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Anonymous #1

Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: fbi365]
    #14452751 - 05/14/11 06:14 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Well I talked to him. He admitted to having feelings for me as well, but was very vague about how strong they are. He asked me if I needed to stop seeing him since he's moving away in a couple months (possibly even out of the state) to make it "easier" on me. I told him it would hurt just as much if we stopped seeing each other while he was still here and then he left. Either way it sucks. He's the first guy I've had real feelings for that have been reciprocated, in a long time, possibly ever. This sucks so much :frown:

Also, he said he had no idea that I felt that way about him.

Edited by Anonymous (05/14/11 06:15 PM)

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Offlinefbi365
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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14455830 - 05/15/11 11:45 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Good job talking to him.  I know that thing is not easy.

Yeah, it makes it difficult that he is leaving.  But do you see how just talking can clear up the situation?  You really have to decide what you want.  Do you want to make the best of your time together while it lasts?


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Anonymous #1

Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: fbi365]
    #14458338 - 05/15/11 07:15 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Nevermind... disregard that last post.. we talked again. He said it's not there for him like it is for me. He didn't really have feelings, he liked my company but he doesn't want anything more. He told me he thinks we should stop seeing each other.

I'm pretty devastated.

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Anonymous #5

Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14459091 - 05/15/11 09:03 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
We almost never jump straight to sex, we usually do something first (like watch a movie or just hang out and talk). So in that sense, it feels like something more.




Bullshit, it's just all apart of his plan.  No couple just only fucks and then the chick bounces.  The dude sucks her in with acting interested in her life to get her to come over at his command.  Trusttttttt me i'm a dude!

The reason your developing feelings is because your female, and you can't help it.  Sex will always result in you liking the guy because by having sex you are telling your unconscious mind that he is good enough to be a father of your child.  Guys on the other hand don't work this way 100% of the time like women.  Don't get me wrong guys can get like this too, but not all of them do.  Especially guys that fuck a bunch of different girls.  You on the other hand... it's just not possible to not have feelings.  Good luck, but don't try and convince yourself he likes you with rationalizing he is "interested in me for other things in sex"  IT'S ALL APART OF HIS PLAN.  GUYS DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK THEY ARE ONLY THERE FOR SEX.  THAT IS WHY WE TELL YOU "OMG ME TOO! I CAN RELATE"  or "I AM TOTALLY INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU DO AND ARE AS A HUMAN BEING"

He is using you unconscious female mind to get you to fuck at will.  It is working too right?

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Offlinefbi365
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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14463107 - 05/16/11 04:41 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Nevermind... disregard that last post.. we talked again. He said it's not there for him like it is for me. He didn't really have feelings, he liked my company but he doesn't want anything more. He told me he thinks we should stop seeing each other.

I'm pretty devastated.




That sucks.  I am sorry to hear this.  :confused:  Hang in there...


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Anonymous #1

Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: fbi365]
    #14463734 - 05/16/11 06:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Is there any guy (preferably) here that is willing to give me advice on one last bit? I don't feel like posting it here, so if you're willing to help me out just let me know and I"ll message you.

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Offlinefbi365
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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14463794 - 05/16/11 06:32 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

i will give you my honest opinion


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OfflineJoolz
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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: fbi365]
    #14465364 - 05/16/11 10:52 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I will too.


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Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.

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Anonymous #6

Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Joolz]
    #14466236 - 05/17/11 04:00 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

My honest opinion is that you created a lot of unnecessary drama in this guy's life, you're very immature and he's probably better off.

If you wanted this guy to be faithful to you, you should've demanded that from the start and walked away if he said no.

Letting it go on for God-knows-how-long and then pulling this crap was nothing but a dick move on your part.

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Anonymous #1

Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #14466859 - 05/17/11 08:26 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
My honest opinion is that you created a lot of unnecessary drama in this guy's life, you're very immature and he's probably better off.

If you wanted this guy to be faithful to you, you should've demanded that from the start and walked away if he said no.

Letting it go on for God-knows-how-long and then pulling this crap was nothing but a dick move on your part.




Lol wtf?

I didn't want an exclusive relationship with him from the start. I developed feelings down the line, I can't help that. I told him how I feel, he didn't feel quite the same so he thought we should stop seeing eachother.

How did I pull a dick move? Because I was honest and told him my feelings? Dumbass.

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Anonymous #3

delete [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14469190 - 05/17/11 06:08 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

delete

Edited by Anonymous (02/07/13 12:05 PM)

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Offlinefbi365
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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #14471524 - 05/18/11 02:28 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
My honest opinion is that you created a lot of unnecessary drama in this guy's life, you're very immature and he's probably better off.

If you wanted this guy to be faithful to you, you should've demanded that from the start and walked away if he said no.

Letting it go on for God-knows-how-long and then pulling this crap was nothing but a dick move on your part.




Yeah, man, WTF?


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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: fbi365]
    #14471533 - 05/18/11 02:30 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Hey fbi did you actually expect to have a fuck buddy and not get feelings?  Have you ever heard of a girl having a fuck buddy and not developing feelings for the guy?


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L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs

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Offlinefbi365
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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #14471565 - 05/18/11 02:42 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

These things have always been in-the-moment for me.  Everything is all good, until you look back, take stock of what's wrong with the situation, and realize, Fuck...  Friends just got a whole lot more complicated.  This is why what this jackass says up thread is so inflammatory to me. 

Yeah, I have had girls that were okay the whole way through with FWB.  I tend to be the one who "breaks the FWB rules" and gets feelings.  But, as I said before, I think developing feelings in these situations is the rule, rather than the exception.  So, whether you want it or expect it, you should know it will happen...


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Edited by fbi365 (05/18/11 02:44 AM)

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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: fbi365]
    #14471615 - 05/18/11 03:15 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

like i said before it will always happen to females, and often will happen for men but it's not an always like the females.


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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #14472691 - 05/18/11 11:14 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah, FWB is just sooooo close to the real thing that its easy to mistake.  Its not like NSA in that in FWB you do all of the things people in relationships do.  You have friendship, intimacy, and breakfast, its just not exclusive. 

FWB really is a tough one to get right.  I have two FWBs right now, one of whom is closer to a booty call because I never call her for anything else. lol  But we do hang out and have a good time first. 

The other is closer to OPs situation.  Friends for a long time, very complicated, a lot of feelings involved, I am hands down in love with her, she's kinda "meh" about it all.  Thats why I am so interested in this thread.  There has got to be a way to break the friends barrier....


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InvisibleTTT
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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #14474050 - 05/18/11 03:58 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Cognitive_Shift said:
like i said before it will always happen to females, and often will happen for men but it's not an always like the females.



I've never fallen for a guy I've had a fling with yet. I understand the reasons why I could begin developing attachments, and I learn to let go of them. They have no basis in logic. I tend to treat men like most men treat women in terms of sexual gratification. :shrug:

I approach men I have actual interests in completely differently than men I just want to have some fun for a few weeks with. Its all a matter of carefully assessing the pros and cons of one's personality, finding out what you could become attached to (as opposed to romanticizing traits that may have been misread or over-hyped by your smitten brain), what about them is a deal breaker in terms of long term companionship etc, etc. I can't see myself developing feelings for someone if I continue to approach it like that. I've been told that I am often more emotionally aloof in those situations.


Not all women are like how you say, Cog.

I am sorry you got hurt, OP. Just be more careful next time, but always be honest.:thumbup:

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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: TTT]
    #14474775 - 05/18/11 06:39 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

TTT said:
Not all women are like how you say, Cog.



Yeah maybe lesbians and hookers have the ability to not develop feelings for a fuck buddy.  I'm talking about your regular heterosexual female will develop feelings for their male fuck buddy 99.999% (safe to say 100%) of the time, anyone who tells you differently is lying... and if it's you you're lying to yourself.  I can go more in depth about if you want me too, i've taken a couple sex psych classes my first couple years of college.

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Anonymous #3

delete [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #14476365 - 05/19/11 12:25 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

delete

Edited by Anonymous (02/07/13 12:04 PM)

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InvisibleTTT
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Re: I broke the number 1 rule of a FWB situation... [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #14477867 - 05/19/11 10:38 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Cognitive_Shift said:
Quote:

TTT said:
Not all women are like how you say, Cog.



Yeah maybe lesbians and hookers have the ability to not develop feelings for a fuck buddy.  I'm talking about your regular heterosexual female will develop feelings for their male fuck buddy 99.999% (safe to say 100%) of the time, anyone who tells you differently is lying... and if it's you you're lying to yourself.  I can go more in depth about if you want me too, i've taken a couple sex psych classes my first couple years of college.



I am not fooling myself. I used to fool myself into thinking I genuinely liked guys (until I was around 15) when I was infatuated with desirable facets of their personality, while ignoring the big picture. That is fooling yourself.

Taking advantage of fleeting infatuation for on occasional fling is not at all. lol.

As someone who is schooled in Psych, you should know it always "depends", there is always variables.

I also don't pursue fuck buddies and I actually don't sleep with any guys I've had flings with because I often lose interest long before that can occur. They don't deserve to fuck me. :shrug: I view my flings as purely practice (sexually) and honing my trait identifying skills. I physically can't bring myself to want to have sex with most guys I meet or most guys I settle for flings with. Sex is for people I'm with. They deserve all of me, but I'll tease others with just a taste.

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