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helix
Idealist Thinker Musician Lover


Registered: 09/13/10
Posts: 409
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it's official...mdma doesn't do anything for me anymore
#14489481 - 05/21/11 12:46 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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So I used to roll quite a bit up until a year/year and a half ago. I stopped doing mdma because i was feeling the low serotonin levels and it was starting to feel artificial, plus I was trying psychedelics on for size and finding a much more complex intellectual-euphoric world with them, as opposed to the much simpler empathy release of MDMA.
But last night I decided to give it another go. I just finished my semester, it was the rapture, and this was some of the purest MDMA I had ever come across (they were CRYSTALS).
Early-on, I realized that the feeling I got is a feeling that I've already learned to channel in my sober life...getting to know someone, accomplishing something, self-improvement, hundreds of things I can think of, that, over the course of the past year, I've conditioned to trigger this exact same intense euphoria as what I was experiencing last night on mdma - where everyone is awesome, I feel no reserves talking to anyone about anything and where I feel truly comfortable in my own skin. Even the body high i can (almost) replicate through working out, intense yoga or meditation.
But I hadn't really worked for that feeling too much at this party. It was automatic. So it felt super cheap. And now I feel kinda burnt out as is typical for a lot of people in the morning after...so my conclusion is that I'm finally over MDMA. It's taught me MUCH about myself, and perhaps seriously overdoing it a year ago hasn't helped my conception of it, but I'm pretty certain that it has nothing more to teach me
RIP MDMA Love Affair 2008 - 2011
Edited by helix (05/21/11 12:48 PM)
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The Phleg
Big Dick Chakra




Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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Re: it's official...mdma doesn't do anything for me anymore [Re: helix]
#14489489 - 05/21/11 12:50 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Live and learn.
-------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------
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eyesofachild
Learner

Registered: 05/21/11
Posts: 8
Loc: California
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
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Re: it's official...mdma doesn't do anything for me anymore [Re: The Phleg]
#14489766 - 05/21/11 02:12 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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It sounds wonderful though that you've learned how to incorporate things initially learned from MDMA into your sober life, and impressive you can even reach the body high somewhat through exercise/yoga. It seems you have used it as a very good tool in your life, and no longer need or want it anymore.
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traviedigital
Stranger

Registered: 05/03/08
Posts: 187
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: it's official...mdma doesn't do anything for me anymore [Re: eyesofachild]
#14491580 - 05/21/11 09:44 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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you've crossed over
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helix
Idealist Thinker Musician Lover


Registered: 09/13/10
Posts: 409
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Re: it's official...mdma doesn't do anything for me anymore [Re: eyesofachild]
#14491625 - 05/21/11 09:52 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
eyesofachild said: learned how to incorporate things initially learned from MDMA into your sober life
Actually i should've clarified. After my major mdma love affair back in the day, It was that helped me figure out how to channel positive mdma-like energy while sober
Edited by helix (05/21/11 09:54 PM)
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ohcrapitsnico
The Other One


Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 2,720
Loc: Houston
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Re: it's official...mdma doesn't do anything for me anymore [Re: traviedigital]
#14491629 - 05/21/11 09:53 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I've been at it for more than two years now...I never went overboard but I've probably rolled a good 30 maybe 40 times, I've lost count. But I'm definitely at that point where psychs are starting to eclipse x for me. I still want good rolls though. 
...even better I want to candyflip.
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occollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod



Registered: 04/10/11
Posts: 2,857
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
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Re: it's official...mdma doesn't do anything for me anymore [Re: helix]
#14491685 - 05/21/11 10:06 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Ecstasy is REALLY bad for you, anyway. LSD does thousands of times less brain damage than E. E makes neurotoxins.
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muistrue
Inspired by the mystery


Registered: 03/20/05
Posts: 12,899
Loc: Behind the Redwoods
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Re: it's official...mdma doesn't do anything for me anymore [Re: helix]
#14491721 - 05/21/11 10:15 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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It definitely isn't as fun or magical as it was when I first started doing it but I still do use it, it's just party fuel for me now.
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