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cybercube
Stranger
Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 5
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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Re: Obsessed about my shroom trip 4 years ago...PLEASE HELP [Re: Dawks]
#14485837 - 05/20/11 06:29 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dawks said:
Quote:
I keep comparing myself to before and after my shrooms trip
This is your problem and YOU know it. You said so yourself.
Honestly OP, you sound like a bit of a drama king. A mushroom trip is just an experience. That's all - nothing more.
What you're doing is kind of like saying "I walked in on my mom when she was naked once and my life will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN ". You're just using your shroom experience as an excuse not to man up in life and that's holding you back.
Don't get me wrong, I know things can be difficult BUT I also know things can be a hell of a lot more difficult if you have a mental shield to hide behind. Children blaming their poor grades or "ADHD" and their bad behavior on their "broken childhoods". Boo fucking hoo. We've all had good times and bad. A measure of a person is how well they let bygones be bygones and move the fuck on.
You know why you don't put as much emotion in to baseball anymore? because of a little thing called metacognition (thinking about thinking). Before, when you watched the baseball, you had nothing to blame if you didn't enjoy it, you just sat there and let the good times roll. By allowing yourself to become fully immersed in the game your amygdala was able to kick in and send waves of emotion through your entire being. But now, when you watch the baseball - instead of just enjoying the game, you sit there thinking about how you're not enjoying the game. You can't be fully immersed in something if you're thinking about not being fully immersed in something.
Baseball is neither good nor bad, exiting nor boring, important nor umimportant. Baseball is just baseball. If YOU enjoy baseball, than YOU enjoy baseball. If YOU don't, then YOU don't. If baseball isn't your thing anymore move on. It doesn't matter that you used to like it more, because that person who you used to be isn't you, you're you.
I for instance used to play with action figures, I don't anymore. I don't sit around all day with a stale old action figure thinking to myself "this used to be so much fun, why can't I enjoy it anymore" because it doesn't matter. Who gives flying nyan why I don't enjoy action figures, I enjoy other things like computers, women and psychedelic drugs.
Ultimately OP, the fact of the matter is you can never take back that first shroom trip. Whether your life would have been better if you never did it is irrelevant, because that's not what happened. You are you, the guy that didn't take shrooms is not. Wishing that you were somebody else isn't going to make your life better. Embracing who you are is.
Well said man! I couldn't agree with the above more.
I have social anxiety, which can become pretty overwhelming at times, so I know how cripplingly shitty it can be. I went through a phase like you described op, where I would act out for attention to compensate for my poor social skills. For me, this went on in high school. One day I walked in after summer break to start my junior year, and for some reason everything felt different. I had no interest in acting out whatsoever, nor did I have any interest in any sort of superficial relationship. I can't point to a single event that triggered this change, but ever since then I've really noticed my anxiety issues. I was in a long term relationship for most of high school, which didn't help matters because I always had a safe alternative to putting myself in social situations.
I've tried various things over the past eight years in an attempt to 'fix' myself, including SSRI medication, which I am just now weaning myself off of because fuck that. I've come to realize that the only real change for me is going to have to come from within. The sooner you stop pointing to external factors as a cause of your perceived problems and looking for some drug, some experience or some other thing to blame for or some other external factor to fix your problems for you, the sooner you will be able to change for the better.
The bottom line is that you have complete control over how you feel. Sure, everyone has a different set of experiences, and sure, everyone has different levels of chemicals and hormones in their systems, but you have the ability to decide how these things are going to shape you. Use your conscious mind to steer your subconscious. Use creative visualization too. See yourself being confident and you will become so. This helps me sometimes, and it will probably help you too.
If you have yourself convinced (as it sounds) that you have no control over your mental outlook.. well, then, you won't. As the above poster said, you ate the shrooms and you're not going to be able to change that. Focus on things that you can change.
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eckhem

Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 677
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Re: Obsessed about my shroom trip 4 years ago...PLEASE HELP [Re: cybercube]
#14487465 - 05/20/11 11:32 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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lsd makes you happy weed makes you slow coke makes you speedy x makes you jump dmt makes itself salvia makes you forget and shrooms make it darker...
you have to realize that this isn't about the shrooms or your life. you are taking one aspect of this life changing incident and learning nothing from it. i have experience enough to say with certainty that insecurity and anxiety havnt stemmed from this trip.. they have stemmed from beneath the trip.
do you intend to go around for all of your life questioning if your past decisions were worthy endeavors? there is nothing that can be done about the past unless you can forget it
and no one is innocent from their own mind
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Garfelt
Dragonslayer


Registered: 06/11/11
Posts: 103
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Re: Obsessed about my shroom trip 4 years ago...PLEASE HELP [Re: eckhem]
#14631452 - 06/18/11 12:51 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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If you do decide to trip again I would pick a really good friend to trip with, eat a low dose, and just enjoy the high and the slight visuals. You may be able to gain a more positive view on shrooms and ease yourself back into a higher dose and have a really good trip.
I started out this way and I have never had a really bad trip. I have had bad moments that were scary, but I can easily get back to feeling good. I think it's mostly because I think about all the good things that will most likely be happening during the trip on the come up to the trip. I'm always full of happy thoughts. And since I've had lots of good trips I think it makes it a lot easier.
I've also had days of feeling slightly depressed after a trip (even though it was mostly a good trip). I can't really explain it, but I just told myself that it would pass and tried not to worry about it and eventually the feeling went away. It did make me not want to do shrooms for a little while, which is good, I think.
Sorry for the long post, but to sum up, I'm basically saying that only you, in the long run, can determine how you feel. You can choose to be depressed, fearfull, happy, sad, etc. If you think happy thoughts and keep a happy attitude you will automatically start to feel better about yourself. It's the power of the human mind!
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horizbiz
Stranger
Registered: 02/26/12
Posts: 7
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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Re: Obsessed about my shroom trip 4 years ago...PLEASE HELP [Re: ataup]
#16193992 - 05/07/12 09:27 AM (11 years, 8 months ago) |
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The shrooms have taught you a lot from what I read.
1. Baseball is a game. Your life does not revolve around it and you shouldn't be crying if your team wins or loses. You should be crying when your lover leaves you, or something bad happens to a friend or when your child is born.
2. You realized you needed to socialize more and you did. It may not have been with the right people but you at least tried. And you have learned what people you want to have as friends from this experience.
3. It sounds like you have grown up a little and realized that there is a lot more to life than you thought and not all of it good. But you can at least see things clearly and decide what to do with your eyes open now.
Maybe you were happier watching the shadows on the wall but thats not available any more. Good luck with your enlightenment.
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JacksonMetaller
Stranger


Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Obsessed about my shroom trip 4 years ago...PLEASE HELP [Re: horizbiz]
#16194039 - 05/07/12 09:40 AM (11 years, 8 months ago) |
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a drug that makes sports fanatics and frat bros reconsider their existence... my god this is groundbreaking 
lol but for real im just kidding man. you're just maturing don't be so overanalytical about this. you're tired of goofing off because you realize people are liking you for the wrong reasons, you're toning down on sports because you're getting older and realizing it's just a game (not that i have anything against people who love sports), and the weed anxiety is normal. it was bound to happen with or without shrooms. weeds just like that. everyone enjoys it their first few times and then the more you do it you either really love it or really start to hate it. see that as a good thing. if you don't like weed, then so what... enjoy sobriety.
don't blame the shrooms though. surrounding yourself with superficial friends is completely natural when it comes with free beer and cheap sex
what's good is that you're now realizing these things and it's time for you to take them and use them to construct the person you truly want to be
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