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OfflineMello KittyS
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Registered: 12/04/08
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Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
when you talk to people... * 2
    #14444570 - 05/13/11 09:58 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

where do you look?

this mite sound weird. but ive noticed now that im not so high, i almost dont know where to look at people when i talk to them without it being weird. maybe im just over thinking things lately but im almost uncomfortable with it. its impossible to look into both of their eyes. do you stare between the middle of their eyes? or into just one eye? its even harder if someone has lazy eye. i will look away before i let my eyes burn a hole into them.


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InvisibleBest In The World
Respect The Pipebomb
Male

Registered: 04/21/11
Posts: 1,835
Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14444583 - 05/13/11 10:01 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

What I do is look at them in the eyes for like 2-5 seconds, then switch off and look away from them, then repeat :laugh:

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InvisibleLobsterSauceDiscord
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Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 19,884
Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14444589 - 05/13/11 10:02 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I've had the same problem but I'm getting better with it.

I tend to look into one eye and when I've exhausted looking into that eye I look into the other or just switch it up often. I don't always look people in the eye though,most casual times with buddies I don't need to, it's not essential to communication, I'm more inclined to look new people in the eye as if you don't they more than likely think you're not too interested in what they have to say and all that.

Edit: Also this
Quote:

Changsta said:
What I do is look at them in the eyes for like 2-5 seconds, then switch off and look away from them, then repeat :laugh:





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Edited by LobsterSauce (05/13/11 10:03 AM)

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OfflineIdiot
I Am Moron!
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Registered: 11/27/05
Posts: 6,554
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14444613 - 05/13/11 10:06 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Depends on who your talking to.  If its someone you're comfortable with look them directly in the eye, doesn't matter which one, but not to intensely, that's weird.  If they're someone you aren't comfortable look at the arch of their nose.

But unlike the popular saying goes ("Look 'em in the eyes") you don't need to focus on their eyes, just look them in the face.  Functionally you don't even have to look at someone to hold a conversation, so the soul purpose of looking at someone why they're talking is to observe body language.  So if you're focusing on their eyes you're doing it wrong, focus on their presence and you should feel better in conversations.


--------------------

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OfflineAntiEverything
im not a doctor
Male


Registered: 07/07/06
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: LobsterSauce] * 1
    #14444614 - 05/13/11 10:07 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

i try to give sustained eye-contact with whomever i am communicating with

its always been of my opinion that communication without the eye contact is lacking a dimension


--------------------
You are at once
both
the quiet
and
the confusion
of my heart.
-Franz Kafka

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InvisibleMicawber
...............................
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: AntiEverything]
    #14444630 - 05/13/11 10:11 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

AntiEverything said:
i try to give sustained eye-contact with whomever i am communicating with

its always been of my opinion that communication without the eye contact is lacking a dimension



THIS
eye to eye
plus it creeps some peeps out


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(mik-kaw'-bur) n. one who is poor but lives in optimistic expectation of better fortune:nyan:

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OfflineMello KittyS
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Registered: 12/04/08
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Micawber]
    #14444641 - 05/13/11 10:14 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

when you look into someones knows its obvious your looking at their nose. is it obvious when you look into one eye, that your looking into one eye? i will have to test this

ok i tested it, yea its noticable... this is so weird


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Edited by ellenallien (05/13/11 10:15 AM)

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OfflineJiji
=D
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Registered: 05/09/11
Posts: 63
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: AntiEverything]
    #14444645 - 05/13/11 10:14 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I find it odd if someone I don't know that well keeps looking me in the eye unless it is something formal.
I look at peoples faces in general when I talk to them.
Or at whatever I'm talking about.
Also just look at different features of the person you're talking to.
Hair, eyes, nose, ears, mouth, clothes, jewellery, body.
I find it gets me what I want from social interactions.
But I am a little crafty.
Try drawing attention to yourself by smiling so nobody really notices where you're looking.


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I am Jack's smirking revenge! - Jack/Tyler Durden - Fight Club.

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OfflineBeanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14444648 - 05/13/11 10:15 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I barely look people in the eyes, once in a while i'll glance when they are speaking.

I sometimes feel uncomfortable when a person (I am attrected to) is talking to me... When i'm really high of weed (without caffeine) I also feel weird .

Usually I just admire someones face and body in whole though, i'm always observing. :blush:

Edited by Beanhead (05/13/11 10:16 AM)

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OfflineAntiEverything
im not a doctor
Male


Registered: 07/07/06
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Jiji]
    #14444657 - 05/13/11 10:16 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

some people find eye contact to be weird?

weird.


--------------------
You are at once
both
the quiet
and
the confusion
of my heart.
-Franz Kafka

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OfflineBeanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX
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Registered: 10/11/08
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Jiji]
    #14444662 - 05/13/11 10:16 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Jiji said:
I find it odd if someone I don't know that well keeps looking me in the eye unless it is something formal.
I look at peoples faces in general when I talk to them.
Or at whatever I'm talking about.
Also just look at different features of the person you're talking to.
Hair, eyes, nose, ears, mouth, clothes, jewellery, body.
I find it gets me what I want from social interactions.
But I am a little crafty.
Try drawing attention to yourself by smiling so nobody really notices where you're looking.




:thumbup:

Welcome to the Shroomery ! :hug:

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Offlinenice1
Not the droid your looking for
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14444670 - 05/13/11 10:18 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I was in the shop yesterday and the girl said "which cigarettes would you like?" 

So I said "none I don't smoke thank you"

and she said "oh sorry I thought you were looking at them"

It got me thinking...  I was really fucking high and I tend not to look at people in the eyes when I'm high - I think its cuz I needed to try and hide the red eye as a teen so I didn't get busted.

Usually I would look people in the eye and only look away occasionally as it means you are paying attention to what they say.  People usually like you to look them in the eyes when talking its respectful and attentive.  It doesn't matter if you only look into 1 eye though or in the middle lol - that would be such a tiny difference that I doubt somebody else could see it.

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OfflineJiji
=D
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Registered: 05/09/11
Posts: 63
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: nice1]
    #14444698 - 05/13/11 10:25 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Of course it's weird if somebody keeps looking into your eyes.
I don't trust people that do it too much.
What's behind my eyes is mine so keep away haha.

Oh and why thank you creepy beanhead! :p


--------------------
I am Jack's smirking revenge! - Jack/Tyler Durden - Fight Club.

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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14444705 - 05/13/11 10:26 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

yeah , i kind of have a similar problem with this. my eyes kind of dart around a bit sometimes. and i really dont like looking people in the eyes because i think its too confrontational or whatever. like i get a bit anxious around people i dont trust, and so i might have a bit of an intense look in my eyes, and i get paranoid thinking other people interpret that as aggression or hostility??! i dunno. im weird.

the worst is when my eyes accidently look at their mouth, cos that just makes shit so weird man. i hate it when that happens. :feelsweirdman:

one of the easiest things i find is to just not unfocus my eyes and look them in the face. and try not to move my eyes around or anything, and look away or something if i get too uncomfortable. :shrug:

It's something i really have to work on though. my social skills are not the best unfortunately. i used to be really great with people , but over time i kind of just tapered off and stop trying, and now i've lost alot of my social skills.i really need to build them back up again :/


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OfflineJiji
=D
Female

Registered: 05/09/11
Posts: 63
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14444735 - 05/13/11 10:32 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Wow! No-one should feel uncomfortable like that.
I suppose I find it hard to understand.
I've always been able to fit into any situation I wanted to.
It doesn't mean I never questioned what I should do.
But socializing shouldn't be something hard, it should be fun and healthy.
:smile:


--------------------
I am Jack's smirking revenge! - Jack/Tyler Durden - Fight Club.

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Offlinedruqs
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14444740 - 05/13/11 10:33 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

when i talk to a woman my eyes always seem to linger subconsciously titward for a fraction micro second before focusing on the ladys eyes, not sure if they notice...
:shrug:

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OfflineJiji
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: druqs]
    #14444760 - 05/13/11 10:37 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

druqs said:
when i talk to a woman my eyes always seem to linger subconsciously titward for a fraction micro second before focusing on the ladys eyes, not sure if they notice...
:shrug:




Oh they notice haha.
Unless you are particularly skilled.

I think I should teach socializing as a skill.
Haha but seriously confidence is key.
Fake it if you have to, when it works you will have confidence.
:smile:


--------------------
I am Jack's smirking revenge! - Jack/Tyler Durden - Fight Club.

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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male

Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Best In The World]
    #14444763 - 05/13/11 10:37 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Changsta said:
What I do is look at them in the eyes for like 2-5 seconds, then switch off and look away from them, then repeat :laugh:




--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:

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Invisibletiny_rabid_birds
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Posts: 15,653
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Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Jiji]
    #14444799 - 05/13/11 10:42 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Jiji said:
Quote:

druqs said:
when i talk to a woman my eyes always seem to linger subconsciously titward for a fraction micro second before focusing on the ladys eyes, not sure if they notice...
:shrug:




Oh they notice haha.
Unless you are particularly skilled.





that's funny.  because i don't think that i even notice every time i do it.  sometimes it just happens subconsciously and i'll be like "wait, did i seriously just glance there?"  i'm almost positive this has happened without me even catching myself.

luckily i don't come across as a creeper and women tend to rather like me.


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
Re: when you talk to people... [Re: Almond Flour]
    #14444806 - 05/13/11 10:43 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

At their genitals. Very intently. And when they move a bit awkwardly because they aware of being stared at inappropriately, I give the hint of a smile as if they made a funny movement down there, and continue staring. Move my head ever so slightly once in a while as if I'm trying to get a better angle.

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