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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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cant trip without dissociating
#14392986 - 05/03/11 05:33 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Well...I had an interesting experience on 2c-b the other weekend in which I played several characters, and each of the characters would speak through me...I would take on the conscience, psyche, way of speaking and i was in the set of the play.
Fast forward to this past weekend when I ate mushrooms, something i hadnt done in over a year and the SAME DAMN THING happened. It was not a heroic dose of mushrooms, not even a normal dose but probably about 2.5 grams. Ive been able to eat several times that in the past without dissociating to that degree.
I became completely dissociated and unable to control my actions, speech, etc. I became different consciousnesses that flowed through me. I would become these characters and play out the plot of the play. I had no ego of my own and picked up whatever ego would be instilled in me in the moment.
Recently i feel like I dont have the identity I used to...I feel like I have no identity anymore other than characters and i become dissociated in everyday life but I can still hold on to tiny shreds of the massive ego i had once...but its difficult...its difficult for me to play me without slipping into other characters and alternate personalities.
I feel distant in day to day life and unable to converse normally or even remember things that happened a couple of minutes ago...my memory seems to constantly reset and I forget where I am or what Im doing unless I see it written down or I am reminded.
I fear that Im losing it.
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ArtieFartie
Mind Manipulator




Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 2,519
Loc: A Psychedelic Realm
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Hold on brother. Just quit tripping for a while. Even smoking if you have to.
If it doesn't help, see a psychiatrist.
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LongStrangeTrip
Deadhead


Registered: 09/19/09
Posts: 5,382
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: ArtieFartie]
#14393060 - 05/03/11 06:21 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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yea..... You may want to seek some real, professional help; someone you can easily relate these experiences to, in an open and comfortable environment. Your wise coming to us, but we are not pro's and what your describing..... idk man sounds serious to me. I have never felt like that on any psychedelics and I have done them for a long time with quite a bit of frequency, relatively speaking.

-------------------- Nothing I say or do is factual; every single thing I write is a work of fiction. Got no idea what I'm talking about here~ "Once in awhile, you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right"~ (Grateful Dead) "o puer, qui omnia nomini debes"; "You, boy, who owe's everything to a name"~ Mark Anthony "Nihil est incertius vulgo, nihil obscurius voluntate hominum, nihil fallacius ratione tota comitiorum."; "Nothing is more unpredictable than the mob, nothing more obscure than public opinion, nothing more deceptive than the whole political system."~ Cicero
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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I am not sure anyone is the pro in this, except maybe the dalai lama or some sufi master. for more than a millennium the catholics have applied exorcism which is just plain ignorant; I agree, tapering off your tripping and use of any mj will help.
those who know me already get my stream of consciousness and frame stacking theories.
slower brain signal fading induced by entheogens or emotions causes stacking of moments of brain activity in the stream of consciousness, i.e. the previous moments begin to co-exist with the current ones etc. time and space tend to dissolve or follow weakened rules of procession.
it enriches sensation, memory and thoughts
when the stacking is sufficient you can see tracers and trails and when it is more than that you can have personality masks and gestures calving off of the main time line.
(this is your particular issue)
when unfaded personality masks float side by side in the stream, and each of these prolonged fading selves is as fully reactive a self as any other, it gets very confusing as to whose body this is anyway.
no wonder it has been treated as possession.
but it's normal.
observe it and not be disturbed by it. some dissociation from it is sensible, I recommend regular physical exercise, good diet, and a bit of abstention, until it passes into an acceptable range, and a more baseline consistency in your stream of consciousness is established.
If the experts treat you, it wont be that good - expect antipsychotics and probably god. yucky stuff.
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LongStrangeTrip
Deadhead


Registered: 09/19/09
Posts: 5,382
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: I am not sure anyone is the pro in this, except maybe the dalai lama or some sufi master. for more than a millennium the catholics have applied exorcism which is just plain ignorant; I agree, tapering off your tripping and use of any mj will help.
those who know me already get my stream of consciousness and frame stacking theories.
slower brain signal fading induced by entheogens or emotions causes stacking of moments of brain activity in the stream of consciousness, i.e. the previous moments begin to co-exist with the current ones etc. time and space tend to dissolve or follow weakened rules of procession.
it enriches sensation, memory and thoughts
when the stacking is sufficient you can see tracers and trails and when it is more than that you can have personality masks and gestures calving off of the main time line.
(this is your particular issue)
when unfaded personality masks float side by side in the stream, and each of these prolonged fading selves is as fully reactive a self as any other, it gets very confusing as to whose body this is anyway.
no wonder it has been treated as possession.
but it's normal.
observe it and not be disturbed by it. some dissociation from it is sensible, I recommend regular physical exercise, good diet, and a bit of abstention, until it passes into an acceptable range, and a more baseline consistency in your stream of consciousness is established.
If the experts treat you, it wont be that good - expect antipsychotics and probably god. yucky stuff.
Ha he has got a good point....GLuck OP
-------------------- Nothing I say or do is factual; every single thing I write is a work of fiction. Got no idea what I'm talking about here~ "Once in awhile, you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right"~ (Grateful Dead) "o puer, qui omnia nomini debes"; "You, boy, who owe's everything to a name"~ Mark Anthony "Nihil est incertius vulgo, nihil obscurius voluntate hominum, nihil fallacius ratione tota comitiorum."; "Nothing is more unpredictable than the mob, nothing more obscure than public opinion, nothing more deceptive than the whole political system."~ Cicero
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noobieman
Stranger
Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 74
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
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At some point this may come down to:
"Hey, Doc. It hurts when I do this!" "Then don't do that."
There is enough diversity across brain chemistries and structures to embrace caution. We can only generalize so much, and then the individual must decide if it's worth whatever they feel is at risk. It's easy for me to tell someone else what risks to take, but I won't be losing the sanity if I'm wrong.
There's also a difference between doing something once a year and doing it every week.
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: noobieman]
#14394160 - 05/03/11 12:12 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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This actually only started happening after long periods of abstinence from tripping and then tripping again.
Kinda like how starting smoking weed again gives you anxiety.
Here is a brief rundown of my tripping history;
From 15-17 I tripped a few times a year. From 18-20 I tripped probably monthly. From 21-24.5 I tripped every week, sometimes twice a week I quit tripping all together about 9 months ago. Ive since tripped a handful of times, after a 6 month period of abstinence Ive probably tripped 3 times, back to the monthly plan. (acid once, 2c-b once, mushrooms once)
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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so how many selves to you separate into for how long and on what dosage?
By the way, separating into multiple selves is very normal it is like a degree of movement in itself, a bit like riding a bike with no hands, once you get going.
not everyone rides bikes with no hands, and not everyone trips with multiple selves coming face to face, but having the balance to do it and the momentum are part of tripping, and it takes some skill, and a sense of timing.
It can get to the point of "oh my god, I am so stoned, I wonder if I am multiple now..." and boom you are doing it again! just like "I wonder if I can do this trick with no hands" and boom you are driving no hands...
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Mr. Anderson
πριν από το χρόνο κάποιου


Registered: 09/05/10
Posts: 2,677
Loc: Torn between the roots of...
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That's what you get for being a sociopath like me and eating mushrooms 
Just kidding. Sounds like a completely normal trip to me. Never have one like that myself but hey your tripping balls man
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Disclaimer: All posts are completely fictional and or for educational purposes only.
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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I dont even really think about it as Im doing it. I am more or less compelled by the spirit.
When I become the other person I AM that person and feel as though Ive always been. It feels like overlap on the web of life...I get cross chatter from other aspects of my same self cept they go into this body instead of their usual bodies.
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OneU
Registered: 03/19/11
Posts: 763
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
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Write down the times you have given your power to others on a piece of paper. People you have slept with, times you've felt inferior or superior (power given to the ego). Sometimes characters we feed our power become strong enough (because we become weak enough) to channel their energy through us. It is like having an entity within. Energies run through us without our conscious self noticing. If it becomes too much the subconscious will secure your chi until you are ready to consciously take it back. Like a lock that only the silent truth will unlock and that is what will open the gates to peace brother. I would start to write a bit, whether on a laptop or paper (paper is better I think) and ask yourself some questions:
What do I want in this lifetime? Why am I here? What do I wish to accomplish? Do I want to create/destroy/ruin/embrace/strengthen/etc.? Why?
Who do I think I am? Where does my ego play a role here?
AM I AWARE AND WHAT AM I AWARE OF?
This should help
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bholzer
quasi-scientist


Registered: 03/22/11
Posts: 2,409
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: OneU]
#14395905 - 05/03/11 06:33 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I understand kind of how your feeling. Not too long ago, I had a pretty rough trip, and since then, things have been a little off.
I have found that it helps to distract myself by staying busy, but then again I'm probably avoiding the problem 
Good luck, I hope everything works out. Let us know!
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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: bholzer]
#14396004 - 05/03/11 06:44 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Psychedelic drugs destroy some people's minds. No one understands the complex interactions between these chemicals and your brain. But I think it is instructive to realize these drugs bring about psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic type states, right? We call it tripping, but in the 1950s doctors believed they induced textbook schizophrenia. Some minds have more difficulty bouncing back to normal than others due to genetics, environment, past use, etc. I think if you value your sanity, you'd not tinker any further with that delicate organ in your head.
Think of each trip as brain trauma. How many much more can it take? Imagine your description in the original post becomes your new normal. Yikes.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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Psicodelico
Just another psycho



Registered: 01/21/11
Posts: 246
Loc: Brazil
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: joemolloy]
#14396329 - 05/03/11 07:38 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
joemolloy said: Psychedelic drugs destroy some people's minds. No one understands the complex interactions between these chemicals and your brain. But I think it is instructive to realize these drugs bring about psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic type states, right? We call it tripping, but in the 1950s doctors believed they induced textbook schizophrenia. Some minds have more difficulty bouncing back to normal than others due to genetics, environment, past use, etc. I think if you value your sanity, you'd not tinker any further with that delicate organ in your head.
Think of each trip as brain trauma. How many much more can it take? Imagine your description in the original post becomes your new normal. Yikes.
Do you have any scientific proof for all these statements? Any drug has an impact in the brain, it doesn't necessarily mean that it destroys the brain but it does affect it. And NO! it is not all psychedelic drugs that have psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic effects on the human mind. Why you taking in account 1950's medical 'studies' anyways? I dnt think you should think as each trip as a trauma but an experience, learning and absorbing whatever the trip teaches you. lady or whoever you are, I dnt even know why you are in this forum if all you say is nonsense without any scientific reason, only cheap morality.
For the author of the topic I'd suggest Terence McKenna's book 'True Hallucinations' where he goes on days and days tripping in the amazon with his brother and a couple friends exploring all realms of psychedelic drugs. really awesome stuff!
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: Psicodelico]
#14396388 - 05/03/11 07:47 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psicodelico said:
Quote:
joemolloy said: Psychedelic drugs destroy some people's minds. No one understands the complex interactions between these chemicals and your brain. But I think it is instructive to realize these drugs bring about psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic type states, right? We call it tripping, but in the 1950s doctors believed they induced textbook schizophrenia. Some minds have more difficulty bouncing back to normal than others due to genetics, environment, past use, etc. I think if you value your sanity, you'd not tinker any further with that delicate organ in your head.
Think of each trip as brain trauma. How many much more can it take? Imagine your description in the original post becomes your new normal. Yikes.
Do you have any scientific proof for all these statements? Any drug has an impact in the brain, it doesn't necessarily mean that it destroys the brain but it does affect it. And NO! it is not all psychedelic drugs that have psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic effects on the human mind. Why you taking in account 1950's medical 'studies' anyways? I dnt think you should think as each trip as a trauma but an experience, learning and absorbing whatever the trip teaches you. lady or whoever you are, I dnt even know why you are in this forum if all you say is nonsense without any scientific reason, only cheap morality.
For the author of the topic I'd suggest Terence McKenna's book 'True Hallucinations' where he goes on days and days tripping in the amazon with his brother and a couple friends exploring all realms of psychedelic drugs. really awesome stuff!
Great advice. Ignore the psychotic, delusional, and schizoid psychological effects of these drugs, minimize the significance of tripping for days because the crackpot Mckenna brothers did it, and explore the psychedelic realms of your mind even if you are on the brink of a mental breakdown.
Should he practice juggling with knives and guns too while he's at it?
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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bholzer
quasi-scientist


Registered: 03/22/11
Posts: 2,409
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: Psicodelico]
#14396570 - 05/03/11 08:15 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psicodelico said: Do you have any scientific proof for all these statements? Any drug has an impact in the brain, it doesn't necessarily mean that it destroys the brain but it does affect it. And NO! it is not all psychedelic drugs that have psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic effects on the human mind. Why you taking in account 1950's medical 'studies' anyways? I dnt think you should think as each trip as a trauma but an experience, learning and absorbing whatever the trip teaches you. lady or whoever you are, I dnt even know why you are in this forum if all you say is nonsense without any scientific reason, only cheap morality.
For the author of the topic I'd suggest Terence McKenna's book 'True Hallucinations' where he goes on days and days tripping in the amazon with his brother and a couple friends exploring all realms of psychedelic drugs. really awesome stuff!
Why does he need to prove anything he said?
If you've done acid, or mushrooms, or dmt, then the chances are that you've had some delusional or psychotic thoughts. It happens, it's just the way the psychedelic drugs make you think. For some people it can be awesome, for some it can be a bad thing. For some it is both.
Some people can treat these trips as a learning experience, and for some the drugs bring about demons they don't want to deal with. That is the trauma Joe talks about. Sometimes, psychedelics can leave you feeling fragmented, and some people just can't pick up the pieces.
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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.
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eckhem

Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 677
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Quote:
MisterMuscaria said: Well...I had an interesting experience on 2c-b the other weekend in which I played several characters, and each of the characters would speak through me...I would take on the conscience, psyche, way of speaking and i was in the set of the play.
Fast forward to this past weekend when I ate mushrooms, something i hadnt done in over a year and the SAME DAMN THING happened. It was not a heroic dose of mushrooms, not even a normal dose but probably about 2.5 grams. Ive been able to eat several times that in the past without dissociating to that degree.
I became completely dissociated and unable to control my actions, speech, etc. I became different consciousnesses that flowed through me. I would become these characters and play out the plot of the play. I had no ego of my own and picked up whatever ego would be instilled in me in the moment.
Recently i feel like I dont have the identity I used to...I feel like I have no identity anymore other than characters and i become dissociated in everyday life but I can still hold on to tiny shreds of the massive ego i had once...but its difficult...its difficult for me to play me without slipping into other characters and alternate personalities.
I feel distant in day to day life and unable to converse normally or even remember things that happened a couple of minutes ago...my memory seems to constantly reset and I forget where I am or what Im doing unless I see it written down or I am reminded.
I fear that Im losing it.
Dude im not far gone like you say you are, but i certainly know what you mean. mush have dissocociated me so badly i feel you bro... ive tripped to much and abused this beautiful tool of the mind
You cant undo anything youve alrady done, just acceptance and perserverance friend 
IF not get some psychiatric droogs
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Cactilove
Controversial Mystic



Registered: 02/17/11
Posts: 4,826
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: joemolloy]
#14397085 - 05/03/11 09:49 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I agree with you in some points this time Joe, O.P. you need to take a good break. You could have dissasociative disorder, the symptoms you described match the diagnosis. my friend has this and goes into alternative identities, although in his case, he as I used to know him is gone completely while his alters come out. Did you have any really difficult trips or childhood trauma by any chance? If this is what you think you may have look it up to see if your symptoms match and go to a professional. They can perscribe you medicine, but it's addictive and makes you feel a bit different. Best way is therapy where you can work on something called integration or the fusion of all personalities joined together in one. Also find out if your alternate personalities are the same or alike whenever you experience the episode.
-------------------- Orgone Conclusion...Bringing OTD to PS&P since 2007.
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Psicodelico
Just another psycho



Registered: 01/21/11
Posts: 246
Loc: Brazil
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: bholzer]
#14398295 - 05/04/11 04:18 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Why does he need to prove anything he says? Oh, maybe because he said that psychedelics destroy your brain and consequently your life? You know, shit like this is what make people still stereotype these drugs, especially with this idea that psychedelics makes you paranoid, schizophrenic or whatnot. By the way, I did not mean that one cannot psychologically breakdown and have hardcore badtrips, that is part of the process and experience. If you do not want to deal with such events, why even bother taking them? If you are using psychs you are very likely to pass through a bad one. The most enlightening experience I've ever had was after a heavy badtrip on lsd. If you disagree with me it's fine but jumping to conclusions that he is loosing his mind is nonsense, the guy even said he's been tripping almost every weekend, that can also be a factor. Peace
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bholzer
quasi-scientist


Registered: 03/22/11
Posts: 2,409
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: Psicodelico]
#14398972 - 05/04/11 09:14 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psicodelico said: Why does he need to prove anything he says? Oh, maybe because he said that psychedelics destroy your brain and consequently your life? You know, shit like this is what make people still stereotype these drugs, especially with this idea that psychedelics makes you paranoid, schizophrenic or whatnot. By the way, I did not mean that one cannot psychologically breakdown and have hardcore badtrips, that is part of the process and experience. If you do not want to deal with such events, why even bother taking them? If you are using psychs you are very likely to pass through a bad one. The most enlightening experience I've ever had was after a heavy badtrip on lsd. If you disagree with me it's fine but jumping to conclusions that he is loosing his mind is nonsense, the guy even said he's been tripping almost every weekend, that can also be a factor. Peace
You misquoted him pretty badly. He said SOME people's minds. Your mind is different from your brain. There have been cases where psychedelics bring out mental disorders that people are predisposed to having. That's what he means.
That's not a point that you can really argue.
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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.
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ic3.qu33n
Muff Muncher



Registered: 03/24/11
Posts: 258
Loc: NY
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: bholzer]
#14400554 - 05/04/11 03:27 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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disassociation is a factor/effect/experience/symptom often experienced with ingestion of hallucinogens. often found more prevalent with high and/or repeated use before the tolerance level is able to be reduced to normal by the body
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Disclaimer: Anything, I've said I do or done, or say is a complete facade of my dog Dr. Myco McRufferton's dream lifestyle. Freestone Texas Grow << Freestone Texas and B+ Prints available for Trade >> PM me My 5g Bucket Dehydrator Tek
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: ic3.qu33n]
#14401071 - 05/04/11 05:24 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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This didnt happen until after the tolerance level shouldve been lowered...there was a good 9 month break before I started dissociating.
My state of mind normally in a non-drugged straight is much like the trips I had earlier on, or how other people feel when they trip. I see things, hear things, go on journeys, forget things that happened a few minutes ago, get alot of rainbowing, tracers, time distortion, and delusions.
When I trip I completely lose my gourd and forget who or where i am.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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i got dissociated for a long period of time, felt very distant from reality and those around me. meditation saved me from a life of dissociation as far as i'm concerned. it helped me physically balance, and led me to spiritual inquiry where i saw that there is no self anyways, and who i really am is the pure consciousness, which for me was a very liberating discovery.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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bholzer
quasi-scientist


Registered: 03/22/11
Posts: 2,409
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: g00ru]
#14401138 - 05/04/11 05:44 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
guruu said: i got dissociated for a long period of time, felt very distant from reality and those around me. meditation saved me from a life of dissociation as far as i'm concerned. it helped me physically balance, and led me to spiritual inquiry where i saw that there is no self anyways, and who i really am is the pure consciousness, which for me was a very liberating discovery.
I was thinking about meditation to help save me from my dissociation. How did you go about meditating to help yourself out of it?
I feel terrible, and the more I think about it, the worse it gets, because I feel like I'm going crazy
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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: g00ru]
#14401141 - 05/04/11 05:46 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Meditation actually helped me to disassociate in the first place, back when it was impossible for me to do.
I live in a constant reality of no self anyways and just being pure consciousness, but that's what I struggle with. I want my self back.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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your self/ego is only going to be as stable as your habits. You need to have huge life goals and dreams that you're working towards, other wise you're just neither here nor there. But why want your ego back? It's not the idea of yourself that's good...that's what holds you back. It's just achievements, goals,...that's what i want in life, i don't give a fuck about my current transitory ego, it gets smashed pretty frequently anyways
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: bholzer]
#14401160 - 05/04/11 05:52 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
bholzer said:
Quote:
guruu said: i got dissociated for a long period of time, felt very distant from reality and those around me. meditation saved me from a life of dissociation as far as i'm concerned. it helped me physically balance, and led me to spiritual inquiry where i saw that there is no self anyways, and who i really am is the pure consciousness, which for me was a very liberating discovery.
I was thinking about meditation to help save me from my dissociation. How did you go about meditating to help yourself out of it?
I feel terrible, and the more I think about it, the worse it gets, because I feel like I'm going crazy
well it really does dissociate from your thoughts more, but for me all i really needed to do was chill the fuck out, my main problem was anxiety. The "dissociation" isn't a bad thing if you can live with it, actually it can be a source of power, you're more of a "high" being, more detached and able to see things from a perspective most people cant (and it's not a bad perspective).
'That inner Self, as the primeval Spirit, Eternal, ever effulgent, full and infinite Bliss, Single, indivisible, whole and living, Shines in everyone as the witnessing awareness. That self in its splendour, shining in the cavity of the heart This self is neither born nor dies, Neither grows nor decays, Nor does it suffer any change. When a pot is broken, the space within it is not, And similarly, when the body dies the Self in it remains eternal. - Ramana Maharishi
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: g00ru]
#14401183 - 05/04/11 06:00 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
guruu said: your self/ego is only going to be as stable as your habits. You need to have huge life goals and dreams that you're working towards, other wise you're just neither here nor there. But why want your ego back? It's not the idea of yourself that's good...that's what holds you back. It's just achievements, goals,...that's what i want in life, i don't give a fuck about my current transitory ego, it gets smashed pretty frequently anyways 
I feel like without it I have no more achievements or goals. I feel like people like the idea of me more than they like me. I am neither here nor there. I am the fool on the hill.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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you gotta believe in yourself man, one day at a time just start building something, you have to have dreams to be a happy human, you have to be able to have a good imagination about your future.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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bholzer
quasi-scientist


Registered: 03/22/11
Posts: 2,409
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: g00ru]
#14401233 - 05/04/11 06:10 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
guruu said:
well it really does dissociate from your thoughts more, but for me all i really needed to do was chill the fuck out, my main problem was anxiety. The "dissociation" isn't a bad thing if you can live with it, actually it can be a source of power, you're more of a "high" being, more detached and able to see things from a perspective most people cant (and it's not a bad perspective).
'That inner Self, as the primeval Spirit, Eternal, ever effulgent, full and infinite Bliss, Single, indivisible, whole and living, Shines in everyone as the witnessing awareness. That self in its splendour, shining in the cavity of the heart This self is neither born nor dies, Neither grows nor decays, Nor does it suffer any change. When a pot is broken, the space within it is not, And similarly, when the body dies the Self in it remains eternal. - Ramana Maharishi
I want THAT sort of dissociation to be able to look at things in a better light.
My dissociation keeps me from feeling emotions that I want. For example, I can be with my girlfriend and daughter, and neither of them will hold any emotion to me. And it's scary. It's like fear is the only emotion I can have sometimes. It keeps me distanced, and people can tell.
I would venture to say that my anxiety is an issue as well. I've been trying to stay less dependent on my benzo's for help with my anxiety, because they keep me feeling like a zombie (which is nice sometimes, but not how I want to always feel).
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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: bholzer]
#14401240 - 05/04/11 06:13 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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oh yeah, its anxiety bro. cut it off at the source (the mind)
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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I partly get that you are aware that you have achieved something and I also am aware that you are resentful about what you no longer have.
people that lock into this often get treated for OCD, if you wanted you could be diagnosed and treated.
I am not sure you really need that, but if you can't turn this into something positive on your own, then you probably should and nobody here will think the worse of you.
to turn this around you need to find your new self in between the fragments and you have to like it. this is not something we are trained to do. yeah, meditation can help that, but it's not easy.
at least you don't need to be exorcised.
maybe you have a gestalt treatment center in your town, they can be excellent.
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eckhem

Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 677
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: Psicodelico]
#14401735 - 05/04/11 07:53 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psicodelico said:
Quote:
joemolloy said: Psychedelic drugs destroy some people's minds. No one understands the complex interactions between these chemicals and your brain. But I think it is instructive to realize these drugs bring about psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic type states, right? We call it tripping, but in the 1950s doctors believed they induced textbook schizophrenia. Some minds have more difficulty bouncing back to normal than others due to genetics, environment, past use, etc. I think if you value your sanity, you'd not tinker any further with that delicate organ in your head.
Think of each trip as brain trauma. How many much more can it take? Imagine your description in the original post becomes your new normal. Yikes.
Do you have any scientific proof for all these statements? Any drug has an impact in the brain, it doesn't necessarily mean that it destroys the brain but it does affect it. And NO! it is not all psychedelic drugs that have psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic effects on the human mind. Why you taking in account 1950's medical 'studies' anyways? I dnt think you should think as each trip as a trauma but an experience, learning and absorbing whatever the trip teaches you. lady or whoever you are, I dnt even know why you are in this forum if all you say is nonsense without any scientific reason, only cheap morality.
For the author of the topic I'd suggest Terence McKenna's book 'True Hallucinations' where he goes on days and days tripping in the amazon with his brother and a couple friends exploring all realms of psychedelic drugs. really awesome stuff!
You don't really know what you are saying do you? People can be severely FUCKEd up from psychedelics, and they are most deffinately not for MOST people. They are very intense and can be very traumatic in many cases. You really cant just talk away a bad experience bro. YOU HAVE NO CONTROL... and ifyou dont realize that... TAKE SOME SHROOMS BITCH
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bholzer
quasi-scientist


Registered: 03/22/11
Posts: 2,409
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: eckhem]
#14401753 - 05/04/11 07:56 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
eckhem said:
Quote:
Psicodelico said:
Quote:
joemolloy said: Psychedelic drugs destroy some people's minds. No one understands the complex interactions between these chemicals and your brain. But I think it is instructive to realize these drugs bring about psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic type states, right? We call it tripping, but in the 1950s doctors believed they induced textbook schizophrenia. Some minds have more difficulty bouncing back to normal than others due to genetics, environment, past use, etc. I think if you value your sanity, you'd not tinker any further with that delicate organ in your head.
Think of each trip as brain trauma. How many much more can it take? Imagine your description in the original post becomes your new normal. Yikes.
Do you have any scientific proof for all these statements? Any drug has an impact in the brain, it doesn't necessarily mean that it destroys the brain but it does affect it. And NO! it is not all psychedelic drugs that have psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic effects on the human mind. Why you taking in account 1950's medical 'studies' anyways? I dnt think you should think as each trip as a trauma but an experience, learning and absorbing whatever the trip teaches you. lady or whoever you are, I dnt even know why you are in this forum if all you say is nonsense without any scientific reason, only cheap morality.
For the author of the topic I'd suggest Terence McKenna's book 'True Hallucinations' where he goes on days and days tripping in the amazon with his brother and a couple friends exploring all realms of psychedelic drugs. really awesome stuff!
You don't really know what you are saying do you? People can be severely FUCKEd up from psychedelics, and they are most deffinately not for MOST people. They are very intense and can be very traumatic in many cases. You really cant just talk away a bad experience bro. YOU HAVE NO CONTROL... and ifyou dont realize that... TAKE SOME SHROOMS BITCH 
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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.
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k00laid
NEMO


Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 19,636
Last seen: 6 months, 5 days
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: bholzer]
#14401764 - 05/04/11 07:59 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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ive seen a few casualties in my day..
-------------------- AMU - AMU Q & A - MyVideo Teks!
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sporesmores420
SillyPsybin



Registered: 06/01/10
Posts: 829
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: k00laid]
#14401891 - 05/04/11 08:26 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I can't trip without getting naked.
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k00laid
NEMO


Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 19,636
Last seen: 6 months, 5 days
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dude i am actually the same way.
if i am not in a situation where i can take off my clothes as i so please. i won't eat any psychadelics.
-------------------- AMU - AMU Q & A - MyVideo Teks!
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t23

Registered: 04/21/11
Posts: 349
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Re: cant trip without dissociating *DELETED* [Re: k00laid]
#14402070 - 05/04/11 08:55 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Post deleted by t23Reason for deletion: .
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Psicodelico
Just another psycho



Registered: 01/21/11
Posts: 246
Loc: Brazil
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: t23]
#14403033 - 05/04/11 11:55 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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"No one understands the complex interactions between these chemicals and your brain. But I think it is instructive to realize these drugs bring about psychotic, delusional, and schizophrenic type states, right? We call it tripping, but in the 1950s doctors believed they induced textbook schizophrenia... I think if you value your sanity, you'd not tinker any further with that delicate organ in your head."
I dnt wanto to create a pointless argument but this quote has no value at all for the thread. These drugs do not always bring delusional, psychotic and schizophrenic states, even though a lot of people comment on this forum about experiences such as this thread, in my general experience with friends and ppl around me, psychedelics, if taken in the right 'set and setting', have a lot more to contribute than to harm the human mind. I'm not going any further because this conversation has lost its value.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker


Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: Psicodelico]
#14403046 - 05/04/11 11:59 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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psychedelics are playing with fire as you're basically just energy bombing yourself, and the very act of taking a drug sort of implies some sort of egotistical motivation, imo, at least a little bit. Of course that's why respecting the drug is good and you should know why you're takin it. It's a toughie cause it's totally possible to advance in life spiritually and all that without tripping. But sometimes it can be a shove in the right direction, but the thing is its always gonna be a shove in some direction
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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helix
Idealist Thinker Musician Lover


Registered: 09/13/10
Posts: 409
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: g00ru]
#14403195 - 05/05/11 12:33 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Give yourself time to integrate!
I experienced this after taking a several hits of lsd countless weekends in a row. Definitely stay sober, give your fragmented self time to to congeal into something, stay in a routine, meditate, think about what you want to accomplish in your life, exercise, etc
The solution to getting through a bad trip in life is the same as getting through a bad trip while tripping - let go and give it time
Edited by helix (05/05/11 12:38 AM)
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: g00ru]
#14403682 - 05/05/11 04:46 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
guruu said: you gotta believe in yourself man, one day at a time just start building something, you have to have dreams to be a happy human, you have to be able to have a good imagination about your future.
Ive thought about it more and why Im experiencing this. The "characters" all are pretty solid...theyve done stuff, amassed fortunes, have strong views, faced difficulties I couldnt comprehend and stayed strong in spite of it all.
I feel as though I am weak, directionless, untalented, unintelligent, worthless and frankly a waste of oxygen.
Quote:
redgreenvines said: I partly get that you are aware that you have achieved something and I also am aware that you are resentful about what you no longer have.
people that lock into this often get treated for OCD, if you wanted you could be diagnosed and treated.
I am not sure you really need that, but if you can't turn this into something positive on your own, then you probably should and nobody here will think the worse of you.
to turn this around you need to find your new self in between the fragments and you have to like it. this is not something we are trained to do. yeah, meditation can help that, but it's not easy.
at least you don't need to be exorcised.
maybe you have a gestalt treatment center in your town, they can be excellent.
I dunno how youve picked up on this from what ive written here. I am very resentful for what I no longer have...i basically lost everything.
I dont like what Ive been but just dont know where to start.
I feel disgusted with what Ive done with my life and my lack of personality. I want to have a personality. I want to be interesting. I dont want to be dull, listless and passive.
Edited by MisterMuscaria (05/05/11 04:52 AM)
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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the easy way is to get SSRI's the medium way to deal is to get into Gestalt Training the more difficult way to deal is to read everything, and pull yourself through life on your own, by art or work, or yoga or all of those.
I cannot say that life is easy, but I can say that the pieces will fall into perspective over time if you care and try to make things better.
the specific sense of loss is endemic to all humans, and can be used to access your humanity, after you shed the resentment which throws you into chaos - i.e. the one thing that is currently your demon, can become your ally in being a better person.
psychedelics? - give them a rest.
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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I like to go the most difficult route.
I do art, work and yoga all recently. It's sorta a coping mechanism. My boss makes me feel like I cant do anything right and it doesnt help. Dont read as much as I used to, but I stay up to date on current events. My work is so harsh on my chronic back pain that I have to do yoga just to feel okay.
I dont feel like I need psychedelics though, I think Ive learned all that I can learn from them and I need time to rebuild. First they made me aware of the ego, then they killed the ego, then they resurrected the ego, then they fed the ego, then they bore a litter of egos.
In addition to their value through what theyve done, what they do, what theyve amassed, what struggles theyve had, etc, mostly the characters have personality. I feel as though I lack personality because I have no identity and no identity because Im so dissociated. I dont know who I am. I dont know my purpose. Some say my purpose should be to "have fun" but I feel as though Id be eschewing adult responsibility. ive got death anxiety and feel like I should be doing something with myself other than working a job i hate, drinking, tripping, etc. At the same time I feel like I cant relax and just mellow out because of this. I drink to mellow out and be comfortable around people...so that I dont feel judged for my personality or lack thereof by them. I think too much about what others think so I play characters to divert their attention. Some of the characters are really charismatic and the ladies like them. Few ladies ever like me for who I really am and when they really get to know me the real me they run far far away. Recently I met one who I was comfortable around enough to tell her what Ive been doing with my life, with no fear and she actually admired it. I told her of my shame about my situation but she said that she wished she could live my life or a similar life. She admired that i go on adventures. The only thing Im good at talking about when Im not playing a character is my adventures and certain personality types call them cool but it's all very hunter s thompson fear and loathing I got so fucked up I didnt know where I was type of stuff and hid it well but still came out okay in the end and all this shit happened. I could write a book but i lack the discipline.
I just dont like that Im so one dimensional. That all my adventures are so drug fueled and when I take away the drugs I have no more adventures and am terrified at the idea.
Edited by MisterMuscaria (05/05/11 05:19 AM)
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker


Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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from reading this thread, i'm optimistic about you, your'e obviously intelligent and highly self aware and most people don't have the courage to give a nice hard look at themselves like that.
RGV had amazing advice on the easy, medium, and hard ways to pull yourself out of this. Imo, this is not the only life we have lived, and you'd be doing yourself a disservice by going any other way than the hard route.
You say you don't know who you are? If you honestly want to find out who you are, nothing can prevent you from realizing that. Ask yourself "who am i" in a meditation and see where the question takes you. You sound very close to the realization honestly, and sometimes at that point it's so subtle that it seems to discourage looking, because you might not find anything. But I would say, the further inward you go, the more your surface thoughts and personalities will begin to naturally balance and converge, as you learn how to quiet the mind and focus on the being.
hmmm i've been in advice mode the past few days
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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really get to know me the real me [Re: g00ru]
#14404991 - 05/05/11 12:12 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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bingo
Quote:
"Few ladies ever like me for who I really am and when they really get to know me the real me they run far far away. Recently I met one who I was comfortable around enough to tell her what Ive been doing with my life, with no fear and she actually admired it."
***"really get to know me the real me"*** who's that (? - no answer expected, but in the same way it was used, so it is abused - so be gentle) and good luck with that yoga and your back.
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: really get to know me the real me [Re: redgreenvines]
#14405022 - 05/05/11 12:19 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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I dont know who the real me is, but it's more of a "default" when all the characters go away. When all the demons come out.
When I speak without thinking, that's the real me.
The characters are like invasive thoughts...meditation can block them out but then im just there...i am the fool on the hill again with a grin.
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Cactilove
Controversial Mystic



Registered: 02/17/11
Posts: 4,826
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: g00ru]
#14409640 - 05/06/11 11:06 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Always have a fire extinguisher on hand!
-------------------- Orgone Conclusion...Bringing OTD to PS&P since 2007.
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ChronicSmoke
wanderer


Registered: 02/25/11
Posts: 538
Loc: On the Moon
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: Cactilove]
#14410131 - 05/06/11 12:49 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Man, I think some of you are taking too many psychedelics and too often.
Whats with all this demonic talk about seeing things or thinking things that change your life. You guys know what is happening isn't really happening. I regularly have problems at the beginning of trips, but its normal anxiety and I recognize it.
Psychedelics are not to be abused, and my mind gets stronger and stronger every day, I feel the occasional mushroom trip expands my understanding of myself.
If you push it too far, your probably going to be fucked up in the head this should be understood from the start.
Moderation is the key to everything in life.
-------------------- This is a public computer, 1,000's of people use it everyday this isn't me typing this. I dont even know how I got on this site, how the hell do I even work this computer.
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: ChronicSmoke]
#14410845 - 05/06/11 03:19 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Well i know that now. hence why I stopped tripping for a while and have only done it three times this whole year.
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eckhem

Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 677
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Re: cant trip without dissociating [Re: ChronicSmoke]
#14417086 - 05/07/11 10:47 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
ChronicSmoke said: Man, I think some of you are taking too many psychedelics and too often.
Whats with all this demonic talk about seeing things or thinking things that change your life. You guys know what is happening isn't really happening. I regularly have problems at the beginning of trips, but its normal anxiety and I recognize it.
Psychedelics are not to be abused, and my mind gets stronger and stronger every day, I feel the occasional mushroom trip expands my understanding of myself.
If you push it too far, your probably going to be fucked up in the head this should be understood from the start.
Moderation is the key to everything in life.
Rapid changes to your ego and self, or prolonged to nonexistent ones? Which is your choice in life? I have probably "abused" mush, but who's to say it hasn't bettered me?
You learn rather quickly that light and dark aren't so different when you only see shades in between. Evil dark thoughts become lost, but so do the good. There are no distinctions besides the ones we create.
Psychedelics have what could be called a mind altering power. People such as yourself say not to abuse that... but... this is your one shot at life! Who's to tell another person how they "should" experience or understand it?
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