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Offlinebholzer
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Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs!
    #14495278 - 05/22/11 05:54 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Let me start by saying I am a pretty experienced drug user. Probably something around 200-300 trips overall on various drugs. Used to be a consistent smoker. Pretty much daily.

My last couple of trips were on ayahuasca, and they did some weird stuff to me. Just made me start thinking in a weird way. Now, just thinking about being intoxicated freaks me out. The idea of not being in complete control of my mind for a few hours just puts me on edge. The idea that I can take something and there's no turning back and that my mindset will be changed for a few hours is scary. Anybody else experience this?


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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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Offlineqream
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Registered: 05/18/11
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Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: bholzer]
    #14495309 - 05/22/11 05:58 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Just lay off the drugs for a while dude.
If you don't feel like tripping then just take a break.

Edit:
forgot to answer your question,
Yes I have experienced those feelings before.
I quit drugs for a half a year and started working out and it was a much needed break in my life.

Now I'm started to get interested in tripping and weed again it just makes it so much more fun.
I'm hoping for a few good Lucy trips this summer before my next break.:awecid:


Edited by qream (05/22/11 06:04 PM)


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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: qream]
    #14495318 - 05/22/11 06:00 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

qream said:
Just lay off the drugs for a while dude.
If you don't feel like tripping then just take a break.



Oh I am, I've been taking it easy for a while now. I just don't like the derealization that I've been feeling in the wake of my last trips. it's been getting better, but the thoughts are still just so weird! I think about everything differently, and I don't like it.


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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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Offlinemattritt
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: qream]
    #14495322 - 05/22/11 06:00 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Yea, take a break.  You'll be fine.  Enjoy being sober.


--------------------
**Metaphysical Crystal, Stones, Gems, and Minerals**
Every individual reacts differently to every chemical.
Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.
:bongload:  :gethigh:  "You need more THC to your brain, faster." - Drr  :gethigh:  :bongload:


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OfflineChronicSmoke
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: qream]
    #14495329 - 05/22/11 06:02 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I always feel that way about shrooms in the beginning every single time I take them.  But then when they get going I am all :raveface: and its all good.

But I have done mushrooms maybe 10-14 times over the past 10 years so im not the most seasoned tripper.

But now I have a jarfull so I am trying to gain some experience in space.


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This is a public computer, 1,000's of people use it everyday this isn't me typing this.  I dont even know how I got on this site, how the hell do I even work this computer.:wow: 



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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: mattritt]
    #14495338 - 05/22/11 06:04 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mattritt said:
Yea, take a break.  You'll be fine.  Enjoy being sober.



It has been nice to be sober for the bit I have been. Being sober has been more enjoyable than being high. I never would have guessed it was possible until I had actually been sober.


--------------------


Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: ChronicSmoke]
    #14495349 - 05/22/11 06:07 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ChronicSmoke said:
I always feel that way about shrooms in the beginning every single time I take them.  But then when they get going I am all :raveface: and its all good.

But I have done mushrooms maybe 10-14 times over the past 10 years so im not the most seasoned tripper.

But now I have a jarfull so I am trying to gain some experience in space.



Yea dude, enjoy that jar. There was a period for me where there was nothing better than unlocking my subconscious and exploring. But now that idea just scares me. I don't know why. Maybe it's me growing out of drugs like I probably should? Who knows...


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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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Offlineqream
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Registered: 05/18/11
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: ChronicSmoke]
    #14495350 - 05/22/11 06:07 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Lol I was gonna ninja edit...but I was wayy too slow:tongue2:


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OfflineGibson33
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: qream]
    #14495367 - 05/22/11 06:10 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

There is a time and place for everything, right now it's just not your time to be taking drugs.


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OfflineChronicSmoke
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: Gibson33]
    #14495439 - 05/22/11 06:27 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Maybe focus on the real world, create something big in your real life.  And who knows maybe you will feel inspired to jump in again.

Dont worry about it, if you crave a trip in a few months go for it.

You might be focusing too much on the negative aspect of tripping.  Is your glass half full or half empty, im a half full kinds guy.  Not to say I dont become that half empty person but its better to just be positive.


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This is a public computer, 1,000's of people use it everyday this isn't me typing this.  I dont even know how I got on this site, how the hell do I even work this computer.:wow: 



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Invisiblejoemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: bholzer]
    #14495451 - 05/22/11 06:28 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah, Bholzer, I can relate to you that eventually tripping can lose that carefree, blissful sparkle and the whole thing can become an uneasy ordeal to go through.  Your fear of losing control can be a real danger because there comes a point in some trips on some psychedelics that you can lose your shit and at that point you are on a strange automatic pilot.  Most users probably don't ever get to experience that exquisite hell, but once you get near it, you can't forget it or its possible consequences.

What concerns me about your post is that you mention derealization.  I've never had it as an aftereffect of a trip, but I've read and researched it extensively.  These drugs do have lingering echoes that they leave bouncing around in your head and they have fingerprints firmly planted on your psyche long after the trip is over.  I never believed or understood the significance of that until recently as I notice subtle changes in the way I think and the way I perceive the world.  I haven't crossed the line to where I'd say it handicaps me or is overtly negative, but its noticeable and I don't necessarily welcome it.

Since you are feeling a kind of derealization, these drugs may be digging their fingers in your head and scarring you rather than leaving a simple fingerprint.  It's kinda hard to finally cease and desist from tripping altogether, but you seem on a good path because you say that not tripping feels better than tripping.  Its always a battle between desires and the stronger desire always wins, no matter what.

I'd say you are at an important juncture here.  Quit, or trip rarely and carefully, or move on to different drugs.  I'm trying the middle path although I know the first choice is the healthiest.


--------------------
Don't PM me with bullshit.  I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.


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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: ChronicSmoke]
    #14495464 - 05/22/11 06:32 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ChronicSmoke said:
Maybe focus on the real world, create something big in your real life.  And who knows maybe you will feel inspired to jump in again.

Dont worry about it, if you crave a trip in a few months go for it.

You might be focusing too much on the negative aspect of tripping.  Is your glass half full or half empty, im a half full kinds guy.  Not to say I dont become that half empty person but its better to just be positive.



I'm definitely a positive person who isn't easily bothered or upset or overwhelmed.

I have had some stressors lately though. I'm really interested in finding a more fruitful hobby though. I may be starting a garden or something similar.

Meditation has been pretty helpful which is nice. :peace:


--------------------


Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: joemolloy]
    #14495491 - 05/22/11 06:40 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Joe, I have noticed that you've been going through the similar struggle, which is why I defend you so heartily in your threads where everyone seems to think anyone who is against full psychedelic lifestyle is a troll.

The derealization has been the most worrisome part. I don't care about losing interests in the drugs, although it is odd. I just hate seeing things as though they are a part of a movie. It's like things lose any sort of emotional value. I can read a sad story and realize that it's sad, but I just don't feel it. I don't feel like this all the time, but when I do, it feels like a personal hell.

I go back and forth a couple times a day, it's like bipolar almost. What scares me the most is my sister is bipolar, and my mothers side of the family is riddled with emotional disorders. I knew I was playing with fire from the beginning, but it never bit me in the ass until recently.

Like I said, meditation helps, along with hanging out with my friends. The problem is, I can't always hang out with my friends or meditate.

Hopefully it will wear off with some reduced drug use.


--------------------


Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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Offlinemattritt
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: bholzer]
    #14495736 - 05/22/11 07:38 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Trust the Aya, if it tells you to be sober.  Then be sober.  That's how you know its a good drug, the ones that tell you not to do them are the ones you can trust.


--------------------
**Metaphysical Crystal, Stones, Gems, and Minerals**
Every individual reacts differently to every chemical.
Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.
:bongload:  :gethigh:  "You need more THC to your brain, faster." - Drr  :gethigh:  :bongload:


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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: mattritt]
    #14495745 - 05/22/11 07:39 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mattritt said:
Trust the Aya, if it tells you to be sober.  Then be sober.  That's how you know its a good drug, the ones that tell you not to do them are the ones you can trust.



Damn well put. 5 shrooms for you sir.


--------------------


Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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OfflineChronicSmoke
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: bholzer]
    #14495767 - 05/22/11 07:42 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

JoeMolly seems really experienced and the young ones that call him a troll should probably listen too them.

But I guess they will just have to experience that hell JoeMolly spoke of.

Thats why I dont do large doses never have never will I have too many fears and dont ever feel able to go big.


--------------------
This is a public computer, 1,000's of people use it everyday this isn't me typing this.  I dont even know how I got on this site, how the hell do I even work this computer.:wow: 



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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: ChronicSmoke]
    #14495793 - 05/22/11 07:45 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ChronicSmoke said:
JoeMolly seems really experienced and the young ones that call him a troll should probably listen too them.

But I guess they will just have to experience that hell JoeMolly spoke of.

Thats why I dont do large doses never have never will I have too many fears and dont ever feel able to go big.



Always good to play it safe dude. If you're having a good time, there's no need to push it too hard! Enjoy the ride.

A big dose is the thing that really caused me trouble. But I think I am starting to be able to accept that trip a little more lately.

Don't take a 15 gram mimosahuasca dose lightly. It's powerful stuff.


--------------------


Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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Invisiblejoemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: mattritt]
    #14495814 - 05/22/11 07:48 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mattritt said:
Trust the Aya, if it tells you to be sober.  Then be sober.  That's how you know its a good drug, the ones that tell you not to do them are the ones you can trust.




I trusted the Aya and it told me to trip every Saturday for two years.  The Aya was compelling in its persuasion as it left tasty breadcrumbs during and after every trip to lead on a path to enlightenment.  The Aya led me all across the universe, the inner workings of my mind, and body of God. 

I think Aya is just a powerful bunch of chemicals that tickle those pleasure centers in my brain.  One time I blew a load in my pants during a trip.  The Aya must have really wanted me to continue and I obediently followed her lead. 

It felt fucking right, every fucking time.

I think Bholzer should trust in his own intelligence, strength, and powers to straighten his mind out and continue to build for a strong and positive life.  His decision to use Aya is part of what fucked him.


--------------------
Don't PM me with bullshit.  I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.


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Offlinemattritt
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: bholzer]
    #14495847 - 05/22/11 07:52 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

[in response to holzers last post]

No way man, thats a shitload!!  Mimosa doseage is 5-7 grams from what I've read.  Go with psychotria though if youre gunna brew.  Jurema (mimosa brew) is full of tannins and only used traditionally by a VERY small sect.  Chacaruna (psychotria) is what most ayahuasca is traditionally made with though some use Chaliponga which contains 5-MeO-DMT, and some use a combo of both.

Over time you'll integrate the experience and come to terms with it, and really thats the most important part.  What you bring back from the experience and apply to your life.

Wish you the best of luck!


--------------------
**Metaphysical Crystal, Stones, Gems, and Minerals**
Every individual reacts differently to every chemical.
Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.
:bongload:  :gethigh:  "You need more THC to your brain, faster." - Drr  :gethigh:  :bongload:


Edited by mattritt (05/22/11 07:56 PM)


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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Don't know what is going on, scared of ALL drugs! [Re: joemolloy]
    #14495858 - 05/22/11 07:54 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

joemolloy said:
His decision to use Aya is part of what fucked him.



Definitely true, but when he says that drugs that tell you not to do them are the ones you can trust, he's not lying.

I think we've actually talked about that before, how psychedelics can just prevent themselves from being abused (to an extent)


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