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Satyapriya



Registered: 01/18/10
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What is your emotional age?
#14449731 - 05/14/11 06:01 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I don't know, is there more to this than just theory? I sometimes wonder if I am emotionally stunted, due to a traumatic childhood accident. But then again, I'm not sure I really know what that even means 
Sometimes I still feel like a kid, sometimes I feel like the adult that I am, but then other times I feel nothing. What does it mean to be emotionally stunted? Once emotional growth is stunted, what does it take to pick it back up again? How do you know when you are growing emotionally?
If one were to say, be emotionally stunted at age 12, are we sure that is such a bad thing? Why?
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joshisstoned
Motorcycle Enthusiast


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Re: What is your emotional age? [Re: Satyapriya] 1
#14449743 - 05/14/11 06:09 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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in adult life, it would be a less than optimal situation to be at the emotional level of a 12 year old. however, everyone has moments of immaturity and childishness. As long as you have the emotional fortitude to be mature when it counts (relationships, jobs, bills) ou'll be o.k I've heard doctors say that you can also stunt your emotional maturation by picking up regular substance use. Let's say i started smoking ganja at age 14 everyday. I, in theory, would have emotionally stopped maturing at 14 because i've abandoned all internal coping mechanisms and rely exclusively on a substance for emotional stability. just my 2 cents (sense?)... cheers!
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



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Re: What is your emotional age? [Re: Satyapriya]
#14449781 - 05/14/11 06:28 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I can't say that it would be useless to explore this idea but personally I think it would be impossible for someone to be so insightful and question their behavior as you do with the emotional stability of a 12 year old.
These ups and downs are part of life, as you say sometimes you are "adult" so obviosly some part of you has matured but you can't ignore the fact that you are the same person who was supposedly stunted at 12, all the same basic elements are there (edit- the brain and body are still developing, I know, but I was thinking more psycologically I guess). You cannot escape you past, only try to cope in the present.
Obviously drugs may take you on a different path than not doing drugs but it seems silly to me to try and relate it to some sort or theoretical emotional age.
Edited by moonrockmushy (05/14/11 06:31 AM)
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joshisstoned
Motorcycle Enthusiast


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Quote:
it seems silly to me to try and relate it to some sort or theoretical emotional age.
I initially thought the same thing. but, you can't deny the point that drugs or some other thing could be used as a coping mechanism rather than finding an internal emotional coping strategy. After years of using a drug or some other thing to cope with stress/anxiety/etc. you may not develop the emotional maturity that you would have posessed if not using the drug or other things to cope. it possibly diminishes your ability to develop the internal emotional coping system that a regular adult with "normal" maturity levels might posess. I find it to be slightly true... although I know i'm not emotionally immature as i was at 18... even 21.
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Satyapriya



Registered: 01/18/10
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Re: What is your emotional age? [Re: joshisstoned]
#14449962 - 05/14/11 07:54 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I think there are just a lot of grey areas with these questions. For instance, yes, its important to maintain a connection to your inner child/heart/soul, but it must be balanced equally with your ego/conditioned self/adult self. Otherwise it won't survive in the world. And to follow the endless pursuits of the ego runs the risk of leaving your soul behind, which IMO is the cause of most emotional immaturity amongst both men and women.
My belief is that balance is important because your inner child carries the will to live, and the ego carries the survival instincts. Its like yin and yang. One cannot exist without the other.
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Edited by Satyapriya (05/14/11 08:29 AM)
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


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Re: What is your emotional age? [Re: Satyapriya]
#14450923 - 05/14/11 12:03 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I think I'm 5 and 90 at the same time.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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zoomfan
doubt 'er


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Re: What is your emotional age? [Re: Lion]
#14450971 - 05/14/11 12:12 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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i think certain aspects of a "persons" personality can be stunted by prior events etc. i dont think age is a good way to determine a persons maturity level in general. maturity isnt even a good thing in certain aspects.
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Cups
technically "here"


Registered: 12/24/09
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Re: What is your emotional age? [Re: Lion]
#14451668 - 05/14/11 02:29 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lion said: I think I'm 5 and 90 at the same time.
+1
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dustinthewind13
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Re: What is your emotional age? [Re: Cups]
#14452053 - 05/14/11 03:54 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Cups said:
Quote:
Lion said: I think I'm 5 and 90 at the same time.
+1
That makes 3 of us , if were talking about the same I AM of course.
-------------------- "It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and forget his own." - Marcus Tullius Cicero "A room without books is like a body without a soul." - Marcus Tullius Cicero "Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it." -Thomas Jefferson
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



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Re: What is your emotional age? [Re: joshisstoned]
#14463711 - 05/16/11 06:19 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
joshisstoned said: I initially thought the same thing. but, you can't deny the point that drugs or some other thing could be used as a coping mechanism rather than finding an internal emotional coping strategy. After years of using a drug or some other thing to cope with stress/anxiety/etc. you may not develop the emotional maturity that you would have posessed if not using the drug or other things to cope. it possibly diminishes your ability to develop the internal emotional coping system that a regular adult with "normal" maturity levels might posess. I find it to be slightly true... although I know i'm not emotionally immature as i was at 18... even 21.
You are right, it is definitely true in some way, and perhaps I just don't want to admit it myself. I am going through the shit now since I have stopped abusing opiates, and I get lower and lower on buprenorphine. I have a very hard time coping with life off drugs for sure, and have been doing them since adolescence, so I guess I am a prime example.
I still think that the number is irrelevant, especially when you try to connect that number with stereotypes associated with a certain age. There are just too many variables in each person's situation. I dunno. Theres definitely something to what you're saying though.
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joshisstoned
Motorcycle Enthusiast


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true, age is a silly number. but, with regards to human psychosocial development... age is very important. More like zones of proximal development. the age itself is not as important as the maturity acquired or able to be acquired during certain times or zones in the human life cycle. maturity comes in phases during different zones of proximal development. I.E you should learn to talk between years 2-5, and you become more emotionally mature as an adult (in theory) between the ages of 21-26. just my brief synopsis of years of college psych classes.
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Orium
NEWB



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Re: What is your emotional age? [Re: joshisstoned]
#14467290 - 05/17/11 10:37 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Emotionally... I feel very old. I think that's what happens when one gets harassed and beat up regularly for who they are.
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