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Anonymous #1
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frustrated (ed)
#14497171 - 05/23/11 12:47 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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A little background info, I'm 24 6' 170lbs in decent shape I life weights 4-5 times a week. I don't binge drink or even do any drugs even weed anymore, my bad habit is smoking. I've smoked about a pack a day for the past 4 years. I've been thinking of quitting and if it might help in this department I'd have a much bigger motivation to quit. With the lack of sex I jack off pretty much daily while watching porn, that doesn't help either. I've had troubles getting erections the handful of times I've tried to have sex. Four or five different girls all the same problem. Sometimes I can get a boner just messing around with my clothes on but as soon as they come off the price is right fail music plays and it's gone.
So I figure my main problem is psychological, I was raised in a strict religious home and sex was taboo. Even though I know this is ridiculous but maybe it's still affecting me subconsciously. I'm also kind of quiet and have anxiety especially around people I don't know well. Other factors may be hormonal, low testosterone may explain some things like low energy, fatigue and lack of taking initiative when it comes to getting laid(all the girls I've hooked up with came onto me). I'm planning to run a cycle of testosterone which would put this theory to the test but that's a different topic.
So the reason I'm writing this, last night I met this chick, a friend of a friend and she was really digging me. She was really cute with a banging body and we ended up going back to said friend's apartment to sleep. After everyone went to bed it was just me and her on the couch and we started fooling around. Made out for a while, fingered her, even went down on her and this whole time did not get a boner for even a second. At best I had half a chub and started rubbing it on the outside of her pussy and tried to put it in but it just wasn't happening. After this she was like, "Sorry, I can't do this we just met." blah blah blah.
Luckily enough she still likes me and wants to hang out this weekend. I want to bang her brains out (maybe even dshsb) but I'm worried it's going to happen again. So does anyone have any suggestions how I can prevent a repeat of last night? Any herbal remedies, OTC drugs or anything that I could tell myself going into this that would help to get over this hump. Even getting it in and busting a nut in 10 seconds would be less embarrassing than this happening again especially if she would happen to tell my friends about it..
Any input is appreciated and if nothing else hopefully you got a good laugh out of it haha
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argg
Stranger


Registered: 07/20/09
Posts: 4,848
Loc: Nigeria
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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then fuck her like a boss.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: argg]
#14497207 - 05/23/11 01:03 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Let me ask you something. Do you feel guilty about having sex? If the issue is mental there is a "block" that is not letting your get comfortable. I speak from experience.
Dated a few girls longterm. No problems at all.
I meet this one girl and frankly, I knew from the start she was not for me and would just cause issues. But frankly, she was hot as hell. I had more problems in bed with her then ever before (none). We broke up (she cheated on me - imagine that..).
Next girlfriend, whom I am still with, and nothing. No problems at all.
Sex is 99.9% mental. If the brain isnt in it, the dick isn't either.
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Anonymous #3
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Luckily enough she still likes me and wants to hang out this weekend. I want to bang her brains out (maybe even dshsb) but I'm worried it's going to happen again.
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Eshu
Sean.



Registered: 06/27/10
Posts: 2,139
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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I had bad e.d too, but I know the source of mine.
I used to have sex A LOT, and fool around with a lot of different girls cause I loved sex so much.
then got e.d. and went to fuck this chick before her parents got home, and couldn't get it hard enough for penetration.
So I had to do what you did, and make up a lame excuse for I "didn't want to fuck her"
so I just ate her out until she came, and haven't had sex since.

go talk to your dr dude. E.D will tear you down mentally.
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  ~^*>~.Life is the hyphen between matter and spirit.~^*>~
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Quote:
Anonymous said: So I figure my main problem is psychological
It is, good you figured this out 
Quote:
I was raised in a strict religious home and sex was taboo. Even though I know this is ridiculous but maybe it's still affecting me subconsciously. I'm also kind of quiet and have anxiety especially around people I don't know well. Other factors may be hormonal, low testosterone may explain some things like low energy, fatigue and lack of taking initiative when it comes to getting laid(all the girls I've hooked up with came onto me). I'm planning to run a cycle of testosterone which would put this theory to the test but that's a different topic.
I don't think it's hormonal, to be honest. It seems to me that you're a bit self-conscious when it comes to sex. Apparently a bit too much, even. Are there people you can (and have) talk to face to face about sex in a non-threatening, open and honest way? Sometimes that helps. By getting things off your chest, but also in the sense that exchanging experience helps you understand that human sexual behavior is more varied than you can possibly imagine, that nearly all of us have weird habits, fetishes or problems in bed, and that therefore you're not alone and don't need to be embarrassed!
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After this she was like, "Sorry, I can't do this we just met." blah blah blah.
Dude, that's not necessarily blah-blah, that's (for many people, men too!) a valid reason. Personally, I wouldn't go all the way with someone I'd just met either. And I'm a guy with a pretty healthy sex-drive, I can assure you So she wants to see you again? Good for you! Take the opportunity. And if your little problem arises again, try talking to her about it. In honesty, I mean. What did you do those times that you weren't successful because your man-tool didn't work? How did those girls respond?
If she laughs at you, you can thank her kindly for her 'respect' and tell her to fuck off. But odds are she doesn't, and she'll appreciate your being honest. For all you know, she might be concerned that the problem is with her, and that she's not attractive to you. Or did you think you were the only one who was insecure? I've rarely met people, men or women, who are completely certain of themselves and their bedroom endeavors. Especially when you're having sex with someone for the first time, there's some anxiety. So do both the girl and yourself a favor, and discuss the issue at hand.
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Luckily enough she still likes me and wants to hang out this weekend. I want to bang her brains out (maybe even dshsb) but I'm worried it's going to happen again. So does anyone have any suggestions how I can prevent a repeat of last night? Any herbal remedies, OTC drugs or anything that I could tell myself going into this that would help to get over this hump. Even getting it in and busting a nut in 10 seconds would be less embarrassing than this happening again especially if she would happen to tell my friends about it..
Any input is appreciated and if nothing else hopefully you got a good laugh out of it haha
That's it, right? Are you afraid we're having a laugh about this? That your friends will make fun of you? Sure, some people will ridicule you. There are assholes everywhere. And some of those assholes may be of the last-for-2-seconds type, have a pen0r that resembles the camshaft of a 4-cylinder engine, secretly get their kicks off wearing suspenders and a matching bra, or think they're God's gift to women while in reality (although they probably don't realize it) have never truly satisfied any of their sexual partners. What I'm trying to say is that many of those people who you think are going to make fun of you, are in reality far from perfect in that department themselves.
So in short: you're not alone, and your problem is not unique. It is also worth discussing face-to-face with someone you trust and can discuss these things with. Finally, a mature response doesn't involve mocking someone, so if someone makes fun of you about this, it says something about that person, and not about you.
TLDR; you're not a lesser person because your dick doesn't get hard at the right moment. Convince yourself of that, and the problem will sort itself over time.
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: koraks]
#14497964 - 05/23/11 07:46 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Listen to Koraks, he's a wise fella!
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Anonymous #1
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: shLong]
#14501816 - 05/23/11 10:28 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thanks for all the responses, especially koraks for an excellent post. I know I have irrational fears and insecurities but realizing that I do doesn't make my dick hard when it counts lol. I know all I really need is to just get it one good time so I'll be more comfortable and confident about it.
To clarify the OP, noone has ever laughed or put me down in any way really its just the awkwardness of the situation that gets to me whenever I realize she realizes it ain't gonna happen. I'm not really afraid of people laughing at me I just thought it was a funny story.
I know I just need to relax and let go of my inhibitions and uncage the beast haha I just don't know how to go from point A to point B.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Well, I guess you're not going to go straight from A to B, there's probably a road between those points. How long that road is going to be, is impossible to tell. But one day you'll find that looking back, you've put quite a bit of distance between A and your current position, and hence B must have come a lot closer than it used to be. Keep an open mind, communicate openly and never blame yourself to the point that it degrades your self esteem
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: koraks]
#14503830 - 05/24/11 11:19 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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great advice koraks....really spot on.
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Kamoopstinoops
Reality is my BITCH!!!


Registered: 06/08/10
Posts: 191
Loc: Cunti, Angola
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: yogabunny] 2
#14532463 - 05/29/11 07:15 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Ditto on anonymous #2 and koraks.
Another thing you can try (if this applies to you and you do it a lot) is to try abstaining from porn and masturbation for a while, but more importantly porn. That shit (especially modern day internet shit) overstimulates your brain and can rewire it, desensitizing you to sex. Then when it comes to the real thing, it just isn't as stimulating. Also, the problem with jerking too much is that the pussy just doesn't have the same grip as your hand lol. But try abstaining for a good while (try a few months but you'll see progress every week)and I promise that you will get back to your natural "primitive" state. Sex is a tactile experience and is about feel. Porn can destroy that because your brain rewires itself to get aroused by visualisation.
In my experience, increasing your testosterone levels will make you hornier but will do nothing for ED as ED is mental or due to a lack of sensitivity. The reason I made the assumption on excessive porn and jerking off (I could be wrong) is because the symptoms you talk of - "low energy, fatigue and lack of taking initiative when it comes to getting laid" is classic of somebody who watches too much porn. And if this is you, running a cycle of test WILL NOT fix that and may even exacerbate the problem.
Anyways I'm just speaking from my own experience, I had some problems from excessive porn use through my teens and early adulthood and struggled with sex and even lacked in initiative to have sex. I could not figure out why and also thought I had low testosterone but later found that increasing my test helped little if at all. But when I learned about "porn induced ED" it all "clicked". After a few months of abstinence I was a new man, full of sexual energy and the desire to meet girls was stronger than ever. Girls can even sense your newfound mojo as well. Most importantly, sex feels absolutely incredible.
As far as your request for meds, cialis or viagra will help in the short term and can get you hard as a rock but will only mask the problem and wont fix shit. Plus if you have porn induced ED, you may get hard but you might have a hell of a lot of trouble blowing lol.
Anyways, I know it was a bit of a ramble and may not even apply to you, but just putting the point out there as this is becoming an extremely prevalent problem in young people in this modern age of high speed internet and unlimited access to extreme porn. The brain wasn't designed to cope with that level of overstimulation which doesn't even have to be earned. Young people should NOT be experiencing sexual dysfunction and it is an indication that you're doing something wrong.
-------------------- Through the Spintrinfinty of the all Tremongstanooloop, we realise that infinity may after all amount to nothing... space merely being an illusion.
Edited by Kamoopstinoops (05/29/11 07:20 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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Good post Kamoops. I figured I had become desensitized by porn that's why I included it in the OP but I hadn't thought of it as rewiring your brain to become aroused by visualization and that makes a lot of sense.
Just an update. I abstained from porn and jerking off the whole week. We ended up going out this weekend for her friends bday(my friend's gf). Friday night was kind of the same old story, I went down on her but this time she ended up giving me head and I ended up nutting a LOT from all the not-jerking off I did haha.
The next night we were messing around and I kept my jeans on for as long as I could(it seems to help somehow). When she took my jeans off I had a decent semi and maintained it long enough to get her pants off and was able to work it in. It lasted about 3 minutes before I came in her haha but that's about 2 min 55seconds better than my previous record without a rubber. I think I must jizz a lot because she said, "When you go, you go EVERYWHERE." And she took my hand and put it on her twat to make me feel haha.
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dr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,654
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2jew4u
Stranger
Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 1,014
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: dr_gonz]
#14535127 - 05/30/11 10:17 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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How many cycles have you ran? And what kinda cycles, Deca, Test mix what? Could be Ed from poor cycle maintenance- Ie no clomid after the cycle, or the type of juice you do. At 24 you should have plenty of testosterone-
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Anonymous #1
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: 2jew4u]
#14536145 - 05/30/11 01:52 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I've never done juice before, this would be my first cycle.
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Sterben



Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 2,227
Loc: Netherlands
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These work really well, they come from the dominican republic, Im 20 so i should have a boner all the time but nope when it came to the moment wasent happening or i would ahh to fast an the night would be over.
one of these 45min before snap it in half dont chew it, youll have a boner for 4 days no joke, you'll be ready when ever! fucking love, screwd this chick for 4hours once
http://cgi.ebay.com/PELA-Male-Erectile-Dysfunction-ED-5-Pills-/320705747220?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item4aab8d5914
Also ive been trying this guys method, an i godda say its working.
http://www.learnhowtoseducewomen.com
Then go to his site an watch the one hour thing, ive been trying the steps an ive noticed improvement its only day 2 but def noticing women looking at me now.
Edited by Sterben (05/30/11 09:20 PM)
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Steve
Stranger

Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 442
Loc: AUS
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: Sterben]
#14539419 - 05/31/11 06:07 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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^^^ If you think it works, great. Personally I don't believe in that sort of thing.
Whats dshdb?
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: Steve] 3
#14539452 - 05/31/11 06:23 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Steve said: Whats dshdb?
Part of the sexually frustrated community believes it is desirable or advisable to penetrate the excrement-related orifice of the human body without the aid of lubricants: 'dry smash her/his shit box'. It also seems the common understanding on the Shroomery forums that the best advice that can be provided without necessarily reading the entire opening post (or: any of it at all) is dshsb. Indeed, it's the Shroomery panacea. Soon, it will be accepted and embraced by established medicine as the first step in any process that should lead to diagnosis and ultimately treatment. "Well sir, have you tried dshsb? No? I suggest you go back home and try that first. Start of with three times a day, spread out over the day, and then come back in a week if the problem persists."
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: koraks]
#14539501 - 05/31/11 06:42 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Mr.gym
Senor hongos



Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 273
Loc: Northern V.A.
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Re: frustrated (ed) [Re: shLong]
#14542529 - 05/31/11 08:25 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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There should be a dshsb emoticon
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