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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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"No one can change!"
#14461417 - 05/16/11 10:47 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Was talking with my dad the other day. Even though I am middle-aged, parents cannot seem to let go of being parents. He felt it necessary to address a weak area of my life. (Shocking, right?)
Then he continues with great anger, "You will never change! No one ever changes!" 
I counter PSP-style, "Well dad, if no one is capable of change and that is human nature, then whence comes all the anger at the way things are?"
(OK, so I didn't actually say 'whence'... )
*LONG SILENCE*
Me: "OK, I will call another time."
*CLICK - BZZZZZZ*
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Edited by OrgoneConclusion (05/16/11 10:59 AM)
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unam sanctum



Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 6,702
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Parents just don't get it man, and they never will.
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Cups
technically "here"


Registered: 12/24/09
Posts: 1,925
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I'm 30 and still not making the bed. 
Wow, that's first time I've ever seen my current age written down. Getting old.
Anyway, I think people can change...but it has to come from a deeper level than the conscious. Not many things can affect that level of being IMO.
-------------------- What's up everybody?!
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: Was talking with my dad the other day. Even though I am middle-aged, parents cannot seem to let go of being parents. He felt it necessary to address a weak area of my life. (Shocking, right?)
Then he continues with great anger, "You will never change! No one ever changes!" 
I counter PSP-style, "Well dad, if no one is capable of change and that is human nature, then whence comes all the anger at the way things are?"
(OK, so I didn't actually say 'whence'... )
*LONG SILENCE*
Me: "OK, I will call another time."
*CLICK - BZZZZZZ*
My mom killed a dog. Willingly.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Diploid
Cuban



Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
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Wait... parents can't change either so it's a wash, right?
-------------------- Republican Values: 1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you. 2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child. 3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer. 4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: "No one can change!" [Re: Diploid]
#14463727 - 05/16/11 06:21 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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My pops gave me a 'one shroom' rating.
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viktor
psychotechnician



Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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My Dad's ultimate argument for when we have fights is "You came out of my peener."
I think it's important to keep in mind that your parents see you as the vehicle for all their failed ambitions.
-------------------- "They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: My pops gave me a 'one shroom' rating. 
Tough Love.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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of course people can change, that's just silly. we're changing all the time.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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Mufungo
Coming at ya


Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 2,743
Loc: Knowhere
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Re: "No one can change!" [Re: g00ru]
#14465384 - 05/16/11 10:57 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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The issue wasn't whether a person can change or not. The OP was pointing out the contradiction between belief and behaviour, i.e. if you believe someone can't change, then why get upset when they don't.
But who knows whether Pops thought OC couldn't change or perhaps was attempting to get a polar response of "Yes I can change, Dad!" He probably wasn't expecting the response he got. I of course am just having a guess at people's intentions. But I'm never really surprised by the tactics people use to try and manipulate each other into doing things they want the other person to do.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: "No one can change!" [Re: Mufungo]
#14471679 - 05/18/11 03:45 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mufungo said: I of course am just having a guess at people's intentions. But I'm never really surprised by the tactics people use to try and manipulate each other into doing things they want the other person to do.
No doubt. I try to change people I have never met saying things I would never say in real life online. It opens up all kinds of possibilities that really don't exist.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Quote:
It opens up all kinds of possibilities that really don't exist.
I vote this for Quip of The Month.
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Ferdinando


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 3,664
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I thought this was real
-------------------- with our love with our love we could save the world
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder


Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 3 days
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Re: "No one can change!" [Re: viktor]
#14505371 - 05/24/11 04:36 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
viktor said: My Dad's ultimate argument for when we have fights is "You came out of my peener."
I think it's important to keep in mind that your parents see you as the vehicle for all their failed ambitions.
You nailed it. And OC's dad really means, "You'll never change into ME," so that he can die with the illusion (one of Ken Wilber's Atman Projects) that he has immortality in having cloned himself into his son. But OC probably isn't a reflection of his dad in his dad's eyes. So, like a lot of people, a child who just refuses to give up his own identity in order to insure the illusory continuation of a parent is just gonna be no good. In my case, I didn't reproduce myself, so no grandchildren for my late father - a further compounding of the illusion of personal immortality. Essentially, parents who rail against our failure do do their will are suffering from their own infantile God-playing. So, even if I have been an asset to society, not a detriment, I didn't meet my dad's expectations from the age of 13.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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In another conversation, he called me a 'selfish son of a bitch' because I failed to attend my grandmother's funeral years ago. I explained that we all do what we want. "I don't!" he responded. "Why not?" I asked. "Because sometimes we have obligations."
Summation, he is afraid what other people will think, so does what he thinks they want him to do to be accepted. I was selfish for not doing what he selfishly wanted me to do and playing an expected role.
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