I don’t know why, but I feel the need and urge to articulate my first ayahuasca experience. To begin with, I’m not that experience with psychedelics. I’ve tripped on shrooms on a few occasions with each trip varying in strength and degree. I more or less decided to try ayahuasca out of sheer curiosity than to gain any sense of enlightenment or to be deeply moved by some profound spiritual event. Anyways, I began preparing my brew around 9PM. I used approximately 14 grams of MHRB and 4 grams of finely powdered syria rue.
The entire process took me about 2 hours or so. I brewed the ayahuasca for about 1 and a half hours and took it at 12AM or so. 20-30 minutes later, I really began to feel it kick in. 45 minutes later, I started purging. I purged twice. After the second purge, I don't know what happened, but I suffered what I believe to be was ego death. I lost all sense of self. Concepts such as time, life and death became meaningless to me. I was stuck in a cycle of birth and death for what seemed to be like hours. My sense of self was totally shattered. It seemed as if everything in my life, up to that point, was completely meaningless and superficial.
I don't know if this took place before or after purging, but there were very ominous figures looming over me, defiling me with fecal matter and urine. Intense waves of just bright neon green, yellow and deep brown colors just came at me. To say the least, I was freaking the fuck out.
There were points through out my trip where I would touch basis with reality and float off again into the far reaches of my mind. Each time I came back to reality, I kept on telling myself, "This was a horrible idea, shit, should I wake up my roommates and ask them to take me to the hospital?" I sincerely thought I was going to die.
Towards the end of my trip, I kept on going through a loop of birth and death. At that point, I felt an intense connection with the "universe." I don't know how to articulate it, but it was the most profound moment in my life. I felt like I was floating in space. Drifting...
All in all, my trip lasted for about an hour. After slowly coming to, I went outside and had a smoke.
I didn't enter "hyperspace" or have any intense visuals. The most interesting thing to me was that my trip solely took place within the boundaries of my own mind. I feel like that while on shrooms, your trip is largely dependent on external influences and perceptions, whereas while on a DMT trip, everything is purely dependent on your psyche and state of consciousness. While on shrooms, the world was my playground. During my ayahuasca trip, everything took place within the boundaries of my own mind. Crazy.
Despite being so scared, I felt like it was one of the most profound experiences in my life. I definitely look forward to my next ayahuasca trip.
Cheers!
-------------------- sup brah?!
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