself is so worthwhile. I think this gives one the best chance for success.
Yes, and don't listen to anyone who keeps prattling on about Death Anxiety.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: LunarEclipse] 1
#14508811 - 05/25/11 08:24 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Or those who constantly post music vids that only they would care about.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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mooshroom
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? *DELETED* [Re: Icelander]
#14508861 - 05/25/11 08:41 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Post deleted by mooshroomReason for deletion: ??
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: mooshroom]
#14508888 - 05/25/11 08:51 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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What's that all about? Have you lost track of your home forum?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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mooshroom
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14508896 - 05/25/11 08:54 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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it's what i think i would find interesting if i were in his situation
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: mooshroom]
#14508963 - 05/25/11 09:19 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14509218 - 05/25/11 10:52 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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thanks for the support and "agreeance" (the one thing george bush did of value was to popularize this unusual word) and I do not believe you prattle, obsess perhaps but not prattle.
--------------------
_ 🧠_
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: redgreenvines]
#14509266 - 05/25/11 11:04 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Obsessive? Me? What (death anxiety) ever (death anxiety) do (death anxiety) you (death anxiety) mean?
I'm like a dog on a bone dude. I'm gonna get to the marrow or break all my teeth trying.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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mooshroom
Stranger

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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14509293 - 05/25/11 11:09 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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trying what? i'm new here but i'd be delighted to learn about your obsessions.
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: mooshroom]
#14509468 - 05/25/11 11:46 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Read that post again. There are four hints.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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OrgoneConclusion
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14509507 - 05/25/11 11:55 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Obsessive? Me? What (death anxiety) ever (death anxiety) do (death anxiety) you (death anxiety) mean?
I'm like a dog on a bone dude. I'm gonna get to the marrow or break all my teeth trying.
You still have teeth?
--------------------
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occollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
#14509635 - 05/25/11 12:27 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said: yes my friend that is a lot of words.
let's really cut to the chase here. why do you hate life? ok big one. drop it back a bit. what is one thing you hate about life?
we all make our own heaven or hell. sounds like you are attracted to both as am i. hell is for children. wasn't that a pat benatar song?
anyway my suggestion is that you live life with eyes open and with mind open yet with mind shut. you are super analytical, i used to be like that. it sucked. think simply and relaxed. your deep breathing to combat your anxiety. nice. that was the ONE positive i got from your treatise.
anyway my thoughts for now. oh and fuck all those meds you are right this shit is deeper than some med some quack perscribed. not saying you may not need something but that shit is not good. any of it. course now you are hooked to it so dropping back gradual is good.
eat right sleep right think calm why stress watch the panic at papa johns and enjoy it
dude
1. Reasons I hated life: I got set back by the bad economy of 2008, lost a good job, had to sell my brand new car that I worked hard to get, had to stop going to college. Had to move out of cali to texas where my mom lives. Hated the fact that I have never made enough to $ to move out away from family. Everything else basically stemmed from that. -I realize now that EVERYONE was affected by negative economy. I realize although I was set back, NOW I am back in school, I have a stable (although lame) job and am on track to saving money for a car/school/my future, and I know which university I want to transfer to. Though it sucks living with parents, at least they are here to help. I've just kinda accepted things in my life rather than questioning why they happened.
Recently, with my readings on noetic science & the ego, I now realize that EVERYONE has the power to create their own reality, be it heaven or hell. I know for sure I certainly turned my life into a hell state in my past for sure. Now I am gaining back my life/power and I now choose to live in a peaceful state of reality. Hell states are associated with negative life vibrations.
Yes, I'm super analytical, it sucks. I used to be worse about it. Someone else mentioned that I'm too analytical based on how much I type, that there is a lot of stuff going on in my mind. I've learned in the past to just "lighten up" about things and take things more easily and in stride. I'm still learning how to further think "simply."
All in all, thanks for answering my question guys!! You guys are so much more in touch with spirituality than people in other web sites. I posted this same question in another web site and nobody could get passed the fact that I was going against my doctor's advice in weaning myself off. Again, thanks.
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
#14509737 - 05/25/11 12:45 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said:
Quote:
Icelander said: Obsessive? Me? What (death anxiety) ever (death anxiety) do (death anxiety) you (death anxiety) mean?
I'm like a dog on a bone dude. I'm gonna get to the marrow or break all my teeth trying.
You still have teeth? 
Several
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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xFrockx


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14509753 - 05/25/11 12:48 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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What bone?
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx] 1
#14509876 - 05/25/11 01:20 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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You need to stop taking drugs. You seem to have lost a lot of brain cells over my little break.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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xFrockx


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14509951 - 05/25/11 01:41 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I was thinking the same thing about you.
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occollegeboi
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14509982 - 05/25/11 01:51 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Ladies, ladies, back on topic please.
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xFrockx


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14509989 - 05/25/11 01:52 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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NEGATIVE LIFE VIBRATION.
Sounds like a ska-punk jam band.
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14509996 - 05/25/11 01:54 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: I was thinking the same thing about you.
That's not a very good comeback.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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xFrockx


Registered: 09/17/06
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14510004 - 05/25/11 01:56 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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It's not a comeback, I thought earlier, "Man that must have been one hell of a fishing trip (yuk yuk yuk)"
I figured you finally decided to can it. What a shame.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14510027 - 05/25/11 02:01 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Why do you hate me?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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xFrockx


Registered: 09/17/06
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14510037 - 05/25/11 02:03 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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It was a joke, sheesh, I thought we had enough of a rapport for you to handle my dark humor. I don't hate you at all, I wouldn't say I love you either, but I did feel kinda bummed you died.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14510139 - 05/25/11 02:25 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I was kidding silly one. 
It's amazing how many times that response has put folk here into spasms. It's like after all this time they don't have a clue who I am.
If I actually died you'd know it cause the world would end.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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xFrockx


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14510316 - 05/25/11 03:08 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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"It's like after all this time they don't have a clue who I am."
People change.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14510418 - 05/25/11 03:33 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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You haven't changed a bit.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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xFrockx


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14510460 - 05/25/11 03:39 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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How so?
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14510636 - 05/25/11 04:10 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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How would I know how you manage not to change?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


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Posts: 37,539
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14510691 - 05/25/11 04:23 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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it's good (death) to have you (death) back ice but now this (death) thread is trashed...
to ocollegboi - courage believe it or not all us chickens are getting plucked alive by the recessions except for the really good card players. those pluckers!
--------------------
_ 🧠_
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: redgreenvines]
#14510791 - 05/25/11 04:45 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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what recessions?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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xFrockx


Registered: 09/17/06
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14511178 - 05/25/11 06:03 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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If I don't change, what am I then? What is it that's so permanent?
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InTiMiDaToRdInO
D1N0



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14512957 - 05/25/11 11:54 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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well i dont mean to jack the thread by putting it back on track but well yeah i kinda do mean to...anyway as OP had stated he was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and so was i about a year and a half ago but my life went to shit looooong before that(like 3 years). I have always noticed how strong the mind is and how important it is to be able to control it as much as possible. Like for example I used to injure myself but then i started fighting with myself in my head and over time i was able to ignore the urge but it was extremely exhausting. I got to a point where daily ther was a war in my head between anger at the world and the last bit of sanity trying to hold on. After a few med combos we found one a few months ago that seems to work amazing and i've been doing extremely better but that was also after i had 2 very important ephinanies while DXM trippin(about 2 months apart). Now that im 'normal' i guess idk what to call myself i think i'm extremely happy but to everyone else i dont seem extra happy. My new delemma is that i'm not sure how 'real' my bipolar and my fucked up dark state of mind is and how much of it is just a matter of my own mind......like i find it so interesting that simply a chemical like DXM(im most familiar with) can make your mind change SOOOOO drastically.....so like our thoughts arent really 'thoughts' they are just 'chemicals' then arent they?.....like idk what to believe about myself at the moment
-------------------- IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.:.TRAVEL THE UNIVERSE
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14513759 - 05/26/11 05:16 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: If I don't change, what am I then? What is it that's so permanent?
I have no idea what you are talking about.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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occollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14513898 - 05/26/11 06:41 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Please stop hijacking my thread, icelander and xfrock. If you want to message each other stupid ass questions about each other, go right ahead in the form of a PERSONAL MESSAGE, but stop hijacking this thread. People who are actually interested in what I've had to say now have to wean through all the bullshit messages that you guys have posted on here. Please stop and have some respect for me, the OP.
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14514069 - 05/26/11 08:02 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Get over it dude. Threads go off topic. All of them. You're not special no matter how self involved in this topic you are.
It's beyond silly to think that people can't skip over posts that they aren't interested in or that they will not post something on topic if that is their intent.
Now will you please leave me and xfrockx alone. 
BTW I have no respect for you just because you're here.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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xFrockx


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14514201 - 05/26/11 09:00 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Maybe this is why people think you're bipolar. You apparently feel an inherent right to what you expect. You can't even handle a little text banter that you don't need to read. Here's some advice, if you want to get better grow some thicker skin and stop getting upset off over little, meaningless, shit.
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InTiMiDaToRdInO
D1N0



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14514288 - 05/26/11 09:32 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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it is slightly disrespectful to jack a thread with said banter and it is meaningless you said it yourself. This thread had a meaning about an important topic to some people before it was corrupted and became meaningless. The world doesnt revolved around the ignorant asses like you who disreguard the intentions of the OP. You two are just selfish frock and ice and its a shame
-------------------- IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.:.TRAVEL THE UNIVERSE
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occollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14514316 - 05/26/11 09:43 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: Maybe this is why people think you're bipolar. You apparently feel an inherent right to what you expect. You can't even handle a little text banter that you don't need to read. Here's some advice, if you want to get better grow some thicker skin and stop getting upset off over little, meaningless, shit.
There's a HUGE difference between making side comments (which are apparent in almost every thread) but to completely, downright HIJACK a thread is very rude and you guys are doing this. It's completely rude. Please stop. You guys created an ENTIRE FUCKING PAGE of off topic hijacking that I had to click "ignore" to.
It shows complete disrespect for me and my current issue that I'm dealing with. This is not "the pub" nor is it "the psychedelic experience." this is not a thread for rude hijacking.
This is MY thread that I personally started and was personally looking for a meaningful answer. I started getting meaningful answers and then you losers had to come in and start your little side comments and thread hijacking. Please stop it. I am not angry, I just simply don't want side comments in a thread that has importance to me and to others. Start your own thread about your meaningless back and forth nothingness that contributes nothing to this thread.
Edited by occollegeboi (05/26/11 09:55 AM)
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14514392 - 05/26/11 10:10 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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First off this thread doesn't belong in this forum. It belongs in Physical and Mental. Take it there as they can also change diapers.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: InTiMiDaToRdInO]
#14514396 - 05/26/11 10:11 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
InTiMiDaToRdInO said: it is slightly disrespectful to jack a thread with said banter and it is meaningless you said it yourself. This thread had a meaning about an important topic to some people before it was corrupted and became meaningless. The world doesnt revolved around the ignorant asses like you who disreguard the intentions of the OP. You two are just selfish frock and ice and its a shame
You are way off topic boy.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Diploid
Cuban



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: InTiMiDaToRdInO]
#14514715 - 05/26/11 11:19 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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InTiMiDaToRdInO,
Name calling and personalisms are against the rules in PS&P. If you can't debate the topic without resorting to calling people names, then don't post in PS&P. Consider this your warning.
Read the rest of the rules here before you post again:
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/4526664#4526664
Everyone else, stop derailing the thread. Take the personal banter to PM.
-------------------- Republican Values: 1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you. 2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child. 3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer. 4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.
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NetDiver
Wandering Mindfuck


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Diploid]
#14514732 - 05/26/11 11:22 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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If you were diagnosed as bipolar, it's likely you have it. There's no such thing as a "negative life vibration" with no clinical cause.
My gf's mom is bipolar, refuses to take medication, and is not only fucking crazy, she is a huge cunt to everyone around her.
You should take your medication.
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SacredUniverse
Nonexistant

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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: NetDiver]
#14514817 - 05/26/11 11:39 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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But do you know what she's like when she's on her meds?
-------------------- You can knock yourself out for all I care
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occollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: NetDiver]
#14514835 - 05/26/11 11:42 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Samurai Drifter said: If you were diagnosed as bipolar, it's likely you have it. There's no such thing as a "negative life vibration" with no clinical cause.
My gf's mom is bipolar, refuses to take medication, and is not only fucking crazy, she is a huge cunt to everyone around her.
You should take your medication.
The basis for the diagnosis of bipolar are subjective experiences of hypomania and depression and the extremity one experiences those. It is not made like how cancer is diagnosed. There is no known biochemical reason for having bipolar...at this time in history. It's all theories. Though there is no "cure" for bipolar, it does seem to be experienced differently at different times of a person's life. One year it may be better than another year. The seasons can also trigger hypomania or depression. I think if one is aware of their feelings and knows how to channel the energy, it can be possible to be medication free.
Anyway, I know that I had a problem with rage and anger prior to being on meds and I feel very bad for all the rage and anger I put towards my mother prior to being on meds.
I was usually aware of my rage when I experienced and would work with accordance to it. For example, if my mom would be bothering me, I would stay in my room until I cooled down. A lot of the times I would choose to not do anything about it and would just rage and yell at my mom.
Again, I also hated life which I KNOW I projected onto certain people because I wanted them to see how much I hated life and in turn I would try to make them miserable so as to "see" my pain but I don't think it works like that.
I think if it's possible for a diabetic to be stable with insulin AND have an occasional candy bar, it's totally possible for a bipolar like me to enjoy a good mushroom trip (or a few, in this case) if I want to.
In all honestly, I'd rather take a prescription pill only on an "as needed" basis. I've expressed this to my doctor but he didn't do anything about it. He just said, "Well seroquel is helping so lets keep you on that." Seroquel also gives me really bad heart burn. It's been doing this since I started taking it on day one. Also, like I alrady stated, I was STILL getting depressed even while on 600mg!! Does this mean that I should have gone to a higher dose? Does it mean that the dose is CAUSING suicidal ideation? If such a high dose IS the cause of my suicidal ideation, does that mean I should have never gone up to a higher dose? I certainly feel fine right now being on 150mg versus 600mg. I know seroquel is used for "treatment resistant depression" so there's no reason why I should get depressed on such a high dose. Beats the hell right out of me.
Edited by occollegeboi (05/26/11 11:47 AM)
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SacredUniverse
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14514844 - 05/26/11 11:47 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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To be honest I think like 1/4 of the people who are diagnosed with bi-polar disorder actually have it, it's like adhd and add, if you tell a docter that you can't pay attention and have trouble trying they just give you meds, it's that stupid
-------------------- You can knock yourself out for all I care
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occollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: SacredUniverse]
#14514865 - 05/26/11 11:53 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
SacredUniverse said: To be honest I think like 1/4 of the people who are diagnosed with bi-polar disorder actually have it, it's like adhd and add, if you tell a docter that you can't pay attention and have trouble trying they just give you meds, it's that stupid
This is exactly what I was trying to get at in my last post. The doc who "diagnosed" me gave me a list of symptoms for mania and depression. Told me to go home and see which ones I experienced and to the extreme I experienced it at. Such things were "being more interested in sex than usual" "having a flight of thoughts and being super energetic" you know the usual symptoms. They are ALL subjective. I mean, there's certainly times when I'm more interested in sex than other times, but is that a sign of hypomania? There's times when I've been able to stay awake alllll night long and be wide awake, but is that neccessarily a basis for "hypomania?"
Anyway, when I came back to see the doc the next week, I told him which ones I experienced. He then asked me, "Do you feel that since you've experienced these that you are bipolar?" All I could think was, "Well, yes, I've experienced these symptoms, but who am I to know? I'm not the doctor, YOU are, shouldn't YOU be able to tell if I'm bipolar or not?"
So what I learned is that the diagnosis of bipolar, and even depression, is of a subjective manner.
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xFrockx


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14514908 - 05/26/11 12:02 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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"This is MY thread"
Personal possession is an illusion. No wonder you get so upset, you think you can own the world.
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SacredUniverse
Nonexistant


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14514937 - 05/26/11 12:07 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: "This is MY thread"
Personal possession is an illusion. No wonder you get so upset, you think you can own the world.
Everyone is selfish, the moment you make something you own it, everything is an illusion, but it keeps you happy doesn't it?
-------------------- You can knock yourself out for all I care
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xFrockx


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: SacredUniverse]
#14514940 - 05/26/11 12:08 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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"everything is an illusion"
Ok. Then so is that.
Edited by xFrockx (05/26/11 12:15 PM)
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SacredUniverse
Nonexistant


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14514973 - 05/26/11 12:15 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: "everything is an illusion"
Ok.
Well think about it, you can't prove your own existence to anyone else, and everything could just be random impulses firing in your brain, so by default, nothing exists except for you and maybe a little less
-------------------- You can knock yourself out for all I care
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xFrockx


Registered: 09/17/06
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: SacredUniverse]
#14514995 - 05/26/11 12:18 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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What permits the illusion to exist?
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14515041 - 05/26/11 12:28 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: "This is MY thread"
Personal possession is an illusion. No wonder you get so upset, you think you can own the world.
This is a basic newbie mistake here. We think we can control the direction of our threads. I feel fortunate if the first three posts to any thread I make are on topic.
With time one learns to ignore anything going in other directions, realizing others have their own wants and desires. It's basically a free for all here and no one gets everything they want. Just like the rest of life.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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InTiMiDaToRdInO
D1N0



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14515044 - 05/26/11 12:28 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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isnt there usually episodes of several weeks or days that the bipolar person experiences either a high or low and during whichever it is they experiece the general symptoms. A high is extreme, its beyond normal, it lasts days or weeks constantly. A low is extreme depression, rage, sadness, homicidial and suicidal ideation. Bipolar type 1 the highs and lows are EXTREME and obvious usually and bipolar type 2 the high is much lower but the low is still pretty bad and usually noticable AND usually theres a time when the person has days or weeks or months when they are stable. The diagnosis for bipolar is based on episodes not just instant mood swings, usually
-------------------- IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.:.TRAVEL THE UNIVERSE
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SacredUniverse
Nonexistant


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14515075 - 05/26/11 12:35 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: What permits the illusion to exist?
The fact that you think it does, it's like god, if you think he exists he does, but if you don't think he does, he doesn't, there's no proof he does or doesn't, but if you think he does then he does to you
-------------------- You can knock yourself out for all I care
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xFrockx


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: SacredUniverse]
#14515087 - 05/26/11 12:37 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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"The fact that you think it does,"
What permits me to exist?
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SacredUniverse
Nonexistant


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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14515099 - 05/26/11 12:40 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: "The fact that you think it does,"
What permits me to exist?
Ever heard "I think therefore I am" ?
-------------------- You can knock yourself out for all I care
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xFrockx


Registered: 09/17/06
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: SacredUniverse]
#14516037 - 05/26/11 03:44 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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That doesn't answer my question. The fact that I think says nothing about what permits me to think.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14516049 - 05/26/11 03:46 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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chemical interactions.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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xFrockx


Registered: 09/17/06
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14516054 - 05/26/11 03:47 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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What permits those to exist?
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Icelander
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14516364 - 05/26/11 04:47 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Nothing "permits" them as far as I know. They exist.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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andrewss
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: Icelander]
#14516474 - 05/26/11 05:03 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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bipolar: another term for a swing and a miss of humanity, its breeding, nurturing, and so called culture
we need more gallows, but i guess pills suffice right
-------------------- Jesus loves you.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: andrewss] 1
#14516564 - 05/26/11 05:22 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Ohio is such a gloomy state.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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NetDiver
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: SacredUniverse]
#14520333 - 05/27/11 11:32 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
SacredUniverse said: Ever heard "I think therefore I am" ?
Like that actually proves anything. Who are you and how do you know you think?
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mooshroom
Stranger

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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: xFrockx]
#14520523 - 05/27/11 12:19 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
xFrockx said: What permits those to exist?
Jesus.
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InTiMiDaToRdInO
D1N0



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: mooshroom]
#14520564 - 05/27/11 12:29 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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my theory is when that was sitting under a tree and got hit in the head with a apple, that apple fucked him up and he didnt know what he was talking about the rest of his life. And the dude who came up with E=mc^2 just look at his hair he looks like a schitzo so who know why anything is anything but thats what mushies are for, possibly bringing you closer answers
-------------------- IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.:.TRAVEL THE UNIVERSE
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occollegeboi
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: InTiMiDaToRdInO]
#14565727 - 06/05/11 06:02 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Well I'm now taking 150mg of seroquel a day now. I feel LESS agitated than I did when I was on 600mg. I'm not sure if it's due to the lessened dose or my increase in introspection.
Whatever it is, my mushrooms will be done in a few weeks and so I should have no problem not taking seroquel when it comes.
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InTiMiDaToRdInO
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14567016 - 06/05/11 10:39 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
occollegeboi said: Well I'm now taking 150mg of seroquel a day now. I feel LESS agitated than I did when I was on 600mg. I'm not sure if it's due to the lessened dose or my increase in introspection.
Whatever it is, my mushrooms will be done in a few weeks and so I should have no problem not taking seroquel when it comes.
does Seroquel mke you drosey? when do you take your Seroquel and is it in a single dose? I was given Seroquel to knock my ass out at night cuz i have sleep problems
-------------------- IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.:.TRAVEL THE UNIVERSE
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occollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: InTiMiDaToRdInO]
#14581913 - 06/08/11 09:04 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
InTiMiDaToRdInO said:
does Seroquel mke you drosey? when do you take your Seroquel and is it in a single dose? I was given Seroquel to knock my ass out at night cuz i have sleep problems
YES!! Seroquel makes me drowsy. It made me a lot more drowsy at 600mg than at the lesser doses. But it still makes you pretty fuckin' drowsy even at lower doses. If I smoke weed while on it, I can't help but fall asleep.
It's weird though. Sometimes it makes me drowsy as fuck, sometimes I don't feel shit.
I take the extended release type.
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InTiMiDaToRdInO
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14588444 - 06/09/11 11:52 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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yeah thats what i was given too (the XR type). I read somewhere, maybe on wiki, that seroquel is one of the most sedating something-rathers haha i dont remember right now. But i found that little tid bit interesting
-------------------- IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.:.TRAVEL THE UNIVERSE
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occollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod



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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: InTiMiDaToRdInO]
#14723366 - 07/05/11 11:29 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yah, seroquel is pretty fucking sedating. It's way more sedating than ambien. Ambien doesn't really do shit to me. If I want to sleep for half the day, all I have to do is take doubly my dosage of seroquel. I did that, and then I smoked weed. I would have literally passed out had I not gotten to my bed as soon as I did.
Anyway, I took my entheojenic trip, here is my trip report: I died and experienced everything and all.
Please tell me what you think. I thought about a lot of stuff during the trip like about my past depression and stuff like that.
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MarkostheGnostic
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Re: Bipolar or personal, negative life vibration? [Re: occollegeboi]
#14731076 - 07/07/11 12:55 PM (12 years, 6 months ago) |
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I agree with redgreenvines, and would add that I think it wise to titrate (adjust downward) your medication, in order to find the minimal optimal dosage - one that works but has the least unwanted side effects. Bipolar used to be classified as an "affective psychosis," in DSM III, but changed it to a major mood disorder in DSM IV-R, There, you can see type I &II, hypomanic, manic, hypermanic episodic phases. Whatever. Bipolar is highly correlated with chemical imbalances, and not to be a party-pooper, psychedelics are contraindicated (forever, if one is a psychiatrist who is responsible for his/her patient), but at least until you are older and stabilized. Technically, you are still in adolescence until you are 25 years old. That is the age that car rental places and automobile insurance companies recognize adult development for their purposes, and they're based on developmental findings.
Ego is a word first popularized by Freud, but which has different meanings when applied by different theorists. In a nutshell, one's ego constitutes one's conscious, waking life. It is a cohesive psychic structure which forms one's individual identity. One's embodied ego is characterized by one's identification with one's physical body and body image. The "egoic-mind" as Eckhart Tolle explains it, is a useful concept. I recommend reading The Power of Now if you haven't. John Lennon tried to 'kill his ego' in a misunderstanding of the reading of The Psychedelic Experience, and he complained bitterly about almost ruining his very creative life (ego)! The cessation [Sanskrit: Nirvana] of the individual identity characterizes a range of transpersonal or transcendental experiences. In Hindu and Buddhist thought, such an experience is symbolized by the 'seed syllable' OM. In such an experience, the limited identity of one's body, and the mundane aspects of mind (sensations, thoughts, emotions) are temporarily annihilated. In place of one's individual identity, a "hyperpranic" or "psychocosmic" reality of light, ecstasy, sound with a seemingly universal and eternal nature is experienced at the Brain Center. It is an identity of Pure Consciousness (a PCEvent).
The experience of Infinity/Eternity can only maintain for so long. It is very radiant, pure, ethereal, but ultimately sterile. It is like standing at the 'peak' of Mt. Everest. One cannot live in that rarified, ultraviolet irradiated iciness for long. It is a 'peak' experience in both cases, the inner taking its name from the latter. Like a mountaineer, one needs to descend the mountain (like the mythical Moses) after having an Enlightenment experience, communicate (Throat Center) this experience to others (there are 'others' again, when at the peak, there was only ONE[NESS]). One returns to the Human sphere (Heart Center), and this is the place where the Infinite has descended into the finitude of the human heart. In Buddhist yoga, this movement is symbolized by the syllables OM-AH-HUM, and symbolizes the Brain-Throat-Heart centers respectively.
Bringing 'OM' from Brain to Heart, it becomes 'HUM', and represents the 'plateau' on which human beings must dwell. The temporary annihilation of one's ego must result in a 'resurrection' of the ego, and this a deeply significant if one applies the above process to the gospel stories about experiences at Pentacost, or with the baptism (of the Holy Spirit), death, resurrection and ascension stories about Jesus that are described as outer events. Esoteric Christianity recognizes these so-called events as inner moments of spiritual development. They are universal, not just Buddhist or Christian. Ancient Egypt had the earliest version.
In other words: one NEEDS a strong but resilient ego in order to develop spiritually. After an Enlightenment or peak experience, however, one's ego becomes 'enlightened' by the descending 'energies' at the peak. One's Body-Speech-Mind (Brain-Throat-Heart) become transformed into vehicles of Enlightened Mind. IF, one applies Psychedelic Experience to classical spiritual experience, then we are talking about the same thing. But again, this requires effort so as not 'backslide' into one's old personality. The parables about the sower in the NT speak to what happens when people who 'receive the word [logos] of God,' and then regress back to the old nature of the unenlightened egoic-mind. You do not want to kill your ego. The result would be called decompensation - a disintegration of the personality. The body-ego and the egoic-mind still need to operate on the first three chakra motivations of survival, sex and social interest, else one finds himself in a state hospital, jacking off publicly, throwing feces and drooling from the psychotropic medication. You may want to read about the "egoic-mind" from Tolle's book.
"For you are clearly a letter of Christ, the fruit of our work, recorded not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in stone, but in s of flesh." - 2 Corinthians 3:3
Best wishes, MtG
Edited by MarkostheGnostic (07/07/11 01:06 PM)
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