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Anonymous #1

Stuck in the nest and loss of direction
    #14480318 - 05/19/11 06:49 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Just looking to get this off my chest and hear from people who are or have been in similar situations.

First, a bit about myself. I recently finished college and have a good job lined up for me, which I'll be starting in a couple of weeks. I went to a community college, stayed home with my folks and worked part time while going to school. This enabled me to get through school without taking out a loan or borrowing money. As a result, I have no student loan to pay back once I begin my new job. However, I feel like I paid a different kind of price for my decision. My entire social circle from high school (and even before) left town to go to various other schools (well, of my close friends, they mostly went to one of two schools). This didn't bother me at first because I was enjoying college, but eventually it really caught up to me. There wasn't much that interested me at the college in terms of social activities, and most of the people in my class weren't the types of people I would make good friends with. Of the few people I did actually enjoy being around, they all also lived with their parents and we were spread out pretty far which made evening hookups more or less impossible (not to mention work and other commitments the others had).

Anyways, so the lack of social contact gets to me. All of my friends have moved out and are going to school, making friends, and enjoying the freedom of having their own place. I'm at home, have lost all patience for my parents, and am really getting frustrated with all of this. The city I would like to move to is 5 hours away, but my job is here. My job is too good to pass up. I'm stuck in suburbia, although I could move into the city. The problem with moving into the city is that it's huge, expensive, and I have no friends there to help show me around/introduce me to places where I can make more friends. I really just want to go to the city 5 hours away because it's smaller (but still plenty big), nicer, and I already have close friends living there who can help show me the ropes. But my job is here. So I'm stuck where I am, and there's no point in moving out of your parents' house just to live in someone's basement apartment in the same suburb. Also, it doesn't help you make friends.

But, there's another problem here too. Where do I go from here? I'm at the stage which none of my friends have yet reached, which is a full time job with school being behind me for the time being. I don't really want to live at home, save up, and buy a house/apartment. Settling down before ever having gotten up is how I feel about that. I really want to travel, but I need something else in the mean time. For the first time, I'm not really sure what I'm working towards and I'm unhappy with a big aspect of my life but have no solution.

Ok, so three problems identified:

1. Lack of socialization with peers (or anyone for that matter, really)
2. Unhappy with living situation, there's more to it than I mentioned but basically I feel like I'm stuck here because moving out doesn't make sense economically and I don't want to live in the city I would go to anyway.
3. Loss of direction. I have a full time job. What does this mean for my future? What am I working towards if this is what I was working towards up to this point? More and more money? No, I need something more fulfilling.

Input is appreciated. I know it might seem like I'm chasing my friends and that I really need to go off and do my own thing. I apologize that I'm leaving this so open ended, but I'm really just looking for opinions and advice.


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