|
Anonymous #1
|
Am in headed in the right direction
#14393489 - 05/03/11 09:04 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Lately I have been thinking of everything that has happened over the past year or so which has changed who I am and what I am doing, and I am not sure if its for the best.
At 18 I moved out of my parents home and in with my girl friend, we shared an apartment together and that time was arguably the happiest time of my life. We were together for 1.5 years - during that time I went into Software Engineering at the local University (I am by no means "geeky" - I am actually the last person you would ever expect to be in computers, and when I tell people they are always surprised) and was at the top of the class.
The drive to do better was my girlfriend at the time, we both wanted to get married and really start our life together.
However back a year ago or so we broke up. It had been getting worse and worse, we both jumped into the whole living together thing and we were not prepared, as we were both young and still changing quite a bit. We still loved each other but knew that it wasn't going to work out.
Before I had moved in with my girl friend I was passionate about music, during the time I kind of dropped it but after words I took it up again, starting producing and making tracks. I was introduced to drugs and thats when it all went crazy.
I graduated and got a really nice job at a really big awesome company, but I hate it more than ever. I blew alot of money on drugs last year, finally bringing up the finances but I have absolutely no wish to continue in the Software Engineering (Masters)- I find it so boring now.
I don't know what happened and there is a part of me which doesn't want to lose what everyone told me I had amazing potential for. But I have absolutely no wish to do any of it anymore. I love music. I love raving. I love drugs. But I love music more. And all I want to do is to work with music. Creating tracks. Playing.
But one part of me wishes I didn't leave the other part of me behind. But its kind of like a different past life now. Its like I have changed too much to ever go back.
Anyone have any advice?
Edited by Anonymous (05/03/11 09:04 AM)
|
danlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....



Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
Loc: usa
Last seen: 1 year, 13 days
|
Re: Am in headed in the right direction [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14393534 - 05/03/11 09:19 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
It sounds like you used drugs to escape from the pain of your breakup...and during that time you deviated off the path you had originally set for yourself. What kind of drugs do you think effected you the most? addictive kind or psychedelic kind?
-------------------- "Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Am in headed in the right direction [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14393535 - 05/03/11 09:19 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Make music your hobby.
If you intend to make a living off of music, or anything creative in general, you at least need a good job to fall back on. It's a very unpromising market.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Am in headed in the right direction [Re: danlennon3]
#14393561 - 05/03/11 09:24 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
danlennon3 said: It sounds like you used drugs to escape from the pain of your breakup...and during that time you deviated off the path you had originally set for yourself. What kind of drugs do you think effected you the most? addictive kind or psychedelic kind?
Not really. Because I didn't use drugs heavily after the breakup. I drank and went clubbing and had a fuck buddy. I starting using months and months later. The first drugs I did were club drugs, I ventured into psychedelics later.
|
Cherk
Fashionable



Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
Re: Am in headed in the right direction [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14394748 - 05/03/11 02:35 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
most people work jobs they don't completely love
--------------------
I have considered such matters. SIKE
|
Shroomy Dan
Experienced NOOB


Registered: 05/04/11
Posts: 33
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
|
Re: Am in headed in the right direction [Re: Cherk]
#14404878 - 05/05/11 11:44 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Follow your highest excitement, it will lead you to all other excitements. There is already an audience for your music or you would not have the desire to create it. There are no one sided coins.
If you haven't already..go find examples of people doing what they love (like music) and are completely supported by it. Be careful..raving and drugs may detract from your fullest potential. If they are a crutch and you look to them for happiness.
Do not buy into the belief that making a living with music is difficult or that you would have to work some crappy job and struggle to make music.
You are not losing anything by not pursuing computers. You learned what you needed to and discovered it wasn't who you are and that's exciting. I actually have the same situation where everyone keeps telling me how great I am with computers, but I didn't want to go that route. I defined it as unfulfilling to work with computers.
Do what you love to the best of your ability, with integrity and without expectation that the future must turn out exactly as you are picturing it.
Define everything as an exciting challenge rather than an obstacle or a problem. Remember you are a different person every moment. Everything is just stepping stones to greater things. You may do music for a while and then discover it no longer works for you as well. Then you would do the next most exciting thing you can think of doing.
Following your highest joy will lead you to more and more excitement.Follow that thread. You are always growing and expanding into new ideas. Enjoy the process.
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Am in headed in the right direction [Re: Shroomy Dan]
#14404903 - 05/05/11 11:51 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
In the meantime he at least needs a job until he his music starts paying all the bills.
People have different levels of talent as well. Idk how good OP's are, or how good yours is, but you never truly know how your audience will react until it is published.
And some people struggle like the shit with music. I'm glad you think it's so easy though.
|
Anthony917
why dont we do it in the road



Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 3,243
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
|
Re: Am in headed in the right direction [Re: Anonymous #2]
#14405719 - 05/05/11 02:58 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
If music is your hobby, don't turn it into your job. You might just come to hate it. I would work a job, and pursue music as a hobby. If your music takes you somewhere, excellent, but it probably won't.
There's nothing wrong with being indecisive, and not knowing what you want to do, so don't feel bad that you "gave up" on your engineering. I'd rather work a low paying job that I love than be stuck somewhere I fucking despise.
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17 Trippin? Click Me
What is life? I'm tired of life...
|
LZip
Stranger

Registered: 03/27/11
Posts: 54
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
|
Re: Am in headed in the right direction [Re: Anthony917]
#14406924 - 05/05/11 07:13 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
I dont know exactly what all the job description of a computer software engineer is...but I'm sure there are other things you can do with it besides work for a big corporation. I have heard of a lot of people who hate the corporate life, but have enjoyed their job working for a small, private business. Maybe you can start your own business with it?
Regardless, I would not attempt to make music your MAIN concentration. Mess with that on the side, and if something comes of it, then so be it. You chose your major because hopefully you had an interest in computers. Explore other potential careers you can have with your degree.
|
|