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 JT
 
Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 7,027
Loc: athens 
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
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 help me kill a possum 
#14475184 - 05/18/11 08:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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so for the past 2 weeks or so, this fucking possum has been coming into my house almost every night. he's fucking huge and smells like shit and he's eating my cat's food. i usually leave my sliding door open slightly because my cat goes batshit crazy and starts pissing on the carpet if i don't let him outside. however, when i do let him outside, he's usually gone for 3-4 hours and i have a life so i can't just wait there for him to come back.
i'd just shoot the stupid possum, but i live in a college town and have about 50 neighbors within 200 feet of my house, and i don't want the cops over here.
also, i can't poison him because if i put out any poisoned food, my cat's probably gonna get into it.
i think i'm gonna stay up tonight drinking gin and hit it with a baseball bat when he comes.
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2Cents
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 4,392
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 4 days, 13 hours
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: JT]
#14475189 - 05/18/11 08:12 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Let us know how that works out for u mate.
Drunk shroomerites vs giant angry possum... Should prove interesting.
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Long live the Shroomery!!!
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NewWavePeace
Incorporated
Registered: 07/20/10
Posts: 989
Loc: New Jersey
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: JT]
#14475194 - 05/18/11 08:13 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Hah, dude, a baseball bat? Seriously? A possum will fuck your shit up mannn.
Get a cage and put some food in it.. voila.
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See I'm at one with the waves, whereas my wifes breasts are at one with her knees.
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Deity208
Registered: 09/03/07
Posts: 1,763
Loc: 1,762
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: JT]
#14475197 - 05/18/11 08:13 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Get a trap.
Dont get rabies.
Win.
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It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus.
All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the
octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV.
But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns.
Also he got a race car.
Is any of this getting through to you?
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 Mad_Larkin
Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: JT]
#14475200 - 05/18/11 08:13 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Make a bow and arrow and have some fun hunting that mofucker.
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2Cents
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 4,392
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 4 days, 13 hours
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Quote:
NewWavePeace said:
Hah, dude, a baseball bat? Seriously? A possum will fuck your shit up mannn.
Get a cage and put some food in it.. voila.
Shut up, don't ruin this for the whole pub. Tomorrow he's Gunna be posting from the infirmary!!
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Long live the Shroomery!!!
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Equipto
Registered: 03/12/11
Posts: 1,280
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Quote:
NewWavePeace said:
Hah, dude, a baseball bat? Seriously? A possum will fuck your shit up mannn.
Bat that fucker into the ground. Also, we need pics.
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Toe_Jam
Bluefoot Bandit
Registered: 04/15/10 
Posts: 3,693
Loc: Around some corner...
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Possums are nasty, mean, disease ridden little bastards. They are blind as shit though, I have had one run within like 3 feet of me a couple times and not react until I made a noise. Just sit there real quiet till he gets into your cats food and whap him good on the head. make sure you get him though, he will fight. And he may be rabid 
Oh, and, PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
lol
As long as his face isn't too mashed up.
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God lay his finger at the Mouth of the Serpent March 1984    A pleasing land of drowsy head it was,
Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye,
And of gay castles in the clouds that pass,
For ever flushing round a summer sky. -Castle of Indolence
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JT
Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 7,027
Loc: athens
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
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i know. the baseball bad idea probably won't work. this thing is mean as hell, i'm worried it's gonna kill my cat too.
maybe a cage...but even if i got one, what would i do with it after i caught it?
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Toe_Jam
Bluefoot Bandit
Registered: 04/15/10
Posts: 3,693
Loc: Around some corner...
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: JT]
#14475227 - 05/18/11 08:19 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Call animal control, they will release it in a more proper place than a college town. That would be a better end for him than your baseball bat.
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God lay his finger at the Mouth of the Serpent March 1984 A pleasing land of drowsy head it was,
Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye,
And of gay castles in the clouds that pass,
For ever flushing round a summer sky. -Castle of Indolence
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NewWavePeace
Incorporated
Registered: 07/20/10
Posts: 989
Loc: New Jersey
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: JT]
#14475232 - 05/18/11 08:19 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
JT said:
i know. the baseball bad idea probably won't work. this thing is mean as hell, i'm worried it's gonna kill my cat too.
maybe a cage...but even if i got one, what would i do with it after i caught it?
I'll tell you what I would do..
I'd get a baseball bat and knock that motherfucker silly. 
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See I'm at one with the waves, whereas my wifes breasts are at one with her knees.
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2Cents
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 4,392
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 4 days, 13 hours
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: JT]
#14475234 - 05/18/11 08:20 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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No. Let go of any inclination that your original idea wasnt te best. Your a human being, where are you on the food chain? If your gunna change your plan any then it should be to forgo the bat and kill it with your bear hands.
You got this. Winning.
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Long live the Shroomery!!!
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: Deity208] 2
#14475245 - 05/18/11 08:21 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Deity208 said:
Get a trap.
Dont get rabies.
Win.
it's very unlikely that you'll ever encounter a rabid possum, not because
rabies is rare but because possums have too low a body temperature for the
virus to incubate
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Toe_Jam
Bluefoot Bandit
Registered: 04/15/10
Posts: 3,693
Loc: Around some corner...
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: 2Cents]
#14475247 - 05/18/11 08:21 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
2Cents said:
bear hands.
I didn't know you had Bear hands JT. Yeah just use that shit. Claws and all huh?
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God lay his finger at the Mouth of the Serpent March 1984 A pleasing land of drowsy head it was,
Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye,
And of gay castles in the clouds that pass,
For ever flushing round a summer sky. -Castle of Indolence
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JT
Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 7,027
Loc: athens
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: Toe_Jam]
#14475255 - 05/18/11 08:22 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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tiger hands actually
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RedSnapper
nuerosonic
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 3,107
Loc: Endless marshlands
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: 2Cents]
#14475257 - 05/18/11 08:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I hear they're delicious if you stew it just right.
Not speaking from experience tho..
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JT
Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 7,027
Loc: athens
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: Prisoner#1]
#14475259 - 05/18/11 08:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
Deity208 said:
Get a trap.
Dont get rabies.
Win.
it's very unlikely that you'll ever encounter a rabid possum, not because
rabies is rare but because possums have too low a body temperature for the
virus to incubate
that's actually really good to know, thanks
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: JT]
#14475263 - 05/18/11 08:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
JT said:
tiger hands actually
bi-winning!
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Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire
Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: JT]
#14475265 - 05/18/11 08:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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my grandma use to beat them with a shovel and then put them in a bucket of water with rocks on them, holding them under the water to ensure their death.
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RIP Acidic_Sloth
Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011
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2Cents
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 4,392
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 4 days, 13 hours
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Re: help me kill a possum [Re: Toe_Jam]
#14475266 - 05/18/11 08:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Lulz, yeah use dem bear hands!
(Sometimes I surprise even myself)
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Long live the Shroomery!!!
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