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OfflineSatyapriya
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Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 1,147
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Wash your hands before you masturbate...
    #14417976 - 05/08/11 02:44 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

you could get an infection.  I found out the hard way this week :sad:


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www.collectivelyconscious.net - Hive mind for the awakened. ॐ Collectively Conscious ॐ is a community-powered, community-verified, alternative news/multimedia aggregation service for global citizens.


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InvisibleDoc_T
Random Dude
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado Flag
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14417983 - 05/08/11 02:45 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Feels bad, man. Details?


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You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?


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OfflineSatyapriya
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 1,147
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Doc_T]
    #14418003 - 05/08/11 02:49 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Well I was masturbating to sweaty mexican strap on lesbians 3 nights in a row and overdid it I guess, now I have itchy slimy red areas on my shaft.

Did you really want details?


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www.collectivelyconscious.net - Hive mind for the awakened. ॐ Collectively Conscious ॐ is a community-powered, community-verified, alternative news/multimedia aggregation service for global citizens.


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Invisiblelucas_southoz
Adelaidian
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 1,196
Loc: Flag
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14418013 - 05/08/11 02:51 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

:awewtf:


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya] * 2
    #14418016 - 05/08/11 02:52 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

jesus. you created your own std. i dont know whether you should be proud or ashamed.

:whatwhat:


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Invisiblecacharstar
Strange is good...
Male

Registered: 11/13/08
Posts: 4,014
Loc: The West Coast
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14418018 - 05/08/11 02:54 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

use lotion next time.  rub-burns fur rookies.


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:irishtoast:


Edited by cacharstar (05/08/11 02:55 AM)


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Offlineeris
underground
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/17/98
Posts: 48,024
Loc: North East, USA
Last seen: 4 months, 19 days
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14418037 - 05/08/11 03:01 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

My worst jacking off experience came when I was like 12 or 13. I used some kind of shampoo product. My wang got all swollen up and red for like a week. It looked like a big fat club, but hurt like hell!


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Immortal / Temporarily Retired
The OG Thread Killer
My mushroom hunting gallery


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OfflineVsnares.Zappa
bend over

Registered: 05/04/11
Posts: 3,153
Last seen: 3 months, 17 days
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya] * 2
    #14418057 - 05/08/11 03:09 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shrooomtastic said:
you could get an infection.  I found out the hard way this week :sad:





:studmuffin: :penis: Hygiene 1 - Shroomstastic 0


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InvisibleAlienscience
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1,258
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Vsnares.Zappa]
    #14418111 - 05/08/11 03:36 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I love some of the stuff that pops up on the shroomery.


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OfflineNatorade
LsDmThC
Male

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 1,568
Loc: WI Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Alienscience]
    #14418115 - 05/08/11 03:38 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

im about to masturbate with unwashed hands




wish me luck


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Offlineeris
underground
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Registered: 11/17/98
Posts: 48,024
Loc: North East, USA
Last seen: 4 months, 19 days
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Natorade]
    #14418119 - 05/08/11 03:39 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Wouldn't be a first for a lot of us.


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Immortal / Temporarily Retired
The OG Thread Killer
My mushroom hunting gallery


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InvisiblePoid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir
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Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area Flag
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Natorade]
    #14418122 - 05/08/11 03:39 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Vsnares.Zappa said:
Quote:

Shrooomtastic said:
you could get an infection.  I found out the hard way this week :sad:





:studmuffin: :penis: Hygiene 1 - Shroomstastic 0


:lol:


Quote:

Natorade said:
im about to masturbate with unwashed hands




wish me luck


Safe fapping! :cheers:


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Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.


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Offline13.step
cynical bastard
Male


Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Poid]
    #14418158 - 05/08/11 04:00 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

LOL@circumcision...:rofl:


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Not to be taken seriously by any means!


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InvisibleBridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.
Male


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Alienscience]
    #14418207 - 05/08/11 04:49 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Alienscience said:
I hate some of the stuff that pops up on the shroomery.




fixed


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Offlinemongo lloyd
Lone Free Ranger
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 9,351
Loc: UK Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 12 hours
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #14418209 - 05/08/11 04:53 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

:awedisgust:


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InvisibleMisterMuscaria
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc: Flag
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14418214 - 05/08/11 04:55 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I use a sock.

:themoreyouknow:

but maybe If i use dirty socks it will cause a problem.

Quote:

eris said:
My worst jacking off experience came when I was like 12 or 13. I used some kind of shampoo product. My wang got all swollen up and red for like a week. It looked like a big fat club, but hurt like hell!



When I was younger i used some head and shoulders refresh or something that had a cooling sensation...big mistake.


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OfflineMello KittyS
Beautiful Burnout
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: MisterMuscaria]
    #14418255 - 05/08/11 05:16 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

always wash before... but not after :thumbup: :lol: :themoreyouknow:


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OfflineMaurer


Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 5,203
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Mello Kitty] * 5
    #14418256 - 05/08/11 05:18 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I think a bunch of people are going to give you 5 shrooms for that. Just kidding they already did since you're a girl.


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OfflineMello KittyS
Beautiful Burnout
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Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Maurer]
    #14418260 - 05/08/11 05:19 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

:boobs: :finger:


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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*
Other


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan Flag
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Maurer]
    #14418264 - 05/08/11 05:23 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Maurer said:
I think a bunch of people are going to give you 5 shrooms for that. Just kidding they already did since you're a girl.




:lolsy: I would give you 5 shrooms if I.... awww I made myself feel sad :aweman:


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: MisterMuscaria]
    #14418268 - 05/08/11 05:26 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i just had a great idea! fap using a sock of someones who has athletes foot. This will then give you athletes penis. That sounds pretty rad. :yesnod:


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OfflineMello KittyS
Beautiful Burnout
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Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14418272 - 05/08/11 05:28 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
athletes penis




:rofl:


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InvisibleMisterMuscaria
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc: Flag
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14418273 - 05/08/11 05:28 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I use my own socks. Using someone else's sock would feel wrong...unless it was a really hot girl. In which case I might use her sock.


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OfflineMello KittyS
Beautiful Burnout
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Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
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Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: MisterMuscaria]
    #14418276 - 05/08/11 05:30 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

does wearing silk underwear work for boys? i guess thats why silk is Haraam in Islam :lol:


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OfflineMaurer


Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 5,203
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14418277 - 05/08/11 05:30 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ellenallien said:
:boobs: :finger:


Well I'm not sure what this means so thank you?


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InvisibleMisterMuscaria
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc: Flag
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14418280 - 05/08/11 05:31 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

My mom told me that my uncle always wore silk underwear for camping.

Personally I dont wear any underwear because it gives me jock itch and I dont get enough air.


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14418282 - 05/08/11 05:32 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

yeah its great, i love my silk boxers shorts. it's all i wear for underwear.


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OfflineVsnares.Zappa
bend over


Registered: 05/04/11
Posts: 3,153
Last seen: 3 months, 17 days
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14418298 - 05/08/11 05:39 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
i just had a great idea! fap using a sock of someones who has athletes foot. This will then give you athletes penis. That sounds pretty rad. :yesnod:




:billymayshead:


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InvisibleMad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: cacharstar]
    #14418427 - 05/08/11 06:54 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

cacharstar said:
use lotion next time.  rub-burns fur rookies.




No need. Having a foreskin is


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InvisibleToMP
Awesome Wanker
Male

Registered: 04/29/10
Posts: 106
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Mad_Larkin]
    #14418488 - 05/08/11 07:25 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I used a suspect sock once - got some sort of fungal problem with my dick:



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OfflineMello KittyS
Beautiful Burnout
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Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: ToMP]
    #14418512 - 05/08/11 07:41 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

:rofl:

:hellokitty:


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OfflineMello KittyS
Beautiful Burnout
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Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14418519 - 05/08/11 07:44 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

was it white & sticky?



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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14418535 - 05/08/11 07:53 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

base speed paste

tartare source

white paint

caucasians in humid climates

clag glue

semen

mayonaise


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OfflineMello KittyS
Beautiful Burnout
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14418581 - 05/08/11 08:29 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
caucasians in humid climates




:ilold:


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14418585 - 05/08/11 08:30 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

lol I actually misread your post, i thought you said " what is white and sticky " as a joke or something. Please excuse my brain dammage.


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OfflineYacub
Psychedelic Redneck
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/05/09
Posts: 989
Loc: NOLA Flag
Last seen: 10 years, 2 days
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14418692 - 05/08/11 09:23 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Be sure to wash your hands before taking a leak to, there's nothing like pissing after chopping some chili peppers. :firecum:


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OfflineVsnares.Zappa
bend over


Registered: 05/04/11
Posts: 3,153
Last seen: 3 months, 17 days
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya] * 2
    #14420692 - 05/08/11 05:42 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shrooomtastic said:
you could get an infection.  I found out the hard way this week :sad:



You Fapped too much !!!!




Edited by Vsnares.Zappa (05/09/11 01:13 AM)


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Vsnares.Zappa]
    #14422594 - 05/08/11 11:37 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????????????

:omfg:


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InvisibleSalomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ
Male
Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH Flag
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14422639 - 05/08/11 11:45 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

:electrickoolaid:


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EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT



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OfflineAnthony917
why dont we do it in the road
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 3,243
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Salomon]
    #14422851 - 05/09/11 01:04 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

yea what the FUCK IS THAT?!

jesus christ at least spoiler it


--------------------
Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...


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OfflineVsnares.Zappa
bend over


Registered: 05/04/11
Posts: 3,153
Last seen: 3 months, 17 days
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Anthony917]
    #14422874 - 05/09/11 01:14 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anthony917 said:
yea what the FUCK IS THAT?!

jesus christ at least spoiler it




it's even funnier :borat:


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Offlinelearningtofly
Ancient Aliens
Male


Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Vsnares.Zappa]
    #14423004 - 05/09/11 02:29 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

you guys are so dirty, I wash my hands at least a dozen times a day


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OfflineAnthony917
why dont we do it in the road
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 3,243
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: learningtofly]
    #14423008 - 05/09/11 02:30 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

learningtofly said:
you guys are so dirty, I wash my hands at least a dozen times a day






--------------------
Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...


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Offlinelearningtofly
Ancient Aliens
Male


Registered: 05/21/07
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Anthony917]
    #14423031 - 05/09/11 02:38 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I'll take that as a compliment


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InvisibleBlimeyGrimey
Collector of Spores
Male


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/24/05
Posts: 3,788
Loc: Puget Sound
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: learningtofly] * 1
    #14423089 - 05/09/11 03:27 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Masturbation Tips:



--------------------
Message me for free microscopy services on Psilocybe, Panaeolus, and Gymnopilus species.

Looking for wild Panaeolus cinctulus and Panaeolus olivaceus prints.


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OfflineAnthony917
why dont we do it in the road
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 3,243
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: BlimeyGrimey]
    #14423092 - 05/09/11 03:28 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

:thumbup:

im pissed i had to watch an ad before the fucking video started though :crankynoweed:


--------------------
Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...


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InvisibleToMP
Awesome Wanker
Male

Registered: 04/29/10
Posts: 106
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Anthony917]
    #14423477 - 05/09/11 07:44 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

These days I find it hard to masturbate,
My hands get pricked...



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OfflineKada
Asha'man
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Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 12,394
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: ToMP]
    #14423495 - 05/09/11 07:51 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I wash my hands about 60 times a day I counted. I'm a freak, but a clean one.


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~The Cultivators Motherload~

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them.
I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama

Live long and prosper.



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OfflineTheSlapnCapn
Slappin' thangs.
Male User Gallery


Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 2,138
Loc: zee mountain state
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Kada]
    #14423515 - 05/09/11 08:00 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i wash and wash and wash but they still smell like shame...


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I promise to live, love, exist, and be, and hope that all life will love to be in existence with me. Also, fuck you.

-j


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Offlinemongo lloyd
Lone Free Ranger
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Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 9,351
Loc: UK Flag
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: TheSlapnCapn]
    #14423574 - 05/09/11 08:24 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

TheSlapnCapn said:
i wash and wash and wash but they still smell like shamepoop...




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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: mongo lloyd]
    #14423582 - 05/09/11 08:27 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i just lost the game



:murray:


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OfflineAntiEverything
im not a doctor
Male


Registered: 07/07/06
Posts: 6,003
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14423586 - 05/09/11 08:28 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shrooomtastic said:
Well I was masturbating to sweaty mexican strap on lesbians 3 nights in a row and overdid it I guess, now I have itchy slimy red areas on my shaft.

Did you really want details?



dude you are just jerkin it too much...

you doubtfully got an infection from just jerkin off

ive gotten rashes and soft areas on my shaft b4 from too much fappin

if its itchy, it's probably dry skin on your shaft that you are rubbing too much which leads to open wounds

throw some triple antibiotic on there, it shold be gone in the morning

in the future think of the possibility of lube b4 you masterbate


--------------------
You are at once
both
the quiet
and
the confusion
of my heart.
-Franz Kafka


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InvisibleToMP
Awesome Wanker
Male

Registered: 04/29/10
Posts: 106
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: AntiEverything]
    #14423627 - 05/09/11 08:45 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)



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InvisibleAlienscience
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Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1,258
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: ToMP]
    #14426673 - 05/09/11 08:25 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I stick everyone of my fingers in my asshole before I beat off.


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Invisibleeckhem

Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 677
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Alienscience]
    #14426868 - 05/09/11 08:58 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i love you guise


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OfflineSatyapriya
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: AntiEverything]
    #14426959 - 05/09/11 09:14 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

AntiEverything said:
Quote:

Shrooomtastic said:
Well I was masturbating to sweaty mexican strap on lesbians 3 nights in a row and overdid it I guess, now I have itchy slimy red areas on my shaft.

Did you really want details?



dude you are just jerkin it too much...

you doubtfully got an infection from just jerkin off

ive gotten rashes and soft areas on my shaft b4 from too much fappin

if its itchy, it's probably dry skin on your shaft that you are rubbing too much which leads to open wounds

throw some triple antibiotic on there, it shold be gone in the morning

in the future think of the possibility of lube b4 you masterbate




Then explain to me why there is now a lump the size of a small superball underneath my foreskin!

Fuck man, what a week.

I'm never masturbating again!


--------------------
www.collectivelyconscious.net - Hive mind for the awakened. ॐ Collectively Conscious ॐ is a community-powered, community-verified, alternative news/multimedia aggregation service for global citizens.


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OfflineVsnares.Zappa
bend over


Registered: 05/04/11
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14426976 - 05/09/11 09:18 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)


Quote:

Shrooomtastic said:[/b
I'm never masturbating again!





:laugh2:
yeah right...


Edited by Vsnares.Zappa (05/09/11 11:40 PM)


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OfflineThe Boat
Stoner with a boner


Registered: 02/20/10
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Vsnares.Zappa]
    #14427083 - 05/09/11 09:36 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Vsnares.Zappa said:
Quote:

Shrooomtastic said:
you could get an infection.  I found out the hard way this week :sad:



You Fapped too much !!!!








:ifyoucanawe:






















































































































i didnt need to see that.


--------------------


01:21:35 ‹Enlil› I know how to handle the cock


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Invisibleeckhem

Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 677
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: The Boat]
    #14427097 - 05/09/11 09:39 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

The Boat said:
Quote:

Vsnares.Zappa said:
Quote:

Shrooomtastic said:
you could get an infection.  I found out the hard way this week :sad:



You Fapped too much !!!!








:ifyoucanawe:






















































































































i didnt need to see that.




well now you are a changed person! think of it as an experience with god


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


Registered: 03/08/10
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14427102 - 05/09/11 09:40 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i have the solution for you shroomtastic:



--------------------


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OfflineShroomScape
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Yacub]
    #14427118 - 05/09/11 09:42 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Yacub said:
Be sure to wash your hands before taking a leak to, there's nothing like pissing after chopping some chili peppers. :firecum:



Hahaha! I've actually done that before--unfortunately. More surprisingly, I'm surprised there was an appropriate gremlin for that.


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OfflineVsnares.Zappa
bend over


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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14427646 - 05/10/11 12:01 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
i have the solution for you shroomtastic:







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Invisiblewow
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Vsnares.Zappa]
    #14427702 - 05/10/11 12:22 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

13.step said:
LOL@anteater...:rofl:



lol fixed!  im glad i get pussy! :pimp2:  when ya run out of lotion just spit on it :lol:


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InvisibleAlienscience
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Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1,258
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: The Boat]
    #14427706 - 05/10/11 12:23 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

The Boat said:
Quote:

Vsnares.Zappa said:
Quote:

Shrooomtastic said:
you could get an infection.  I found out the hard way this week :sad:



You Fapped too much !!!!








:ifyoucanawe:






















































































































i didnt need to see that.





Poor guy.  As much as I despise the male population, and believe true happiness can only come through the company of a girl.  I'd hate to clean that shit up...


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: wow]
    #14427726 - 05/10/11 12:28 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

wow said:
Quote:

13.step said:
LOL@anteater...:rofl:



lol fixed!  im glad i get pussy! :pimp2:  when ya run out of lotion just spit on it :lol:





or you learn how to get your girlfriend wet. :bigyesnod:


--------------------


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Invisiblewow
Lurking master
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14427750 - 05/10/11 12:38 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
Quote:

wow said:
Quote:

13.step said:
LOL@anteater...:rofl:



lol fixed!  im glad i get pussy! :pimp2:  when ya run out of lotion just spit on it :lol:





or you learn how to get your girlfriend wet. :bigyesnod:



i spit on that sometimes too :lol:  na but this new girl im seein is a freak!  she aint my girlfriend tho!! :nono:  its funny i can get myself off fapping faster than a girl can when we fuck :shrug:  idk whats up?  you guys like that?


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Offlinecryptic_pickle
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: ShroomScape]
    #14427881 - 05/10/11 01:29 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I've been there before OP when I was 18 I fapped too much, then I got this thing that was like a giant pimple on my foreskin, about as big as a thumbnail. 
I popped it and puss came out.  :borat:


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Offlineskiddy
RockStar
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: cryptic_pickle]
    #14427897 - 05/10/11 01:35 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Though shall not plant his seed in a sock then put it at the bottom a hamper like its been there a while.


--------------------
PESH : Pinning
Transeski : colonizing
Orrisa : colonizing
Mex a : colonizing

You're not a mycologist just because you grow mushrooms.


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Invisiblesandi
omg


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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14427923 - 05/10/11 01:42 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
jesus. you created your own std. i dont know whether you should be proud or ashamed.

:whatwhat:




He can call it Shroomitis


--------------------


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OfflineSatyapriya
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: cryptic_pickle]
    #14428008 - 05/10/11 02:14 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

cryptic_pickle said:
I've been there before OP when I was 18 I fapped too much, then I got this thing that was like a giant pimple on my foreskin, about as big as a thumbnail. 
I popped it and puss came out.  :borat:




Man, I'm afraid to pop it, It hurts like hell :sad:  I'm considering poking it with a needle, but then I stop and think, wait thats my dick!

FUCK THAT!

Did it leave a scar or anything cryptic pickle?


--------------------
www.collectivelyconscious.net - Hive mind for the awakened. ॐ Collectively Conscious ॐ is a community-powered, community-verified, alternative news/multimedia aggregation service for global citizens.


Edited by Satyapriya (05/10/11 02:15 AM)


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14428022 - 05/10/11 02:19 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

if its just a cyst, or a pimple like thing that is below the skin, you just have to pierce it with something and squeeze all the crap out of it. its a filthy job but it has to be done.

jeez i can't believe i'm giving advice so someone with a giant boil on their cock man . wtf shroomery. :feels weird man:


just squeeze the cyst with one hand and either poke it with a needle or a knife gently. keep poking with more pressure untill it breaks the skin or it pops. dont go crazy with it though, be gentle.

i had a small cyst on my leg once, and i just squeezed it and kind of twirled the point of a knife into it, kind of like how people start fire with sticks, and it was enough to pierce the cyst, and i just squeezed all the crap out and collected/cleaned it with a tissue.


it's going to be pretty damn disgusting though dude..


--------------------


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OfflineSatyapriya
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14428080 - 05/10/11 02:37 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
if its just a cyst, or a pimple like thing that is below the skin, you just have to pierce it with something and squeeze all the crap out of it. its a filthy job but it has to be done.

jeez i can't believe i'm giving advice so someone with a giant boil on their cock man . wtf shroomery. :feels weird man:


just squeeze the cyst with one hand and either poke it with a needle or a knife gently. keep poking with more pressure untill it breaks the skin or it pops. dont go crazy with it though, be gentle.

i had a small cyst on my leg once, and i just squeezed it and kind of twirled the point of a knife into it, kind of like how people start fire with sticks, and it was enough to pierce the cyst, and i just squeezed all the crap out and collected/cleaned it with a tissue.


it's going to be pretty damn disgusting though dude..




Yeah, I've had one before on my wrist and popped it with a needle.  But this is my dick!  Its a thousand times more sensitive.  Plus its like directly on, or under, the urethra, I can't really tell.  I'm afraid if I pop it I'll have 2 streams, one in the toilet and one on the floor  :goat:

I think I'll just give it a few days, talk to it, see if it'll go away.  Anything but the needle :eek:


--------------------
www.collectivelyconscious.net - Hive mind for the awakened. ॐ Collectively Conscious ॐ is a community-powered, community-verified, alternative news/multimedia aggregation service for global citizens.


Edited by Satyapriya (05/10/11 02:40 AM)


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OfflineVsnares.Zappa
bend over


Registered: 05/04/11
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya] * 1
    #14428091 - 05/10/11 02:40 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

rub it with sandpaper.


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OfflineAnthony917
why dont we do it in the road
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Kada]
    #14428149 - 05/10/11 03:05 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Kada said:
I wash my hands about 60 times a day I counted. I'm a freak, but a clean one.




lol seriously? you germaphobe



--------------------
Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...


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Offlinecryptic_pickle
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Anthony917]
    #14428296 - 05/10/11 05:04 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

bahahaha!  :rofl2:

I thought you said it was on the foreskin?  If its on the foreskin then it shud be fine.  I doubt you could pierce your urethra unless you drove the
needle into the center of your cock.

I just squeezed mine really hard and the skin eventually broke, spose you could use a needle to help it along.  It'll probably clear up quicker if you
drain it.  Dunno lookup what to do about a cyst.

Mine didn't leave a scar - but chicks dig scars  :wink:

"Ohh that yeah I slapped a crocodile in the face with my cock, thats nothing."

Good luck :penis::thumbup:


--------------------
"What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
"He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
"And why did that upset you?"
"My name is Susan."


Edited by cryptic_pickle (05/10/11 05:09 AM)


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InvisibleToMP
Awesome Wanker
Male

Registered: 04/29/10
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14428464 - 05/10/11 06:34 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shrooomtastic
But this is my dick!  Its a thousand times more sensitive.




Harden up princess - be a man :thumbup:!



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OfflineTrippa
Magic Man
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14428667 - 05/10/11 07:46 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

yeah problem with these things is that they keep building up pressure until it's eventually really painful.... then when you find your balls and pop it, the pain will just disappear like magic.... there is heaps more thick yellowish puss in there then you may think, and you'll have to try to get as much out as possible cos if it's cyst, it'll be septic (poison) and you don't want that in your blood stream or get gangrene and if you go to the hospital, they'll jab it with a needle to freeze it, then lance the fucker off with a scalpel... I had one on my ass/hip, I left it alone and just put cream on it, after a few days, it looked like I was a true blue Tasmanian :/

http://youtu.be/1hhoRTrgLFI


--------------------
"I never fuck'd a 10! But one nite, I fuck'd five 2's, that should count" R.I.P. George Carlin



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OfflineTrippa
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Trippa]
    #14428670 - 05/10/11 07:48 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

oh, and you can use a Sham WoW to clean it up :smile:


--------------------
"I never fuck'd a 10! But one nite, I fuck'd five 2's, that should count" R.I.P. George Carlin



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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Trippa]
    #14428779 - 05/10/11 08:32 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

LOL that shit was nasty but awesome at the same time


--------------------


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OfflineTrippa
Magic Man
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #14428952 - 05/10/11 09:17 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

it's truely amazing how many video's there are on youtube for giant zits/pi,ples etc etc... and to think I went and had some Brea, chedar and some gooie smelly french chease and crackers after while I watched episode 20 of the Event haha, nightmares now


--------------------
"I never fuck'd a 10! But one nite, I fuck'd five 2's, that should count" R.I.P. George Carlin



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Offlines240779
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14428991 - 05/10/11 09:26 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

This one of the reasons I'm glad my foreskin completely covers the head of my penis, even when erect. I usually was my hands anyway, though.


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OfflineSatyapriya
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: s240779]
    #14430620 - 05/10/11 04:16 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Okay, so I made an appointment with a urologist to check it out tomorrow.  I don't feel comfortable popping it myself considering its location and high risk of infection.

Thanks for the advice, and lighthearted humor :mushroom2:

But not for that one disturbing image... that was sick man :nono:


--------------------
www.collectivelyconscious.net - Hive mind for the awakened. ॐ Collectively Conscious ॐ is a community-powered, community-verified, alternative news/multimedia aggregation service for global citizens.


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14432299 - 05/10/11 10:19 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

atleast get the doctor to buy you dinner or a beer or something first.


--------------------


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Offlinecdnshroom
Music Will Set Us Free


Registered: 02/04/09
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Anthony917]
    #14432401 - 05/10/11 10:37 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i haven't washed my hands since the 5th grade...losers :huxleyfacepalm:

but i have got a penis infection many times...wait..:huxleyfacepalm:


--------------------
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world"
I'm a full-fledged music junkie......rehab is not an option.


Edited by cdnshroom (05/10/11 10:39 PM)


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OfflineSatyapriya
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: cdnshroom]
    #14436093 - 05/11/11 05:49 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

UPDATE:  so i wen't to the urologist today and found out that it was an abscess, most likely caused by, yes i guessed it, masturbating with dirty hands.  He had to fucking inject my dick in 5 different places with a numbing agent, which was beyond painful, and then used a scalpel to drain it.

Let this be a lesson to he rest of you!  Wash your hands before jerkin' it!


--------------------
www.collectivelyconscious.net - Hive mind for the awakened. ॐ Collectively Conscious ॐ is a community-powered, community-verified, alternative news/multimedia aggregation service for global citizens.


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OfflineAnthony917
why dont we do it in the road
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14436257 - 05/11/11 06:25 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shrooomtastic said:
UPDATE:  so i wen't to the urologist today and found out that it was an abscess, most likely caused by, yes i guessed it, masturbating with dirty hands.  He had to fucking inject my dick in 5 different places with a numbing agent, which was beyond painful, and then used a scalpel to drain it.

Let this be a lesson to he rest of you!  Wash your hands before jerkin' it!




lol or don't excessively masturbate w/ dirty hands....
I've never thought "hmm, bout to fap, better wash my hands"

it's always like "I just fapped, better wash my hands"

I've never gotten an abscess from dirty fapping...

ur gross


--------------------
Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Anthony917]
    #14436359 - 05/11/11 06:50 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

How dirty does your hands have to be to get infected?

Were you playing in mud when you masturbated???


--------------------


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OfflineSatyapriya
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Patlal]
    #14453998 - 05/14/11 10:53 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

So, I've decided that from now on I will masturbate using antibacterial ointment as lube.  Problem solved.


--------------------
www.collectivelyconscious.net - Hive mind for the awakened. ॐ Collectively Conscious ॐ is a community-powered, community-verified, alternative news/multimedia aggregation service for global citizens.


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OfflineVsnares.Zappa
bend over


Registered: 05/04/11
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #14454101 - 05/14/11 11:20 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

:billnye:  :kelsoburn:


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Vsnares.Zappa]
    #15226930 - 10/14/11 08:25 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

and lulz were had by all. read this thread


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OfflineSatyapriya
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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #15227107 - 10/14/11 08:51 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

what in God's name did you search to bring this thread back to life?

:lol:


--------------------
www.collectivelyconscious.net - Hive mind for the awakened. ॐ Collectively Conscious ॐ is a community-powered, community-verified, alternative news/multimedia aggregation service for global citizens.


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp


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Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: Satyapriya]
    #15227114 - 10/14/11 08:53 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

the 'google your username' thread lead me to this thread, :lol: , i started reading and it was funny as fuck


--------------------


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InvisibleMad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
Re: Wash your hands before you masturbate... [Re: eris]
    #15228404 - 10/15/11 06:11 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

eris said:
My worst jacking off experience came when I was like 12 or 13. I used some kind of shampoo product. My wang got all swollen up and red for like a week. It looked like a big fat club




Alright, don't show off.


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* Have you ever been caught masturbating?
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