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nemesis94
Stranger



Registered: 07/12/10
Posts: 40
Last seen: 8 months, 12 days
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Not Feeling Life
#14453566 - 05/14/11 09:14 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hows your night guys? This is just a thread to vent really but Im always up for discussion.
So Ive recently decided Im going to end it all by suicide. First things first though I AM NOT DEPRESSED. I just dont like existing. Some background info. Im pretty young but i feel Im pretty old mentally. My lifes been alright but as a kid Ive always felt alienated and isolated. I had some family troubles including suicidal and rebellious siblings and parents almost going through divorce but never anything comparable to how bad other peoples lives have been ya know?
On the alienated and isolated thing i used to get really depressed when i was a kid because of this. I felt like i was the only type of person like me in the world and i hated be so lonely all the time. I could surround myself with family and friends but always alone. Ive felt this in sad way until recently where now I just embrace and take pride in who/what I am/have. Im a very open minded person and am usually not biased against anything and I take a number of theories and ideas, that other people would just dismiss as retarded, seriously. I was thinking and came to the conclusion that I hate being alive. Its not that my life sucks or anything, its pretty great actually, but this experience isn't what i want. Its not like i ever asked for this. I also decided that before a set time that ive decided i will die prematurely by one way or another. I told one of the two only TRUE friends this and she didnt try to help me through it or anything she just got mad that i would do this and now she wont talk to me what ever i do. This put me in a really shitty mood and i just felt like sharing it.
Thx internet
-------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "It's just simply it's"
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1983
Stranger

Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 130
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: nemesis94]
#14453631 - 05/14/11 09:29 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
nemesis94 said: I also decided that before a set time that ive decided i will die prematurely by one way or another.
That's usually how it works.
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nemesis94
Stranger



Registered: 07/12/10
Posts: 40
Last seen: 8 months, 12 days
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: 1983]
#14453815 - 05/14/11 10:04 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
1983 said:
Quote:
nemesis94 said: I also decided that before a set time that ive decided i will die prematurely by one way or another.
That's usually how it works.
Nuh-uh. It usually works out people set out their life and then die prematurely. Not set a date when their going to kill themselves so they dont have have to deal with the rest of life. Silly
-------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "It's just simply it's"
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1983
Stranger

Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 130
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: nemesis94]
#14453948 - 05/14/11 10:39 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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oh
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DungeonMaster


Registered: 12/17/10
Posts: 436
Loc: TX, USA
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: 1983]
#14453997 - 05/14/11 10:53 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Yeah, I have the same mind-set as you do. I am patiently awaiting the day when death will come to me.
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xFrockx


Registered: 09/17/06
Posts: 10,455
Loc: Northeast
Last seen: 26 days, 22 hours
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: nemesis94]
#14454210 - 05/14/11 11:50 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'd laugh if you die before you can kill yourself. Plans still ruined, haha.
I've felt like killing myself, but I have no more reason to die than I have reason to live. I await death.
Edited by xFrockx (05/14/11 11:52 PM)
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auxiliary
Mr.



Registered: 05/03/09
Posts: 2,278
Loc: Thatoneville
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: xFrockx]
#14454393 - 05/15/11 12:41 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I retired when I was twelve. The way the world is, most everybody looks like they're constantly playing catch up, so I decided to slow down and see what happens when the left side of the screen gets here.
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Damkina
Newcomer



Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 328
Loc: Romania
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: auxiliary]
#14454450 - 05/15/11 12:56 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Indeed this world is not the best place to be. Yet it could be worse..Death is such a gift,but such a pain. I would tell you to wait for it to come itself,beacause it will. Patience my friend. Meanwhile,you could live your life without being trapped by the fact that you are mortal,and that is the ultimate freedom.
The fear of death and unknown lies at the base of your fears. If you can overcome that,then you are free. You should think about this,and one day,just go in a park,and sit on the bench.
Sit back and observe every thing.Every piece of grass,every tree,observe every human`s behaviour.Feel their fears and sense their feelings.How insecure they are,how fragile,always in a rush,yet going nowhere.
The grave is the only place that we(I being defined as the psyhical body and the ego),and you,the one that has understood that is the human that really starts living.
I say don`t rush,the life has yet to unfold,and you don`t know what will come.
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auxiliary
Mr.



Registered: 05/03/09
Posts: 2,278
Loc: Thatoneville
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: Damkina]
#14454459 - 05/15/11 01:00 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Damkina said: Death is such a gift,but such a pain.
I've heard rumors that it was painful...
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mushiepussy

Registered: 02/06/11
Posts: 1,198
Loc:
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: auxiliary]
#14454668 - 05/15/11 02:22 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I only want to live cause I want to know what this place is. Strings, other dimensions, dark stuff... to much left in the air to check out early IMO.
But hey, do what ya gotta do. If you have no interests, you might die of boredom anyways. Id suggest running away instead, it's always interesting. I sincerely hope your luck turns around though, life can suck pretty bad at times. Surfing helped me out of my hole, maybe saved my life. But I had to sell my surf board to pay the massive fines from my arrest, which I got for smoking pot in my truck after surfing. Life is truly not fair. fuckk
P.S. You are probably depressed lol Google the symptoms for me, then do what ya gotta do. Peace
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Cups
technically "here"


Registered: 12/24/09
Posts: 1,925
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Quote:
I told one of the two only TRUE friends this and she didn't try to help me through it or anything she just got mad that i would do this and now she wont talk to me what ever i do. This put me in a really shitty mood and i just felt like sharing it.
Sounds to me like you want someone to talk you out of it. Also why you're posting here.
This section of shroomery probably isn't the best for this kind of talk since it's filled with people who will tell you to have at it. (although they can't follow their own advice since they see to keep posting...)
I'd try the Physical and Mental Health section.
-------------------- What's up everybody?!
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xFrockx


Registered: 09/17/06
Posts: 10,455
Loc: Northeast
Last seen: 26 days, 22 hours
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"I only want to live cause I want to know what this place is. Strings, other dimensions, dark stuff... to much left in the air to check out early IMO. "
If you want to see what this place is, you already do.
Edited by xFrockx (05/15/11 04:34 AM)
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 9 days, 1 hour
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: Damkina]
#14459012 - 05/15/11 08:51 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Damkina said: Indeed this world is not the best place to be.
Actually, it probably is. Unless you'd prefer the atmosphere of Mercury?
Please don't kill yourself, OP. Life's not great but it's worth it.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Kickle
Wanderer



Registered: 12/16/06
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: nemesis94]
#14459497 - 05/15/11 10:17 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Some background info. Im pretty young but i feel Im pretty old mentally. My lifes been alright but as a kid Ive always felt alienated and isolated. I had some family troubles including suicidal and rebellious siblings and parents almost going through divorce but never anything comparable to how bad other peoples lives have been ya know?
Just some information from my own educational background and life experiences...
The sensation of being excessively matured or aged while in a young body is actually pretty common. Emotional strains in youth, particularly those strains that are somewhere between "severe" and "minimal", provide their own blend of unique effects on an individual. When emotional strains become severe, the options are simply to leave or to mentally escape. It's simply too much for an individual to attempt staying with or battling the trauma. When the strain is minimal, an individual is more likely to learn in step with the strain. As each strain presents itself, there is ample time to deal with the problems and make necessary adjustments in coping skills. And then there is the middle ground that is not at the severe end encouraging one to escape, but neither is it at the end that offers comfortable opportunities to develop healthy coping mechanisms. And so one is left trying to deal with problems that they are not ready to cope with, yet must attempt.
In short, the stress being presented is beyond the emotional maturity level, yet not so severe as to discourage problem solving all together. This often results in an a-typical maturation. One speeds forward in some respects but often misses out on aspects that are provided by time. This creates, IMO, the sensation you are describing. As though one is old before their time.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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auxiliary
Mr.



Registered: 05/03/09
Posts: 2,278
Loc: Thatoneville
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: Lion]
#14459503 - 05/15/11 10:19 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
Damkina said: Indeed this world is not the best place to be.
Actually, it probably is. Unless you'd prefer the atmosphere of Mercury?
Please don't kill yourself, OP. Life's not great but it's worth it. 
QFT
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Withinity
Untitled


Registered: 04/11/10
Posts: 1,357
Loc: Côte d’Ivoire
Last seen: 2 years, 2 days
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: auxiliary]
#14466260 - 05/17/11 04:23 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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If you are at that breaking point , what is stopping you from doing anything really?
You could quite possible turn all this shit around and have an above average positive life in the long run just from lessons learned in suffering
I know where your coming from such thoughts have infiltrated my mind also but remember their is a difference between being lonely and being alone a big difference and one that comes with choice
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Not Feeling Life [Re: Withinity]
#14466603 - 05/17/11 07:04 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Youth is wasted on the young. Those that can talk of death in terms of when haven't experienced the untimely death of those close to them. Otherwise they would cherish what time is left.
Period.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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m_m
Lysergic Dreams


Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 194
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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Do something that makes me you enjoy life. You have nothing to lose, just fucking do it. I dream of destroying my life to the point of rock bottom, just so I can rebuilt it and actually live for once.
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everyone's life ends but no one ever completes it
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 9 days, 1 hour
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said: Youth is wasted on the young. Those that can talk of death in terms of when haven't experienced the untimely death of those close to them. Otherwise they would cherish what time is left.
Period.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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SlashOZ
:D



Registered: 10/20/06
Posts: 3,557
Loc: Following the water cycle
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said: Youth is wasted on the young. Those that can talk of death in terms of when haven't experienced the untimely death of those close to them. Otherwise they would cherish what time is left.
Period.
QFT
If you are thinking of suicide because you don't like being alive you are severely mentally unstable. I suggest professional help and/or committing yourself until you realize how fucking stupid suicide is.
If you are unwilling to help yourself and unwilling to change your perspective and realize just how fucking amazingly sweet and kickass life is then you should kill yourself and stop bothering the rest of us.
Either way you'll end up finding out just how stupid this whole suicidal thing is.
c
-------------------- "Life sucks but in this really beautiful way" - Axl Rose "Life's a bitch and then you die that's why we get high cuz you never know when you're gonna go." - NAS "When people don't know what you're about they put you down and shut you out" - Black Sabbath "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" - Gandhi "Look up at me I am God, look down on me and I am evil, look at me I am you." - Charles Manson. "Don't question my reality." - Me (as far as I know)
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