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OfflineDr. Myco
The Grand Bat
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Registered: 06/06/10
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Loc: US Flag
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
picture yourself in...
    #14439369 - 05/12/11 09:55 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

your bedroom awoken from a peaceful sleep by someone breaking into your home. You confront the robber, he pulls a knife on you and you have no choice but to subdue him. You grab your favored weapon what is it and what do you do with it.

Mine is a flanged mace and as I grab it the robber gives a strange deer-in-headlights look right before the poor bastard gets cracked in the side.

This has always been a funny thought to me and just wanted a fun way to share it with the community, let the ideas run wild :cool:


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I don't use drugs to fill or fix a void in my life because they become a crutch, I use them to enhance what I already love. :mushroom2:

awesome new sig by 28064212



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Offlinedwtk
it all rolls into one
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Dr. Myco]
    #14439383 - 05/12/11 10:00 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

rubber gloves and LSD crystal.. point at robbers face and blow


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OfflineIma TrooperS
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Registered: 02/21/08
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: dwtk] * 1
    #14439391 - 05/12/11 10:04 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Ya'll make mine sound so cliche...:sad:

9mm Makarov pistol


--------------------
"Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping.

deCypher said:
Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.


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Offlineargg
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: dwtk] * 1
    #14439394 - 05/12/11 10:05 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I knock him out with a rubber fist then poop in my hand. I freeze the poop then when he wakes I stab him to death with frozen poop.


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OfflineDr. Myco
The Grand Bat
Male


Registered: 06/06/10
Posts: 210
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Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Ima Trooper]
    #14439406 - 05/12/11 10:08 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Ima Trooper said:
Ya'll make mine sound so cliche...:sad:

9mm Makarov pistol




Maybe but the poor guys above you is gonna keep getting robbed nobody's going to come back for a gun in the face


--------------------
I don't use drugs to fill or fix a void in my life because they become a crutch, I use them to enhance what I already love. :mushroom2:

awesome new sig by 28064212



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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Ima Trooper]
    #14439440 - 05/12/11 10:17 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Ima Trooper said:
9mm Makarov pistol





YAY Makarov.... I love mine


I prefer the .45, 2 in the chest, they're warning shots


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OfflineIma TrooperS
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #14439444 - 05/12/11 10:19 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah you don't come back from 2 .45's. Well, I'm sure some fucker has, but usually you don't.

So what are the warning rounds for lol


--------------------
"Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping.

deCypher said:
Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.


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InvisibleAlienscience
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Ima Trooper]
    #14439454 - 05/12/11 10:21 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I just say, "Dad, it's over.  Leave me alone."


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Offlinelimestoneman
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Alienscience]
    #14439473 - 05/12/11 10:27 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

A claw hammer. Oldboy style. I've had to use it before, it's pretty reliable.


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Ima Trooper]
    #14439475 - 05/12/11 10:27 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Ima Trooper said:
Yeah you don't come back from 2 .45's. Well, I'm sure some fucker has, but usually you don't.

So what are the warning rounds for lol





if they dont heed the warning shots in their chest I'ma put 2 more in their head to let them know I'm serious


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OfflineIdiot
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: argg]
    #14439736 - 05/12/11 11:30 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

argg said:
I knock him out with a rubber fist then poop in my hand. I freeze the poop then when he wakes I stab him to death with frozen poop.



So unprepared, I have a frozen pooshank in my freezer right now.


--------------------

Customize your Shroomery experience!
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


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Invisibles0nny
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Registered: 01/31/11
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Idiot]
    #14439742 - 05/12/11 11:32 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

glock 40. and i would unload that clip into his fucking face.


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let go or be dragged


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OfflineKada
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Idiot]
    #14439755 - 05/12/11 11:35 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I'm not sure if I would grab the baseball bat, the katana next to my dresser or the Springfield XD9 in my top drawer. If he only had a knife I would grab the katana and say, "That's not a knife, THIS is a knife!"

Most likely I would grab the 9mm as well. Why not use both? Mwhahaha

Either way I would kill him. I'm all about peace and not hurting others, but if you break in the home my wife and kids are sleeping in... Your a dead mother fucker.


--------------------
~The Cultivators Motherload~

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them.
I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama

Live long and prosper.



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Invisibles0nny
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Registered: 01/31/11
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Kada]
    #14439760 - 05/12/11 11:36 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Kada said:
Either way I would kill him. I'm all about peace and not hurting others, but if you break in the home my wife and kids are sleeping in... Your a dead mother fucker.



very well put.


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let go or be dragged


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Offlinedshow
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: s0nny]
    #14439763 - 05/12/11 11:38 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

If i did subdue him, and no one else was in my house. Id rape him.


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Kada]
    #14439773 - 05/12/11 11:41 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Hmmm.

House robber has a knife on you, you have a .45.

The robber will kill you 10 times before you shoot him

Guns are the worse close range weapon ever...

Knives on the other hand cuts veins instead of perforating and never runs out of bullets.

I would go for a knife or a bat before I grab a gun.


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Invisible4runner
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: dwtk]
    #14439782 - 05/12/11 11:43 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Well it depends, if they come in through the front they will probably have some .45 rounds in em. If they come through the back they are going to have some .00 buck in em. Wait, actually I have some other rounds in the shotgun right now, slug and buck combo. Gotta throw the .00 back in.




Quote:

dwtk said:
rubber gloves and LSD crystal.. point at robbers face and blow




Where you live, I think I have a window to break.


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Invisibles0nny
a poinsettia in poison rain
Registered: 01/31/11
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Patlal]
    #14439783 - 05/12/11 11:43 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

im pretty confident in my firearm handling skills.


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let go or be dragged


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OfflineKada
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Patlal]
    #14439813 - 05/12/11 11:49 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Hmmm.

House robber has a knife on you, you have a .45.

The robber will kill you 10 times before you shoot him

Guns are the worse close range weapon ever...

Knives on the other hand cuts veins instead of perforating and never runs out of bullets.

I would go for a knife or a bat before I grab a gun.



Are you serious? LOL I don't competitive shoot in quick draw competitions for some tool with a knife to even get near me.

I didn't learn how to handle a firearm in the Marines to get taken out with a knife either.


--------------------
~The Cultivators Motherload~

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them.
I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama

Live long and prosper.



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Offlineorison
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Kada] * 1
    #14439837 - 05/12/11 11:55 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Spray your attacker with TCE, While they are flaying around blind cause TCE burns like a SOB in your eyes. Soak a bathtowel with TCE/ blanket party the attacker by throwing the towel over their head. They will now inhale TCE and pass out, you can help them some with a bear hug.. After subdued take attacker tie to chair. Repeat TCE while they wake up now and them.. drive them to the middle of nowhere and tie them to a treem near ant hill..  strip off their clothes. smear honey on them..

sit back and tape it for youtube.. :omgawesome:


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Kada]
    #14439846 - 05/12/11 11:56 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Kada said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Hmmm.

House robber has a knife on you, you have a .45.

The robber will kill you 10 times before you shoot him

Guns are the worse close range weapon ever...

Knives on the other hand cuts veins instead of perforating and never runs out of bullets.

I would go for a knife or a bat before I grab a gun.



Are you serious? LOL I don't competitive shoot in quick draw competitions for some tool with a knife to even get near me.

I didn't learn how to handle a firearm in the Marines to get taken out with a knife either.




Lets assume that most people dont have a Marines training...


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InvisibleLobsterSauceDiscord
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Patlal]
    #14439930 - 05/12/11 12:20 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Have a hurley and a cricket bat by my bed.


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OfflineKada
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Patlal]
    #14440700 - 05/12/11 03:39 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Anyone can train themselves to be safe, quick and accurate givin time and enough ammo. Practice makes you better! Train yourself! Go join a gun club and get involved!


--------------------
~The Cultivators Motherload~

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them.
I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama

Live long and prosper.



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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Registered: 01/22/03
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Patlal]
    #14440713 - 05/12/11 03:45 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Hmmm.

House robber has a knife on you, you have a .45.

The robber will kill you 10 times before you shoot him

Guns are the worse close range weapon ever...

Knives on the other hand cuts veins instead of perforating and never runs out of bullets.

I would go for a knife or a bat before I grab a gun.





this truly is the dumbest statement I've ever read


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OfflineKada
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #14440726 - 05/12/11 03:47 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I didn't want to get banned so I let you tell him that respectively.


--------------------
~The Cultivators Motherload~

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them.
I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama

Live long and prosper.



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Invisibleifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO Flag
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Patlal]
    #14440728 - 05/12/11 03:47 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

Kada said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Hmmm.

House robber has a knife on you, you have a .45.

The robber will kill you 10 times before you shoot him

Guns are the worse close range weapon ever...

Knives on the other hand cuts veins instead of perforating and never runs out of bullets.

I would go for a knife or a bat before I grab a gun.



Are you serious? LOL I don't competitive shoot in quick draw competitions for some tool with a knife to even get near me.

I didn't learn how to handle a firearm in the Marines to get taken out with a knife either.




Lets assume that most people dont have a Marines training...




Doesn't it make more sense to assume that someone who buys a gun for home defense would go to the firing range and practice with it?

BTW, any time you want to fight gun vs. knife, I'll take the gun side any day. :lol:


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OfflineKada
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: ifoundwaldo]
    #14440743 - 05/12/11 03:52 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

You would think so right? I bet only 1/4 of gun owners out the have any sort of formal training. I know a few people with hand guns that don't have any training other that shooting at a few cans in their back yard. Dangerous bastards. Not the good kind of dangerous either.


--------------------
~The Cultivators Motherload~

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them.
I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama

Live long and prosper.



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Offlineigwna
The Cap'n
Male

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 8,016
Loc: New England, USA
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Dr. Myco]
    #14440839 - 05/12/11 04:15 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

and yeah, all i have available right now is... 2 machetes, a bayonet and a handful of knives. but luckily i'll have a pistol pretty soon, in which case yeah... i'd just kneecap him and call the cops. or let him run, maybe. depends how generous i'm feeling :shrug:


Quote:

limestoneman said:
A claw hammer. Oldboy style. I've had to use it before, it's pretty reliable.




i never would of believed this if i hadnt seen your bedroom in that one thread..


--------------------
I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.



Edited by igwna (05/12/11 04:16 PM)


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InvisibleSpiritualSnorkel
Registered: 06/18/06
Posts: 1,545
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: igwna]
    #14440864 - 05/12/11 04:21 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Not a wild idea but a classic one.



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OfflineYacub
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Dr. Myco]
    #14441078 - 05/12/11 05:11 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I keep a snub nose .357 between my mattress and box spring just for that occasion. And if they're noisy enough to give me a few seconds more warning I have a 12 Ga pump under the bed.


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OfflineNewbieS
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Dr. Myco]
    #14441084 - 05/12/11 05:12 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Louisville Slugger to the dome piece.


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Invisibleblewmeanie
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Newbie]
    #14441137 - 05/12/11 05:22 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I sold the last of my pistols last year, so it would probably be the hatchet in my closet. That, or I'd just toss on of my roommates children out as a bribe/distraction.


--------------------
The Prophecy!

Learn To Code


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OfflineIma TrooperS
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Patlal]
    #14441301 - 05/12/11 05:59 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

Kada said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Hmmm.

House robber has a knife on you, you have a .45.

The robber will kill you 10 times before you shoot him

Guns are the worse close range weapon ever...

Knives on the other hand cuts veins instead of perforating and never runs out of bullets.

I would go for a knife or a bat before I grab a gun.



Are you serious? LOL I don't competitive shoot in quick draw competitions for some tool with a knife to even get near me.

I didn't learn how to handle a firearm in the Marines to get taken out with a knife either.




Lets assume that most people dont have a Marines training...




If we're assuming things, lets also assume that most people with a pistol close by know how to shoot.

EDIT: Should have read the whole thread...thats already been pointed out lol


--------------------
"Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping.

deCypher said:
Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.


Edited by Ima Trooper (05/12/11 06:00 PM)


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InvisibleThe Whale

Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc: Flag
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Ima Trooper]
    #14441305 - 05/12/11 06:00 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

What if this guy was the robber?

"Seneca, South Carolina (The Weekly Vice) - Noah Smith, a 31-year-old South Carolina man was jailed Monday after he was allegedly found naked in a stranger's home with a mouse tail protruding out of his anus."

http://www.theweeklyvice.com/2010/11/noah-smith-jailed-after-burglarizing.html


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OfflineIma TrooperS
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Kada]
    #14441310 - 05/12/11 06:02 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Kada said:
You would think so right? I bet only 1/4 of gun owners out the have any sort of formal training. I know a few people with hand guns that don't have any training other that shooting at a few cans in their back yard. Dangerous bastards. Not the good kind of dangerous either.




I don't have Marine training, but I have been the firing range many times and shot a lot of cans/bottles. Also had safety training for my C&C. :lol:


--------------------
"Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping.

deCypher said:
Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.


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OfflineIma TrooperS
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: The Whale]
    #14441316 - 05/12/11 06:02 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

The Whale said:
What if this guy was the robber?

"Seneca, South Carolina (The Weekly Vice) - Noah Smith, a 31-year-old South Carolina man was jailed Monday after he was allegedly found naked in a stranger's home with a mouse tail protruding out of his anus."

http://www.theweeklyvice.com/2010/11/noah-smith-jailed-after-burglarizing.html




He'd be embarrassing dead then lol


--------------------
"Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping.

deCypher said:
Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.


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OfflineBrugman
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Dr. Myco]
    #14441326 - 05/12/11 06:05 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Man Americans are scary.

I'd use my katana hahah


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InvisibleSpiritualSnorkel
Registered: 06/18/06
Posts: 1,545
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Brugman]
    #14441362 - 05/12/11 06:14 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Brugman said:
Man Americans are scary.

I'd use my katana hahah






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OfflineNewbieS
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: SpiritualSnorkel]
    #14441376 - 05/12/11 06:16 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I saw this pic on 4chan with a caption that said something like, "Yeah, go ahead...laugh.  But this man landed himself a good enough job to support his hobby and he obviously has his shit together."


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Offlinepropensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #14441390 - 05/12/11 06:19 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Hmmm.

House robber has a knife on you, you have a .45.

The robber will kill you 10 times before you shoot him

Guns are the worse close range weapon ever...

Knives on the other hand cuts veins instead of perforating and never runs out of bullets.

I would go for a knife or a bat before I grab a gun.





this truly is the dumbest statement I've ever read




Yeah wtf?


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OfflineNewbieS
User of semicolons.
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,710
Loc: SoCal Flag
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: propensity]
    #14441412 - 05/12/11 06:25 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah really...

People forget that bullets have force.  It's not just a clean penetration through flesh.  I read a report of a woman who was shot in the head and survived.  She said it felt like someone took a hammer and hit her as hard as he could with it.  He comes swinging at you with a knife, you pop him once in the head, once in the chest, and some in the knees for good measure, he's not going to pursue the attack any further.


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InvisibleThe Whale

Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc: Flag
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Newbie]
    #14441426 - 05/12/11 06:28 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

My relative had to shoot herself 3 times before she died. Don't trust bullets, trust bullet placement. :thumbup:


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Invisibles0nny
a poinsettia in poison rain

Registered: 01/31/11
Posts: 2,246
Loc: Always Missing
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: The Whale]
    #14441435 - 05/12/11 06:30 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

The Whale said:
Don't trust bullets, trust bullet placement. :thumbup:



:thumbup:


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InvisibleSpiritualSnorkel
Registered: 06/18/06
Posts: 1,545
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: propensity]
    #14441466 - 05/12/11 06:35 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

propensity said:
Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Hmmm.

House robber has a knife on you, you have a .45.

The robber will kill you 10 times before you shoot him

Guns are the worse close range weapon ever...

Knives on the other hand cuts veins instead of perforating and never runs out of bullets.

I would go for a knife or a bat before I grab a gun.





this truly is the dumbest statement I've ever read




Yeah wtf?




He took the "21 Foot Rule" and over it, grafted his own shit logic.

I still have no idea why he would choose a bat or any blunt object which requires momentum (space) to use effectively in the apparently very closed quarters he's talking about.  :inbred:.


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InvisibleSpiritualSnorkel
Registered: 06/18/06
Posts: 1,545
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: The Whale]
    #14441485 - 05/12/11 06:37 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

The Whale said:
My relative had to shoot herself 3 times before she died. Don't trust bullets, trust bullet placement. :thumbup:




Thats a good rule of thumb, but there are many people who take bullets in the head, neck, and everywhere else, and survive.

The more general rule would be:

Don't trust bullets, bullet placement, anyone or anything. :paranoid:


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Dr. Myco]
    #14441764 - 05/12/11 07:33 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Pfft! Yeah, like I got something worth stealing.


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Offlinedshow
Nomad
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Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Le_Canard]
    #14443376 - 05/13/11 01:09 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

as long as it doesnt hit your medulla omblingata (neck) and your hypothalmus (center brain) you might possibly live.....


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Offlinedshow
Nomad
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Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
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Re: picture yourself in... [Re: dshow]
    #14443380 - 05/13/11 01:11 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I think patlal got his feelings hurt... ey?



Where does he live.. .. now that i know he will use a knife vs my gun....


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InvisibleNewlord
The Evil White Man


Registered: 05/12/11
Posts: 720
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Dr. Myco]
    #14443400 - 05/13/11 01:20 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Dr. Myco said:
your bedroom awoken from a peaceful sleep by someone breaking into your home. You confront the robber, he pulls a knife on you and you have no choice but to subdue him. You grab your favored weapon what is it and what do you do with it.

Mine is a flanged mace and as I grab it the robber gives a strange deer-in-headlights look right before the poor bastard gets cracked in the side.

This has always been a funny thought to me and just wanted a fun way to share it with the community, let the ideas run wild :cool:






I get my Benelli M2 and unload on the sorry C-sucker that breaks into my home.


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OfflineHedberg
comedian
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Registered: 04/26/05
Posts: 62
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Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: picture yourself in... [Re: Newlord]
    #14443430 - 05/13/11 01:30 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

aluminum baSeball bat


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